Hogmanay
Without Prejudice
I'm a Scot, being born in Edinburgh and for a Scot Hogmanay is a big deal. the New Year and no one celebrates it like the Scots and they have their own name for it. Hogmanay. I remember it as the only time ny Dad would drink alcohol, a neat whisky, no water back, no ice. Good whisky must be warmish and neat.
I came to Ausralia when i was 2 and then I became an Australian by proxy of my parents and I can have both passports as I married and had children to an Australian. My parents were so keen for their kids to become Australian but we were never allowed to forget our Scottish and British heritage.
Mum and Dad were proud to have come from there and proud to have served in World War 2. They told us the stories of bravery, Robert The Bruce and how he saw the Spider and went back to the fray. I was born around the corner from Robert Louis Stevenson.
We were to read books on religion and knowledge, learn of heroism, wars, fights, brave deeds and warned every day to "Never Give Up", "Never"
MY parents were fantastic like that.
They taught their children well. They told us of the speeches of Winston Churchill,
"We will fight them on the beaches..... fight in our very backyards with brooms if they had to and the indominatable spirit of the British through World War 2 was people working as one.
And we brave little soldiers went out into the world to do our parents proud. That was our mission to make them proud. Pride number one, in ourselves in our deeds, pride such a strong word to a Scot, Pride and Freedom.
I had visions of Scottish soldiers running down mountains in their kilts, faces painted blue with woad, no braver warrior, freedom the call, precious Freedom. And fierce pride that endured all manner of hardships and did not "Give Up, ever, "
We were Bruckshaws and proud to be so and we honoured our heritage in though and deed as much as we could, being just kids.
We were snotted plenty for our ways, but we didn't give in to bullies and yes we were different, but so what ? lots of people are different and prejudiced against, that's simple human nature, Its up to the individual to be accepted, be curious about others, congratulate others and after a while they accept you.
And if they don't, it's not your problem. We were all lucky to have a great Mum and Dad, who were not perfect, but had a common goal, their children. We were wonderful to them, no matter what we did and they were also very strict, another bonus.
When I was a little girl speaking at the table was not allowed. You had to ask for permission to leave the table. And were expected then to help, clear away, dishes, wipe benches, sweep floors. Then we could relax and do what we wanted. There was no TV in Port Augusta when I was a kid, just the radio and books and playing outdoors.
On school holidays Mum would lock us out of the house, a jam sandwich in hand and a tap in the front garden to drink from and the water ran at first brackish and brown and hot. Then it would cool down and our only wet entertainment was an old round orange iron sprinkler which we would run through, shrieking.
The grass was always full of bindii and we never ever wore shoes and our soles miraculously toughened up. I can remember a photo of me at that time, red speedos, fair hair, a little swimmer, me freckled faced and squinting in to the camers, A tiny skinny little fierce scrap of a thing with a soft nature and a big heart.
Cripplingly shy, I was never aggressive, quite the opposite, but if I didn't want to do something I would not do it, no matter what. Stubborn as a mule and often to my detriment, And with a fantastically high IQ, which I hid all the better to get back at my siblings.
Intensely competitive like most middle children and when I had had enoughh of people I would make a space to be by myself. A large brain needs rest and relaxation I read the other day as it is always trying to improve itself, solve an insolveable problem.
It can see problems down the track before other people can and logically forms a conclusion but can be painful as others are ten jumps behind and think you are a show off. I would like a dollar for everytime some one says to me,
"You can't have read that, know that, you're cheating!"
It's not cheating, I read fast have a very high IQ as do several of my siblings, Ian being genius level, and a good memory, it's simple. They call me the Oprah of the South East Suburbs, and an " I know" and a pain in the arse when I am right.
its never stopped me from being popular as I genuinely like people and want them all to do well.
I haven't hated too many people, just usually thinking well you have your opinion, I have mine and I'll just move over here and you can stay there. I've had my face slapped, been punched full on in the face with a fist by a man and the 2nd one I saw coming.
I've lost a child,Mother and Father, one brother and yet I still prevail. I get knocked down and get back up again, time and time again.
Crawling to knees first, humbled by life, and then standing straight up. I have to do it, I have to show my daughters and grandchildren I am not a quitter, that I am a fighter and if I can do it, so can they.
I expect the best of my girls and they know it and it shits them at times, my search for happiness and perfection and truth. its the only way my brain can think. And sure it's been mistake and mistake and crying and exhaustion, I've crawled under houses to pull sick kids out of druggie "Rat Holes".
I've helped other kids that I never ever thought would come good. Enormous problems. Financial ones, physical. You name it I've had it. And dealt with it or crawled up in a foetal position and pulled the blankets over my head for the day.
I no longer try to solve the unsolvable but just leave people to come to me when they are ready. hate and abhor violence for many good reasons and loud voices, strident with their view. I forgive people and move on.
I'm sure if they are meant to be in my life, they will be. And they always have.
I hate stupidity and slack losers as well that want to take the world for a ride that suits only them.
I ban them from my life or ignore them and have also been known to belt them as well and although I'm not proud of it was something that was necessary at the time.
I have learned to let go of ego and perfectionism and let life just "be", sometimes. Spending time with little kids is always a bonus, a miracle, a joy. A job I will always be wanting to do, as they have the power to be something wonderful in the World.
And I want them to be. I want them to be happy with themselves and from that feeling come good decisions, for future generations. Love will always prevail and the essentail goodness of people.
I cried when Anna Bligh said,
"we are Queenslanders" with such emotion and pride.
I thought of all those people devastated by the floods who stood up, unbowed by the terrible condition and helped complete strangers or neighbours, the esssential goodness of people prevailing over tragedy.
And then the Gippsland floods, so close to home. The volcanic ash closing down flights all over the world. Osama Bin Laden being found and shot. And Saddam Hussein, saying
"Don't shoot"
Every death of every soldier at war leaving behind a family, devastated. I shuddered at each one and didn't want to know the name as it could be someone I love.
And knowing that they were trained to be there, wanted to be there but I still worried till they were safely home. A war zone no good for anyone.
Half way throught the year I stopped watching the news as it was so depressing. And went to Camp Eden, on the flight there crying terrified as we were one of the first flights allowed out during the Volcanic Ash incident and I was convinced the plane was going down.
It didn't and Camp Eden did me good. It forced me to take stock of my life, what was working, what wasn't. Who or what had I wanted to be at 5 and 10 and 15 and 20.
Had I reached it, Had I done what the little Janette had wanted before "Real life" came along? I had to take risks and open myself up to myself and from yourself there is no escape. You are always with you and would you be a person that you would want to hang out with ???
Are you fun, interesting, caring, essentially good, admit to your mistakes, your failures??? What do you want for the rest of your life ?? Have you hurt people ? Not been as good as you can, the self examination was hard.
And my brothers told me to write as did Lauren many years ago and my Mum and Dad and Jamie. So I started the writing, funny stories at first and then dark and then light again. It just flowed the way it was meant to. Exorcising and healing past hurts, past frustrations, past rage.
So I am at the beginning of another Hogmanay and I would wish everyone, peace, love, friendship and a life well lived. Don't worry Be Happy !
Love Janette
I'm a Scot, being born in Edinburgh and for a Scot Hogmanay is a big deal. the New Year and no one celebrates it like the Scots and they have their own name for it. Hogmanay. I remember it as the only time ny Dad would drink alcohol, a neat whisky, no water back, no ice. Good whisky must be warmish and neat.
I came to Ausralia when i was 2 and then I became an Australian by proxy of my parents and I can have both passports as I married and had children to an Australian. My parents were so keen for their kids to become Australian but we were never allowed to forget our Scottish and British heritage.
Mum and Dad were proud to have come from there and proud to have served in World War 2. They told us the stories of bravery, Robert The Bruce and how he saw the Spider and went back to the fray. I was born around the corner from Robert Louis Stevenson.
We were to read books on religion and knowledge, learn of heroism, wars, fights, brave deeds and warned every day to "Never Give Up", "Never"
MY parents were fantastic like that.
They taught their children well. They told us of the speeches of Winston Churchill,
"We will fight them on the beaches..... fight in our very backyards with brooms if they had to and the indominatable spirit of the British through World War 2 was people working as one.
And we brave little soldiers went out into the world to do our parents proud. That was our mission to make them proud. Pride number one, in ourselves in our deeds, pride such a strong word to a Scot, Pride and Freedom.
I had visions of Scottish soldiers running down mountains in their kilts, faces painted blue with woad, no braver warrior, freedom the call, precious Freedom. And fierce pride that endured all manner of hardships and did not "Give Up, ever, "
We were Bruckshaws and proud to be so and we honoured our heritage in though and deed as much as we could, being just kids.
We were snotted plenty for our ways, but we didn't give in to bullies and yes we were different, but so what ? lots of people are different and prejudiced against, that's simple human nature, Its up to the individual to be accepted, be curious about others, congratulate others and after a while they accept you.
And if they don't, it's not your problem. We were all lucky to have a great Mum and Dad, who were not perfect, but had a common goal, their children. We were wonderful to them, no matter what we did and they were also very strict, another bonus.
When I was a little girl speaking at the table was not allowed. You had to ask for permission to leave the table. And were expected then to help, clear away, dishes, wipe benches, sweep floors. Then we could relax and do what we wanted. There was no TV in Port Augusta when I was a kid, just the radio and books and playing outdoors.
On school holidays Mum would lock us out of the house, a jam sandwich in hand and a tap in the front garden to drink from and the water ran at first brackish and brown and hot. Then it would cool down and our only wet entertainment was an old round orange iron sprinkler which we would run through, shrieking.
The grass was always full of bindii and we never ever wore shoes and our soles miraculously toughened up. I can remember a photo of me at that time, red speedos, fair hair, a little swimmer, me freckled faced and squinting in to the camers, A tiny skinny little fierce scrap of a thing with a soft nature and a big heart.
Cripplingly shy, I was never aggressive, quite the opposite, but if I didn't want to do something I would not do it, no matter what. Stubborn as a mule and often to my detriment, And with a fantastically high IQ, which I hid all the better to get back at my siblings.
Intensely competitive like most middle children and when I had had enoughh of people I would make a space to be by myself. A large brain needs rest and relaxation I read the other day as it is always trying to improve itself, solve an insolveable problem.
It can see problems down the track before other people can and logically forms a conclusion but can be painful as others are ten jumps behind and think you are a show off. I would like a dollar for everytime some one says to me,
"You can't have read that, know that, you're cheating!"
It's not cheating, I read fast have a very high IQ as do several of my siblings, Ian being genius level, and a good memory, it's simple. They call me the Oprah of the South East Suburbs, and an " I know" and a pain in the arse when I am right.
its never stopped me from being popular as I genuinely like people and want them all to do well.
I haven't hated too many people, just usually thinking well you have your opinion, I have mine and I'll just move over here and you can stay there. I've had my face slapped, been punched full on in the face with a fist by a man and the 2nd one I saw coming.
I've lost a child,Mother and Father, one brother and yet I still prevail. I get knocked down and get back up again, time and time again.
Crawling to knees first, humbled by life, and then standing straight up. I have to do it, I have to show my daughters and grandchildren I am not a quitter, that I am a fighter and if I can do it, so can they.
I expect the best of my girls and they know it and it shits them at times, my search for happiness and perfection and truth. its the only way my brain can think. And sure it's been mistake and mistake and crying and exhaustion, I've crawled under houses to pull sick kids out of druggie "Rat Holes".
I've helped other kids that I never ever thought would come good. Enormous problems. Financial ones, physical. You name it I've had it. And dealt with it or crawled up in a foetal position and pulled the blankets over my head for the day.
I no longer try to solve the unsolvable but just leave people to come to me when they are ready. hate and abhor violence for many good reasons and loud voices, strident with their view. I forgive people and move on.
I'm sure if they are meant to be in my life, they will be. And they always have.
I hate stupidity and slack losers as well that want to take the world for a ride that suits only them.
I ban them from my life or ignore them and have also been known to belt them as well and although I'm not proud of it was something that was necessary at the time.
I have learned to let go of ego and perfectionism and let life just "be", sometimes. Spending time with little kids is always a bonus, a miracle, a joy. A job I will always be wanting to do, as they have the power to be something wonderful in the World.
And I want them to be. I want them to be happy with themselves and from that feeling come good decisions, for future generations. Love will always prevail and the essentail goodness of people.
I cried when Anna Bligh said,
"we are Queenslanders" with such emotion and pride.
I thought of all those people devastated by the floods who stood up, unbowed by the terrible condition and helped complete strangers or neighbours, the esssential goodness of people prevailing over tragedy.
And then the Gippsland floods, so close to home. The volcanic ash closing down flights all over the world. Osama Bin Laden being found and shot. And Saddam Hussein, saying
"Don't shoot"
Every death of every soldier at war leaving behind a family, devastated. I shuddered at each one and didn't want to know the name as it could be someone I love.
And knowing that they were trained to be there, wanted to be there but I still worried till they were safely home. A war zone no good for anyone.
Half way throught the year I stopped watching the news as it was so depressing. And went to Camp Eden, on the flight there crying terrified as we were one of the first flights allowed out during the Volcanic Ash incident and I was convinced the plane was going down.
It didn't and Camp Eden did me good. It forced me to take stock of my life, what was working, what wasn't. Who or what had I wanted to be at 5 and 10 and 15 and 20.
Had I reached it, Had I done what the little Janette had wanted before "Real life" came along? I had to take risks and open myself up to myself and from yourself there is no escape. You are always with you and would you be a person that you would want to hang out with ???
Are you fun, interesting, caring, essentially good, admit to your mistakes, your failures??? What do you want for the rest of your life ?? Have you hurt people ? Not been as good as you can, the self examination was hard.
And my brothers told me to write as did Lauren many years ago and my Mum and Dad and Jamie. So I started the writing, funny stories at first and then dark and then light again. It just flowed the way it was meant to. Exorcising and healing past hurts, past frustrations, past rage.
So I am at the beginning of another Hogmanay and I would wish everyone, peace, love, friendship and a life well lived. Don't worry Be Happy !
Love Janette
