The House
Without Prejudice
I like the phrase " Success is best measured by how far you have come, with the talents you have been given "
Nearly two years ago I came to live in a unit at the rear of my daughter, Yvette's house. She had been living here 6 years and it was a great house for 7 boys, eventually. The 7th hadn't been born when I moved here but soon was.
I had been living in expensive private rental in Noble Park and was sick to death of paying so much money for a house that was empty half the time. I took in International Students who were wonderful but I missed having a Family. My Family.
We had discussed it years ago, Yvette and I but we didn't go ahead at that time, the timing was off. So I had to help a friend try and get some emergency housing and there was none. She had worked ten years and had left her husband and needed accomodation for her and two young boys. Nothing, zip, zilch and her husband had the children and she wanted the family back together.
Doors were closed, queues were endless and she complained loud and long about how refugees were better off than her. We met with no success at all, no matter how urgent and demanding the situation became. Culminating in a stand off between her and her husband. Stressed we had to go to the courts and there was no help there either, so in desperation she returned home.
I had great International Students, Hammad from The Emirates, studying Law at Melbourne U. Hanson a 16 year old boy from China who was adorable and so young and Luc, a french boy who was in Australia for Work Experience at L'Oreal. They were divine and my babies and I fed them and did their washing, well Hanson's anyway, Hammad insisted on doing his own.
Luc was temporary, Hammad stayed 2 years and Hanson I had for a year. Hanson was the most work and yet stayed in his room studying so much I began to worry about him. Hammad sat at his desk a lot too during the day after rising about 2pm. I had to tiptoe around a lot but the money was excellent and I liked the company. I did have one bad man that came and was supposed to be working all the time and instead hid in his room on line gambling all the time. I gave him his notice and he tried to shy out of the rent.
I like to handle my own problems but ended up having to get my Son In Law to come down and get the money from him and then he dropped him off at the Train Station. I had a short term boarder for a month. Pei a Thai boy who was an absolute wonder of delight and friendliness. I asked him on the first day if he had a girlfriend and he said, "no. Boyfriend" and I laughed at his honesty. He cooked, he cleaned, I took him to parties and he told me what to wear.
But after Pei left I felt dispirited so I began again to think about having a unit in Yvette's back yard. I had lived with Yvette before under the same roof and although it was good, I realised I was past living under the same roof with lots of small kids. I liked my peace and quiet, too much and my privacy. So I asked her and she said,
"You might as well, you're always here "
True.
So I found the number to call and rang and I was eligible, Yayy!
We did the paperwork and I was so lucky as they were pulling one out of Aspendale Gardens, an old lady had died, and the builders needed to get in and erect mine, post haste. Within a week it was built and 3 weeks later I was sitting in it. I couldn't believe how fast it had happened and in the middle of winter too.
I kissed all the workmen the day I moved in as it was MINE, for life ! I could move it anywhere in Victoria as I owned it holus bolus until I died. I was ecstatic. I had lived in the one place for 20 years when I was married but in the intervening years had moved states, countries, houses more than 36 times. I couldn't believe it when I totalled them all up. The moving, the cost, the disruption, the stress.
Its called "Running"
I just wanted to "Be", somewhere but it had to have family attached I realised or I would just wither and die.
The unit is 8 metres by 5 (the largest one )and looks like a cream and pale green box. If I could put wheels on it I would so I could take it to Qld for the winter. I can't help it, but I love it. I like to have a smaller place now as there is only me. Sometimes I look at all my "stuff" and think what the hell do I need all this "stuff" for?. I have loads of cutlery and dishes and pots I don't use. I only have to walk 15 metres and Yvette has a huge house, also full of "stuff"
It has a tiny verandah and wooden steps up to the front door. All the fittings are first class and there is one thing and one thing only I don't like. There is a fold down seat in the massive shower and I leave it folded up against the wall as it reminds me of being elderly. The kids however love it and fold it down and sit on it while showering.
Yvette had hell for a week with workmen everywhere and mud. She coped pretty well with it all. I took care of Keiko, her prized Husky while the work went on at Yvette's. Keiko is a huge Husky with a docile nature but when she can get out she just goes. I am sure she thinks she is on the ice of some Arctic Glacier and "mushes", (takes off like a maniac and runs for miles). She used to get out regularly and Yvette would have to drive the People Mover with the boys hanging out the side door and Brock, Zach or Jai would have to fly out on to her back and pin her to the ground to capture her.
So when I took her to Noble Park, she dug out under the gate within a day and didn't return. Yvette was pregnant and emotional and we turned Noble Park over trying to find her. One week and one day after she disappeared she dug back under the gate and appeared at the back door. luckily I had my grand daughter Tiana and gtandson Kyan. Tiana heard a scratching at the back door and raced in to my room at 5am leaping with joy.
God knows where she had been as she stunk of some strange smell, almost chemical, and was covered in grease. We had a feeling she had been hidden in a backyard somewhere and had escaped. we had tried the pound, the lost dogs home, the animal shelters, councils, the lot.Yvette was hysterical until she was found and I took Keiko home the same day.
Luckily the unit was finished by then and Yvette could close the gates and keep Keiko in. I was in awe of the structure in the backyard. It was 4 walls and a roof and that was all that was original. All the rest was brand new, the paint inside and out, the carpet, the heater with its own tiny little remote, the bathroom, the kitchen all new and all mine. And for a quarter of my income no matter how large or small.
I was then free of financial constraint and could do what I wanted. The unit has it's own power board and gas meter. We share a bill for water. So I hadn't heard from my friend Sylvia for a while and I rang her and she screamed as she had the same builders put one in at her house for her son, who had been injured in a motor bike accident. We both find it an easy way of living, she has always been scared of being on her own and she is so happy her Son is there. The secret to success in sharing a property is to have boundaries. And as my nursing Sister Helen said " A Door"
I don't go into Yvette's house unless she asks me and vice versa. Once my front door is shut I can't hear a thing from the house. Yvette and I decided how far away from her we would have it and place it so it was shaded by trees at the back and facing away from Yvette's house. We have several shared areas. We sit outside on the step and discuss what we have to do each day, except weekends.
I come and go as I please and we want a side gate so no one from the house can see me come and go. I find if they spot me I might be in a hurry and they want to chat, or hug or play or ask me to bring back milk or take a child to Domino's. At the moment we have double gates which are great on the left side of the house. We really need to keep them locked at all times because of the athletic Husky and two little terrors aged 3 and 1 locked in.
It was weird at first, living in the unit. I quickly made it mine with decorating. Many a sleepless night I had had in Noble Park worrying how on earth I was going to fit a 3 bedroom house into a small unit. in the end I sold most of everything on Ebay. Even an extremely ugly brown velvet couch that had seen better days in the 70's. I condensed and squeezed and then paid for the movers to come and pack up the rest.
They were brilliant. They put the bed frame on the brass bed on upside down leaving only a little space underneath, but I didn't care. Its a pill of a thing to try and get together as you have to drop a drill bit or similar down its hollow legs to screw in the frame anyway. Bloody nuisance. It works and I love sleeping in it, upside down base or not.
I am going to [put a bull nose verandah on it and extend the back a little with a garden room. It has plenty of scope. I found that at first I just wanted to get it all perfect and then sit down in admiration but that was not to be for a while. Firstly we needed to sort out a few things from day one. P, Yvette's ex was young and lived with her a little at the time. He didn't like me being there and we had a few run ins.
In the end I ignored them all for 3 and a half weeks and Yvette and he separated without hostility. She made the decision in the end and he followed her lead and he went back home to his Family where he is quite happy, I believe. he did try a few things before he left but I won't repeat them, no point. It's all over for the moment and there is no need to dwell.
Once he left I stepped up to the garden and "man jobs" and the older boys chipped in too with tasks. I persuaded them to help me move the trampoline from one side of the yard to the other. It was like moving a huge flexible satellite dish and we had to watch for roofs and wires but we did it. None of the boys wanted anyone living with them except their Mum so they were more than happy to pitch in with the "man tasks".
The first few months were mud, mud and more mud. the backyard was like a tip and the side of the house was so bad that I heard the man next door say to his son,
"Rubbish ? You might as well chuck it over the fence (to our place)". I was horrified and furious all at the same time. The grass was long in the backyard and covered in piles of dog shit from the two dogs.
So it was mud and shit and mess for a while. The "boyfriend" never either felt the inclination to work or help out, occasionally he would mow the grass and we would both applaud praise him thinking he then might do more but it never happened. He freaked out one night all together and the boys came pounding on the door which was highly unusual at 2.30 am and I wasn't at that time speaking to any of them. The oldest was off the rails and the rest were following his lead. Things were bad.
The boys were cowering and shaking and said the "boyfriend" was going crazy. I locked them in my unit and went out to face him. Jesus, why me, I thought. But he was standing at the side door with a shovel which he was about to pitch through the glass sliding door. I heard Yvette and the babies scream as he lunged and I called his name. he turned towards me with the shovel in his hand.
"Shit!", I thought, but I moved closer and said,
You don't want to do that"
and said his name which I knew somehow would reach him. He slumped and put the shovel down for a second and I ran forward and grabbed it and ran to the back yard and hid it quickly. He was right behind me and started bellowing into my face. I could feel the spittle from his mouth hit my face. I just stayed calm and he yelled inches from my face,
"You're Bi Polar, and you are going to die tonight, Bitch "
To be continued................
I like the phrase " Success is best measured by how far you have come, with the talents you have been given "
Nearly two years ago I came to live in a unit at the rear of my daughter, Yvette's house. She had been living here 6 years and it was a great house for 7 boys, eventually. The 7th hadn't been born when I moved here but soon was.
I had been living in expensive private rental in Noble Park and was sick to death of paying so much money for a house that was empty half the time. I took in International Students who were wonderful but I missed having a Family. My Family.
We had discussed it years ago, Yvette and I but we didn't go ahead at that time, the timing was off. So I had to help a friend try and get some emergency housing and there was none. She had worked ten years and had left her husband and needed accomodation for her and two young boys. Nothing, zip, zilch and her husband had the children and she wanted the family back together.
Doors were closed, queues were endless and she complained loud and long about how refugees were better off than her. We met with no success at all, no matter how urgent and demanding the situation became. Culminating in a stand off between her and her husband. Stressed we had to go to the courts and there was no help there either, so in desperation she returned home.
I had great International Students, Hammad from The Emirates, studying Law at Melbourne U. Hanson a 16 year old boy from China who was adorable and so young and Luc, a french boy who was in Australia for Work Experience at L'Oreal. They were divine and my babies and I fed them and did their washing, well Hanson's anyway, Hammad insisted on doing his own.
Luc was temporary, Hammad stayed 2 years and Hanson I had for a year. Hanson was the most work and yet stayed in his room studying so much I began to worry about him. Hammad sat at his desk a lot too during the day after rising about 2pm. I had to tiptoe around a lot but the money was excellent and I liked the company. I did have one bad man that came and was supposed to be working all the time and instead hid in his room on line gambling all the time. I gave him his notice and he tried to shy out of the rent.
I like to handle my own problems but ended up having to get my Son In Law to come down and get the money from him and then he dropped him off at the Train Station. I had a short term boarder for a month. Pei a Thai boy who was an absolute wonder of delight and friendliness. I asked him on the first day if he had a girlfriend and he said, "no. Boyfriend" and I laughed at his honesty. He cooked, he cleaned, I took him to parties and he told me what to wear.
But after Pei left I felt dispirited so I began again to think about having a unit in Yvette's back yard. I had lived with Yvette before under the same roof and although it was good, I realised I was past living under the same roof with lots of small kids. I liked my peace and quiet, too much and my privacy. So I asked her and she said,
"You might as well, you're always here "
True.
So I found the number to call and rang and I was eligible, Yayy!
We did the paperwork and I was so lucky as they were pulling one out of Aspendale Gardens, an old lady had died, and the builders needed to get in and erect mine, post haste. Within a week it was built and 3 weeks later I was sitting in it. I couldn't believe how fast it had happened and in the middle of winter too.
I kissed all the workmen the day I moved in as it was MINE, for life ! I could move it anywhere in Victoria as I owned it holus bolus until I died. I was ecstatic. I had lived in the one place for 20 years when I was married but in the intervening years had moved states, countries, houses more than 36 times. I couldn't believe it when I totalled them all up. The moving, the cost, the disruption, the stress.
Its called "Running"
I just wanted to "Be", somewhere but it had to have family attached I realised or I would just wither and die.
The unit is 8 metres by 5 (the largest one )and looks like a cream and pale green box. If I could put wheels on it I would so I could take it to Qld for the winter. I can't help it, but I love it. I like to have a smaller place now as there is only me. Sometimes I look at all my "stuff" and think what the hell do I need all this "stuff" for?. I have loads of cutlery and dishes and pots I don't use. I only have to walk 15 metres and Yvette has a huge house, also full of "stuff"
It has a tiny verandah and wooden steps up to the front door. All the fittings are first class and there is one thing and one thing only I don't like. There is a fold down seat in the massive shower and I leave it folded up against the wall as it reminds me of being elderly. The kids however love it and fold it down and sit on it while showering.
Yvette had hell for a week with workmen everywhere and mud. She coped pretty well with it all. I took care of Keiko, her prized Husky while the work went on at Yvette's. Keiko is a huge Husky with a docile nature but when she can get out she just goes. I am sure she thinks she is on the ice of some Arctic Glacier and "mushes", (takes off like a maniac and runs for miles). She used to get out regularly and Yvette would have to drive the People Mover with the boys hanging out the side door and Brock, Zach or Jai would have to fly out on to her back and pin her to the ground to capture her.
So when I took her to Noble Park, she dug out under the gate within a day and didn't return. Yvette was pregnant and emotional and we turned Noble Park over trying to find her. One week and one day after she disappeared she dug back under the gate and appeared at the back door. luckily I had my grand daughter Tiana and gtandson Kyan. Tiana heard a scratching at the back door and raced in to my room at 5am leaping with joy.
God knows where she had been as she stunk of some strange smell, almost chemical, and was covered in grease. We had a feeling she had been hidden in a backyard somewhere and had escaped. we had tried the pound, the lost dogs home, the animal shelters, councils, the lot.Yvette was hysterical until she was found and I took Keiko home the same day.
Luckily the unit was finished by then and Yvette could close the gates and keep Keiko in. I was in awe of the structure in the backyard. It was 4 walls and a roof and that was all that was original. All the rest was brand new, the paint inside and out, the carpet, the heater with its own tiny little remote, the bathroom, the kitchen all new and all mine. And for a quarter of my income no matter how large or small.
I was then free of financial constraint and could do what I wanted. The unit has it's own power board and gas meter. We share a bill for water. So I hadn't heard from my friend Sylvia for a while and I rang her and she screamed as she had the same builders put one in at her house for her son, who had been injured in a motor bike accident. We both find it an easy way of living, she has always been scared of being on her own and she is so happy her Son is there. The secret to success in sharing a property is to have boundaries. And as my nursing Sister Helen said " A Door"
I don't go into Yvette's house unless she asks me and vice versa. Once my front door is shut I can't hear a thing from the house. Yvette and I decided how far away from her we would have it and place it so it was shaded by trees at the back and facing away from Yvette's house. We have several shared areas. We sit outside on the step and discuss what we have to do each day, except weekends.
I come and go as I please and we want a side gate so no one from the house can see me come and go. I find if they spot me I might be in a hurry and they want to chat, or hug or play or ask me to bring back milk or take a child to Domino's. At the moment we have double gates which are great on the left side of the house. We really need to keep them locked at all times because of the athletic Husky and two little terrors aged 3 and 1 locked in.
It was weird at first, living in the unit. I quickly made it mine with decorating. Many a sleepless night I had had in Noble Park worrying how on earth I was going to fit a 3 bedroom house into a small unit. in the end I sold most of everything on Ebay. Even an extremely ugly brown velvet couch that had seen better days in the 70's. I condensed and squeezed and then paid for the movers to come and pack up the rest.
They were brilliant. They put the bed frame on the brass bed on upside down leaving only a little space underneath, but I didn't care. Its a pill of a thing to try and get together as you have to drop a drill bit or similar down its hollow legs to screw in the frame anyway. Bloody nuisance. It works and I love sleeping in it, upside down base or not.
I am going to [put a bull nose verandah on it and extend the back a little with a garden room. It has plenty of scope. I found that at first I just wanted to get it all perfect and then sit down in admiration but that was not to be for a while. Firstly we needed to sort out a few things from day one. P, Yvette's ex was young and lived with her a little at the time. He didn't like me being there and we had a few run ins.
In the end I ignored them all for 3 and a half weeks and Yvette and he separated without hostility. She made the decision in the end and he followed her lead and he went back home to his Family where he is quite happy, I believe. he did try a few things before he left but I won't repeat them, no point. It's all over for the moment and there is no need to dwell.
Once he left I stepped up to the garden and "man jobs" and the older boys chipped in too with tasks. I persuaded them to help me move the trampoline from one side of the yard to the other. It was like moving a huge flexible satellite dish and we had to watch for roofs and wires but we did it. None of the boys wanted anyone living with them except their Mum so they were more than happy to pitch in with the "man tasks".
The first few months were mud, mud and more mud. the backyard was like a tip and the side of the house was so bad that I heard the man next door say to his son,
"Rubbish ? You might as well chuck it over the fence (to our place)". I was horrified and furious all at the same time. The grass was long in the backyard and covered in piles of dog shit from the two dogs.
So it was mud and shit and mess for a while. The "boyfriend" never either felt the inclination to work or help out, occasionally he would mow the grass and we would both applaud praise him thinking he then might do more but it never happened. He freaked out one night all together and the boys came pounding on the door which was highly unusual at 2.30 am and I wasn't at that time speaking to any of them. The oldest was off the rails and the rest were following his lead. Things were bad.
The boys were cowering and shaking and said the "boyfriend" was going crazy. I locked them in my unit and went out to face him. Jesus, why me, I thought. But he was standing at the side door with a shovel which he was about to pitch through the glass sliding door. I heard Yvette and the babies scream as he lunged and I called his name. he turned towards me with the shovel in his hand.
"Shit!", I thought, but I moved closer and said,
You don't want to do that"
and said his name which I knew somehow would reach him. He slumped and put the shovel down for a second and I ran forward and grabbed it and ran to the back yard and hid it quickly. He was right behind me and started bellowing into my face. I could feel the spittle from his mouth hit my face. I just stayed calm and he yelled inches from my face,
"You're Bi Polar, and you are going to die tonight, Bitch "
To be continued................
