Loving Men
Without Prejudice
I was lucky that I had my Dad as my first role model. he was a good Dad for a girl to have. Kind, loving, affectionate, hard working. he was also a muso, loved women. all women, was a con man at times and a pathological liar at times. I learned a lot about men from My Dad. Good and bad.
I hated boys from a young age, dirty, smelly and said bad things. I had brothers and Ian could be an absolute bastard and so could George. Dave was younger than me and a cute sweet boy. Jamie was in heaven and was a saint as far as I was concerned. I can't remember Jamie being mean, but Ian and George, Oh Boy !
They either treated me as a pest they had to just put up with, being a "girl" or they had to do shitty things like putting chillies on my tongue or chasing me with spiders or other disgusting things. Ian kept dead insects in his room pinned to boards. he mashed a cream bun into my face, barely spoke to me unless he was telling me off.
He announced to all and sundry when he was older that he "hated" his Sisters and Jackie and I sat back and thought,
"You pig".
Ian was always so much older and remote and he was always like a stranger to me.
He was better when he was an adult and I adore him now and think he is the brainiest man I know and he is. Unbelievably intelligent. he's more human these days and he was soooo good to me when Lauren died. Our relationship changed then and I saw him for the caring Man he was.
George and I fought from day one. He was jealous of me as a baby and stole my bottles and drank them and put them back empty. He was only 19 months old when I was born so it was normal for him to be jealous of the new baby. I hung around with George the most and he was always doing something scary and dangerous. He set himself alight with petrol, goit thrown out of Nursery school and threw tantrums regularly.
I look at him now, the contented Business Man and he's calm and placid these days and is still a child at heart. Love fightimg with him still. I give him what for verbally as he does me and then we end up hugging and making up. He's a big cuddly bear of a Brother and so kind to me. He also stepped up when Lauren died. I will never forget his harsh sobs standing next to me. Man sobs.
Davis was a dream of a child, sweet locing innocent. He was mine and Jackies play thing, our toy. I never forget when we went to the UK and he became Dalek Dave, for a while. When he was about 5 he was a dog for a year. he would just woof in answer to any question. And now he is this mega businessman and thinks he can tell me what to do. Now I listen rather than biting his head off. He's a great guy Dave, they all are my brothers and they are always telling me off, still.
So my male role models were my brothers and Dad. So when boys started to follow me home when I was 5, I was a fierce little bitch,
"Go away", I said to one, "You give me a headache" I was 5
They were a headache, boys are just silly and mean when you are a girl. they say disgusting things, they are always dirty and don't wash and chase you with snails and dead things. I knew I was a girl and I was supposed to be a lady like my older sis but I wasn't. Not on the outside anyway.
I was freckled and plain with straw like hair and a big squint as I was so short sighted. I laugh when I see photos of myself as a child. Jackie all neat and plaited hair and Janette with her head to one side, squinting, with faded red speedos, ( I hadn't graduated to the Jantzens, just yet ! )
So if a boy was chasing after me, I had to wonder, Why?
But they did for ever and anon and I could not figure out why, ever. I thought I was truly revolting and wondered what on earth posessed them to want me. I guess I had strong self of self even then. I knew I was brainy and educated, loved and secure, so I didn't "need" to have a boyfriend. What for ?
Even at 15, when other girls at my Grammar School bragged about having sex with boys, I would think
"How revolting"
And I thought the same even when I was married and had kids. Half the time I would think,
"Is that it ? "
"Is that all they are raving about/"
To Be Continued LOve Janette
I was lucky that I had my Dad as my first role model. he was a good Dad for a girl to have. Kind, loving, affectionate, hard working. he was also a muso, loved women. all women, was a con man at times and a pathological liar at times. I learned a lot about men from My Dad. Good and bad.
I hated boys from a young age, dirty, smelly and said bad things. I had brothers and Ian could be an absolute bastard and so could George. Dave was younger than me and a cute sweet boy. Jamie was in heaven and was a saint as far as I was concerned. I can't remember Jamie being mean, but Ian and George, Oh Boy !
They either treated me as a pest they had to just put up with, being a "girl" or they had to do shitty things like putting chillies on my tongue or chasing me with spiders or other disgusting things. Ian kept dead insects in his room pinned to boards. he mashed a cream bun into my face, barely spoke to me unless he was telling me off.
He announced to all and sundry when he was older that he "hated" his Sisters and Jackie and I sat back and thought,
"You pig".
Ian was always so much older and remote and he was always like a stranger to me.
He was better when he was an adult and I adore him now and think he is the brainiest man I know and he is. Unbelievably intelligent. he's more human these days and he was soooo good to me when Lauren died. Our relationship changed then and I saw him for the caring Man he was.
George and I fought from day one. He was jealous of me as a baby and stole my bottles and drank them and put them back empty. He was only 19 months old when I was born so it was normal for him to be jealous of the new baby. I hung around with George the most and he was always doing something scary and dangerous. He set himself alight with petrol, goit thrown out of Nursery school and threw tantrums regularly.
I look at him now, the contented Business Man and he's calm and placid these days and is still a child at heart. Love fightimg with him still. I give him what for verbally as he does me and then we end up hugging and making up. He's a big cuddly bear of a Brother and so kind to me. He also stepped up when Lauren died. I will never forget his harsh sobs standing next to me. Man sobs.
Davis was a dream of a child, sweet locing innocent. He was mine and Jackies play thing, our toy. I never forget when we went to the UK and he became Dalek Dave, for a while. When he was about 5 he was a dog for a year. he would just woof in answer to any question. And now he is this mega businessman and thinks he can tell me what to do. Now I listen rather than biting his head off. He's a great guy Dave, they all are my brothers and they are always telling me off, still.
So my male role models were my brothers and Dad. So when boys started to follow me home when I was 5, I was a fierce little bitch,
"Go away", I said to one, "You give me a headache" I was 5
They were a headache, boys are just silly and mean when you are a girl. they say disgusting things, they are always dirty and don't wash and chase you with snails and dead things. I knew I was a girl and I was supposed to be a lady like my older sis but I wasn't. Not on the outside anyway.
I was freckled and plain with straw like hair and a big squint as I was so short sighted. I laugh when I see photos of myself as a child. Jackie all neat and plaited hair and Janette with her head to one side, squinting, with faded red speedos, ( I hadn't graduated to the Jantzens, just yet ! )
So if a boy was chasing after me, I had to wonder, Why?
But they did for ever and anon and I could not figure out why, ever. I thought I was truly revolting and wondered what on earth posessed them to want me. I guess I had strong self of self even then. I knew I was brainy and educated, loved and secure, so I didn't "need" to have a boyfriend. What for ?
Even at 15, when other girls at my Grammar School bragged about having sex with boys, I would think
"How revolting"
And I thought the same even when I was married and had kids. Half the time I would think,
"Is that it ? "
"Is that all they are raving about/"
To Be Continued LOve Janette
