Why Women Would Not Want To Be A Man and Zayn Malik
Without Prejudice
Zayn Malik, One Direction singer turns 20 today, Can you imagine being that age and having the fame he has with One Direction ? I hope he has a great family that keeps him grounded.
I feel real sympathy for Men. I would not want to be one even if you paid me.
The reason is that Men are always having to achieve and women don't.
No law says that women have to be anything that what they are. Soft, nurturing, caring, No one hands out medals for being the best Mother, the best housewife, the best lover, the best gardener, the best anything. Women can have the option to stay at home and have a hectic but pleasurable life with kids.
But men have to achieve in the outside world or they face condemnation from other Men. It might be their Father, or a brother or other males. Men have to be seen as a success to themselves, to others and that is not a pressure I would want to have. More is expected of men, often by themselves.
I am sure that there are many men that would just like to sit and contemplate the world and all its beauty. But they can't. They have to get up, shower, exercise, be on time, make themselves competent to the rest of the world. Men who stay at home for whatever reason are seen as "lazy bastards" no matter what. Its a stereotype of manhood and as all stereotypes is not correct.
I know many men that are better running their households than their wives. Sometimes the wife can earn more money or is bored at home and wants to be out in the workforce. And if she does is applauded but not so the man at home.
Men are under enormous pressure from the time they are born, they are "toughened" up from an early age. If they fall over they are told to get up, not be a sook, Girls can bawl and scream as much as they want. Boys and Men are groomed to be men. Girls are allowed to be what they want.
Girls can wear pretty dresses, dress up Dolly, be seen to be nurturing and caring and soft. Boys are expected to "suck it up". Do mothers feel that creating a man in a boy is the real thing to do. Boys can't play with dolls even if they wanted to. Except perhaps G.I. Joe and wasn;t he a best seller?
I have helped to raise many boys and yes, they like cars and trucks and planes and buses. But I have also met many young boys that like to play with a doll and they also love babies. I have one Grandson who is not the slightest bit feminine but even as a toddler loved babies. He still does and is an arrogant 16 year old now, brainy and circumspect, always vain and very good looking but there is a tenderness that comes over him we holds a baby and he wants to. That does not make him a Sissy.
I have seen dolls taken away from boys, mainly by their Dads and told that boys don't play with dolls. Who says ? Boys can play with dolls and girls can play with cars, its all up to the individual. I played Cowgirl with guns when my brothers were playing Davy Crocket. Noone said to me you can't be a tomboy, you will become too manly. And tomboy is an acceptable term for girls. What of a similar term for girlish boys, there isn't one.
Men go out in the world and fight, defend, protect and they have to show their competenct to the rest of the world. We women can also go to work or stay home and no one bothers their arse over it. We can atke all day to get the washing done or sweep the floor watch our soaps take a break, read a magazine and no one is going to be expecting anything from us. Men do not have that same privilege.
A lot of mens lives centre around work and more work in a never ending regime. They may also be trying to exercise and eat right and answer to the boss and never ever get time to be themselves. If they are married they expect of themselves to have to mow the lawns, remember to put the garbage out or get yelled at by the wife as they are the Man jobs.
He then if he wants to stay married is spend time with his partner, put her needs first, shower, shave, shit and die from heart attacks twenty years before his wife does and for what. Has he spent the time on his own.? For him to take off on a holiday, solo is frowned on, he's "married" and expected to act so. Maybe he doesn't want to. He may want to jump on his bike and roar down the Great Ocean Road, wind in his hair and free as a bird.
Get away from the daily grind, the performance report that is his life. Mentally tell his Boss, who he secretly hates to get stuffed. He may hate his wife and feels trapped in a loveless marriage. She might be a pouting beautiful women (Beautiful women are very dangerous, we are told ) that wants all the attention on her. If he spends any time on himself, grooming, he's called vain. He knows she spends hours on herself but she's called beautiful.
He may one day just want to take off, flee the time clock that measures his life in clicks. He might want to be free from constraints and society's expectations of him and become a beach bum in Bondi, ogling the chicky babes and feeling that he could attract any of them.
Thats called a mid life crisis and women don't have them as such but men do. They are not wanting to be a figure of fun but might be viewed so. An older man sporting an earring or tight jeans or buying a red sportscar, he might dye his hair or suffer facials, He is looking to reclaim his lost youth. His youth spent working, striving, setting up his life. And he's tired, Tired of competing, tired of striving, tired of not having quality to his life, balance, Who is he and what does he want ?
He has no idea !
Yes, I would hate to be a man. I know its been my popular view to man bash as my brothers tell me but they don't understand I have a real sympathy and care for men, I always have. I have seen them, my brothers go through hell at times. One went to war, three lost their first wives who they adored., They may have made it in the eyes of the world and other men but they have their problems, their heartaches, they have cried true tears of sorrow and Joy, mainly to a woman as men are made from sterner stuff.
Only with a woman can a man be himself, expose his vunerabilities but even to her he will not expose his sense of failure sometimes. He has things inside him he can never express. He may feel that he could have handled certain situations better, he might feel a heel for having to be brutal at times, he might hate himself for it. He knows when he is being a "bastard" and he might regret it but exposing it, exposes him.
Men hate rejection by a woman more than anything. And he might then let that affect him against other women who he thinks will somehow hurt him. He might turn to alcohol, drugs, gambling, pills anything to escape his feelings of inadequacy. Women usually don't have to do this, we don't have the same expectations put on us. Its neither a womens or a mans fault it just is what is.
There is no easy way out for a Man. If he divorces he views it as failure, no matter how necessary it might have been. If he's alone and lonely who does he turn to ? Not his mates as my Brother said men friends just sit around and talk "shit". A woman on the other hand has loads of support and seek it. He won't seek counselling if he is feeling "low", it's not "manly". What a load of crock.
We are all human beings, men and women, we all go through pain, heartache, loss, there is no limit to what we can go through as humans. We are human. We should not be so divided in to camps. Men cry, women cheat its not always the way people see it. What goes on behind closed doors still has the power to shock the hell out of me. Drag it out into the light I say, let men be the total package. If they want to care, let them care. if they want to condemn rape, violence, let them they have just as much a voice as women do.
Germaine Greer was a strong leader of Feminism, she still is. Men came to hate and fear feminism, so what good did we do ? It should never have been about blaming men for all the problems in the world and thats what it became. Feminist spokeswomen quietly returned to husbands after burning their bras. It should never have been about men versus women. It should have been a bout equality for all.
Love Janette
Zayn Malik, One Direction singer turns 20 today, Can you imagine being that age and having the fame he has with One Direction ? I hope he has a great family that keeps him grounded.
I feel real sympathy for Men. I would not want to be one even if you paid me.
The reason is that Men are always having to achieve and women don't.
No law says that women have to be anything that what they are. Soft, nurturing, caring, No one hands out medals for being the best Mother, the best housewife, the best lover, the best gardener, the best anything. Women can have the option to stay at home and have a hectic but pleasurable life with kids.
But men have to achieve in the outside world or they face condemnation from other Men. It might be their Father, or a brother or other males. Men have to be seen as a success to themselves, to others and that is not a pressure I would want to have. More is expected of men, often by themselves.
I am sure that there are many men that would just like to sit and contemplate the world and all its beauty. But they can't. They have to get up, shower, exercise, be on time, make themselves competent to the rest of the world. Men who stay at home for whatever reason are seen as "lazy bastards" no matter what. Its a stereotype of manhood and as all stereotypes is not correct.
I know many men that are better running their households than their wives. Sometimes the wife can earn more money or is bored at home and wants to be out in the workforce. And if she does is applauded but not so the man at home.
Men are under enormous pressure from the time they are born, they are "toughened" up from an early age. If they fall over they are told to get up, not be a sook, Girls can bawl and scream as much as they want. Boys and Men are groomed to be men. Girls are allowed to be what they want.
Girls can wear pretty dresses, dress up Dolly, be seen to be nurturing and caring and soft. Boys are expected to "suck it up". Do mothers feel that creating a man in a boy is the real thing to do. Boys can't play with dolls even if they wanted to. Except perhaps G.I. Joe and wasn;t he a best seller?
I have helped to raise many boys and yes, they like cars and trucks and planes and buses. But I have also met many young boys that like to play with a doll and they also love babies. I have one Grandson who is not the slightest bit feminine but even as a toddler loved babies. He still does and is an arrogant 16 year old now, brainy and circumspect, always vain and very good looking but there is a tenderness that comes over him we holds a baby and he wants to. That does not make him a Sissy.
I have seen dolls taken away from boys, mainly by their Dads and told that boys don't play with dolls. Who says ? Boys can play with dolls and girls can play with cars, its all up to the individual. I played Cowgirl with guns when my brothers were playing Davy Crocket. Noone said to me you can't be a tomboy, you will become too manly. And tomboy is an acceptable term for girls. What of a similar term for girlish boys, there isn't one.
Men go out in the world and fight, defend, protect and they have to show their competenct to the rest of the world. We women can also go to work or stay home and no one bothers their arse over it. We can atke all day to get the washing done or sweep the floor watch our soaps take a break, read a magazine and no one is going to be expecting anything from us. Men do not have that same privilege.
A lot of mens lives centre around work and more work in a never ending regime. They may also be trying to exercise and eat right and answer to the boss and never ever get time to be themselves. If they are married they expect of themselves to have to mow the lawns, remember to put the garbage out or get yelled at by the wife as they are the Man jobs.
He then if he wants to stay married is spend time with his partner, put her needs first, shower, shave, shit and die from heart attacks twenty years before his wife does and for what. Has he spent the time on his own.? For him to take off on a holiday, solo is frowned on, he's "married" and expected to act so. Maybe he doesn't want to. He may want to jump on his bike and roar down the Great Ocean Road, wind in his hair and free as a bird.
Get away from the daily grind, the performance report that is his life. Mentally tell his Boss, who he secretly hates to get stuffed. He may hate his wife and feels trapped in a loveless marriage. She might be a pouting beautiful women (Beautiful women are very dangerous, we are told ) that wants all the attention on her. If he spends any time on himself, grooming, he's called vain. He knows she spends hours on herself but she's called beautiful.
He may one day just want to take off, flee the time clock that measures his life in clicks. He might want to be free from constraints and society's expectations of him and become a beach bum in Bondi, ogling the chicky babes and feeling that he could attract any of them.
Thats called a mid life crisis and women don't have them as such but men do. They are not wanting to be a figure of fun but might be viewed so. An older man sporting an earring or tight jeans or buying a red sportscar, he might dye his hair or suffer facials, He is looking to reclaim his lost youth. His youth spent working, striving, setting up his life. And he's tired, Tired of competing, tired of striving, tired of not having quality to his life, balance, Who is he and what does he want ?
He has no idea !
Yes, I would hate to be a man. I know its been my popular view to man bash as my brothers tell me but they don't understand I have a real sympathy and care for men, I always have. I have seen them, my brothers go through hell at times. One went to war, three lost their first wives who they adored., They may have made it in the eyes of the world and other men but they have their problems, their heartaches, they have cried true tears of sorrow and Joy, mainly to a woman as men are made from sterner stuff.
Only with a woman can a man be himself, expose his vunerabilities but even to her he will not expose his sense of failure sometimes. He has things inside him he can never express. He may feel that he could have handled certain situations better, he might feel a heel for having to be brutal at times, he might hate himself for it. He knows when he is being a "bastard" and he might regret it but exposing it, exposes him.
Men hate rejection by a woman more than anything. And he might then let that affect him against other women who he thinks will somehow hurt him. He might turn to alcohol, drugs, gambling, pills anything to escape his feelings of inadequacy. Women usually don't have to do this, we don't have the same expectations put on us. Its neither a womens or a mans fault it just is what is.
There is no easy way out for a Man. If he divorces he views it as failure, no matter how necessary it might have been. If he's alone and lonely who does he turn to ? Not his mates as my Brother said men friends just sit around and talk "shit". A woman on the other hand has loads of support and seek it. He won't seek counselling if he is feeling "low", it's not "manly". What a load of crock.
We are all human beings, men and women, we all go through pain, heartache, loss, there is no limit to what we can go through as humans. We are human. We should not be so divided in to camps. Men cry, women cheat its not always the way people see it. What goes on behind closed doors still has the power to shock the hell out of me. Drag it out into the light I say, let men be the total package. If they want to care, let them care. if they want to condemn rape, violence, let them they have just as much a voice as women do.
Germaine Greer was a strong leader of Feminism, she still is. Men came to hate and fear feminism, so what good did we do ? It should never have been about blaming men for all the problems in the world and thats what it became. Feminist spokeswomen quietly returned to husbands after burning their bras. It should never have been about men versus women. It should have been a bout equality for all.
Love Janette
