Cass Starts Over 5
Without Prejudice
The next day began with a feeble watery sun but the promise of better weather was in the air. Cass swing her legs out of the now too big King size bed. She had had to place the bolster between her and the right side to finally fall asleep. Nothing as lonely as the marriage bed with just one person in it.
She decided to strip it, she could smell Patrick's after shave on the pillows. Angel by Thierry Mugler and it was too sweet, always had been. She stripped the bed right down to the underlay and remade it in crisp white linen by Charlie Brown, she had always loved the heavy linen with its tiny border of forget me knots.
She spritzed the whole bed in Lavender water, it now smelt more like her and less like him, she decided. She thought of all the things she had to do and quickly stepped into the shower and soaped herself all over. She lingered a little longer than she had first thought as she decided to shave her legs at the same time. Two birds, one stone. She redressed in the black pants and jumper,
" I need new clothes " she thought. Maybe some stretch jeans, new underwear, some ladies cashmere socks.
" Money " was her next thought. She had always been careful with money, even though Patrick earned a good income as a Business Financial Advisor at the bank. He too had been conservative with money and doled out housekeeping to her like a miser. He also went around turning off lights and heaters with almost a ferocious zeal. Snap, snap, snap.
Cass turned on the bathroom fanlight with all of it's bulbs blazing, and the heating button, it felt like a sauna. She had never known such delightful warmth. This strange new singledom had it's own pleasure and indulgences she decided.
She quickly dressed, made up her face and blow dried her hair. A shiver of guilt ran through her and she ignored it. " Guilt was a wasted emotion " she had heard that somewhere. She gathered her hair into a low pony at the neck and added a black bow. Now she looked like every other Sloaney Mum and not some old harridan.
The plugged back in the phone and rang her parents, they were more than happy to have the children for another week. She spoke to the children one by one, they were all fine and mostly preoccupied. She didn't mention Patrick to them, time enough for that later. Better they had a great holiday. She didn't mention it to her parents either, everyone was very used to Patrick being away on business anyway.
"Some Business " she thought, but bit her tongue. No point upsetting everyone at this stage and her parents would only worry. She rang off impatient to be on her way. She forgot about breakfast grabbed a quick coffee and ran out to the garage, she was bursting with impatience for some reason and tripped on the patio almost crashing to her knees. She suddenly remembered the quote Mr McKenzie was supposed to be leaving her.
She glanced at the mailbox, sure enough there was a white envelope sticking out. She grabbed it out and glanced quickly at the estimate. Sounded reasonable and in fact less than what she had thought. She might as well start with her first independent decision. She grabbed her hated mobile out of her bag and dialled the number on the top of the quote.so, he did have a mobile number after all.
She took a deep breath. The rumbling dark voice answered with a peremptory bark,
" Hello "
She made the conversation quick as he sounded busy and they mutually decided on the following Monday to begin works. With that out of the way, Cass rolled open the door to the garage, backed out her Little Fiesta, wheels bumping over the cobblestone driveway, waving to Mr and Mrs Sherman, her elderly next door neighbours. Both deaf as posts now, Mrs Sherman had said once, and wearing nappies nowadays as both were in their eighties.
A bit of an over share Cass had thought at the time and pondered if that was going to be the way she would end up. Deaf, incontinent, a lonely old lady with a cat as Patrick had spat at her once in one of their rows. She looked in the rear view mirror and watched the Shermans for a moment. At least they still held hands when they took their daily walk, probably holding each other up. Shut up she told herself,
" You don't have a cat "
She drove out of the Mews, she loved where she lived. Always had. She had found it, coveted it, decorated it when she was pregnant with the twins, balancing on ladders even in extreme pregnancy painting delicate mouldings and ceiling roses. The house had once been attached to stables, there were two other houses in the Mess, the Shermans and a widow called Mrs Antonia Harris a lady given to wearing sturdy shoes and very British tweeds.
The house had been named RoseLeigh and always made her think of Gone With The Wind's Tara for some reason. She loved the house, the double garage that used to be stables, the crazy paved path that lead up to the mostly unused front door. They all used the mud room entry as it was less ostentatious than the grand front double doors flanked by lion heads that had been there forever.
There was a brass knocker on the front door that Cass could not remember ever having been used in her time there. Everyone came to the glassed in vestibule that jutted out from the mud room and kitchen. Even in winter it seemed to have a warm glow emanating out of it, due mainly to its amber glass tiny square mullioned windows. Cass felt a warm glow whenever she thought about the house.
" God, what if he forced her to sell it ? "
The next day began with a feeble watery sun but the promise of better weather was in the air. Cass swing her legs out of the now too big King size bed. She had had to place the bolster between her and the right side to finally fall asleep. Nothing as lonely as the marriage bed with just one person in it.
She decided to strip it, she could smell Patrick's after shave on the pillows. Angel by Thierry Mugler and it was too sweet, always had been. She stripped the bed right down to the underlay and remade it in crisp white linen by Charlie Brown, she had always loved the heavy linen with its tiny border of forget me knots.
She spritzed the whole bed in Lavender water, it now smelt more like her and less like him, she decided. She thought of all the things she had to do and quickly stepped into the shower and soaped herself all over. She lingered a little longer than she had first thought as she decided to shave her legs at the same time. Two birds, one stone. She redressed in the black pants and jumper,
" I need new clothes " she thought. Maybe some stretch jeans, new underwear, some ladies cashmere socks.
" Money " was her next thought. She had always been careful with money, even though Patrick earned a good income as a Business Financial Advisor at the bank. He too had been conservative with money and doled out housekeeping to her like a miser. He also went around turning off lights and heaters with almost a ferocious zeal. Snap, snap, snap.
Cass turned on the bathroom fanlight with all of it's bulbs blazing, and the heating button, it felt like a sauna. She had never known such delightful warmth. This strange new singledom had it's own pleasure and indulgences she decided.
She quickly dressed, made up her face and blow dried her hair. A shiver of guilt ran through her and she ignored it. " Guilt was a wasted emotion " she had heard that somewhere. She gathered her hair into a low pony at the neck and added a black bow. Now she looked like every other Sloaney Mum and not some old harridan.
The plugged back in the phone and rang her parents, they were more than happy to have the children for another week. She spoke to the children one by one, they were all fine and mostly preoccupied. She didn't mention Patrick to them, time enough for that later. Better they had a great holiday. She didn't mention it to her parents either, everyone was very used to Patrick being away on business anyway.
"Some Business " she thought, but bit her tongue. No point upsetting everyone at this stage and her parents would only worry. She rang off impatient to be on her way. She forgot about breakfast grabbed a quick coffee and ran out to the garage, she was bursting with impatience for some reason and tripped on the patio almost crashing to her knees. She suddenly remembered the quote Mr McKenzie was supposed to be leaving her.
She glanced at the mailbox, sure enough there was a white envelope sticking out. She grabbed it out and glanced quickly at the estimate. Sounded reasonable and in fact less than what she had thought. She might as well start with her first independent decision. She grabbed her hated mobile out of her bag and dialled the number on the top of the quote.so, he did have a mobile number after all.
She took a deep breath. The rumbling dark voice answered with a peremptory bark,
" Hello "
She made the conversation quick as he sounded busy and they mutually decided on the following Monday to begin works. With that out of the way, Cass rolled open the door to the garage, backed out her Little Fiesta, wheels bumping over the cobblestone driveway, waving to Mr and Mrs Sherman, her elderly next door neighbours. Both deaf as posts now, Mrs Sherman had said once, and wearing nappies nowadays as both were in their eighties.
A bit of an over share Cass had thought at the time and pondered if that was going to be the way she would end up. Deaf, incontinent, a lonely old lady with a cat as Patrick had spat at her once in one of their rows. She looked in the rear view mirror and watched the Shermans for a moment. At least they still held hands when they took their daily walk, probably holding each other up. Shut up she told herself,
" You don't have a cat "
She drove out of the Mews, she loved where she lived. Always had. She had found it, coveted it, decorated it when she was pregnant with the twins, balancing on ladders even in extreme pregnancy painting delicate mouldings and ceiling roses. The house had once been attached to stables, there were two other houses in the Mess, the Shermans and a widow called Mrs Antonia Harris a lady given to wearing sturdy shoes and very British tweeds.
The house had been named RoseLeigh and always made her think of Gone With The Wind's Tara for some reason. She loved the house, the double garage that used to be stables, the crazy paved path that lead up to the mostly unused front door. They all used the mud room entry as it was less ostentatious than the grand front double doors flanked by lion heads that had been there forever.
There was a brass knocker on the front door that Cass could not remember ever having been used in her time there. Everyone came to the glassed in vestibule that jutted out from the mud room and kitchen. Even in winter it seemed to have a warm glow emanating out of it, due mainly to its amber glass tiny square mullioned windows. Cass felt a warm glow whenever she thought about the house.
" God, what if he forced her to sell it ? "
