The Five Little Ladies
Without prejudice
Bob discovered years ago, that the girls names spelt out the word, L.A.D.Y. Lauren, Alena,Debbie and Yvette., years after we had named them . I chose Deborah and Lauren, Bob chose Yvette and Alena. Yvette from a movie we watched five days before she was born, Yvette Mimeux, the actress. Alena he poached from an English Playboy, a blonde buxom lass, who he liked, who was from Czechoslovakia.
Deborah was via TREX and a friend I had known and liked. And Lauren, named after she was born, who decided herself when I first saw her and the name came unbidden from my memory bank. Perhaps for Lauren Bacall who I much admired as an actress and a person, so strong after Bogie died.
So thats how we arrived at the names and Bob went on to call his Tattslotto ticket 5 little LADY or including me with no initial, Ladies. And then we were all little ladies, and then the girls began to grow and grow, Debbie matching him in height almost, tall for a woman.
It's hard to talk of the person I was then because I felt weak, even thinking of it now, makes me feel nauseated and sick. I was a battered wife and I always thought I caused it in some way, that if the house were cleaner or the kids were better behaved. But nothing worked, we spent our lives anticipating his next need and none of it worked.
We still have the scars of those years but I realised after Lauren died Bob was going nowhere I wanted to go so I just dug in my heels and refused to budge. I got on with the aftermath of Lauren's death and let him rant and rave as much as he wanted. He never hit me after that, sensing in me a dangerous quality that was not about to be vanquished.
I gazed at him impassively the day I asked him to "Just Leave", He had rushed to get his 3 page list he kept on what we did wrong to him, and hesitated. Then I just looked at him, the look that said it all. I hate you, in fact what are you doing here??
"I don't even like you, and what does that make me?, lower then low for putting up with your bullying behaviour??". I was sickened then and I am sickened, now, but more admiring of my strength.
He went away, to the Factory to live, and I was glad. I didn't know how I was going to get through the next day or week or month or year, but I decided to take it one day at a time, sometimes, one hour at a time.
We were tied up together financially and that had to be sorted out. I refused to go back to the factory, Debbie went instead. She was sued by a friend about then, Sam P. canceling a holiday to Surfers Paradise, that was due to take place 3 weeks after Lauren died, Deb had just had a fight with a friend, Grace, who was best friends with the girl, Sam P,who still insisted Debbie take the trip.
And when Debbie refused to go, Sam P sued her and bankrupted Debbie. Sam P was going out with a Solicitor boyfriend, and decided to take the whole thing to the next level, running down the street, apparently to file the papers on time. It was a month after Lauren died. I can never understand people who behave like that at such a dreadful time for a family. But she did. And there was no explanation for it.
Bob's behaviour was also really terrible, hating us and screaming abuse at me over the phone,
I was, a murderer, I murdered Lauren. I let her go, I let her go and it was my fault. I shouldn't have let her go to Tanya's. Even though she had been before for a sleepover, even though we both trusted Lauren to do as we said. I
I knew he didn't mean it, he was just reaching out with control and we were not controllable any more. I started work then for a Gas Firm and loved it. It was not home with it's lonely emptiness, it was a place full of life and energy and work, the great distractor, and money coming in at long last. I fell in love with the place and then from part time I was made full time and it was good. Until I accidentally started going out with one of the drivers, also a Bob.
I accidentally went out with him as he was single and I wanted to introduce him to a friend of mine, Graziella. We were all at the Village Green for an over 28's night. Lots of drinks and dancing then he pulled me aside to say he wasn't interested in my friend, he was interested in me. I looked at him with shock, not fancying him at all.
He was too black, black hair, black eyes, not for me. But we gave him a lift to his fabulous house in Rowville, neat as a pin, something vast and luxurious and he made a move and I resisted. Graziella and I went home.
And then he rang me at home a few weeks later and came over. the girls were very excited and he arrived, neat jeans, cowboy boots, highly polished and leather jacket, he looked different, somehow and he met the girls and was relaxed and comfortable around kids of which he had a few.
He was so funny and self deprecating and amused at everything we had to say. So we went out together to the Waltzing Matilda and had an absolute ball. Dancing like loons and drinking and making complete arses out of ourselves. We went home, this would have been 5 months after Bob and I separated and he stayed.
Big big mistake but it was innocent and lovely for me, beacuse my husband Bob had not wanted me for years. Said so, acted so, but when I had moved on, he hadn't, and went apeshit. The girls impressed by the new Bob told my husband Bob I was seeing someone and he had a fabulous showroom car.
Bob never said a word. Later in a few weeks we went To Bob R's house, he kissed Kyle, the baby when we walked in. He was half Italian, not that you could tell, but he had immaculate manners and greeted the girls like long lost friends, making them welcome and offering food and drinks.
We had Debbie's car and she hadn't come with us, preferring to go out with friends, she was more withdrawn about me having another man in my life. So we sat and we taped Hey Hey It;s Saturday as the girls had been there in the audience. We discussed Collingwood mainly as he was an avid, rabid fan.
Big posters of the team surrounding us on the pristine walls, I have never met a man as organised or neat, he was like a machine, smooth, untroubled and calm. He glided rather than walked, loved kids, his especially, and any others that happened along. I had first noticed him at work because of his beautiful handwriting, it was studied and curled, strong and individualistic, like the man really.
And when he came in or I bumped into him he would always mock me. gently and at first I thought the man was a horror, with his sharp wit and his disparagement of women, having recently gone through a divorce, his first, his first wife had died.
Men can get really savage about money during a divorce and he was always complaining about the money, the money.I did the pays as well and noticed he put in the most hours as a night shift driver, causing jealousy with the other tanker drivers, he referred to them as, "The Mothers Club.
We had a great night with Bob R, not knowing what was awaiting us outside, safe as we were inside and laughing at his jokes. We had taped the show and he handed us a copy as we were about to leave. he had stuffed us full of chips and nibblies, salamis and cheeses and his "Special Chicken ", chicken cooked in the oven with special toppings, plump, moist and delicious. I said I loved it and true to form he would make if for me every time I went there.
We went outside to climb in the car and something was wrong. The car was decorated with black paint, light rain drizzling down obscured our vision at first, and then we couldn't understand what we were looking at. it didn't make sense. Words like Bush Pig, Slut, Whore, were written all over the car. In black paint, so while we were inside someone was out here doing this to the car.
We looked around for older teenage kids, but there were none. We all just assumed some teenagers had come across the white Car and decided to give it a spray, except for Bob R
he pulled me to him with a decisive swoop and whispered in my ear, so that the girls couldn't hear.
"You don't think your ex husband had anything to do with this, do you?
I was shocked, literally stunned. my ex husband wouldn't do this, not to his Daughter's car, it was insane to even think it. Bob R left me with that thought and we drove home, glad it was late at night and fretted how we would get the paint off before Debbie got home. We wheeled it into the garage, paranoidly closing the roll a door and set to with sponges and soap and eventually were able to get it all off but it took ages and our arms were tired by the time we finished, just before Debbie arrived home.
To be Continued
Bob discovered years ago, that the girls names spelt out the word, L.A.D.Y. Lauren, Alena,Debbie and Yvette., years after we had named them . I chose Deborah and Lauren, Bob chose Yvette and Alena. Yvette from a movie we watched five days before she was born, Yvette Mimeux, the actress. Alena he poached from an English Playboy, a blonde buxom lass, who he liked, who was from Czechoslovakia.
Deborah was via TREX and a friend I had known and liked. And Lauren, named after she was born, who decided herself when I first saw her and the name came unbidden from my memory bank. Perhaps for Lauren Bacall who I much admired as an actress and a person, so strong after Bogie died.
So thats how we arrived at the names and Bob went on to call his Tattslotto ticket 5 little LADY or including me with no initial, Ladies. And then we were all little ladies, and then the girls began to grow and grow, Debbie matching him in height almost, tall for a woman.
It's hard to talk of the person I was then because I felt weak, even thinking of it now, makes me feel nauseated and sick. I was a battered wife and I always thought I caused it in some way, that if the house were cleaner or the kids were better behaved. But nothing worked, we spent our lives anticipating his next need and none of it worked.
We still have the scars of those years but I realised after Lauren died Bob was going nowhere I wanted to go so I just dug in my heels and refused to budge. I got on with the aftermath of Lauren's death and let him rant and rave as much as he wanted. He never hit me after that, sensing in me a dangerous quality that was not about to be vanquished.
I gazed at him impassively the day I asked him to "Just Leave", He had rushed to get his 3 page list he kept on what we did wrong to him, and hesitated. Then I just looked at him, the look that said it all. I hate you, in fact what are you doing here??
"I don't even like you, and what does that make me?, lower then low for putting up with your bullying behaviour??". I was sickened then and I am sickened, now, but more admiring of my strength.
He went away, to the Factory to live, and I was glad. I didn't know how I was going to get through the next day or week or month or year, but I decided to take it one day at a time, sometimes, one hour at a time.
We were tied up together financially and that had to be sorted out. I refused to go back to the factory, Debbie went instead. She was sued by a friend about then, Sam P. canceling a holiday to Surfers Paradise, that was due to take place 3 weeks after Lauren died, Deb had just had a fight with a friend, Grace, who was best friends with the girl, Sam P,who still insisted Debbie take the trip.
And when Debbie refused to go, Sam P sued her and bankrupted Debbie. Sam P was going out with a Solicitor boyfriend, and decided to take the whole thing to the next level, running down the street, apparently to file the papers on time. It was a month after Lauren died. I can never understand people who behave like that at such a dreadful time for a family. But she did. And there was no explanation for it.
Bob's behaviour was also really terrible, hating us and screaming abuse at me over the phone,
I was, a murderer, I murdered Lauren. I let her go, I let her go and it was my fault. I shouldn't have let her go to Tanya's. Even though she had been before for a sleepover, even though we both trusted Lauren to do as we said. I
I knew he didn't mean it, he was just reaching out with control and we were not controllable any more. I started work then for a Gas Firm and loved it. It was not home with it's lonely emptiness, it was a place full of life and energy and work, the great distractor, and money coming in at long last. I fell in love with the place and then from part time I was made full time and it was good. Until I accidentally started going out with one of the drivers, also a Bob.
I accidentally went out with him as he was single and I wanted to introduce him to a friend of mine, Graziella. We were all at the Village Green for an over 28's night. Lots of drinks and dancing then he pulled me aside to say he wasn't interested in my friend, he was interested in me. I looked at him with shock, not fancying him at all.
He was too black, black hair, black eyes, not for me. But we gave him a lift to his fabulous house in Rowville, neat as a pin, something vast and luxurious and he made a move and I resisted. Graziella and I went home.
And then he rang me at home a few weeks later and came over. the girls were very excited and he arrived, neat jeans, cowboy boots, highly polished and leather jacket, he looked different, somehow and he met the girls and was relaxed and comfortable around kids of which he had a few.
He was so funny and self deprecating and amused at everything we had to say. So we went out together to the Waltzing Matilda and had an absolute ball. Dancing like loons and drinking and making complete arses out of ourselves. We went home, this would have been 5 months after Bob and I separated and he stayed.
Big big mistake but it was innocent and lovely for me, beacuse my husband Bob had not wanted me for years. Said so, acted so, but when I had moved on, he hadn't, and went apeshit. The girls impressed by the new Bob told my husband Bob I was seeing someone and he had a fabulous showroom car.
Bob never said a word. Later in a few weeks we went To Bob R's house, he kissed Kyle, the baby when we walked in. He was half Italian, not that you could tell, but he had immaculate manners and greeted the girls like long lost friends, making them welcome and offering food and drinks.
We had Debbie's car and she hadn't come with us, preferring to go out with friends, she was more withdrawn about me having another man in my life. So we sat and we taped Hey Hey It;s Saturday as the girls had been there in the audience. We discussed Collingwood mainly as he was an avid, rabid fan.
Big posters of the team surrounding us on the pristine walls, I have never met a man as organised or neat, he was like a machine, smooth, untroubled and calm. He glided rather than walked, loved kids, his especially, and any others that happened along. I had first noticed him at work because of his beautiful handwriting, it was studied and curled, strong and individualistic, like the man really.
And when he came in or I bumped into him he would always mock me. gently and at first I thought the man was a horror, with his sharp wit and his disparagement of women, having recently gone through a divorce, his first, his first wife had died.
Men can get really savage about money during a divorce and he was always complaining about the money, the money.I did the pays as well and noticed he put in the most hours as a night shift driver, causing jealousy with the other tanker drivers, he referred to them as, "The Mothers Club.
We had a great night with Bob R, not knowing what was awaiting us outside, safe as we were inside and laughing at his jokes. We had taped the show and he handed us a copy as we were about to leave. he had stuffed us full of chips and nibblies, salamis and cheeses and his "Special Chicken ", chicken cooked in the oven with special toppings, plump, moist and delicious. I said I loved it and true to form he would make if for me every time I went there.
We went outside to climb in the car and something was wrong. The car was decorated with black paint, light rain drizzling down obscured our vision at first, and then we couldn't understand what we were looking at. it didn't make sense. Words like Bush Pig, Slut, Whore, were written all over the car. In black paint, so while we were inside someone was out here doing this to the car.
We looked around for older teenage kids, but there were none. We all just assumed some teenagers had come across the white Car and decided to give it a spray, except for Bob R
he pulled me to him with a decisive swoop and whispered in my ear, so that the girls couldn't hear.
"You don't think your ex husband had anything to do with this, do you?
I was shocked, literally stunned. my ex husband wouldn't do this, not to his Daughter's car, it was insane to even think it. Bob R left me with that thought and we drove home, glad it was late at night and fretted how we would get the paint off before Debbie got home. We wheeled it into the garage, paranoidly closing the roll a door and set to with sponges and soap and eventually were able to get it all off but it took ages and our arms were tired by the time we finished, just before Debbie arrived home.
To be Continued
