Teens On Drugs---A Practical Solution
Without Prejudice
If you have a teen on drugs you have a big problem but it is solve able.
Firstly teens are going to experiment, sex, drugs, alcohol. You as a parent are low on the totem pole of things that are on their influence list. Most teens would put their friends, their appearance, social media ( their popularity ) way ahead of a parent. They are finding their way in life and as most teens are egocentric, they will treat you like you are some sort of Alien creature. Life is all about them.
Do not panic if you find your child is experimenting with drugs. A lot of them are.
After they lost their youngest sister, two of my remaining three girls turned to drugs. Alcohol, "choof", speed, pills, heroin. You name it they took it. Anything to numb the pain. To forget, one said. They overdosed, had crummy friends, lived shockingly at times but one thing as a single parent I kept hold of was "I was right, they were wrong " and nothing was going to stop me from stopping them taking drugs.
Looking back now it was a huge undertaking but even though I was grieving and losing a marriage they were my main focus. I dogged their every footstep. I tracked the dealers, the druggie friends, the boyfriends, the influences and removed them one by one. I ended up packing them on to a bus and sent them interstate to my Dad. Then went there myself.
Not having the old connections they had to drugs in Melbourne was a good thing. My loving Father was a good thing as he just loved them without judgement. I knew they were still able to get " choof " ( marijuana ) but I was not as bothered about that as I was about alcohol, pills, speed. The state I sent them to was like a Nanny State anyway but ironically remains the biggest " growing" state of all the states in Australia. The three main crops Cane, Cattle and Cannabis. Lol.
Just to get them out of the dirty, grey, sad world of closed curtained rooms was a good thing. Sun, fresh air, refreshed their lives. The daily influences of junkie friends was gone. It was hard to stay in a darkened room with the chinks of sun beaming in to their rooms around the edges of curtains. And it was too hot to sleep all day.
One found out the man she loved was back in Melbourne and although he had nothing against smoking he was dead set against anything else. When she went back to Melbourne after 9 months, she went back to work, had her man, had her first baby and bought her first house. Her partner helped her and she helped him.
One other girl went with her, my foster daughter, and she went back to an old boyfriend who was an addict and ended up in a bit of trouble but eventually straightened up when her ex was put in jail. The older daughter who was her best friend dogged her every step, taking over my job back in Melbourne. She and her partner ended up dragging her to their place for twelve months and she ended up with a job, from where she met her future husband and married and had two boys.
The daughter I ended up going to live with up there was the oldest of the three, the mist sensible as she had a little boy of three. Because I was there she was able to just be herself and work out all her teen issues that she had put on hold since the death of her sister. I let her party. I partied too and we hired a babysitter. We both worked hard up there and partied hard too but mainly with alcohol. With the baby boy well taken care of we were both free to do what we liked. And we stayed two years.
She is now the Mother of 7 boys and a precious new baby girl.
I won't lie and say it was easy. It was tough, gritty, frightening sometimes, but I never ever gave up on them or on me. I was all they had for a time until good partners came along and children. And I was not about to lose another child. I felt bad for my oldest daughter who was " the sensible one " and was never a bother the way her Sisters were. My Sister, a nurse says,
" Mummy goes to the sickest one first "
I am a fierce Mother. I have put a lot in to my children and I expect it back. In the old days I would have lain down my life for theirs, anytime. But that was then and this is now. It' s now my time. All my girls are capable of running their own lives and I expect them to. And as I have put forty years of raising them it's now my relief that I no longer have to.
A relief and a Joy. Now I am the teenager and my girls want me to settle down, be a Nanny, like other Nannies.
Not going to happen. I have always been honest with my kids. I told them years ago I would be the globe trotting Nanny not the soft, sweet baby sitting kind. They understand this.
I did the job I was given, being a Mother, well. In fact I didn't realise how perfectionist I am about it until I was talking to two of my grandsons the other day.
I went to repeat one of my sayings, I used to say to my daughters.
" If you don't have the time to do it right the first time, when do you think you are going to have the time to do it over ? "
And only managed to say half of it before my grandsons finished it for me. I was shocked to say the least.
" Who taught you that ? "
" You, Nana, you "
I don't specifically remember saying that to them but somehow by Osmosis they knew it.
So now for my girls, it's their turn. And one day they will be just like me. Free.
" Free at last, I am free at last"
I can't remember who said that phrase but I know exactly how it feels.
Love Janette
If you have a teen on drugs you have a big problem but it is solve able.
Firstly teens are going to experiment, sex, drugs, alcohol. You as a parent are low on the totem pole of things that are on their influence list. Most teens would put their friends, their appearance, social media ( their popularity ) way ahead of a parent. They are finding their way in life and as most teens are egocentric, they will treat you like you are some sort of Alien creature. Life is all about them.
Do not panic if you find your child is experimenting with drugs. A lot of them are.
After they lost their youngest sister, two of my remaining three girls turned to drugs. Alcohol, "choof", speed, pills, heroin. You name it they took it. Anything to numb the pain. To forget, one said. They overdosed, had crummy friends, lived shockingly at times but one thing as a single parent I kept hold of was "I was right, they were wrong " and nothing was going to stop me from stopping them taking drugs.
Looking back now it was a huge undertaking but even though I was grieving and losing a marriage they were my main focus. I dogged their every footstep. I tracked the dealers, the druggie friends, the boyfriends, the influences and removed them one by one. I ended up packing them on to a bus and sent them interstate to my Dad. Then went there myself.
Not having the old connections they had to drugs in Melbourne was a good thing. My loving Father was a good thing as he just loved them without judgement. I knew they were still able to get " choof " ( marijuana ) but I was not as bothered about that as I was about alcohol, pills, speed. The state I sent them to was like a Nanny State anyway but ironically remains the biggest " growing" state of all the states in Australia. The three main crops Cane, Cattle and Cannabis. Lol.
Just to get them out of the dirty, grey, sad world of closed curtained rooms was a good thing. Sun, fresh air, refreshed their lives. The daily influences of junkie friends was gone. It was hard to stay in a darkened room with the chinks of sun beaming in to their rooms around the edges of curtains. And it was too hot to sleep all day.
One found out the man she loved was back in Melbourne and although he had nothing against smoking he was dead set against anything else. When she went back to Melbourne after 9 months, she went back to work, had her man, had her first baby and bought her first house. Her partner helped her and she helped him.
One other girl went with her, my foster daughter, and she went back to an old boyfriend who was an addict and ended up in a bit of trouble but eventually straightened up when her ex was put in jail. The older daughter who was her best friend dogged her every step, taking over my job back in Melbourne. She and her partner ended up dragging her to their place for twelve months and she ended up with a job, from where she met her future husband and married and had two boys.
The daughter I ended up going to live with up there was the oldest of the three, the mist sensible as she had a little boy of three. Because I was there she was able to just be herself and work out all her teen issues that she had put on hold since the death of her sister. I let her party. I partied too and we hired a babysitter. We both worked hard up there and partied hard too but mainly with alcohol. With the baby boy well taken care of we were both free to do what we liked. And we stayed two years.
She is now the Mother of 7 boys and a precious new baby girl.
I won't lie and say it was easy. It was tough, gritty, frightening sometimes, but I never ever gave up on them or on me. I was all they had for a time until good partners came along and children. And I was not about to lose another child. I felt bad for my oldest daughter who was " the sensible one " and was never a bother the way her Sisters were. My Sister, a nurse says,
" Mummy goes to the sickest one first "
I am a fierce Mother. I have put a lot in to my children and I expect it back. In the old days I would have lain down my life for theirs, anytime. But that was then and this is now. It' s now my time. All my girls are capable of running their own lives and I expect them to. And as I have put forty years of raising them it's now my relief that I no longer have to.
A relief and a Joy. Now I am the teenager and my girls want me to settle down, be a Nanny, like other Nannies.
Not going to happen. I have always been honest with my kids. I told them years ago I would be the globe trotting Nanny not the soft, sweet baby sitting kind. They understand this.
I did the job I was given, being a Mother, well. In fact I didn't realise how perfectionist I am about it until I was talking to two of my grandsons the other day.
I went to repeat one of my sayings, I used to say to my daughters.
" If you don't have the time to do it right the first time, when do you think you are going to have the time to do it over ? "
And only managed to say half of it before my grandsons finished it for me. I was shocked to say the least.
" Who taught you that ? "
" You, Nana, you "
I don't specifically remember saying that to them but somehow by Osmosis they knew it.
So now for my girls, it's their turn. And one day they will be just like me. Free.
" Free at last, I am free at last"
I can't remember who said that phrase but I know exactly how it feels.
Love Janette
