Smashed Eggs and Egos
Without Prejudice
I have spoken before about our neighbour, the one I called, Grumpy Man, once. He's been the neighbour ever since my daughter moved to Cranbourne, almost eight years, now. He was not thrilled with her having 5 boys at that time and would always trot over to Yvettes house every time he had a complaint.
The funny thing is was that he also always can be relied on to help start a car, help out with a neighbourhood dispute, or a practical problem and seems deep down to be a straight up sort of a man. He says how he feels in no uncertain terms. Has a great looking house, and always seems to be working around the place, almost obsessively now.
He and his partner, Cheryl seemed to be the epitome of decency, morality, normalcy and left Yvette and I way behind in quietness and neatness. Just an average couple you would think on the surface. Didn't seem to be having a lot of fun type couple. A bit aloof, a bit too judgemental, but they and others seemed to think they were just that little bit above everyone else.
I don't like to associate with neighbours all that much. It's still suburbia even though we have stepped up to the grand title of Cranbourne East and not just plain old Cranny. The name Cranny seems to be linked to unemployment, druggies, hoons, welfare payments and single Mums. And in this Suburbia things are not always as they seem.
Yvette and I have no delusions of grandeur. We live together but apart, she in the front house
And me tucked away in the backyard in my unit. It works for us and we like it. I have the family clan atmosphere that I prefer after living on my own for about two years. And Yvette has someone to mind the kids if they are asleep. She never asks me to baby sit. I know she knows I don't want to be leaned on. I reason it out that she has grown teen boys in the house who are of age and do not mind keeping an eye on their little brothers if the need should arise.
Things change as they always do.
Cheryl left him after her first Mothers day, she finally had a longed for baby boy at 43. I hardly spoke to her that much except to like and admire the bubs who was cute. I often saw her trundling him down the street. Him I saw walking the dogs but they never walked together. He always wore dark shades giving him a slightly sinister look.
" He's Bi Polar, you know " she said to me one day apropos of nothing one day. I just looked at her and didn't comment.
We didn't realise she had left until he told me one day. She left, taking the baby. It wasn't his he said. He had 3 sons, older boys from a previous marriage. One had recently hung himself, aged 18. Drug issues, he said. Cheryl and him were doing I.V.F. And it hadn't worked and then she tried with donor sperm while he was away in Adelaide, working for ten weeks and it worked.
He didn't miss her he said. He missed the Little fella", however. She had gone to her Mothers in Geelong and no way, no how was coming back. He seemed happy as he didn't have to pay maintenance or pay her out for anything. All seemed well. I asked after her one day a year later and he said I don't want to talk about That, he said.
I just ignored him and was busy the next day and he offered me helpful advice about the guttering I was about to paint. Yvette joined me out the front. I joked and called him a grumpy man and he said it depended on what we spoke of. But a few weeks later he called me over and said he had a new lady love. She was spiritual like him. Lived a long way away.
I congratulated him and thought back to a few weeks ago when he had said he would never have another woman in his life. No how, no way, not if you paid me, he had stated.
So Happy days again.
Yvette pulled up in the car two days ago. The neighbour bounded across the lawn as she struggled with kids and bags, trying to get in the front door.
"My cars been egged, ", he said.
"The angle looks like it has come from from Your boys throwing them over the fence"
He was hinting that it was Acer the 4 year old and Yvette was having none of it.
" my kids don't throw eggs over fences" she said.
If there is one thing Yvette doesn't have in the house it's eggs. She hates dairy food and buys milk and ice cream for the boys to have. But she knew she didn't have eggs.
She came out to the unit, steaming.
Not one to mince words, she launched, and in no uncertain terms went off for a good ten minutes before she drew breath.
"Hes not getting any" I said when I could get a word in.
"What do you mean, I thought he had some new bird"
"He's not getting any", I repeated.
She didn't believe me and threatened all sorts of dire consequences to be rained down in his head.
It in the end turned out to his Sons car.the son that is the army in Darwin. The neighbour has been anticipating this son coming for months. The older son is having a hard time dealing with his brothers death. We were looking forward to it too for our beighbour.
"I don't care if he is in the Army, that boy is ruder than his Father", Yvette yelled. I told her to pipe down as the neighbours could hear.
"I don't give a flying fuck"
He had told me he had been married twice when he had been in the "Good" mood. Lived with Chezza for a while. Then he spent twelve months on his own and now with that strange google eyed look some men get, he told me of her and how wonderful the new one is. They are vey compatible he said. Almost soul mates.
So it's down the track 2 days and Yvette is seething, still.
But tonight I was unpegging all the washing off the line and I could hear him speaking loudly on his mobile in the back yard. Turned out he was meeting her for the first time and she didn't show. He was trying to do a quick potted version of himself in a few minutes but one phrase made my ears prick up.
"Aggressive, I'm not aggressive" he said.
I rolled my eyes as I unpegged. This was getting interesting. Turns out he and the sullen son had gone to some Pub up whoop whoop somewhere far away and she hadn't showed and was ringing to tell him why she hadn't showed.
There was dead silence, sounds like she rang off. Gosh and here was me thinking he had found his soul mate. Yvette came in tonight and was still pissed off and had a snap at her boyfriend about it. I told her what I had unwittingly overheard. I didn't say I told you so about him not getting any, nor did I gloat.
Together we deduced Cheryl has probably found herself a new man. A nice man, Yvette said, she has that lovely baby and she was a nice woman. And poor neighbour has found that out, no doubt, and wants to move forward too. Show us, her, he can have a woman if he wants
Of course he won't use the time for self reflection, seek counselling, get help. He will either bury himself in the bottle or work. Lately he starts the power tools up at 8am in the morning and finishes at 8pm at night. He's building a car port, there is a garage, car port, pergola. He works all say everyday, even Sundays. Grinding and hammering, power saws going all day very day.
And what he will do is try and replace, instead of reflecting, get angry instead of accepting. The eggs are nothing. They wash off. But his massive ego that won't wash off. The last thing I heard him say to her and he repeated it twice was,
"Have you looked in the mirror, lately.? You will end up a lonely woman" hint hint.
In other words, cleave to me, I will sleep with you and dump you, breaking your heart as I am still not over the fact that evryone leaves me. I need revenge sex. I need to show Cheryl I am doing fine. I need not to seek a counsellor, that's for women, they believe that shit the same way they believe in astrology, miracles, angels. It's all bullshit and I haven't finished with women yet.
But sounds like
dear neighbour they are done with you
Love Janette
I have spoken before about our neighbour, the one I called, Grumpy Man, once. He's been the neighbour ever since my daughter moved to Cranbourne, almost eight years, now. He was not thrilled with her having 5 boys at that time and would always trot over to Yvettes house every time he had a complaint.
The funny thing is was that he also always can be relied on to help start a car, help out with a neighbourhood dispute, or a practical problem and seems deep down to be a straight up sort of a man. He says how he feels in no uncertain terms. Has a great looking house, and always seems to be working around the place, almost obsessively now.
He and his partner, Cheryl seemed to be the epitome of decency, morality, normalcy and left Yvette and I way behind in quietness and neatness. Just an average couple you would think on the surface. Didn't seem to be having a lot of fun type couple. A bit aloof, a bit too judgemental, but they and others seemed to think they were just that little bit above everyone else.
I don't like to associate with neighbours all that much. It's still suburbia even though we have stepped up to the grand title of Cranbourne East and not just plain old Cranny. The name Cranny seems to be linked to unemployment, druggies, hoons, welfare payments and single Mums. And in this Suburbia things are not always as they seem.
Yvette and I have no delusions of grandeur. We live together but apart, she in the front house
And me tucked away in the backyard in my unit. It works for us and we like it. I have the family clan atmosphere that I prefer after living on my own for about two years. And Yvette has someone to mind the kids if they are asleep. She never asks me to baby sit. I know she knows I don't want to be leaned on. I reason it out that she has grown teen boys in the house who are of age and do not mind keeping an eye on their little brothers if the need should arise.
Things change as they always do.
Cheryl left him after her first Mothers day, she finally had a longed for baby boy at 43. I hardly spoke to her that much except to like and admire the bubs who was cute. I often saw her trundling him down the street. Him I saw walking the dogs but they never walked together. He always wore dark shades giving him a slightly sinister look.
" He's Bi Polar, you know " she said to me one day apropos of nothing one day. I just looked at her and didn't comment.
We didn't realise she had left until he told me one day. She left, taking the baby. It wasn't his he said. He had 3 sons, older boys from a previous marriage. One had recently hung himself, aged 18. Drug issues, he said. Cheryl and him were doing I.V.F. And it hadn't worked and then she tried with donor sperm while he was away in Adelaide, working for ten weeks and it worked.
He didn't miss her he said. He missed the Little fella", however. She had gone to her Mothers in Geelong and no way, no how was coming back. He seemed happy as he didn't have to pay maintenance or pay her out for anything. All seemed well. I asked after her one day a year later and he said I don't want to talk about That, he said.
I just ignored him and was busy the next day and he offered me helpful advice about the guttering I was about to paint. Yvette joined me out the front. I joked and called him a grumpy man and he said it depended on what we spoke of. But a few weeks later he called me over and said he had a new lady love. She was spiritual like him. Lived a long way away.
I congratulated him and thought back to a few weeks ago when he had said he would never have another woman in his life. No how, no way, not if you paid me, he had stated.
So Happy days again.
Yvette pulled up in the car two days ago. The neighbour bounded across the lawn as she struggled with kids and bags, trying to get in the front door.
"My cars been egged, ", he said.
"The angle looks like it has come from from Your boys throwing them over the fence"
He was hinting that it was Acer the 4 year old and Yvette was having none of it.
" my kids don't throw eggs over fences" she said.
If there is one thing Yvette doesn't have in the house it's eggs. She hates dairy food and buys milk and ice cream for the boys to have. But she knew she didn't have eggs.
She came out to the unit, steaming.
Not one to mince words, she launched, and in no uncertain terms went off for a good ten minutes before she drew breath.
"Hes not getting any" I said when I could get a word in.
"What do you mean, I thought he had some new bird"
"He's not getting any", I repeated.
She didn't believe me and threatened all sorts of dire consequences to be rained down in his head.
It in the end turned out to his Sons car.the son that is the army in Darwin. The neighbour has been anticipating this son coming for months. The older son is having a hard time dealing with his brothers death. We were looking forward to it too for our beighbour.
"I don't care if he is in the Army, that boy is ruder than his Father", Yvette yelled. I told her to pipe down as the neighbours could hear.
"I don't give a flying fuck"
He had told me he had been married twice when he had been in the "Good" mood. Lived with Chezza for a while. Then he spent twelve months on his own and now with that strange google eyed look some men get, he told me of her and how wonderful the new one is. They are vey compatible he said. Almost soul mates.
So it's down the track 2 days and Yvette is seething, still.
But tonight I was unpegging all the washing off the line and I could hear him speaking loudly on his mobile in the back yard. Turned out he was meeting her for the first time and she didn't show. He was trying to do a quick potted version of himself in a few minutes but one phrase made my ears prick up.
"Aggressive, I'm not aggressive" he said.
I rolled my eyes as I unpegged. This was getting interesting. Turns out he and the sullen son had gone to some Pub up whoop whoop somewhere far away and she hadn't showed and was ringing to tell him why she hadn't showed.
There was dead silence, sounds like she rang off. Gosh and here was me thinking he had found his soul mate. Yvette came in tonight and was still pissed off and had a snap at her boyfriend about it. I told her what I had unwittingly overheard. I didn't say I told you so about him not getting any, nor did I gloat.
Together we deduced Cheryl has probably found herself a new man. A nice man, Yvette said, she has that lovely baby and she was a nice woman. And poor neighbour has found that out, no doubt, and wants to move forward too. Show us, her, he can have a woman if he wants
Of course he won't use the time for self reflection, seek counselling, get help. He will either bury himself in the bottle or work. Lately he starts the power tools up at 8am in the morning and finishes at 8pm at night. He's building a car port, there is a garage, car port, pergola. He works all say everyday, even Sundays. Grinding and hammering, power saws going all day very day.
And what he will do is try and replace, instead of reflecting, get angry instead of accepting. The eggs are nothing. They wash off. But his massive ego that won't wash off. The last thing I heard him say to her and he repeated it twice was,
"Have you looked in the mirror, lately.? You will end up a lonely woman" hint hint.
In other words, cleave to me, I will sleep with you and dump you, breaking your heart as I am still not over the fact that evryone leaves me. I need revenge sex. I need to show Cheryl I am doing fine. I need not to seek a counsellor, that's for women, they believe that shit the same way they believe in astrology, miracles, angels. It's all bullshit and I haven't finished with women yet.
But sounds like
dear neighbour they are done with you
Love Janette
