After The Miscarriage--the Grief, The Joy
Without Prejudice
We went through the birth date due grief in the last two weeks. The Anniversary Phenonema, they call it. Anniversaries markers of grief, the firsts. The 9th September would have been the lost baby, Knox's, approximate birth date. A time of reflection of a life not lived, little traditions made. A box tied with a ribbon, baby clothes bought for him put away, tucked under the bed for solitary viewing at a later date, the sweetest agony of loss hidden from prying eyes.
And out loud and proud with another life to come and a frenzy of ultra spring cleaning. I'm calling her Babyzilla. She bosses us all around, scrub that wall, fix that picture, mend these clothes and she works as tirelessly as the rest of us. But in the afternoons I make her put her feet up. She doesn't want the puffy ankles, just yet. Summer will give her enough of that. Even now the thought of loss haunts her still but she must just carry on regardless. The boys are on School holidays, and it's the second week. The first week such fun, the second getting expensive.
One at work, three teenage, average age 16, one not even ours, but he can't go home, so he helps out a lot. One almost ten year old in his own little world and the 5 year old one we are grooming for school next year who keeps getting out stripped by his 3 year old brother.
This holidays marking the return to the computer game world of Grand Theft Auto. V. The frenzy amongst the younger males in the house almost feral. They have to be dragged away from machines and thrown in the shower, and you have to check the soap after to see if it's wet. They have been known to run the water and wet their hair in a faux shower. So they can rush back to the game.
In one way it's good as we never see them except at meal times. Or foraging for a snack like bears waking from hibernation, grumpy, mumbling, grunting. Cracking it if there are no soft drinks, Doritos
,cheese, dim sims or tomato sauce. They move in a solid pack and are best avoided. They are Zombies of GTA5 and we hear of others all over Melbourne. In fact on Facebook, there is now in the relationship statuses categories of, " in a relationship," "it's complicated, " " single," "divorced," a new category, " GTA V, "
The boys laugh about this, thinking it sure doesn't apply to them. Last night the Game went "Live " all over the World. The slothy bears were wide eyed, bushy tailed, quivering with excitement, lively all of a sudden. It was not a state we were used to, their Mother and I so we avoid them as much as possible, retiring to my unit to do so. We told them to feed themselves.
To Be Continued
We went through the birth date due grief in the last two weeks. The Anniversary Phenonema, they call it. Anniversaries markers of grief, the firsts. The 9th September would have been the lost baby, Knox's, approximate birth date. A time of reflection of a life not lived, little traditions made. A box tied with a ribbon, baby clothes bought for him put away, tucked under the bed for solitary viewing at a later date, the sweetest agony of loss hidden from prying eyes.
And out loud and proud with another life to come and a frenzy of ultra spring cleaning. I'm calling her Babyzilla. She bosses us all around, scrub that wall, fix that picture, mend these clothes and she works as tirelessly as the rest of us. But in the afternoons I make her put her feet up. She doesn't want the puffy ankles, just yet. Summer will give her enough of that. Even now the thought of loss haunts her still but she must just carry on regardless. The boys are on School holidays, and it's the second week. The first week such fun, the second getting expensive.
One at work, three teenage, average age 16, one not even ours, but he can't go home, so he helps out a lot. One almost ten year old in his own little world and the 5 year old one we are grooming for school next year who keeps getting out stripped by his 3 year old brother.
This holidays marking the return to the computer game world of Grand Theft Auto. V. The frenzy amongst the younger males in the house almost feral. They have to be dragged away from machines and thrown in the shower, and you have to check the soap after to see if it's wet. They have been known to run the water and wet their hair in a faux shower. So they can rush back to the game.
In one way it's good as we never see them except at meal times. Or foraging for a snack like bears waking from hibernation, grumpy, mumbling, grunting. Cracking it if there are no soft drinks, Doritos
,cheese, dim sims or tomato sauce. They move in a solid pack and are best avoided. They are Zombies of GTA5 and we hear of others all over Melbourne. In fact on Facebook, there is now in the relationship statuses categories of, " in a relationship," "it's complicated, " " single," "divorced," a new category, " GTA V, "
The boys laugh about this, thinking it sure doesn't apply to them. Last night the Game went "Live " all over the World. The slothy bears were wide eyed, bushy tailed, quivering with excitement, lively all of a sudden. It was not a state we were used to, their Mother and I so we avoid them as much as possible, retiring to my unit to do so. We told them to feed themselves.
To Be Continued
