Grand Final Day 2010--- Emergency
Without Prejudice
It was Grand Final Day 2010 and I decided I was having a relaxing day with a wine, sitting on the front step of my "Shed", as my ex husband, likes to call it. But it's really a divine one bedroom unit in My Daughter Yvette's back garden. Suits me, as I have family within grasping and hugging to me reach, and privacy to write and relax.
I feel so lucky to have it, something that is mine for life and can't be taken off me. Very important. And finally I feel like I deserve it, some stability, security and happiness. And trust me when you have been homeless your own place is very important. I love locking the front door and knowing I am safe after so many unstable years. And the reason I am so secure and happy is somewhat because of what happened to Kyle, Grand Final Day 21010.
I sat in the sun and sipped wine and Mara, my Foster Daughter arrived. Conversationally I said we hadn't seen Kyle, my oldest grandson, for a day or so and we always heard from him in one way or another, usually trouble, around that time. But he was like a homing pigeon, no matter what, he always came home to his bed and divine cat, Nicholas. It was a given. Yvette, my 2nd oldest daughter, stating he was a "Home", boy. But there was no coming home for Kyle, that day, and not for a long time. He had disappeared, his girlfriend, Madenka, saying that he had missed a family appointment and it was not like Kyle to show up.
He and his girlfriend had split about 9 months previously, breaking his 19 year old heart, and once again, like Frank, my friend (another story) he knew it was his fault. After the initial shock, he had decided to HATE the world, hate her, hate everyone. And he did, he went nuts. He quit his job with Pam, his grandmother. Became unemployed, started hanging out with some new friends, was gambling like a man possessed and wandered in and out of the house at random, lost and alone. And we couldn't reach him. We tried, how hard we tried and when Police started turning up at the door, we knew he was in big trouble.
The police were always polite and simply asked for Kyle to go see them and he told us he had been and back the police would come, saying he hadn't appeared. We had dragged him out of bed and Yvette made him work for Bob, her Father, and my ex husband, that lasted about a month. he left, but not before my Ex Husband had signed $63,000 of debt to Kyle as Kyle had a bad credit rating anyway and absolving himself of the debt. (Yes, nothing changes, time just passes ) Kyle didn't care, he just didn't care about anything. He had met a new girl, Madenka, who we all liked, but Kyle was still on a one way ride to destruction and he knew it. So he kept hiding and ducking and weaving from the Police, seeing it as a bit of a stupid game that only he knew the answers to. And then one day all the running and hiding came to a halt.
I mentioned to Mara that Simon had left a garbled message on the home phone that Kyle was locked up and In The Dandenong cells, supposedly, and we were waiting for confirmation as Simon was always on about something, out of his mind on Juice, (liquid ecstasy) and gabbled a lot. Mara grabbed my arm in alarm
"we have to go there, NOW! ring Alena, quick."
I wanted to laugh, I was having a quiet relaxing day at home, Collingwood was going to win, no matter what, and I was going no where.
But I rang Alena for Mara's sake and Alena burst into tears. I'd forgotten in the "bad old days", after Lauren died and the world exploded, Mara and Alena had both been in Dandy Cells. They insisted we get clean clothes for Kyle and we had to go there NOW!!!
So we did, racing to get there all of a sudden. Mara and Alena were distraught but we were told Kyle was there and watching The Grand Final with the other "lads". Sounded innocent. No one was allowed in to see him except his Dad, Simon, the next day Sunday. That was a bit worrying, Simon at that time was in his own battle and was not the best person Kyle could be seeing before going to Court.
Kyle had been robbing number plates from cars with his mates and putting them on his own car and then getting pulled over ad infinitum, on and on and ON. Almost like he wanted to be caught. So we figured he would be sent to court on Monday and be bailed and we would be able to help him in some way, any way. We told no one and waited for Monday. We all turned up, so did Simon, babbling, on juice and more, he kept running to his car and coming back wet on the top lip and sweating.
There was a court appointed Solicitor who would talk to no one except Simon, and Simon was off his tree. Kyle was 20, a young boy and we knew no harm would come to him.He was young, this was his first offence, hope the judge was lenient etc. And at 1st we though it was 7 or 8 charges, misdemeanours, not a problem. As much as we hadn't wanted to we had seen his fathers court cases many years ago, they were more serious charges.
And as we went into court after lunch, there was no Solicitor, court appointed or otherwise. Simon decided that Kyle should be his own defence, and we all know how that goes. When I did legal studies as a Mature Age student, I had been told that a client who represents himself is an idiot and will 85% of the time go to jail.
Especially if he looks like a dead head Kid, which was exactly what my Grandson looked like to the elderly Judge. Smart Ass kid, running from the law, catch me if you can behaviour, sticking his fingers up at the law, laughing at the law. He was guilty of it all. And they jailed him just like that. Straight to Remand in the city and then to the big boys jail in St Albans. The girls screamed when his sentence was handed down. Alena ticked off the judge,
"You rotten old man, don't you realise he's just a kid"
Mara, also yelled out, a big no no in a court.
And Security, chased them both outside to charge them both with contempt, but they were gone. Distraught and crying. I was calm, as I always am in a crisis, breakdown for me came later. I screamed at Yvette that night for not being at court and we had an ugly fight. I didn't care, Kyle was the future, mine and Deb's, Yvette's, Alena's and Mara's. He wasn't like either his Mum or Simon, he was our "baby", our focus and purpose after his Auntie Lauren had died. The hope and promise in his being 2 weeks when Lauren died, we pouring our heart, soul and minds in to him being well and happy. That had to count, surely???
Yvette was more of the mind that Kyle had been hurting her for a while, punishing her for falling in love with one of his friends and having two kids to him, and being quite happy. Kyle had gone off to his Dad's months before but lately had taken to coming back home, just before he was arrested and locked up, jealously guarding his brothers and his home.
Yvette had put up with so much with Kyle her emotions were dead and she had just given birth to her 7th boy, Cruz and was in no mood to put up with Kyle's "shit". He had caused it and he could do the time. Same as her new boyfriend had for a month, same as Simon had for years.
But we talked her in to coming to the M.A.P. The Melbourne Assessment Prison and as a family we caught the train to Spencer Street and our trip was wasted, Kyle had been moved that day.
The Map or remand is school boys camp compared to an adult prison. Debbie and I drove out to St Albans and the prison there was like something you see in an American Movie. Flat squat buildings, stretched out, Security Fencing with Razor Ribbon all around, no escape, maximum security, horrible, terrible, bleak.
I was first in to see Kyle and the only one on his list, Debbie wasn't on it and had to wait ages in the Foyer. I had to go through security check after security check, but I didn't care what I had to do I was going in to see that he was ok. A rumour had been spread that because of Kyle's dad's history in the past, Kyle was going to be beaten up. and the first thing he said was that it was his fault. All his fault and he was prepared to suck it up. I knew that was part of his recovery so I said,
"Good, because if we were going to help you, you have to feel remorse for what you have done."
He tried to look cool, to me his Nana, and I knew he had to be hurting. All around us were tables in a canteen, full of families with Prisoner men at the head of each one. And I knew Kyle didn't belong in there. He was in with a Man that had stabbed his Mother to death, another killed his girlfriend, lots of very wealthy Asian boys who were big drug dealers, and Kyle thought that was really cool, because those kids had the best Nikes and Tracksuits, Rolex watches. And the ones that did the best on the outside sold dope by the pound. He was full of bravado and bluster and when he got out he might just go do that for a living, sell dope.
I sat back and listened to this and thought,
"You, who doesn't do drugs, you don't even drink, you are still wet behind the ears, all of nine stone of you: soaking wet through, you think this is your future???
I might as well have written it on the wall ten feet high, he looked at me and I looked at him and I said
"you are going to suck it up and we are going to do whatever it takes to help you and it's not going to be easy, for you or us."
And people started coming on board, my older brother knew something was wrong, with all of us, but we weren't telling. As ever, we thought we would do it together, just the girls and I and Madenka, but my brother insisted and found out what was wrong and he offered help. And then we had help and we had lists and solicitor appointments and I organised "protection" for him in there, just in case.
And if you ever think that you will never have to go to the "dark side" to get help, then you might be wrong, so be nice to everyone. I never wanted to know these things but trust me you learn them as you go along. Some of the nicest people can be the biggest crooks, but if you need their help, they will help. And we needed help. Kyle was a 20 year old boy, in on his 1st offence, with a fucked up Dad, who had inadvertently helped him to be in there.
And now Kyle was going to be paying the price for the Dad's past drug fueled behavior. I was at my Sister in Laws wedding on the beach at Frankston and talking to a man on the phone that was in jail with Carl Williams, and standing there in my high heels and wedding outfit, thought,
"Fuck, why me??, just kill me, kill me NOW!"
And all around me were beautifully dressed happy people, sipping a champers and relaxing, congratulating the bride and groom, as you do at a wedding. And it was a lovely wedding, an older couple that my Son in Law and I had "Matched", together, and it was simple and sweet, touching. And I had finished my conversation with the only man that could help me, in one way, and I enjoyed the wedding very much from then on.
My Son In Law and daughter and I were at the top table as we were honoured guests, for having introduced the happy couple. Everything was stunning, open bar, beautiful food, good funny short speeches and the couple glowing in their happiness. I smoked in those day and outside for a quick one, as I'm not much of a drinker, catch up with all the goss And my sister in laws, younger sister's, girlfriend, caught the bouquet and Mara just about rugby tackled the poor woman to the ground and wrestled the bouquet out of her hands and handed it to me, saying to Fiona's girlfriend,
"You don't need it, you're a lesbian...... she needs it", pointing at me.
Seemed like a fitting end to what had been a surreal day. But pulsating through all of us at that time was the thought, Kyle was locked away with Men that could possibly harm him and he should have never been there in the first place. We were resolved now to getting him out and as soon as possible.
To be continued....
It was Grand Final Day 2010 and I decided I was having a relaxing day with a wine, sitting on the front step of my "Shed", as my ex husband, likes to call it. But it's really a divine one bedroom unit in My Daughter Yvette's back garden. Suits me, as I have family within grasping and hugging to me reach, and privacy to write and relax.
I feel so lucky to have it, something that is mine for life and can't be taken off me. Very important. And finally I feel like I deserve it, some stability, security and happiness. And trust me when you have been homeless your own place is very important. I love locking the front door and knowing I am safe after so many unstable years. And the reason I am so secure and happy is somewhat because of what happened to Kyle, Grand Final Day 21010.
I sat in the sun and sipped wine and Mara, my Foster Daughter arrived. Conversationally I said we hadn't seen Kyle, my oldest grandson, for a day or so and we always heard from him in one way or another, usually trouble, around that time. But he was like a homing pigeon, no matter what, he always came home to his bed and divine cat, Nicholas. It was a given. Yvette, my 2nd oldest daughter, stating he was a "Home", boy. But there was no coming home for Kyle, that day, and not for a long time. He had disappeared, his girlfriend, Madenka, saying that he had missed a family appointment and it was not like Kyle to show up.
He and his girlfriend had split about 9 months previously, breaking his 19 year old heart, and once again, like Frank, my friend (another story) he knew it was his fault. After the initial shock, he had decided to HATE the world, hate her, hate everyone. And he did, he went nuts. He quit his job with Pam, his grandmother. Became unemployed, started hanging out with some new friends, was gambling like a man possessed and wandered in and out of the house at random, lost and alone. And we couldn't reach him. We tried, how hard we tried and when Police started turning up at the door, we knew he was in big trouble.
The police were always polite and simply asked for Kyle to go see them and he told us he had been and back the police would come, saying he hadn't appeared. We had dragged him out of bed and Yvette made him work for Bob, her Father, and my ex husband, that lasted about a month. he left, but not before my Ex Husband had signed $63,000 of debt to Kyle as Kyle had a bad credit rating anyway and absolving himself of the debt. (Yes, nothing changes, time just passes ) Kyle didn't care, he just didn't care about anything. He had met a new girl, Madenka, who we all liked, but Kyle was still on a one way ride to destruction and he knew it. So he kept hiding and ducking and weaving from the Police, seeing it as a bit of a stupid game that only he knew the answers to. And then one day all the running and hiding came to a halt.
I mentioned to Mara that Simon had left a garbled message on the home phone that Kyle was locked up and In The Dandenong cells, supposedly, and we were waiting for confirmation as Simon was always on about something, out of his mind on Juice, (liquid ecstasy) and gabbled a lot. Mara grabbed my arm in alarm
"we have to go there, NOW! ring Alena, quick."
I wanted to laugh, I was having a quiet relaxing day at home, Collingwood was going to win, no matter what, and I was going no where.
But I rang Alena for Mara's sake and Alena burst into tears. I'd forgotten in the "bad old days", after Lauren died and the world exploded, Mara and Alena had both been in Dandy Cells. They insisted we get clean clothes for Kyle and we had to go there NOW!!!
So we did, racing to get there all of a sudden. Mara and Alena were distraught but we were told Kyle was there and watching The Grand Final with the other "lads". Sounded innocent. No one was allowed in to see him except his Dad, Simon, the next day Sunday. That was a bit worrying, Simon at that time was in his own battle and was not the best person Kyle could be seeing before going to Court.
Kyle had been robbing number plates from cars with his mates and putting them on his own car and then getting pulled over ad infinitum, on and on and ON. Almost like he wanted to be caught. So we figured he would be sent to court on Monday and be bailed and we would be able to help him in some way, any way. We told no one and waited for Monday. We all turned up, so did Simon, babbling, on juice and more, he kept running to his car and coming back wet on the top lip and sweating.
There was a court appointed Solicitor who would talk to no one except Simon, and Simon was off his tree. Kyle was 20, a young boy and we knew no harm would come to him.He was young, this was his first offence, hope the judge was lenient etc. And at 1st we though it was 7 or 8 charges, misdemeanours, not a problem. As much as we hadn't wanted to we had seen his fathers court cases many years ago, they were more serious charges.
And as we went into court after lunch, there was no Solicitor, court appointed or otherwise. Simon decided that Kyle should be his own defence, and we all know how that goes. When I did legal studies as a Mature Age student, I had been told that a client who represents himself is an idiot and will 85% of the time go to jail.
Especially if he looks like a dead head Kid, which was exactly what my Grandson looked like to the elderly Judge. Smart Ass kid, running from the law, catch me if you can behaviour, sticking his fingers up at the law, laughing at the law. He was guilty of it all. And they jailed him just like that. Straight to Remand in the city and then to the big boys jail in St Albans. The girls screamed when his sentence was handed down. Alena ticked off the judge,
"You rotten old man, don't you realise he's just a kid"
Mara, also yelled out, a big no no in a court.
And Security, chased them both outside to charge them both with contempt, but they were gone. Distraught and crying. I was calm, as I always am in a crisis, breakdown for me came later. I screamed at Yvette that night for not being at court and we had an ugly fight. I didn't care, Kyle was the future, mine and Deb's, Yvette's, Alena's and Mara's. He wasn't like either his Mum or Simon, he was our "baby", our focus and purpose after his Auntie Lauren had died. The hope and promise in his being 2 weeks when Lauren died, we pouring our heart, soul and minds in to him being well and happy. That had to count, surely???
Yvette was more of the mind that Kyle had been hurting her for a while, punishing her for falling in love with one of his friends and having two kids to him, and being quite happy. Kyle had gone off to his Dad's months before but lately had taken to coming back home, just before he was arrested and locked up, jealously guarding his brothers and his home.
Yvette had put up with so much with Kyle her emotions were dead and she had just given birth to her 7th boy, Cruz and was in no mood to put up with Kyle's "shit". He had caused it and he could do the time. Same as her new boyfriend had for a month, same as Simon had for years.
But we talked her in to coming to the M.A.P. The Melbourne Assessment Prison and as a family we caught the train to Spencer Street and our trip was wasted, Kyle had been moved that day.
The Map or remand is school boys camp compared to an adult prison. Debbie and I drove out to St Albans and the prison there was like something you see in an American Movie. Flat squat buildings, stretched out, Security Fencing with Razor Ribbon all around, no escape, maximum security, horrible, terrible, bleak.
I was first in to see Kyle and the only one on his list, Debbie wasn't on it and had to wait ages in the Foyer. I had to go through security check after security check, but I didn't care what I had to do I was going in to see that he was ok. A rumour had been spread that because of Kyle's dad's history in the past, Kyle was going to be beaten up. and the first thing he said was that it was his fault. All his fault and he was prepared to suck it up. I knew that was part of his recovery so I said,
"Good, because if we were going to help you, you have to feel remorse for what you have done."
He tried to look cool, to me his Nana, and I knew he had to be hurting. All around us were tables in a canteen, full of families with Prisoner men at the head of each one. And I knew Kyle didn't belong in there. He was in with a Man that had stabbed his Mother to death, another killed his girlfriend, lots of very wealthy Asian boys who were big drug dealers, and Kyle thought that was really cool, because those kids had the best Nikes and Tracksuits, Rolex watches. And the ones that did the best on the outside sold dope by the pound. He was full of bravado and bluster and when he got out he might just go do that for a living, sell dope.
I sat back and listened to this and thought,
"You, who doesn't do drugs, you don't even drink, you are still wet behind the ears, all of nine stone of you: soaking wet through, you think this is your future???
I might as well have written it on the wall ten feet high, he looked at me and I looked at him and I said
"you are going to suck it up and we are going to do whatever it takes to help you and it's not going to be easy, for you or us."
And people started coming on board, my older brother knew something was wrong, with all of us, but we weren't telling. As ever, we thought we would do it together, just the girls and I and Madenka, but my brother insisted and found out what was wrong and he offered help. And then we had help and we had lists and solicitor appointments and I organised "protection" for him in there, just in case.
And if you ever think that you will never have to go to the "dark side" to get help, then you might be wrong, so be nice to everyone. I never wanted to know these things but trust me you learn them as you go along. Some of the nicest people can be the biggest crooks, but if you need their help, they will help. And we needed help. Kyle was a 20 year old boy, in on his 1st offence, with a fucked up Dad, who had inadvertently helped him to be in there.
And now Kyle was going to be paying the price for the Dad's past drug fueled behavior. I was at my Sister in Laws wedding on the beach at Frankston and talking to a man on the phone that was in jail with Carl Williams, and standing there in my high heels and wedding outfit, thought,
"Fuck, why me??, just kill me, kill me NOW!"
And all around me were beautifully dressed happy people, sipping a champers and relaxing, congratulating the bride and groom, as you do at a wedding. And it was a lovely wedding, an older couple that my Son in Law and I had "Matched", together, and it was simple and sweet, touching. And I had finished my conversation with the only man that could help me, in one way, and I enjoyed the wedding very much from then on.
My Son In Law and daughter and I were at the top table as we were honoured guests, for having introduced the happy couple. Everything was stunning, open bar, beautiful food, good funny short speeches and the couple glowing in their happiness. I smoked in those day and outside for a quick one, as I'm not much of a drinker, catch up with all the goss And my sister in laws, younger sister's, girlfriend, caught the bouquet and Mara just about rugby tackled the poor woman to the ground and wrestled the bouquet out of her hands and handed it to me, saying to Fiona's girlfriend,
"You don't need it, you're a lesbian...... she needs it", pointing at me.
Seemed like a fitting end to what had been a surreal day. But pulsating through all of us at that time was the thought, Kyle was locked away with Men that could possibly harm him and he should have never been there in the first place. We were resolved now to getting him out and as soon as possible.
To be continued....
