You Can Have Him, I Don't Want Him
Without Prejudice
" You can have him, I don't want him, he didn't love me, anyway."
Or the reverse, also true, " her " for all the Men out there.
" You can have her "
Often times after you find out someone is cheating on you, your emotional state is similar to grief. The five stages of grief being,
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
I have cried buckets of tears over my lost loves. I am sure they haven't cried buckets over me. The denial must be quick, if faced with other burdens to come. Denial is one of the ways of the brain and heart to protect you. It all seems not to be happening, it's " surreal " if you don't believe it, it simply didn't happen.
Even though you are in pain you should be able to function in auto pilot but sleeping and eating could be a big proble. Very hard to turn off your brain from remembering over and over specific hurts. The shock and numbness you feel is due to a flood of endorphins that the brain provides so that you don't die of shock. They last the first month.
Then you will feel pain like you have never felt before. Even your eyebrows will hurt. Your hands will wring each other automatically. Your face will feel " marked with grief " a rictus of pain that nothing can change and you feel as if you will be so marked, forever.
All stages will be felt and occur again and again, sometimes short, sometimes long. Grief knows no boundaries.
I knew of one man that started another relationship within six weeks of his wife leaving him for another. When that relationship ended he said it was devastating. But didn't stop him jumping into another. As if he just had to have someone to prove something to himself or the world, his ex, perhaps. It depends on your own self confidence.
I know of one lady that cried every night for 3 months when she went to work. The strange thing about her intense grief was that she had split up with her ex eighteen months prior. But she heard he had moved another woman into the house that had originally been hers.he bought her out after ten years of them being together.
She had needed money at the time of first meeting him, her 3 boys had left her broke when they emptied that particular nest. She told Fred, ( not his real name ) on meeting him at an ethnic club, she needed a boarder. They became a couple within a week. He handed over his entire wage to her and she clothed, fed him and bought his smokes and beer.
Turned out he had been in jail for rape, drank like a fish, smoked like a train and abused her physically. She was no angel, she was faithful but became a screaming, complaining harridan. She could not let up in him. But a thousand dollars a week board was not to be sneezed at she said. She broke a toe on the oven when he slapped her once and slept in the car that night.
So when she was so upset after finally splitting from him we wondered why. She rang and left obscene messages on his phone, hoping the new woman would hear. She sued him for another ten thousand dollars. She would appear at the ethnic club they had frequented and dance past him with her head stuck up in the air and calling his new lady, a Monkey.
She had sex with everyone and anyone. The tiler that came to do work at her new little house. The painter, the real estate agent, her mechanic. I asked her what she did, answer the door naked ? I felt for her I really did, as she is one of my best girlfriends. Her madness lasted a year at least, the crying for three months, the promiscuity, six months. Binge drinking and smoking the whole year.
Like Mr Tosd from The Wind In The Willows she found new activities all the time and then abandoned them. The best one was the piano accordion episode.
She told me one day, out of the blue that she had always wanted to play a piano accordion. I was surprised but said nothing. She focused for weeks on the buying of, the delivery of the precious piano accordion. She booked in for an initial five lessons. Meeting the music teacher in person before the accordion arrived.
She was committed, she was ready and then the shiny new, highly sought after accordion arrived. It certainly wasn't cheap but that didn't worry her.
She was so excited she called me over to the house for the " big reveal " I have never been fond of the PianO Accordian as an instrument.
Needless to say it was way too heavy to begin with, and sprang around like s demented snake. It flopped down and almost dropped and then it squished her not so small tits. I laughed until I cried, both of us ended up absolutely cracking up, collapsing on to her sofa exhausted in our mirth.
She never sent it back and cancelled her music lessons. A lesson not learned, a bit like her attitude towards men, that remains hopeful and unrealistic all at the same time..
No one can make me laugh like her, my funny friend. Xxx
" You can have him, I don't want him, he didn't love me, anyway."
Or the reverse, also true, " her " for all the Men out there.
" You can have her "
Often times after you find out someone is cheating on you, your emotional state is similar to grief. The five stages of grief being,
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
I have cried buckets of tears over my lost loves. I am sure they haven't cried buckets over me. The denial must be quick, if faced with other burdens to come. Denial is one of the ways of the brain and heart to protect you. It all seems not to be happening, it's " surreal " if you don't believe it, it simply didn't happen.
Even though you are in pain you should be able to function in auto pilot but sleeping and eating could be a big proble. Very hard to turn off your brain from remembering over and over specific hurts. The shock and numbness you feel is due to a flood of endorphins that the brain provides so that you don't die of shock. They last the first month.
Then you will feel pain like you have never felt before. Even your eyebrows will hurt. Your hands will wring each other automatically. Your face will feel " marked with grief " a rictus of pain that nothing can change and you feel as if you will be so marked, forever.
All stages will be felt and occur again and again, sometimes short, sometimes long. Grief knows no boundaries.
I knew of one man that started another relationship within six weeks of his wife leaving him for another. When that relationship ended he said it was devastating. But didn't stop him jumping into another. As if he just had to have someone to prove something to himself or the world, his ex, perhaps. It depends on your own self confidence.
I know of one lady that cried every night for 3 months when she went to work. The strange thing about her intense grief was that she had split up with her ex eighteen months prior. But she heard he had moved another woman into the house that had originally been hers.he bought her out after ten years of them being together.
She had needed money at the time of first meeting him, her 3 boys had left her broke when they emptied that particular nest. She told Fred, ( not his real name ) on meeting him at an ethnic club, she needed a boarder. They became a couple within a week. He handed over his entire wage to her and she clothed, fed him and bought his smokes and beer.
Turned out he had been in jail for rape, drank like a fish, smoked like a train and abused her physically. She was no angel, she was faithful but became a screaming, complaining harridan. She could not let up in him. But a thousand dollars a week board was not to be sneezed at she said. She broke a toe on the oven when he slapped her once and slept in the car that night.
So when she was so upset after finally splitting from him we wondered why. She rang and left obscene messages on his phone, hoping the new woman would hear. She sued him for another ten thousand dollars. She would appear at the ethnic club they had frequented and dance past him with her head stuck up in the air and calling his new lady, a Monkey.
She had sex with everyone and anyone. The tiler that came to do work at her new little house. The painter, the real estate agent, her mechanic. I asked her what she did, answer the door naked ? I felt for her I really did, as she is one of my best girlfriends. Her madness lasted a year at least, the crying for three months, the promiscuity, six months. Binge drinking and smoking the whole year.
Like Mr Tosd from The Wind In The Willows she found new activities all the time and then abandoned them. The best one was the piano accordion episode.
She told me one day, out of the blue that she had always wanted to play a piano accordion. I was surprised but said nothing. She focused for weeks on the buying of, the delivery of the precious piano accordion. She booked in for an initial five lessons. Meeting the music teacher in person before the accordion arrived.
She was committed, she was ready and then the shiny new, highly sought after accordion arrived. It certainly wasn't cheap but that didn't worry her.
She was so excited she called me over to the house for the " big reveal " I have never been fond of the PianO Accordian as an instrument.
Needless to say it was way too heavy to begin with, and sprang around like s demented snake. It flopped down and almost dropped and then it squished her not so small tits. I laughed until I cried, both of us ended up absolutely cracking up, collapsing on to her sofa exhausted in our mirth.
She never sent it back and cancelled her music lessons. A lesson not learned, a bit like her attitude towards men, that remains hopeful and unrealistic all at the same time..
No one can make me laugh like her, my funny friend. Xxx
