Mother Nature
Without Prejudice
I have had the week from hell thanks to Mother Nature, she can be a frightening bitch when she feels like it. Two weeks ago I shifted some logs, hurt my back and was descended into a land of pain. Mainly a stabbing pain in my right butt cheek. Getting in and out of the car was a tedious process and merited sounds from me, like
" Ow, ow, ow, ow.
I had also not been taking care of myself, ( this happens to me from time to time) and had run out of anti depressants and HRT. I kept whining and whingeing about my back to myself and in 3 days I was having suicidal thoughts.
In terror I rang an ambulance.
I suffer a form of depression that means meds for life. My older sis and I inherited it from our very proper English mother, Natalie. It's a dog of a thing and diesn't bear thinking about most of the time. Natalie had no anti depressants around when she died, suddenly and shockingly at 53 by her own hand.
The pain in my back was part of the suicidal thoughts as pain is so constant and unyielding. I was crying for Australia but had excellent help at the hospital. I was ticked off about not taking care of myself and they arranged a Psychiatrist and a physio.
I was allowed home the same day.
I'm usually pretty good at taking care of myself, but never having a sore back before threw
me into a tailspin. And since I lost 30 kilos I have been struggling with my new body. I don't know it, yet.
So within a few days I had flu, cold sores on my lip and under my nose, thrush, mouth and elsewhere from the Brufen for the back. I was wretched and stopped eating altogether as everything made me feel nauseated. I couldn't sleep, eat, walk nor talk. Still can't as it happens.
I read everything I could on back injury, remedies, natural cures rather than the Meds that make you feel sick. Brufen can be harsh on an empty stomach so I would have to steel myself to eat, somehow. I ate a lot if Premiums crackers washed down with water.
Mentally I was exhausted, done. I share a property with my 2nd oldest daughter. Ever since new boyfriend arrived out of the Big House, she has hidden him in her house. She now admits it as a mistake but that's only because the kids were taken off her by DHS.
Her dilly boyfriend always comes out, wants to marry her, he says and she is so desperate to be married like her two sisters, she defies the law and child protection. And the reason they were involved in the first place was because of dilly boyfriend.
But I have to let her make her own mistakes as she's 40 and should know better. Dilly boyfriend did all he usually does when he gets out, sits and does nothing. She lets him. So it's both their faults that the little boys are missing and are now in care.
They go back to court tomorrow, and he is expected to be there this time. He's 22 and not a brain in his head and vibrates with rage if anyone utters the word "work". Having him here puts us all under threat and sure enough someone dobbed her in and DHS came and took the kids.
I am so angry with her I could spit but am determined not to step in this time. I can't anyway, I'm too tired. She told me straight out she wants him not them and they can go to care the rest of their lives. I know she doesn't mean it but she never ever learns, ever, that they are trying to teach her.
So mentally I cope with her mania/depression. Until today. Yesterday was her birthday and I handed the older boys a present for her through the door and there was dilly boyfriend parked in front of the computer. I just turned around and went back to my place. Ther's an AVO on him, he's not supposed to be here.
Clever little girl, rebellious as ever, (So boring ) that she doesn't see the irony that he's here and not allowed and her kids aged 8, 4, and 2 are not and they are allowed.
The oldest came out with a thank you for the present and
A reassurance that dilly boyfriend was leaving. I couldn't have cared less. I just
Went back to bed and coughed up another lung. Shitful week, I'm glad it's over.
I've decided to move. My unit is demountable and can be moved anywhere in Victoria and does not add to roof line quota because it's moveable. I'll find a kind soul in the country and move with just cows, sheep as my companions. Write all the time and be in bliss. I been a single mum for 24 years. They all ok, I'm proud of them, but me and Mother Nature have had enough.
xxx
I have had the week from hell thanks to Mother Nature, she can be a frightening bitch when she feels like it. Two weeks ago I shifted some logs, hurt my back and was descended into a land of pain. Mainly a stabbing pain in my right butt cheek. Getting in and out of the car was a tedious process and merited sounds from me, like
" Ow, ow, ow, ow.
I had also not been taking care of myself, ( this happens to me from time to time) and had run out of anti depressants and HRT. I kept whining and whingeing about my back to myself and in 3 days I was having suicidal thoughts.
In terror I rang an ambulance.
I suffer a form of depression that means meds for life. My older sis and I inherited it from our very proper English mother, Natalie. It's a dog of a thing and diesn't bear thinking about most of the time. Natalie had no anti depressants around when she died, suddenly and shockingly at 53 by her own hand.
The pain in my back was part of the suicidal thoughts as pain is so constant and unyielding. I was crying for Australia but had excellent help at the hospital. I was ticked off about not taking care of myself and they arranged a Psychiatrist and a physio.
I was allowed home the same day.
I'm usually pretty good at taking care of myself, but never having a sore back before threw
me into a tailspin. And since I lost 30 kilos I have been struggling with my new body. I don't know it, yet.
So within a few days I had flu, cold sores on my lip and under my nose, thrush, mouth and elsewhere from the Brufen for the back. I was wretched and stopped eating altogether as everything made me feel nauseated. I couldn't sleep, eat, walk nor talk. Still can't as it happens.
I read everything I could on back injury, remedies, natural cures rather than the Meds that make you feel sick. Brufen can be harsh on an empty stomach so I would have to steel myself to eat, somehow. I ate a lot if Premiums crackers washed down with water.
Mentally I was exhausted, done. I share a property with my 2nd oldest daughter. Ever since new boyfriend arrived out of the Big House, she has hidden him in her house. She now admits it as a mistake but that's only because the kids were taken off her by DHS.
Her dilly boyfriend always comes out, wants to marry her, he says and she is so desperate to be married like her two sisters, she defies the law and child protection. And the reason they were involved in the first place was because of dilly boyfriend.
But I have to let her make her own mistakes as she's 40 and should know better. Dilly boyfriend did all he usually does when he gets out, sits and does nothing. She lets him. So it's both their faults that the little boys are missing and are now in care.
They go back to court tomorrow, and he is expected to be there this time. He's 22 and not a brain in his head and vibrates with rage if anyone utters the word "work". Having him here puts us all under threat and sure enough someone dobbed her in and DHS came and took the kids.
I am so angry with her I could spit but am determined not to step in this time. I can't anyway, I'm too tired. She told me straight out she wants him not them and they can go to care the rest of their lives. I know she doesn't mean it but she never ever learns, ever, that they are trying to teach her.
So mentally I cope with her mania/depression. Until today. Yesterday was her birthday and I handed the older boys a present for her through the door and there was dilly boyfriend parked in front of the computer. I just turned around and went back to my place. Ther's an AVO on him, he's not supposed to be here.
Clever little girl, rebellious as ever, (So boring ) that she doesn't see the irony that he's here and not allowed and her kids aged 8, 4, and 2 are not and they are allowed.
The oldest came out with a thank you for the present and
A reassurance that dilly boyfriend was leaving. I couldn't have cared less. I just
Went back to bed and coughed up another lung. Shitful week, I'm glad it's over.
I've decided to move. My unit is demountable and can be moved anywhere in Victoria and does not add to roof line quota because it's moveable. I'll find a kind soul in the country and move with just cows, sheep as my companions. Write all the time and be in bliss. I been a single mum for 24 years. They all ok, I'm proud of them, but me and Mother Nature have had enough.
xxx
