Cass Starts Over 2
Without Prejudice
Cass lay there for a few minutes, like a fallen angel in the snow, she stretched her arms over head and wiggled her fingers. The sudden motion creating a feeling of nausea and she raced for the downstairs loo, tucked under the stairs. She only just made it. The smell of Paradise Blossom air freshener trapped in the inside small lavatory making her sick all over again.
" So much for the aspirin " she thought as her head throbbed.
She splashed her face with cold water, dried her hands and wobbling slightly burst into tears. She had wondered when the tears would start. The phone was ringing again and she savagely pulled the jack out of the wall. Damn thing it was.
Cass slowly made her way to the kitchen catching her head on the pull down timber washing line. She sat at the scrubbed pine table ( another of her projects ) and gave way to grief. She sobbed, she ranted, she hit the table with a closed fist. What was she going to do now, she wondered. Who would like her, now. Who would want her at 42 .
A sudden calm came over her.
She washed her burning face at the kitchen sink, enjoying the feel of the cold water and grabbed a glass of it and swallowed it greedily. The water splashing over her chin and down her throat. She once again dried herself and realised that she felt a little better. She couldn't fall apart now.
She toasted some bread, spread it with butter and Marmite and shook out two more aspirin from the bottle. This time she ate first, chewing each mouthful slowly and with care. God, anyone would think she had been drinking and just the thought of alcohol made her stomach clench again. But she calmed herself breathing deeply through her nose.
She was in shock that she knew. She made herself a big mug of English Breakfast tea and sipped slowly, sniffing at its delicious scent. Why did tea smell better than it tasted. She sat there thinking for two hours and emptied two teapots full of tea. She eventually moved to the big industrial size freezer and grabbed out a handful of ice blocks, wrapping them in a tea towel.
She pressed the ice to her face, cheeks, eyes. The throbbing in her head had finally receded but now her eyes felt swollen and hot. She kept up the pressure until she started to feel normal again. Her hands shook ever so slightly but otherwise she felt O.K. She realised wearily she needed to rest, to sleep, to wallow in her own misery. She dragged herself back up the stairs and changed out of her dirty clothes. She must smell like sweat and vomit she thought.
She ran a bath in the upstairs bathroom, wanting the warmth to reach into her bones. She recklessly splashed expensive Oils into the steaming water, might as well spoil herself, no one else was going to she thought in self pity and almost cried again.
The warmth of the bath finally warmed up her cold bones and softened the ache in her back. She lay there until the water cooled and she managed to warm it up again, twice, reaching out with her big toe to turn the hot tap on. Reluctantly she pulled out the plug on it's chain, again with her toe and wrapped herself in warm towels that had been resting on the chrome warm towel hanger.
Feeling almost Queen like now she slowly returned to the bedroom dropping the towels on the floor as she went. She figured she would be the one picking them up so why not indulge herself. She had wrapped her hair in a turban like fashion and on reaching the bedroom shut the door. A full length mirror was attached to the back, ( she had hung it herself ) and gazed dispassionately at her naked frame.
It would do, she thought
She was long in leg, heavy in the bust and short waisted. Pale freckles covered her arms and décolletage. Her bum was a bit too big, but her legs were toned as were her arms. Her nipples were pale even after feeding four kids, that she was glad of. Sylvia had bemoaned to her once hers were almost black after feeding two kids. And had no feeling.
Cass shivered almost in ecstasy as she put of a pair of flannelette pyjamas and felt their comfort. She lay down on the bed, turban on her head still and passed out from crying, the bath and exhaustion. She woke with a start to a dark room. She had no idea what time it was.
Cass lay there for a few minutes, like a fallen angel in the snow, she stretched her arms over head and wiggled her fingers. The sudden motion creating a feeling of nausea and she raced for the downstairs loo, tucked under the stairs. She only just made it. The smell of Paradise Blossom air freshener trapped in the inside small lavatory making her sick all over again.
" So much for the aspirin " she thought as her head throbbed.
She splashed her face with cold water, dried her hands and wobbling slightly burst into tears. She had wondered when the tears would start. The phone was ringing again and she savagely pulled the jack out of the wall. Damn thing it was.
Cass slowly made her way to the kitchen catching her head on the pull down timber washing line. She sat at the scrubbed pine table ( another of her projects ) and gave way to grief. She sobbed, she ranted, she hit the table with a closed fist. What was she going to do now, she wondered. Who would like her, now. Who would want her at 42 .
A sudden calm came over her.
She washed her burning face at the kitchen sink, enjoying the feel of the cold water and grabbed a glass of it and swallowed it greedily. The water splashing over her chin and down her throat. She once again dried herself and realised that she felt a little better. She couldn't fall apart now.
She toasted some bread, spread it with butter and Marmite and shook out two more aspirin from the bottle. This time she ate first, chewing each mouthful slowly and with care. God, anyone would think she had been drinking and just the thought of alcohol made her stomach clench again. But she calmed herself breathing deeply through her nose.
She was in shock that she knew. She made herself a big mug of English Breakfast tea and sipped slowly, sniffing at its delicious scent. Why did tea smell better than it tasted. She sat there thinking for two hours and emptied two teapots full of tea. She eventually moved to the big industrial size freezer and grabbed out a handful of ice blocks, wrapping them in a tea towel.
She pressed the ice to her face, cheeks, eyes. The throbbing in her head had finally receded but now her eyes felt swollen and hot. She kept up the pressure until she started to feel normal again. Her hands shook ever so slightly but otherwise she felt O.K. She realised wearily she needed to rest, to sleep, to wallow in her own misery. She dragged herself back up the stairs and changed out of her dirty clothes. She must smell like sweat and vomit she thought.
She ran a bath in the upstairs bathroom, wanting the warmth to reach into her bones. She recklessly splashed expensive Oils into the steaming water, might as well spoil herself, no one else was going to she thought in self pity and almost cried again.
The warmth of the bath finally warmed up her cold bones and softened the ache in her back. She lay there until the water cooled and she managed to warm it up again, twice, reaching out with her big toe to turn the hot tap on. Reluctantly she pulled out the plug on it's chain, again with her toe and wrapped herself in warm towels that had been resting on the chrome warm towel hanger.
Feeling almost Queen like now she slowly returned to the bedroom dropping the towels on the floor as she went. She figured she would be the one picking them up so why not indulge herself. She had wrapped her hair in a turban like fashion and on reaching the bedroom shut the door. A full length mirror was attached to the back, ( she had hung it herself ) and gazed dispassionately at her naked frame.
It would do, she thought
She was long in leg, heavy in the bust and short waisted. Pale freckles covered her arms and décolletage. Her bum was a bit too big, but her legs were toned as were her arms. Her nipples were pale even after feeding four kids, that she was glad of. Sylvia had bemoaned to her once hers were almost black after feeding two kids. And had no feeling.
Cass shivered almost in ecstasy as she put of a pair of flannelette pyjamas and felt their comfort. She lay down on the bed, turban on her head still and passed out from crying, the bath and exhaustion. She woke with a start to a dark room. She had no idea what time it was.
