Debbie and Yvette Babies
Without Prejudice
I brought Yvette home on Debbie's first birthday. Debbie looked so BIG when she came home from the babysitters. So big and so beautiful, just a baby and I had another baby.
Sailing through the pregnancy at 19 and getting thin which was strange as I had started off the pregnancy with post baby weight from Debbie.
I cried when I was first pregnant, fearing Debbie would never be babied enough, and I hugged her close all the time as if to will more love than before.
The Doctor I had Dr Martin in Murrumbeena was a heart specialist and took me on as a patient for pregnancy. I was so lucky to have him as he gave me an epidural when I was 18 and having Debbie.
Unusual and rare in 1970.
He was a dapper little man, not unlike Agatha Christies, Hercule Poirot, without the moustache. he was quite old at that time. He warned me to put on no weight during the pregnancy and I didn't.
Ending up less at the end of the pregnancy than when I started. Yvette came in a rush of broken waters and there was no time for an epidural and I likened it to having a tooth out with a numbing needle and no needle at all.
It was a shock after Debbie's pain free delivery and Yvette was a sweet little pretty bundle with auburn curls that the nurses put in bows.
I took her home and my brother and girlfriend were there and I left the baby with them while B took me shopping to Chadstone. I had decided against breast feeding Yvette so I could go on the pill. They gave me tiny tablets to dry up my milk.
I managed but barely with two babies under 12 months. I really struggled at times and after a while realised I probably had post baby blues for a long time.
We lived in an old house in Oakleigh in those days. Old and big and comfy, we had a big 21sr party for George, my brother, who was still living with us. We relied on his board money for food and we had by then had him living with us for a few years by then.
B and him had only one fight I am aware of and George stayed out of his line of fire, getting new friends and a girlfriend, the sweet Karin who was just 15.
We met our new neighbours and invited them too. They were also young and had two babies also. Wendy and I became firm friends and watched over each others babies and dined together.
Elle still came over and cheered me up and helped me care for the babies and when she did she ate absolutely nothing proffered.
Karin and I did, but Elle, nothing. I admired her constraint but she said she had been an enormously fat child and had learned not to eat much.
I didn't altogether trust her around my husband as they had once been engaged and I knew she still carried feelings for him, but figured if it hadn't worked out the first time it wouldn't be anything to worry about then.
I was so wrong but wasn't to know, I was in love and hoping like mad things would work out. We are all wise in hindsight but I should have seen the signs sooner. She was obsessed with B, her own hubby a cold and undemonstrative man.
He hated B with a passion and vice versa. I knew it would not turn out well and it didn't. He left long before the other husbands did, and Elle was never as happy and I noted that down.
She led the way for a lot of us and that is why I am good friends with her, to me she always will be and some people find that unusual but I like her and I always have.
We have been through so much together, her still born child, her "downy", now who she nurses with compassion and pride.
She was older and took me out of the housewife, Mother, Wife role and was there for me in the tough times. Minding the babies when I had flu or was fed up and me taking hers.
The bonds of friendship coming out of the years spent together and her life is not good even now. One son a long time drug user and one daughter turning "strange" for a while.
In defiance to her "born again" religious stance which took her over after her Mum died, her being the only child and adored her Mother.
She told me she was still crying 5 years later and I told her to get counselling, which she did and decided then to turn to religion with a fierce approach and it scared a lot of people off her.
Not me. I knew she would move through it and come out the other side. She said to me she should have taken the test I recommended when she was having a baby at 47.
But didn't, as her religious views by then would not allow her to terminate if something was wrong.
And it was. Having a Down Syndrome boy who was loved and is gorgeous, but for his sake and maybe the siblings, it's a hard road and I feel for her.
And my gorgeous babies, grew up into fine women, compassionate and caring and strong, honest, helping others and that is what I wanted for them. always.
And Never take the girls on, not en masse anyway as they eat predators for a living. That is one thing they inherited from my ex. he taught them to box when they were picked on at school.
And they never forgot the lessons. Alena chasing a woman through the car park the other day and ready to run her down if she had to, so angry she was.
And Yvette will never back down from an argument, knowing exactly what she wants and getting it. She's so fierce when riled.
And Debbie. Big tall Debbie, who has knocked out grown men with her bare fists.
Her and Yvette fighting with two girls in a car park and Debbie getting the last word in,
"Nice GOLD shoes",
the best insult from a stylish Melbourne girl to a Queenslander casually dressed. the final insult at the shoes as no one in Melbourne would be seen dead in gold shoes in daylight hours.
The girl shut up straight away, and once when we went to the Myer windows a woman picked on Debbie's foster sister.
MB had innocently ended up at the front of the crowd and a woman berated her, a voice coming from the back of the crowd,
"Why don't you shut your mouth, she didn't mean it"
And then when Debbie's hubby started backing up the street, deb exploded, which I knew she would and had more to say,
"You fat wog"
There it was done and the woman turned around and apologised to MB and all was good.
No one crosses Debbie and comes away unscathed as she has this unbelievable strength and stunning natural beauty. Her teeth perfect, her whole demeanour a lady.
And she is so funny and caring and gets her heart broken easily, and I will never forget when we were allowed to see Lauren's ashes for the first time at Christmas.
That first awful Christmas with out her, coming three weeks after Lauren drowned, and she hugged that sad plastic beige box and covered it in kisses and we all cried.
It was truly awful.
She also made me give up that same sad box five years later as the girls wanted a memorial for her. Somewhere to take their kids and to lay flowers and presents and Xmas trees and take photos.
And I did, I gave them up, realising it was selfish to keep them and not share them with her family. The girls picked out what they wanted and it was a great big boulder with her nameplate.
And space for five more plaques and plants growing all around, one year a plant sending up one big tendril into the air. And the flower at the top growing in the shape of a heart.
Unbelievable!
Yvette takes the boys there and they think of Lauren as a darling Auntie that looks after them from above. All the grandkids know her and love her and know she wished them into being. And how she would have loved them.
So much life from two babies, 12 months apart and rivalling each other for attention. 9 kids between them, now and Yvette's oldest boy making me a great Grandmother next year.
My ex called him a "Loser", as he was in trouble last year. But then he completely changed his life around, not following in his Father's footsteps at all.
And my ex no great example as he was locked up in McGill Reform School in S.A. after his parents sent him to his Uncle there as he was uncontrollable. Funny the things people forget, isn't it???
Kyle now manages a Liquor Shop and that's great as he doesn't drink. He been there all year and works 6-7 days a week. Paying his own rent and loves his "special Girl" who carries his baby.
And there won't be a better looked after baby that theirs. They both know what it's like to be homeless and despairing and they are both old before their time.
He drives an Audi that he owns and I can't imagine his grandfather being able to do the same at Kyle's age of 22, so who cares about names.
Kyle knows he is a fine man and leads a good life. Everyone thought he would turn out like his Dad, the hapless Simon. But he didn't. He tried for a while, but had none of his Fathers anger or addictions.
And Debbie and Yvette And I and Alena, "look out for him", as we know he's a real special person.
Love Janette
I brought Yvette home on Debbie's first birthday. Debbie looked so BIG when she came home from the babysitters. So big and so beautiful, just a baby and I had another baby.
Sailing through the pregnancy at 19 and getting thin which was strange as I had started off the pregnancy with post baby weight from Debbie.
I cried when I was first pregnant, fearing Debbie would never be babied enough, and I hugged her close all the time as if to will more love than before.
The Doctor I had Dr Martin in Murrumbeena was a heart specialist and took me on as a patient for pregnancy. I was so lucky to have him as he gave me an epidural when I was 18 and having Debbie.
Unusual and rare in 1970.
He was a dapper little man, not unlike Agatha Christies, Hercule Poirot, without the moustache. he was quite old at that time. He warned me to put on no weight during the pregnancy and I didn't.
Ending up less at the end of the pregnancy than when I started. Yvette came in a rush of broken waters and there was no time for an epidural and I likened it to having a tooth out with a numbing needle and no needle at all.
It was a shock after Debbie's pain free delivery and Yvette was a sweet little pretty bundle with auburn curls that the nurses put in bows.
I took her home and my brother and girlfriend were there and I left the baby with them while B took me shopping to Chadstone. I had decided against breast feeding Yvette so I could go on the pill. They gave me tiny tablets to dry up my milk.
I managed but barely with two babies under 12 months. I really struggled at times and after a while realised I probably had post baby blues for a long time.
We lived in an old house in Oakleigh in those days. Old and big and comfy, we had a big 21sr party for George, my brother, who was still living with us. We relied on his board money for food and we had by then had him living with us for a few years by then.
B and him had only one fight I am aware of and George stayed out of his line of fire, getting new friends and a girlfriend, the sweet Karin who was just 15.
We met our new neighbours and invited them too. They were also young and had two babies also. Wendy and I became firm friends and watched over each others babies and dined together.
Elle still came over and cheered me up and helped me care for the babies and when she did she ate absolutely nothing proffered.
Karin and I did, but Elle, nothing. I admired her constraint but she said she had been an enormously fat child and had learned not to eat much.
I didn't altogether trust her around my husband as they had once been engaged and I knew she still carried feelings for him, but figured if it hadn't worked out the first time it wouldn't be anything to worry about then.
I was so wrong but wasn't to know, I was in love and hoping like mad things would work out. We are all wise in hindsight but I should have seen the signs sooner. She was obsessed with B, her own hubby a cold and undemonstrative man.
He hated B with a passion and vice versa. I knew it would not turn out well and it didn't. He left long before the other husbands did, and Elle was never as happy and I noted that down.
She led the way for a lot of us and that is why I am good friends with her, to me she always will be and some people find that unusual but I like her and I always have.
We have been through so much together, her still born child, her "downy", now who she nurses with compassion and pride.
She was older and took me out of the housewife, Mother, Wife role and was there for me in the tough times. Minding the babies when I had flu or was fed up and me taking hers.
The bonds of friendship coming out of the years spent together and her life is not good even now. One son a long time drug user and one daughter turning "strange" for a while.
In defiance to her "born again" religious stance which took her over after her Mum died, her being the only child and adored her Mother.
She told me she was still crying 5 years later and I told her to get counselling, which she did and decided then to turn to religion with a fierce approach and it scared a lot of people off her.
Not me. I knew she would move through it and come out the other side. She said to me she should have taken the test I recommended when she was having a baby at 47.
But didn't, as her religious views by then would not allow her to terminate if something was wrong.
And it was. Having a Down Syndrome boy who was loved and is gorgeous, but for his sake and maybe the siblings, it's a hard road and I feel for her.
And my gorgeous babies, grew up into fine women, compassionate and caring and strong, honest, helping others and that is what I wanted for them. always.
And Never take the girls on, not en masse anyway as they eat predators for a living. That is one thing they inherited from my ex. he taught them to box when they were picked on at school.
And they never forgot the lessons. Alena chasing a woman through the car park the other day and ready to run her down if she had to, so angry she was.
And Yvette will never back down from an argument, knowing exactly what she wants and getting it. She's so fierce when riled.
And Debbie. Big tall Debbie, who has knocked out grown men with her bare fists.
Her and Yvette fighting with two girls in a car park and Debbie getting the last word in,
"Nice GOLD shoes",
the best insult from a stylish Melbourne girl to a Queenslander casually dressed. the final insult at the shoes as no one in Melbourne would be seen dead in gold shoes in daylight hours.
The girl shut up straight away, and once when we went to the Myer windows a woman picked on Debbie's foster sister.
MB had innocently ended up at the front of the crowd and a woman berated her, a voice coming from the back of the crowd,
"Why don't you shut your mouth, she didn't mean it"
And then when Debbie's hubby started backing up the street, deb exploded, which I knew she would and had more to say,
"You fat wog"
There it was done and the woman turned around and apologised to MB and all was good.
No one crosses Debbie and comes away unscathed as she has this unbelievable strength and stunning natural beauty. Her teeth perfect, her whole demeanour a lady.
And she is so funny and caring and gets her heart broken easily, and I will never forget when we were allowed to see Lauren's ashes for the first time at Christmas.
That first awful Christmas with out her, coming three weeks after Lauren drowned, and she hugged that sad plastic beige box and covered it in kisses and we all cried.
It was truly awful.
She also made me give up that same sad box five years later as the girls wanted a memorial for her. Somewhere to take their kids and to lay flowers and presents and Xmas trees and take photos.
And I did, I gave them up, realising it was selfish to keep them and not share them with her family. The girls picked out what they wanted and it was a great big boulder with her nameplate.
And space for five more plaques and plants growing all around, one year a plant sending up one big tendril into the air. And the flower at the top growing in the shape of a heart.
Unbelievable!
Yvette takes the boys there and they think of Lauren as a darling Auntie that looks after them from above. All the grandkids know her and love her and know she wished them into being. And how she would have loved them.
So much life from two babies, 12 months apart and rivalling each other for attention. 9 kids between them, now and Yvette's oldest boy making me a great Grandmother next year.
My ex called him a "Loser", as he was in trouble last year. But then he completely changed his life around, not following in his Father's footsteps at all.
And my ex no great example as he was locked up in McGill Reform School in S.A. after his parents sent him to his Uncle there as he was uncontrollable. Funny the things people forget, isn't it???
Kyle now manages a Liquor Shop and that's great as he doesn't drink. He been there all year and works 6-7 days a week. Paying his own rent and loves his "special Girl" who carries his baby.
And there won't be a better looked after baby that theirs. They both know what it's like to be homeless and despairing and they are both old before their time.
He drives an Audi that he owns and I can't imagine his grandfather being able to do the same at Kyle's age of 22, so who cares about names.
Kyle knows he is a fine man and leads a good life. Everyone thought he would turn out like his Dad, the hapless Simon. But he didn't. He tried for a while, but had none of his Fathers anger or addictions.
And Debbie and Yvette And I and Alena, "look out for him", as we know he's a real special person.
Love Janette
