Cass Starts Over 4
Without Prejudice
The make over with makeup made Cass feel a little better. She crossed the carpeted floor of the bedroom and closed the door firmly. She would leave all the mess till later. It felt freeing to not have to worry about making it perfect for Patrick. Was she actually free ? She dared not think too far ahead. The children were at her Mother and Fathers in Kent for the first week of the school holidays. She would ring them and ask if they could have them for the second week.
Then they would return to St Swithins boarding school. The twins, Caitlyn and John were in the middle of their final year, Daniel at 16 was in form four and Jenny, the baby in form 2. She missed them with a sudden ache, her heart actually hurt for them, their noisy squabbling, their sweet faces half formed into adulthood. But she needed to " Think "
Padding downstairs in her stocking feet felt also freeing. She gave a little leap on the bottom step on to the tessellated tile floor in the hall. She crossed the reception room and flipped on the television, the Eggheads were beating their opponents as per usual. She was humming again as she entered the kitchen, " Galway Girl " this time.
She opened the pantry and grabbed out rice, onions, tomato paste, a tin of Baxters cream of tomato soup and a stock cube. She hesitated then grabbed a bottle of clean skin white wine. She placed all the ingredients on the marble chopping block and opened the fridge door. Luckily the steak for what would have been tomorrow night's dinner was thawed out. She grabbed sour cream, the steak and fresh mushrooms.
With the ingredients all together now she started chopping the onions, placing butter in the heavy fry pan, keeping her thoughts on the delicious beef strips in tomato cream meal she was making and not on anything else. Even though she needed time to think, she was not about to think of recent events. Eyes firmly on the future she told herself.
She put a pan on for the rice, filled it with boiling water, from the kettle and tossed in a good tablespoon of salt and a small knob of butter. Once the water started to bubble she added the rice. That out of the way, she sliced the steak in to thin strips, tossed them in a little plain flour seasoned with salt and pepper. She threw them into the frying pan, adding then the tin of soup and the tomato paste. The mushrooms went in last, sliced into thin slices, some water and a good cupful if white wine.
The rice was bubbling away as was the beef strip mixture. The smell of wine filled the air as it reduced and she realised how hungry she was. She grabbed out a napkin from the kitchen dresser drawer, a placemat and a knife and fork from Granny Lucy's silver canteen.
" Might as well look after herself from now on " was her thought.
She ate in front of the T.V. And felt like a naughty child. Rebellious. There was no way known Patrick would allow such childish indulgence but he wasn't here and so she ate her meal with relish, it was delicious. She polished off the lot and went back for seconds. Then ate raspberries on top of a bought Tiramisu and feet up on the collectable expensive coffee table replete, she settled back to watch, Coronation Sreet and East Enders.
Patrick would have been horrified preferring an enlightening documentary or nature program.
She couldn't have cared less. She would watch what she wanted to from now on. Period dramas, murder mysteries, chat shows
She had had enough of improving her brain, she would improve other parts of her body instead. She stretched out her toes in a pair of Patricks cashmere socks. Cashmere for him, cotton blend for her three chops for him, two for her.
She felt the future calling and the thought was almost dizzying and terrifying. Where did she go from here ? If she could just get through tomorrow it was the first step. She decided to take it one day at a time, just one day, that couldn't be too hard, could it ? She decided that talking to herself was going to be part of the process.
The make over with makeup made Cass feel a little better. She crossed the carpeted floor of the bedroom and closed the door firmly. She would leave all the mess till later. It felt freeing to not have to worry about making it perfect for Patrick. Was she actually free ? She dared not think too far ahead. The children were at her Mother and Fathers in Kent for the first week of the school holidays. She would ring them and ask if they could have them for the second week.
Then they would return to St Swithins boarding school. The twins, Caitlyn and John were in the middle of their final year, Daniel at 16 was in form four and Jenny, the baby in form 2. She missed them with a sudden ache, her heart actually hurt for them, their noisy squabbling, their sweet faces half formed into adulthood. But she needed to " Think "
Padding downstairs in her stocking feet felt also freeing. She gave a little leap on the bottom step on to the tessellated tile floor in the hall. She crossed the reception room and flipped on the television, the Eggheads were beating their opponents as per usual. She was humming again as she entered the kitchen, " Galway Girl " this time.
She opened the pantry and grabbed out rice, onions, tomato paste, a tin of Baxters cream of tomato soup and a stock cube. She hesitated then grabbed a bottle of clean skin white wine. She placed all the ingredients on the marble chopping block and opened the fridge door. Luckily the steak for what would have been tomorrow night's dinner was thawed out. She grabbed sour cream, the steak and fresh mushrooms.
With the ingredients all together now she started chopping the onions, placing butter in the heavy fry pan, keeping her thoughts on the delicious beef strips in tomato cream meal she was making and not on anything else. Even though she needed time to think, she was not about to think of recent events. Eyes firmly on the future she told herself.
She put a pan on for the rice, filled it with boiling water, from the kettle and tossed in a good tablespoon of salt and a small knob of butter. Once the water started to bubble she added the rice. That out of the way, she sliced the steak in to thin strips, tossed them in a little plain flour seasoned with salt and pepper. She threw them into the frying pan, adding then the tin of soup and the tomato paste. The mushrooms went in last, sliced into thin slices, some water and a good cupful if white wine.
The rice was bubbling away as was the beef strip mixture. The smell of wine filled the air as it reduced and she realised how hungry she was. She grabbed out a napkin from the kitchen dresser drawer, a placemat and a knife and fork from Granny Lucy's silver canteen.
" Might as well look after herself from now on " was her thought.
She ate in front of the T.V. And felt like a naughty child. Rebellious. There was no way known Patrick would allow such childish indulgence but he wasn't here and so she ate her meal with relish, it was delicious. She polished off the lot and went back for seconds. Then ate raspberries on top of a bought Tiramisu and feet up on the collectable expensive coffee table replete, she settled back to watch, Coronation Sreet and East Enders.
Patrick would have been horrified preferring an enlightening documentary or nature program.
She couldn't have cared less. She would watch what she wanted to from now on. Period dramas, murder mysteries, chat shows
She had had enough of improving her brain, she would improve other parts of her body instead. She stretched out her toes in a pair of Patricks cashmere socks. Cashmere for him, cotton blend for her three chops for him, two for her.
She felt the future calling and the thought was almost dizzying and terrifying. Where did she go from here ? If she could just get through tomorrow it was the first step. She decided to take it one day at a time, just one day, that couldn't be too hard, could it ? She decided that talking to herself was going to be part of the process.
