Off The Grid
Without Prejudice
In the last few weeks I have been off the grid. No Google access.
I wanted to blame the Internet, wrangled with my IPad, took it to the computer expert who to my shock had disappeared. I felt like I was just there a week or two before but the lady in the shop next door said it had closed two months ago, or longer.
Somehow I was convinced that if I was patient the IPad would magically fix itself.
It didn't.
There is always plenty more to do in this the house of seven dwarves so I wasn't bothered too much. Zach moved back home into the big house with his girlfriend, Danni, (her pregnant belly), his brother Jai and two cats.
He needed storage for his prized car ( Danni's car ) his Excel and a myriad of boxes and bags.
We dragged all the " crap", ( his words, not mine ) out of the back yard and put it all on the nature strip. Within 12 hours someone had dobbed us in and the next thing Casey Council were round, photographing it and wrapping it in yellow tape. The tape had written on it, " Under Investigation By Casey Council ".
So we dragged it all back behind the gates. Zach was royally peed off as he had paid his friends for helping to haul it all out and there was much gnashing of teeth, sweat and swearing. That was mainly by me who did both the hauling out and the hauling it in. Filthy job.
It was hot then and everything seems double the effort when the temperature flies up into the thirties.
I had seen the car marked Casey Council parked across the road, young hefty red headed girl running over, camera pointed. Meanwhile there are two piles of " crap " round the corner that have been there for months.
We received the photos and a stern letter from Casey Council a day or two later.
We might get fined three thousand dollars said the official kerb collector man in the tersely worded missive.
" What rubbish " we asked, as it had been out for exactly 12 hours in public view and now lay piled up behind the gate.
So Yvette, my daughter, hired a skip, urged on by Zach. 600 bucks and five days later it was gone. A few tonnes of mainly crud. Jai and Zach and the unpaid ( this time ) volunteers had a ball with hammers, baseball bats, mallets and an old crow bar breaking it all up on the front lawn.
They are nothing if not enthusiastic.
I thought of those Casey Council workers back in the office when they received that dobbing phone call. Must have made their day. Yvette said the signee of the letter probably got a hard on at the thought of so much illegal rubbish. I told her that was not a mental picture I needed.
When I first came to live at the back of the " Big House", five years ago, the first hard rubbish clean up was thirty feet long and eight feet high and filled the entire nature strip from one end to the other.
I did it all by myself while the boys and Yvette hid inside, terrified I would ask them to help.
At that time there were four bedrooms of stuff.( Yvette tends to be a bit of a hoarder) and there were sorts of paths into each room that the boys could gain access to like rabbits in a warren.
To declutter I would have to wait until Yvette was out, rush in from my unit out the back and throw items out and scurry back when she arrived back home. It was not a fun time.
But five years ago the Council Truck took the lot. These days it's a measly 3 metre by 3 metre they allow you and that is not a lot of rubbish for a two dwelling family. Of nine individuals.
I have tried in the past sharing the same roof space as Yvette. Doesn't work. Too noisy, too overheated, too much.
My Sister, a nurse, said three generations can share a house as long as there is a " door" . I don't just have a "door" I have a whole unit. 8 metre by 5, kitchen, lounge, separate bedroom, big ensuite.
I love my wee dwelling. It's perfect.
My favourite book as a child was Wind In The Willows and my favourite character as an adult is Kinsey Millhone, a character in the Alphabet Crime Mysteries by Sue Grafton. Both books that have characters living in small spaces. The underground warrens of Wind In The Willows and Kinsey's tint above garage apartment. Perfection in miniature.
After the rubbish was gone, I turned my attention to the IPad. I was determined to find out what was wrong with it. I couldn't load photos to Facebook, couldn't open emails, view photos or videos. Every single photo came up as a question mark.
I am nothing if not determined and hours later and mainly by changing every setting I could find, I had Google back. I was back on the grid. Connected back into the world.
When asked later by Yvette how I did it I answered
" No Idea "
In the last few weeks I have been off the grid. No Google access.
I wanted to blame the Internet, wrangled with my IPad, took it to the computer expert who to my shock had disappeared. I felt like I was just there a week or two before but the lady in the shop next door said it had closed two months ago, or longer.
Somehow I was convinced that if I was patient the IPad would magically fix itself.
It didn't.
There is always plenty more to do in this the house of seven dwarves so I wasn't bothered too much. Zach moved back home into the big house with his girlfriend, Danni, (her pregnant belly), his brother Jai and two cats.
He needed storage for his prized car ( Danni's car ) his Excel and a myriad of boxes and bags.
We dragged all the " crap", ( his words, not mine ) out of the back yard and put it all on the nature strip. Within 12 hours someone had dobbed us in and the next thing Casey Council were round, photographing it and wrapping it in yellow tape. The tape had written on it, " Under Investigation By Casey Council ".
So we dragged it all back behind the gates. Zach was royally peed off as he had paid his friends for helping to haul it all out and there was much gnashing of teeth, sweat and swearing. That was mainly by me who did both the hauling out and the hauling it in. Filthy job.
It was hot then and everything seems double the effort when the temperature flies up into the thirties.
I had seen the car marked Casey Council parked across the road, young hefty red headed girl running over, camera pointed. Meanwhile there are two piles of " crap " round the corner that have been there for months.
We received the photos and a stern letter from Casey Council a day or two later.
We might get fined three thousand dollars said the official kerb collector man in the tersely worded missive.
" What rubbish " we asked, as it had been out for exactly 12 hours in public view and now lay piled up behind the gate.
So Yvette, my daughter, hired a skip, urged on by Zach. 600 bucks and five days later it was gone. A few tonnes of mainly crud. Jai and Zach and the unpaid ( this time ) volunteers had a ball with hammers, baseball bats, mallets and an old crow bar breaking it all up on the front lawn.
They are nothing if not enthusiastic.
I thought of those Casey Council workers back in the office when they received that dobbing phone call. Must have made their day. Yvette said the signee of the letter probably got a hard on at the thought of so much illegal rubbish. I told her that was not a mental picture I needed.
When I first came to live at the back of the " Big House", five years ago, the first hard rubbish clean up was thirty feet long and eight feet high and filled the entire nature strip from one end to the other.
I did it all by myself while the boys and Yvette hid inside, terrified I would ask them to help.
At that time there were four bedrooms of stuff.( Yvette tends to be a bit of a hoarder) and there were sorts of paths into each room that the boys could gain access to like rabbits in a warren.
To declutter I would have to wait until Yvette was out, rush in from my unit out the back and throw items out and scurry back when she arrived back home. It was not a fun time.
But five years ago the Council Truck took the lot. These days it's a measly 3 metre by 3 metre they allow you and that is not a lot of rubbish for a two dwelling family. Of nine individuals.
I have tried in the past sharing the same roof space as Yvette. Doesn't work. Too noisy, too overheated, too much.
My Sister, a nurse, said three generations can share a house as long as there is a " door" . I don't just have a "door" I have a whole unit. 8 metre by 5, kitchen, lounge, separate bedroom, big ensuite.
I love my wee dwelling. It's perfect.
My favourite book as a child was Wind In The Willows and my favourite character as an adult is Kinsey Millhone, a character in the Alphabet Crime Mysteries by Sue Grafton. Both books that have characters living in small spaces. The underground warrens of Wind In The Willows and Kinsey's tint above garage apartment. Perfection in miniature.
After the rubbish was gone, I turned my attention to the IPad. I was determined to find out what was wrong with it. I couldn't load photos to Facebook, couldn't open emails, view photos or videos. Every single photo came up as a question mark.
I am nothing if not determined and hours later and mainly by changing every setting I could find, I had Google back. I was back on the grid. Connected back into the world.
When asked later by Yvette how I did it I answered
" No Idea "
