Dr Phil And The Cougars
Without Prejudice
Saw Dr PHIL on Wednesday talking with older women and their younger men.
I wasn't sure he was altogether comfortable with the subject matter. He seemed to think that younger men can only be looking for sex or money whuch makes the men look predatory and the women foolish.
The thing is, Dr PHIL most of my relationships have been with younger men. Apart from my marriage at 17 to a man who was older. We were married for 20 years and only remained married for the sake of the kids. From the first time he lost his bad temper in a rage I knew I wouldn't remain married to him.
He was good looking, charismatic, a good provider, wanted to be married and have a family.
After we divorced I met and was engaged to a young Irish man who was 12 years my junior. For the first six months I felt my age and after that never worried about it, never felt it. He was an alcoholic and I knew early on things would not change but was having such fun I just didn't care. He was adoring at 30 to my 42. He made me feel treasured, respected and I loved him and he me.
He was good to me, generous, funny and he put back everything my marriage had extracted from me. He was intelligent like me, quick witted as only the Celts can be, he cooked, worked hard and as much as he tried he was never able to conquer his love for a " jar" or two. He took me to Ireland twice. We bought two houses together, as he trusted my taste, and both made money. And stayed my friend for years after we broke up.
He matched me sexually, intellectually, emotionally and the " going up was worth the coming down "
Drunk on love and beer we wandered hot summer streets, hand in hand, stopping to kiss in public. He bought me Dune perfume as I was wearing it when we first met. And second hand books for my Sue Grafton collection inscribed with love forever on the fly leaf. I still have them. We shared a passion for BBC shows like Cracker and Prime Suspect, Jonathan Creek, Taggart and I scrubbed off my rusty soccer watching days for him.
He had true and loyal friends who stood by him no matter what and I admired that in him. He had no kids of his own and he took on my three girls without qualm. My grandkids too. He was loveable, a rogue when in his cups. He could drink solidly for five days in a row and collapse for the same. He was the only man I saw read a book, apart from my Dad and brothers, and his fave was Ed McBain.
He loved to grocery shop and cook and he was good at both, better than I in some things. He was brutally honest and was going to say it whether you liked it or not. In the end he stated " Never ask me to give up the drink. " that was as close he came to admitting he was an alcoholic. That was after ten weeks in psychiatric for depression, after many attempts to take anti alcohol meds, such as Antabuse. I let him go and he me and it was a good parting. He gave me a car and a brand new washing machine and insisted I take some money from him.
After that I met a man 25 years younger than I. I thought he was crazy to be attracted to me and was steering him in the direction of one of my daughters. Although we are no longer lovers we are great friends. I adore him. He is sweet, spiritual, Seventh Day Adventist, and has totally adored me from day one. He wants a family one day, a wife, a marriage. I can't give him that and he acknowledges it. We remain the best of friends.
So Dr PHIL it's not just about sex, or manipulation, ego, a Mother fixation.an Oedipus complex.
I saw it after a while as a practical thing. Being older.
After all women live longer. It's just a matter of biology, men die sooner. And I have cared for the aged widows and one aged single Jewish man of 80 odd. The widows do fine and are lonely for male company. The man of 80 had his heart broken once when he was young and never tried again. Ever. Hated women. He said they were untrustworthy creatures.
A 20 year age gap is about right for older women and younger men as that seems to be the average of the years of the " Death Trap" . She can reach over a hundred and he is eighty and trust me at that age no one cares about your age gap. And the best thing is to find someone that Talks, because by that age that will all you will be doing.
Love Nette
Saw Dr PHIL on Wednesday talking with older women and their younger men.
I wasn't sure he was altogether comfortable with the subject matter. He seemed to think that younger men can only be looking for sex or money whuch makes the men look predatory and the women foolish.
The thing is, Dr PHIL most of my relationships have been with younger men. Apart from my marriage at 17 to a man who was older. We were married for 20 years and only remained married for the sake of the kids. From the first time he lost his bad temper in a rage I knew I wouldn't remain married to him.
He was good looking, charismatic, a good provider, wanted to be married and have a family.
After we divorced I met and was engaged to a young Irish man who was 12 years my junior. For the first six months I felt my age and after that never worried about it, never felt it. He was an alcoholic and I knew early on things would not change but was having such fun I just didn't care. He was adoring at 30 to my 42. He made me feel treasured, respected and I loved him and he me.
He was good to me, generous, funny and he put back everything my marriage had extracted from me. He was intelligent like me, quick witted as only the Celts can be, he cooked, worked hard and as much as he tried he was never able to conquer his love for a " jar" or two. He took me to Ireland twice. We bought two houses together, as he trusted my taste, and both made money. And stayed my friend for years after we broke up.
He matched me sexually, intellectually, emotionally and the " going up was worth the coming down "
Drunk on love and beer we wandered hot summer streets, hand in hand, stopping to kiss in public. He bought me Dune perfume as I was wearing it when we first met. And second hand books for my Sue Grafton collection inscribed with love forever on the fly leaf. I still have them. We shared a passion for BBC shows like Cracker and Prime Suspect, Jonathan Creek, Taggart and I scrubbed off my rusty soccer watching days for him.
He had true and loyal friends who stood by him no matter what and I admired that in him. He had no kids of his own and he took on my three girls without qualm. My grandkids too. He was loveable, a rogue when in his cups. He could drink solidly for five days in a row and collapse for the same. He was the only man I saw read a book, apart from my Dad and brothers, and his fave was Ed McBain.
He loved to grocery shop and cook and he was good at both, better than I in some things. He was brutally honest and was going to say it whether you liked it or not. In the end he stated " Never ask me to give up the drink. " that was as close he came to admitting he was an alcoholic. That was after ten weeks in psychiatric for depression, after many attempts to take anti alcohol meds, such as Antabuse. I let him go and he me and it was a good parting. He gave me a car and a brand new washing machine and insisted I take some money from him.
After that I met a man 25 years younger than I. I thought he was crazy to be attracted to me and was steering him in the direction of one of my daughters. Although we are no longer lovers we are great friends. I adore him. He is sweet, spiritual, Seventh Day Adventist, and has totally adored me from day one. He wants a family one day, a wife, a marriage. I can't give him that and he acknowledges it. We remain the best of friends.
So Dr PHIL it's not just about sex, or manipulation, ego, a Mother fixation.an Oedipus complex.
I saw it after a while as a practical thing. Being older.
After all women live longer. It's just a matter of biology, men die sooner. And I have cared for the aged widows and one aged single Jewish man of 80 odd. The widows do fine and are lonely for male company. The man of 80 had his heart broken once when he was young and never tried again. Ever. Hated women. He said they were untrustworthy creatures.
A 20 year age gap is about right for older women and younger men as that seems to be the average of the years of the " Death Trap" . She can reach over a hundred and he is eighty and trust me at that age no one cares about your age gap. And the best thing is to find someone that Talks, because by that age that will all you will be doing.
Love Nette
