Weight Is a weighty issue
Without Prejudice
For women, weight is a major issue, I feel so much more confident for losing 10 kilos. I can't imagine a man being as thrilled.
Men's self image tied up with their careers.
and Women's tied up with their body.
So for a woman once she becomes thinner she becomes more confident.
There is nothing nice about your body if you see it as loathsome. Yvette always did, to her any fat was taboo and she told me the way it works, anorexia that is.
Once you get to a certain weight probably too low, your mind starts to work against your body, your mind saying when your body is telling you it's hungry,
"Don't eat it, it looks dry, looks like it will stick in your throat, it looks disgusting"
When she was 37 kilos and her hips jutted out, Debbie freaked,
"Mum, you better do something about Yvette, she looks like she's anorexic, I just saw her in front of the heater and her bones in her knees are jutting out."
I rushed to the lounge room and looked at the stick figure dressed only in a towel and I felt sick. She knew she was in trouble and when I took her to the doctors he suggested little and often, one less kilo and she was going to hospital.
Maddy had it too and she said the same as Yvette. She through her school was forced to go to the "Butterfly" program at Dandy Hospital, but it didn't work and she started cutting herself.
So we talked Yvette into eating for Kyle's sake, at first tiny pieces of steamed dim sims and tiny sips of milk shake. Just little bits and then when she gets up to a bout 42, she will start to eat.
It's funny as Yvette loves food, loves lasagna and chocolate. She found the secret years later was if she forced herself to have breakfast her body would remember to eat.
If she didn't her body simply "forgot" to eat.
And then she would not eat all day. So we convinced her she needed to be healthy to look after Kyle at 6 months stage at that time.
She had post natal, I saw it the moment Kyle was born and two weeks later her baby sister died, she was not well. As usual Debbie, Alena, and I took up the slack.
We made sure she was stabilised as once she was she was a fantastic Mother, but at first it only came in flashes. And we played with him and fed him and for the first 5 years of his life if he was tucked up in bed warm and safe, I could relax.
That was always my first goal, keep him happy and force her into recovery. We banned Simon after a while the Father of Kyle as he had his own "issues" and Yvette was trying to make it work.
When she is in control of her mind and happiness she truly does just love kids and always wanted a lot. Having 7 boys and they run her off her feet.
but I found that my body did not give up my weight until I had released all these stories and it was a body I remembered. Being athletic and fit at 14 and skinny child and skinny young Mum, when I was unhappy I was a fat bloated, hugely busted individual.
I like fat, I see nothing wrong with it, and I have always had Big men in my life, not liking skinny males at all. To me they have to be solid and large, protectors and I love that about them.
But now that I am within reach of my goal, I can't believe it. bras, go around me twice just about, but I continue to wear the same old fat clothes.
Not yet being able to adjust. Helen my sis had the gastric banding as she had always been BIG, and by the time she was 40 she was so sick of it.
So she had the surgery and went from a 100 kilos to 69. She said the same thing. her mind would not adjust to her being smaller. She looked in the mirror and thought she was still fat in her head.
And she had brain hunger, but then could not eat much, just the tiniest amount. She found it difficult for the first 12 months. There was no reason for them to go to restaurants, she would just sit and not eat.
She found crackers OK and was terrified anything else would get "stuck", but she persevered and looks fabulous, younger, fitter, prettier, just gorgeous.
I was the only sister who was skinny as a child, but I was a fussy eater and ran with the boys all the time. I was always called the brainy one or the little bookworm and you should never label a child.
Jackie was the Singer, George the angry, Dave the sweet baby, Helen the spoilt, Ian the distant, Jamie never mentioned.
And there is self fulfilling prophecies in being labelled. I became very brainy but I was also a show off, really competitive, and as Jackie was the straight one.
I became the rebel one, the outrageous, say anything one. The yelling, vindictive angry one after Lauren died, drifting off to grief land in between. I smoked and drank unlike any of my siblings. I didn't care after Lauren died.
I found that once I started writing these stories I became sometimes angry when I was writing, or saddened or frustrated but ultimately it was cathartic. And by the writing, it made me less angry.
Or more. But the important thing was it was mine, all mine, my words my thoughts, my life. And I found out people are liking them and ask for the updates or the next instalment.
It thrills me no end, and Something the girls and I had always hidden was dragged out into the light and even though we were hurt, we decided to forgive and move on.......
And this is remembered by all of us
Love Janette
For women, weight is a major issue, I feel so much more confident for losing 10 kilos. I can't imagine a man being as thrilled.
Men's self image tied up with their careers.
and Women's tied up with their body.
So for a woman once she becomes thinner she becomes more confident.
There is nothing nice about your body if you see it as loathsome. Yvette always did, to her any fat was taboo and she told me the way it works, anorexia that is.
Once you get to a certain weight probably too low, your mind starts to work against your body, your mind saying when your body is telling you it's hungry,
"Don't eat it, it looks dry, looks like it will stick in your throat, it looks disgusting"
When she was 37 kilos and her hips jutted out, Debbie freaked,
"Mum, you better do something about Yvette, she looks like she's anorexic, I just saw her in front of the heater and her bones in her knees are jutting out."
I rushed to the lounge room and looked at the stick figure dressed only in a towel and I felt sick. She knew she was in trouble and when I took her to the doctors he suggested little and often, one less kilo and she was going to hospital.
Maddy had it too and she said the same as Yvette. She through her school was forced to go to the "Butterfly" program at Dandy Hospital, but it didn't work and she started cutting herself.
So we talked Yvette into eating for Kyle's sake, at first tiny pieces of steamed dim sims and tiny sips of milk shake. Just little bits and then when she gets up to a bout 42, she will start to eat.
It's funny as Yvette loves food, loves lasagna and chocolate. She found the secret years later was if she forced herself to have breakfast her body would remember to eat.
If she didn't her body simply "forgot" to eat.
And then she would not eat all day. So we convinced her she needed to be healthy to look after Kyle at 6 months stage at that time.
She had post natal, I saw it the moment Kyle was born and two weeks later her baby sister died, she was not well. As usual Debbie, Alena, and I took up the slack.
We made sure she was stabilised as once she was she was a fantastic Mother, but at first it only came in flashes. And we played with him and fed him and for the first 5 years of his life if he was tucked up in bed warm and safe, I could relax.
That was always my first goal, keep him happy and force her into recovery. We banned Simon after a while the Father of Kyle as he had his own "issues" and Yvette was trying to make it work.
When she is in control of her mind and happiness she truly does just love kids and always wanted a lot. Having 7 boys and they run her off her feet.
but I found that my body did not give up my weight until I had released all these stories and it was a body I remembered. Being athletic and fit at 14 and skinny child and skinny young Mum, when I was unhappy I was a fat bloated, hugely busted individual.
I like fat, I see nothing wrong with it, and I have always had Big men in my life, not liking skinny males at all. To me they have to be solid and large, protectors and I love that about them.
But now that I am within reach of my goal, I can't believe it. bras, go around me twice just about, but I continue to wear the same old fat clothes.
Not yet being able to adjust. Helen my sis had the gastric banding as she had always been BIG, and by the time she was 40 she was so sick of it.
So she had the surgery and went from a 100 kilos to 69. She said the same thing. her mind would not adjust to her being smaller. She looked in the mirror and thought she was still fat in her head.
And she had brain hunger, but then could not eat much, just the tiniest amount. She found it difficult for the first 12 months. There was no reason for them to go to restaurants, she would just sit and not eat.
She found crackers OK and was terrified anything else would get "stuck", but she persevered and looks fabulous, younger, fitter, prettier, just gorgeous.
I was the only sister who was skinny as a child, but I was a fussy eater and ran with the boys all the time. I was always called the brainy one or the little bookworm and you should never label a child.
Jackie was the Singer, George the angry, Dave the sweet baby, Helen the spoilt, Ian the distant, Jamie never mentioned.
And there is self fulfilling prophecies in being labelled. I became very brainy but I was also a show off, really competitive, and as Jackie was the straight one.
I became the rebel one, the outrageous, say anything one. The yelling, vindictive angry one after Lauren died, drifting off to grief land in between. I smoked and drank unlike any of my siblings. I didn't care after Lauren died.
I found that once I started writing these stories I became sometimes angry when I was writing, or saddened or frustrated but ultimately it was cathartic. And by the writing, it made me less angry.
Or more. But the important thing was it was mine, all mine, my words my thoughts, my life. And I found out people are liking them and ask for the updates or the next instalment.
It thrills me no end, and Something the girls and I had always hidden was dragged out into the light and even though we were hurt, we decided to forgive and move on.......
And this is remembered by all of us
Love Janette
