Post Feminism and Sheryl Sandberg
Without Prejudice
Sheryl Sandberg C.O.O. Of Facebook who is worth a cool net worth of $500 million is making a big splash lately with her comments on Women. She acknowledges that men still rule the world but that Women by their own timidity are holding themselves back from " Having It All ".
We know we were promised that in the era of the Feminist Movement and that it became too radical and spent years in the doldrums hitting glass ceilings and bouncing back into the safety of home, hearth and birthing babies. Some Men became S.N.A.G.S. Sensitive New Age Guys in a backlash movement. I met one for dinner once in the old days and he was young. He said he was attending a support group for it. When he asked me if I knew what a snag was, I hesitated and replied, unsure,
" Ummm, a sausage ?"
He then told me that after he and his girlfriend broke up he was forced to join the group to learn how to be sensitive.
I can recall looking around The Keg in Nunawading and thinking if I had left my car out the back instead of the front I would have fled to the Ladies and snuck out. As it was I had to listen to his hard luck story about the Ex and commiserate as I choked down gougons of chicken and could think of nothing but wanting the evening to end. It was interminable. Not much joy, there.
I insisted on paying for my own meal by the way, I hate being beholden and promised to call him at some other time, which I never did. I figured that someone that had to learn how to be sensitive was not sensitive at all and was probably a prick. That ended my involvement with youngsters for a While. They didn't have enough life experience for me and have not really changed my mind about that fact. That and the tunes.
If they don't know your tunes, the music from my era, I find I can't relate to them. And my knowledge of music is vast, having a musician Dad changed me for all time. Dad lived all music from Ella Firzgerald to ZZTop and loved it all. He hated off key singers and could be heard to mutter,
" Oh, shit ! "
under his breath, when anyone was off key. And he taught us to listen, to the good, the bad, and the spaces between notes. Bad music was his pet hate. He was sensitive to it, music was his blood and bad music hurt his ears.
My Sister is a great singer and it is one of the talents I wish I had but it's not to be, my Mum liked to write and I inherited that talent. You can't have everything and Dad did get three musical children out of seven and Joyce my half Sister who lived in London and eventually married a famous composer arranger, John Fox, who played for the BBC.
I am of the opinion that Men still rule the world and whether that fact depresses a lot of Women, as I know it does, is just to me, at this age a fact of life. In America which has a largely matriarchal society a woman has probably more chance to be heard. The U.K. too, as family life is more revered there but on the whole Australia remains a strongly patriarchal society. The days of The Little "Sheila" are not that long ago in our past.
That's O.K. It's a fact of life that no longer bothers me, as it did once. Men still have to go out and fight for their place in the world, work for a Boss, and often whether they like it or not. Women of my age have a choice, or I do. I down graded my lifestyle so I did not and do not have to. In my era it is considered that we were only skilled enough to be Wives and Mothers. Hence I am on a Widows Allowance, when my ex husband is very much alive. Weird !
When I queried the term, Widows Allowance from good old Centrelink, I was told, just that. That women of my era were only considered to be Wives and Mothers and not skilled in anything else. Perhaps they should have told me that before I went back to School at 32 and gained my V.C.E , passing English with honours and gaining a place ar Rusden Teachers College. Or Monash Uni as it is now.
But it hasn't been wasted, all my education, as I write for a living now, a starving author in a garret. And it's not that bad having less and enjoying it more. When I was at a desk like Sheryl, I felt like I was frustrated, bored and almost chained to the phone and computer. Men made my decisions for me and nothing sent me more barmy. I had been used to being a Boss and making all the decisions and being compliant and demure was never going to sit well with me.
I would argue, be bossy and defiant. Not good. So now I am my own boss and get to do what I want within reason. I still have people that I have to answer to, my readers, and they will cut me down if they don't like my stuff. But I can choose my own hours, do something I love and always feel sad when ending a piece. But then there is always another story, somewhere.m
Thank you for reading my scribbles my darling readers, I am forever grateful.
Love Janette
Sheryl Sandberg C.O.O. Of Facebook who is worth a cool net worth of $500 million is making a big splash lately with her comments on Women. She acknowledges that men still rule the world but that Women by their own timidity are holding themselves back from " Having It All ".
We know we were promised that in the era of the Feminist Movement and that it became too radical and spent years in the doldrums hitting glass ceilings and bouncing back into the safety of home, hearth and birthing babies. Some Men became S.N.A.G.S. Sensitive New Age Guys in a backlash movement. I met one for dinner once in the old days and he was young. He said he was attending a support group for it. When he asked me if I knew what a snag was, I hesitated and replied, unsure,
" Ummm, a sausage ?"
He then told me that after he and his girlfriend broke up he was forced to join the group to learn how to be sensitive.
I can recall looking around The Keg in Nunawading and thinking if I had left my car out the back instead of the front I would have fled to the Ladies and snuck out. As it was I had to listen to his hard luck story about the Ex and commiserate as I choked down gougons of chicken and could think of nothing but wanting the evening to end. It was interminable. Not much joy, there.
I insisted on paying for my own meal by the way, I hate being beholden and promised to call him at some other time, which I never did. I figured that someone that had to learn how to be sensitive was not sensitive at all and was probably a prick. That ended my involvement with youngsters for a While. They didn't have enough life experience for me and have not really changed my mind about that fact. That and the tunes.
If they don't know your tunes, the music from my era, I find I can't relate to them. And my knowledge of music is vast, having a musician Dad changed me for all time. Dad lived all music from Ella Firzgerald to ZZTop and loved it all. He hated off key singers and could be heard to mutter,
" Oh, shit ! "
under his breath, when anyone was off key. And he taught us to listen, to the good, the bad, and the spaces between notes. Bad music was his pet hate. He was sensitive to it, music was his blood and bad music hurt his ears.
My Sister is a great singer and it is one of the talents I wish I had but it's not to be, my Mum liked to write and I inherited that talent. You can't have everything and Dad did get three musical children out of seven and Joyce my half Sister who lived in London and eventually married a famous composer arranger, John Fox, who played for the BBC.
I am of the opinion that Men still rule the world and whether that fact depresses a lot of Women, as I know it does, is just to me, at this age a fact of life. In America which has a largely matriarchal society a woman has probably more chance to be heard. The U.K. too, as family life is more revered there but on the whole Australia remains a strongly patriarchal society. The days of The Little "Sheila" are not that long ago in our past.
That's O.K. It's a fact of life that no longer bothers me, as it did once. Men still have to go out and fight for their place in the world, work for a Boss, and often whether they like it or not. Women of my age have a choice, or I do. I down graded my lifestyle so I did not and do not have to. In my era it is considered that we were only skilled enough to be Wives and Mothers. Hence I am on a Widows Allowance, when my ex husband is very much alive. Weird !
When I queried the term, Widows Allowance from good old Centrelink, I was told, just that. That women of my era were only considered to be Wives and Mothers and not skilled in anything else. Perhaps they should have told me that before I went back to School at 32 and gained my V.C.E , passing English with honours and gaining a place ar Rusden Teachers College. Or Monash Uni as it is now.
But it hasn't been wasted, all my education, as I write for a living now, a starving author in a garret. And it's not that bad having less and enjoying it more. When I was at a desk like Sheryl, I felt like I was frustrated, bored and almost chained to the phone and computer. Men made my decisions for me and nothing sent me more barmy. I had been used to being a Boss and making all the decisions and being compliant and demure was never going to sit well with me.
I would argue, be bossy and defiant. Not good. So now I am my own boss and get to do what I want within reason. I still have people that I have to answer to, my readers, and they will cut me down if they don't like my stuff. But I can choose my own hours, do something I love and always feel sad when ending a piece. But then there is always another story, somewhere.m
Thank you for reading my scribbles my darling readers, I am forever grateful.
Love Janette
