I Know What You Did
Without Prejudice
I know enough time has gone by to be able to tell it like it is. The normal amount of years, I find, is ten. For some reason ten years on average is enough time to forgive, forget ( if you choose) and move on. You can then actually be friends with an ex. Or not. No one says you have to.
The forgiving is for yourself, so that stored anger is no longer eating at you. The forgetting is another story. Sometimes someone hurts you down to your soul. That is a behaviour you are better off not to forget.
You can either forgive or forget but you can't do both.
My ex left me abandoned after I asked him to leave. He took everything, the business, the house, the cars, even the furniture. My Aunt on arriving from England for Christmas was forced to sit on boxes when she arrived. And laughed. She was 70 and it was the first time she had ever flown in her life. It was a brave thing to do.
She had just lost her Husband of fifty years. I had just lost a child. We comforted each other as best we could.
She had rung me in the September. My Uncle who I had seen the year, had been diagnosed with stomach cancer and died five weeks later. He had been put in a hospice and they had time to talk about the future for her without him. They had just been awarded a new council flat, a Bungalow ( one storey ) rather than the double storey council house they had lived in for thirty years.
" I know you are going through a terrible time, Janette " she had said, " But I am just so lonely"
And burst into tears.
I contacted my well off siblings and they paid for her to fly out from the U.K.
She stayed months and would have stayed longer but she had to go home and organise her Council Tax.
She loved Australia. Absolutely loved it and has been back many times. I spoke to her on her 96th birthday last year. She wanted to come back again but felt she was too old. I reminded her that her Aunty Mary who died a few months prior was 106. And still ran her own abode. No Meals On Wheels for Aunty Mary. No council help. Independent and mentally sharp till she died in her sleep.
That gives me hope for me and my girls futures.
She liked my ex but chose not to see him that visit but did catch up with him on a subsequent visit and that time she had her younger sister in tow, my Aunty Pat. Aunty Betty was a typical Yorkshire woman. Worshipped men and always gave them high respect above all others. Her younger Sister, the rebel, was not so adoring.
Aunty Pat had been married to a darkly jealous Man who had become an invalid when he retired from the mines. Her life was very unhappy and yet she herself was a sparkling, attractive joyful woman who existed in a life without him as best she could. She always looked after him but remained guarded about his at times spiteful and cruel behaviours.
I know enough time has gone by to be able to tell it like it is. The normal amount of years, I find, is ten. For some reason ten years on average is enough time to forgive, forget ( if you choose) and move on. You can then actually be friends with an ex. Or not. No one says you have to.
The forgiving is for yourself, so that stored anger is no longer eating at you. The forgetting is another story. Sometimes someone hurts you down to your soul. That is a behaviour you are better off not to forget.
You can either forgive or forget but you can't do both.
My ex left me abandoned after I asked him to leave. He took everything, the business, the house, the cars, even the furniture. My Aunt on arriving from England for Christmas was forced to sit on boxes when she arrived. And laughed. She was 70 and it was the first time she had ever flown in her life. It was a brave thing to do.
She had just lost her Husband of fifty years. I had just lost a child. We comforted each other as best we could.
She had rung me in the September. My Uncle who I had seen the year, had been diagnosed with stomach cancer and died five weeks later. He had been put in a hospice and they had time to talk about the future for her without him. They had just been awarded a new council flat, a Bungalow ( one storey ) rather than the double storey council house they had lived in for thirty years.
" I know you are going through a terrible time, Janette " she had said, " But I am just so lonely"
And burst into tears.
I contacted my well off siblings and they paid for her to fly out from the U.K.
She stayed months and would have stayed longer but she had to go home and organise her Council Tax.
She loved Australia. Absolutely loved it and has been back many times. I spoke to her on her 96th birthday last year. She wanted to come back again but felt she was too old. I reminded her that her Aunty Mary who died a few months prior was 106. And still ran her own abode. No Meals On Wheels for Aunty Mary. No council help. Independent and mentally sharp till she died in her sleep.
That gives me hope for me and my girls futures.
She liked my ex but chose not to see him that visit but did catch up with him on a subsequent visit and that time she had her younger sister in tow, my Aunty Pat. Aunty Betty was a typical Yorkshire woman. Worshipped men and always gave them high respect above all others. Her younger Sister, the rebel, was not so adoring.
Aunty Pat had been married to a darkly jealous Man who had become an invalid when he retired from the mines. Her life was very unhappy and yet she herself was a sparkling, attractive joyful woman who existed in a life without him as best she could. She always looked after him but remained guarded about his at times spiteful and cruel behaviours.
