Moving On
Without Prejudice
Moving on for some people is the hardest thing to do, and It's a shame, as they should.
If someone is not your partner in life, your protector, "taking a bullet" for you, then they're the wrong one.
I've had a lovely man for the last three years and for that time he made my heart sing, soar. We had our secret times full of promise for something to grow, and I knew he felt it just as much as I did, and baggage interrupted.
I had to go away and decide what I wanted and as ever I wanted "more" and I feel I deserve it. So I let him go and he let me go
And he knew nothing about me. That at heart I am a Freedom Fighter, that I like to "help", and I guess in this cynical day and age thats hard to believe but for me, Deb, Yvette, Alena it is something we do as narural as breathing.
We love it or we wouldn't do it, when we help shape a life we are happy women.
I only told him parts of my life to amuse and I am sure he thought we were a bunch of misfits, thinking he had the right to tell me off about my life and family, and I was outraged.
He lived in the high powered world of big business and he is Teflon coated from the struggles of every day life.
He told me that he thought squid and chips would replace the humble Fish and Chips, that he was buying a TV on special for his child and I said,
"You're not putting a TV in a bedroom of a little girl, I had 4 daughters, now grown.
"Oh, no, she has her own lounge room"
At 6
Then he said,
"I'm thinking about buying another property. 4 Mill."
"You don't live that much in the one you have already"
And I looked at him in amazement, at that time I was taking care of 4 kids that weren't mine and sending them to school. I lived in the "real world" where it's shall I buy the one that's two for one or the one I save a dollar on.
I would love to rush into a Supermarket and just buy anything I want, but I can't, don't.
And he asked me to look at his new toy, a new car, lovely, rushing off as ever to disappear back into the life of ruthlessness and deals and I went back inside to make roast rack of lamb for my boarder.
I'm sure he thought it was amusing to "lower" his standards, he still lives in a class, he upper echelon and me just a pleb.
Silly Bugger
And now I have Alena telling me to "lower my standards" as she wants me to settle down with a man, my man. And Marry and be happy. And I have been married and I didn't like it, not with "him", anyway, it was always a battle, every day, a new battle and it was exhausting and frustrating and ultimately unrewarding except for the girls.
And my girls have had to have counselling over the years as have I, because of what he put us through.
Very easy to forgive and not so easy to forget, but I've written it out and I love the fact that we survived and we are all OK.
He no doubt regrets it maybe now, grabbing one of his grand daughters up once and hugging her as his wife hadn't noticed or cared she had been injured.
And he went berserk so I am glad for that, it's a shame he doesn't see them all, as I know he loves kids, especially grand daughters, reminding him of his girls.
Alena has her man and he'd take a bullet for her.
At home I am just a woman helping to raise kids, writing blogs, live in a "Shoebox", no dancing before the bright lights for this Mum.
It's not that I don't want to go to fancy places and get out, I do, but I am just so content to be doing what I am doing. And I will try and lower my standards and meet a nice normal bloke, who loves me to bits and will take a bullet for me,
Just so the girls will get off my back !
Love Mum xo
Moving on for some people is the hardest thing to do, and It's a shame, as they should.
If someone is not your partner in life, your protector, "taking a bullet" for you, then they're the wrong one.
I've had a lovely man for the last three years and for that time he made my heart sing, soar. We had our secret times full of promise for something to grow, and I knew he felt it just as much as I did, and baggage interrupted.
I had to go away and decide what I wanted and as ever I wanted "more" and I feel I deserve it. So I let him go and he let me go
And he knew nothing about me. That at heart I am a Freedom Fighter, that I like to "help", and I guess in this cynical day and age thats hard to believe but for me, Deb, Yvette, Alena it is something we do as narural as breathing.
We love it or we wouldn't do it, when we help shape a life we are happy women.
I only told him parts of my life to amuse and I am sure he thought we were a bunch of misfits, thinking he had the right to tell me off about my life and family, and I was outraged.
He lived in the high powered world of big business and he is Teflon coated from the struggles of every day life.
He told me that he thought squid and chips would replace the humble Fish and Chips, that he was buying a TV on special for his child and I said,
"You're not putting a TV in a bedroom of a little girl, I had 4 daughters, now grown.
"Oh, no, she has her own lounge room"
At 6
Then he said,
"I'm thinking about buying another property. 4 Mill."
"You don't live that much in the one you have already"
And I looked at him in amazement, at that time I was taking care of 4 kids that weren't mine and sending them to school. I lived in the "real world" where it's shall I buy the one that's two for one or the one I save a dollar on.
I would love to rush into a Supermarket and just buy anything I want, but I can't, don't.
And he asked me to look at his new toy, a new car, lovely, rushing off as ever to disappear back into the life of ruthlessness and deals and I went back inside to make roast rack of lamb for my boarder.
I'm sure he thought it was amusing to "lower" his standards, he still lives in a class, he upper echelon and me just a pleb.
Silly Bugger
And now I have Alena telling me to "lower my standards" as she wants me to settle down with a man, my man. And Marry and be happy. And I have been married and I didn't like it, not with "him", anyway, it was always a battle, every day, a new battle and it was exhausting and frustrating and ultimately unrewarding except for the girls.
And my girls have had to have counselling over the years as have I, because of what he put us through.
Very easy to forgive and not so easy to forget, but I've written it out and I love the fact that we survived and we are all OK.
He no doubt regrets it maybe now, grabbing one of his grand daughters up once and hugging her as his wife hadn't noticed or cared she had been injured.
And he went berserk so I am glad for that, it's a shame he doesn't see them all, as I know he loves kids, especially grand daughters, reminding him of his girls.
Alena has her man and he'd take a bullet for her.
At home I am just a woman helping to raise kids, writing blogs, live in a "Shoebox", no dancing before the bright lights for this Mum.
It's not that I don't want to go to fancy places and get out, I do, but I am just so content to be doing what I am doing. And I will try and lower my standards and meet a nice normal bloke, who loves me to bits and will take a bullet for me,
Just so the girls will get off my back !
Love Mum xo
