Lauren 5
Without Prejudice
The policeman brought her school bag back. In it was her lunch and pink glasses, the hated pink glasses, she had asked for contact lenses and I said for her to wait until she was older, she wanted a spiral perm as well and thinner thighs. Lauren was the quintessential 12 year old, that played with Barbie dolls one minute and wanted to be AXL from Guns N Roses the next. She had dressed up as Axl for the school concert doing a pretty good imitation and we, Deb. Yvette, Alena and I watched her. Bob wasn't able to come, " work you know", he didn't see any of her triumphs that year. Except for one and that was her triumph. A very special one, On her 12th birthday we were all going out for dinner to the Keysborough pub. Lauren wanted Yvette to come and Bob didn't. Yvette was a humiliation to him, pregnant at 17. Not unlike her Mother really! But Lauren insisted and Yvette came and he spoke not a word to us all evening, but we decided to ignore him, for once, and celebrated Lauren's twelfth birthday, anyway. Yvette looked back at Lauren's bravery going up against her father stating it was the last birthday we would spend together and she had been meant to be there. Lauren wanted her to be there.
I had a terrible premonition about a month before Lauren's death. It was Thursday, pocket money day. I had given her her money and Alena and Lauren went off to parkmore shopping Centre. I had warned Lauren not to buy any more things for her sisters expected baby. I was busy, distracted, cooking a roast for Dinner, hot and sweating. Lauren walked back in the door with a bunch of flowers as big as her head. They were for me and while i showed my delight a thought unbidden entered my head.
"Lauren', I thought "You are too good for this world, you are not going to survive"
I shook my head to rid myself of this stupid stupid thought. Where had it come from, it was dumb.
Lauren was one of the most gentle people i have ever met. i don't just say that because she is dead now, I don't canonize her. She was a real girl with faults and annoyances, the same as any other child. I had three other children and although they could also be kind and caring Lauren seemed to have it in bucket loads. She saved any creature when she was small. Flies and ants in match boxes, skinks in the laundry sink. She wrote to Bob Hawke about the slaying of baby seals and got a reply. If Debbie and yvette fought, which was often, Lauren would cry and offer to buy Deb a jar full of earrings. She made presents for people,once, at 3, wrapping a pair of her undies for Aunty Terry Cue (Kerry Cue, my sister in law) and then offered her a Tiss and a Tuddle.
She was fey, a changeling child, psychic a little. She had an imaginary friend called Bimbo who could change gender at will, sometimes a man, sometimes a woman, sometimes a child. Bimbo was with us for a long time. The name had come from a tape Bob had of some Jim Reeves songs, Lauren loved the song and Bimbo the companion, was born. She was also very accident prone and I had mentioned this to the plastic Surgeon when she had gashed her foot, badly. He poo-pooed me. But I insisted, I told him i had a brother, James who was the accident prone one in a family of 7, he had died at 11. In a tragic accidentThe surgeon said Lauren didn't need plastic surgery on her foot and that I was being silly. But I knew,i just knew.
We were never sure of the actual date of Jamie's death. We had been told as children not to discuss his death as it might upset Mum. So we didn't, And it was like he had never existed. The date of his death would become significant years later. But that story is for another time janette
The policeman brought her school bag back. In it was her lunch and pink glasses, the hated pink glasses, she had asked for contact lenses and I said for her to wait until she was older, she wanted a spiral perm as well and thinner thighs. Lauren was the quintessential 12 year old, that played with Barbie dolls one minute and wanted to be AXL from Guns N Roses the next. She had dressed up as Axl for the school concert doing a pretty good imitation and we, Deb. Yvette, Alena and I watched her. Bob wasn't able to come, " work you know", he didn't see any of her triumphs that year. Except for one and that was her triumph. A very special one, On her 12th birthday we were all going out for dinner to the Keysborough pub. Lauren wanted Yvette to come and Bob didn't. Yvette was a humiliation to him, pregnant at 17. Not unlike her Mother really! But Lauren insisted and Yvette came and he spoke not a word to us all evening, but we decided to ignore him, for once, and celebrated Lauren's twelfth birthday, anyway. Yvette looked back at Lauren's bravery going up against her father stating it was the last birthday we would spend together and she had been meant to be there. Lauren wanted her to be there.
I had a terrible premonition about a month before Lauren's death. It was Thursday, pocket money day. I had given her her money and Alena and Lauren went off to parkmore shopping Centre. I had warned Lauren not to buy any more things for her sisters expected baby. I was busy, distracted, cooking a roast for Dinner, hot and sweating. Lauren walked back in the door with a bunch of flowers as big as her head. They were for me and while i showed my delight a thought unbidden entered my head.
"Lauren', I thought "You are too good for this world, you are not going to survive"
I shook my head to rid myself of this stupid stupid thought. Where had it come from, it was dumb.
Lauren was one of the most gentle people i have ever met. i don't just say that because she is dead now, I don't canonize her. She was a real girl with faults and annoyances, the same as any other child. I had three other children and although they could also be kind and caring Lauren seemed to have it in bucket loads. She saved any creature when she was small. Flies and ants in match boxes, skinks in the laundry sink. She wrote to Bob Hawke about the slaying of baby seals and got a reply. If Debbie and yvette fought, which was often, Lauren would cry and offer to buy Deb a jar full of earrings. She made presents for people,once, at 3, wrapping a pair of her undies for Aunty Terry Cue (Kerry Cue, my sister in law) and then offered her a Tiss and a Tuddle.
She was fey, a changeling child, psychic a little. She had an imaginary friend called Bimbo who could change gender at will, sometimes a man, sometimes a woman, sometimes a child. Bimbo was with us for a long time. The name had come from a tape Bob had of some Jim Reeves songs, Lauren loved the song and Bimbo the companion, was born. She was also very accident prone and I had mentioned this to the plastic Surgeon when she had gashed her foot, badly. He poo-pooed me. But I insisted, I told him i had a brother, James who was the accident prone one in a family of 7, he had died at 11. In a tragic accidentThe surgeon said Lauren didn't need plastic surgery on her foot and that I was being silly. But I knew,i just knew.
We were never sure of the actual date of Jamie's death. We had been told as children not to discuss his death as it might upset Mum. So we didn't, And it was like he had never existed. The date of his death would become significant years later. But that story is for another time janette
