Stephanie ------
Without Prejudice
She hurricaned in to our lives like a demented monster and left us reeling for a while. She was nuts but we didn't know it.
Evil personified, even now I shudder thinking about what she could have done. But we were five women strong and she was one and it took us a while but we sure as hell got rid of her.
Creepy, sad person.
B and I had separated and that was fine for a while, I moved on and he decided to do the same after a while. First he was the type A personality and controller who had lost control and punished us, bad.
He took the furniture and the cars and after 12 months the business and the house. When my elderly aunt came to vist after losing her hubby of 50 years we all had to sit on the floor as all the furniture had gone. She never forgot it.
It was twelve months of hell and we didn't need it, we truly didn't. We'd just lost a precious child, the girls a sister, their beloved little sis, who was the original "jar of hearts", promising Debbie once a jar of earrings, for some horrible thing Yvette had visited on her, and Deb was crying in rage.
Deb was the oldest and had a lot of responsibilty put on her at a very early age. She was babysitting by the time she was 5. I kid you not. Sandra next door asked her to keep an eye on her sleeping baby while she went to the shops.
Debbie was just one of those kids, confident, mature and sensible. And we leaned on her and told her off if the sisters misbehaved. We grounded her once for 3 months for having boys in the house at 14. We relented when it was time to go see Culture Club, but she refused and stuck by the original grounding.
The last showdown between me and him after five months of counselling for me and the girls, he wouldn't go even thought the counsellors wrote to him personally, sensing from one meeting he had severe anger issues.
I was sweeping the floor one Saturday morning and Deb was cooking lunch, Mara, Yvette, Alena sitting at the bench. Baby Kyle sleeping.
And in B stormed shouting that the fucking girls had left the fucking hose in the fucking driveway and they were a bunch of sluts.
I just kept sweeping the floor, not looking at him, when I stopped, I simply said,
"If you don't like it here why don't you just get out",
He reached up to get out the 3 page list he kept on us as to what we had done wrong to him, pinched his chocolate, took his black socks, ad infintum, ad nauseum. and finit!
I just looked at him
And the thought in my mind right at that moment, was, you left already last year. And you came back, moved back in,
"To be of comfort to the family"
And I looked at him and I realised I didn't even like him, so what did that make me ????? I looked at the chair where he always sat, and I could no longer see him in it.
I kept looking at him as all the thoughts filled my mind, and he hesitated in reaching for the list. It must have been a look of disgust or I just didn't care, she was gone what was he doing here ????
So instead he went to his room and started packing.
He made 5 trips to the GT with all his stuff and not one word was said by any of us, nor did anyone try to stop him.
And when he was gone it was like someone had been pounding me on the head with a hammer and then it stopped.
I can quite honestly say, and this is not meant to be nasty, I didn't miss him for even one second. If he had been the affectionate type I might, have but he hated kissing, cuddling, didn't praise, just criticised.
I realise now he was a very unhappy man, and it was simply "him", he used to tell me I was 99.9 percent wrong.
I can't recall him asking me ever how I was or if I had been anywhere he didn't care, who, why, where, when as long as I was there, the girls were polite little perfect beings, the house was clean and dinner was on the table
By the time the girls were early teens, he came in grunted, ate his dinner and went to his room at 6 pm, and never left it. He had a TV in there, a fridge, a safe, a heater, a Video player and a stck of playboys under the bed.
he loved naughty things, little frissons of excitement and really became a loner around the time. as if he was always going to be leaving. he never said ,
"I love you",
Never even said Hi, when he got home. When we heard his car in the driveway, anywhere from7, (Rare) or 11 pm, more realistic, we would jump up and change the channel from what we were watching to what he would want on.
One girlfriend noticed he clicked his fingers for the salt or the sugar, and expected us "girls" fetch it for him. He ruled, he was loud and bossy and strict, so strict.
I was a bad mother, all my friends were sluts, all his workers were cunts and out to get him, his daughters were rubbish, and not perfect. he liked perfect.
I was a model wife in public, always happy smiling, I had to be. He would punish me or threaten to hurt the kids in some way or me,. he had so many hidden punishments, psychological, emotional, physical, he was clever and cunning and seemed to second guess all the time.
Control begins insidiously, not overnight and it just becomes the norm even though you know it's not really normal.
I always felt like I was acting in this really bad play. and sometimes it could be hysterically funny and then nothing, just loud voices and some major drama.
I know what abused wife syndrome is. I lived it every day from six weeks after Debbie was born, to the day it ended. Finally seeing what I had originally thought of as strength, him having it and me not, was actually weakness.
I was much stronger than him in the long run. Becoming a fierce Mother, not an anxious one. I didn't need him any more he was superfluous to my life.
At first I wasn't sure how we were going to get through the first day, first week. So I decided that if I could get through the next day, I would be all right.
He controlled our whole lives, the cars, the garden, the house, the money, who we saw, where we went, it was all him and I was so happy to see the back of him.
He went to stay at the Factory, and built himself a dwelling up on the mezzanine floor, all dark and creepy and divided by sheets and rail.
He was a whack job, seriously, he called me mad, taunting me about my poor mad Mother, that I would turn out the same.
And when he found out I had been out with another man, all hell broke loose. Then he really stepped up to the plate with threats and abuse. I am still scared if a car follows me or seems to be, because of him.
He stalked me and had me followed, hiring a private eye, and I couldn't be any more happy. I didn't care. I knew I was never having him in my life anymore.
It was a feeling in my very core, it was like I was looking for a good enough reason to not be with him. And one day, when I had a "change of life" moment, I decided I was better off on my own than being continually drained by him.
And he had always told me I would not get anyone else, and if I did, they'd be a dweeb, or a Myron, a point dexter, geek, that worked nine to five and went to the library with me. He was so wrong!
So after he stopped throwing tantrums. he joined a Marraige Bureau and took out the Owner of the business. Stephanie. She was tall not that attractive, she was young and she was completely and utterly crazy. Mad, evil. awful.
We never knew her age, she had a false name, and he always had a thing for young girls. She told us she was 29 but we really think she was about 17. He was 44.
She befriended the girls and offered them jobs at $50 an hour ringing "clients", for the marriage bureau. So the 3 youngest became enamoured of her, she was quite charismatic, dangerously so.
The next thing Yvette, Alena, And Mara were living with Bob at the factory and then moved to a house he had built. Stephanie went too.
And we started not to hear from them, very much. Getting Kyle out of Yvette's care and into Debbie's and mine. He was just 2 and had a bad burn on his arm, so we stepped in.
Yvette followed us into Deb's house, not wanting to leave Kyle and we strangely found things beginning to happen, bizarre things, a bottle of Normison being thrown over the fence, full.
Stephanie wanting to meet up with me and she came to Debbie's and I realised that looking at her eyes,
"The lights were on and no one was home."
No one believed me, they though I was jealous of his new girlfriend. I had already worked out that anyone that was attracted to B was going to be a bit of a loop, as that is what he was and like attracts like.
And she was nuts but it took us a while to figure that out. Yvette and I moved with Kyle to a little house in MacFarlane Avenue Dandenong.
We hadn't heard from Alena and Mara, staying as they were with B and Stephanie in the new house which he bought out of the business.
A birthday went past and we didn't hear from them. Wierdly I found a big sign on top of the wardrobe in the house. It just said one word.
"Help"
Yvette said if I rang the house she would answer but that Alena and Mara had a phone in their bedroom and we rang them on that. Alena was paranoid and frightened, she couldn't talk about it.
So Yvette gave Alena a plan. She was to sneak out the back door, climb the back fence amd run to the Servo on the main road and Yvette would pick her up.
Alena said, she remembered, her heart absolutely pounding in her chest, as she climbed the fence and ran for her life.
I saw Yvette walking past me to go and meet up with Alena and she was carrying a big butchers knife,
"What are you doing?"
"If they try and stop me, I am going to stab them"
"Oh, OK"
She met up with Alena and when Alena came she was maybe 50 kilos,skinny, tiny and Alena has always been rubunesque. It was strange and she was speaking garble and she was totally paranoid.
Turns out good old Stephanie was giving the girls speed. At Easter tying a gram of it on their Easter Eggs. Alena 17 amd Mara 15. Turned out Stephanie was encouraging Mara and some young boys to break and enter, factories, or shops.
It was freaky scary stuff. Alena calmed down and we fetched Mara out of there as well. Then Yvette's and Debbies cars were repossesed.
Yvette was dragged off to the Police in Chelsea for some trumped up charge which she had dismissed on site, but we still had to go and sort it all out.
Stephanie bought a brand new Celica, and it was parked in the main street one day, Alena and Mara seeing it and scratching names in the paint work. And running to the house in McFarlane where Yvette and Kyle were and warning her to get out, that they had scratched the car.
Yvette opened the door later to her Dad, Stephanie and B's friend F, who had a spanner in his back pocket.
She was beaten up, baby Kyle dragged off her, and he went into the lounge room and Yvette's friends grabbed him up and ran to the Police Station and got help.
She was put in hospital and I finished work early and went to see her.
"He wouldn't stop, Mum, he just wouldn't stop and I am his daughter" and she cried and I was helpless to see her, bruised and battered as she was.
So we came down for the trial (Yvette and I and Kyle Had moved to Qld) and he had tried everything for her not to take him to court. He rang, Debbie rang, Alena too, but the police wanted Yvette to box on.
Debbie and Alena didn't hear the end of it from him, he pleaded cajoled them to stop their sister taking him to court. he sais to the girls it was a waste of time and Yvette would lose.
So we came back for a week, arriving in Melbourne and heading straight for the County Court.
B was there and wouldn't look at us, He tried to plead not guilty and in the end they said if he pleaded guilty, he'd be better off. They had the photos of her injuries, he tried to say she beat herself up.
If he pleaded not guilty and was found guilty he would go to jail. We were happy with that but he wasn't, so he pleaded guilty to assault.
Yvette was given $12,000 for pain and suffering from Criminal Compensation. he never apologised. And what happened to Stephanie??? She went away, we ignored her totally and she went away and fell in love with someone else.
Leaving B for him and having a baby we heard. A boy. The guy she left B for ended up dying in a solo car accident, she we heard jumped off a bridge in Brisbane.
So many rumours, but apparently it's true, Stephanie's son now living with and being raised by her boyfriends parents.
Love Janette
She hurricaned in to our lives like a demented monster and left us reeling for a while. She was nuts but we didn't know it.
Evil personified, even now I shudder thinking about what she could have done. But we were five women strong and she was one and it took us a while but we sure as hell got rid of her.
Creepy, sad person.
B and I had separated and that was fine for a while, I moved on and he decided to do the same after a while. First he was the type A personality and controller who had lost control and punished us, bad.
He took the furniture and the cars and after 12 months the business and the house. When my elderly aunt came to vist after losing her hubby of 50 years we all had to sit on the floor as all the furniture had gone. She never forgot it.
It was twelve months of hell and we didn't need it, we truly didn't. We'd just lost a precious child, the girls a sister, their beloved little sis, who was the original "jar of hearts", promising Debbie once a jar of earrings, for some horrible thing Yvette had visited on her, and Deb was crying in rage.
Deb was the oldest and had a lot of responsibilty put on her at a very early age. She was babysitting by the time she was 5. I kid you not. Sandra next door asked her to keep an eye on her sleeping baby while she went to the shops.
Debbie was just one of those kids, confident, mature and sensible. And we leaned on her and told her off if the sisters misbehaved. We grounded her once for 3 months for having boys in the house at 14. We relented when it was time to go see Culture Club, but she refused and stuck by the original grounding.
The last showdown between me and him after five months of counselling for me and the girls, he wouldn't go even thought the counsellors wrote to him personally, sensing from one meeting he had severe anger issues.
I was sweeping the floor one Saturday morning and Deb was cooking lunch, Mara, Yvette, Alena sitting at the bench. Baby Kyle sleeping.
And in B stormed shouting that the fucking girls had left the fucking hose in the fucking driveway and they were a bunch of sluts.
I just kept sweeping the floor, not looking at him, when I stopped, I simply said,
"If you don't like it here why don't you just get out",
He reached up to get out the 3 page list he kept on us as to what we had done wrong to him, pinched his chocolate, took his black socks, ad infintum, ad nauseum. and finit!
I just looked at him
And the thought in my mind right at that moment, was, you left already last year. And you came back, moved back in,
"To be of comfort to the family"
And I looked at him and I realised I didn't even like him, so what did that make me ????? I looked at the chair where he always sat, and I could no longer see him in it.
I kept looking at him as all the thoughts filled my mind, and he hesitated in reaching for the list. It must have been a look of disgust or I just didn't care, she was gone what was he doing here ????
So instead he went to his room and started packing.
He made 5 trips to the GT with all his stuff and not one word was said by any of us, nor did anyone try to stop him.
And when he was gone it was like someone had been pounding me on the head with a hammer and then it stopped.
I can quite honestly say, and this is not meant to be nasty, I didn't miss him for even one second. If he had been the affectionate type I might, have but he hated kissing, cuddling, didn't praise, just criticised.
I realise now he was a very unhappy man, and it was simply "him", he used to tell me I was 99.9 percent wrong.
I can't recall him asking me ever how I was or if I had been anywhere he didn't care, who, why, where, when as long as I was there, the girls were polite little perfect beings, the house was clean and dinner was on the table
By the time the girls were early teens, he came in grunted, ate his dinner and went to his room at 6 pm, and never left it. He had a TV in there, a fridge, a safe, a heater, a Video player and a stck of playboys under the bed.
he loved naughty things, little frissons of excitement and really became a loner around the time. as if he was always going to be leaving. he never said ,
"I love you",
Never even said Hi, when he got home. When we heard his car in the driveway, anywhere from7, (Rare) or 11 pm, more realistic, we would jump up and change the channel from what we were watching to what he would want on.
One girlfriend noticed he clicked his fingers for the salt or the sugar, and expected us "girls" fetch it for him. He ruled, he was loud and bossy and strict, so strict.
I was a bad mother, all my friends were sluts, all his workers were cunts and out to get him, his daughters were rubbish, and not perfect. he liked perfect.
I was a model wife in public, always happy smiling, I had to be. He would punish me or threaten to hurt the kids in some way or me,. he had so many hidden punishments, psychological, emotional, physical, he was clever and cunning and seemed to second guess all the time.
Control begins insidiously, not overnight and it just becomes the norm even though you know it's not really normal.
I always felt like I was acting in this really bad play. and sometimes it could be hysterically funny and then nothing, just loud voices and some major drama.
I know what abused wife syndrome is. I lived it every day from six weeks after Debbie was born, to the day it ended. Finally seeing what I had originally thought of as strength, him having it and me not, was actually weakness.
I was much stronger than him in the long run. Becoming a fierce Mother, not an anxious one. I didn't need him any more he was superfluous to my life.
At first I wasn't sure how we were going to get through the first day, first week. So I decided that if I could get through the next day, I would be all right.
He controlled our whole lives, the cars, the garden, the house, the money, who we saw, where we went, it was all him and I was so happy to see the back of him.
He went to stay at the Factory, and built himself a dwelling up on the mezzanine floor, all dark and creepy and divided by sheets and rail.
He was a whack job, seriously, he called me mad, taunting me about my poor mad Mother, that I would turn out the same.
And when he found out I had been out with another man, all hell broke loose. Then he really stepped up to the plate with threats and abuse. I am still scared if a car follows me or seems to be, because of him.
He stalked me and had me followed, hiring a private eye, and I couldn't be any more happy. I didn't care. I knew I was never having him in my life anymore.
It was a feeling in my very core, it was like I was looking for a good enough reason to not be with him. And one day, when I had a "change of life" moment, I decided I was better off on my own than being continually drained by him.
And he had always told me I would not get anyone else, and if I did, they'd be a dweeb, or a Myron, a point dexter, geek, that worked nine to five and went to the library with me. He was so wrong!
So after he stopped throwing tantrums. he joined a Marraige Bureau and took out the Owner of the business. Stephanie. She was tall not that attractive, she was young and she was completely and utterly crazy. Mad, evil. awful.
We never knew her age, she had a false name, and he always had a thing for young girls. She told us she was 29 but we really think she was about 17. He was 44.
She befriended the girls and offered them jobs at $50 an hour ringing "clients", for the marriage bureau. So the 3 youngest became enamoured of her, she was quite charismatic, dangerously so.
The next thing Yvette, Alena, And Mara were living with Bob at the factory and then moved to a house he had built. Stephanie went too.
And we started not to hear from them, very much. Getting Kyle out of Yvette's care and into Debbie's and mine. He was just 2 and had a bad burn on his arm, so we stepped in.
Yvette followed us into Deb's house, not wanting to leave Kyle and we strangely found things beginning to happen, bizarre things, a bottle of Normison being thrown over the fence, full.
Stephanie wanting to meet up with me and she came to Debbie's and I realised that looking at her eyes,
"The lights were on and no one was home."
No one believed me, they though I was jealous of his new girlfriend. I had already worked out that anyone that was attracted to B was going to be a bit of a loop, as that is what he was and like attracts like.
And she was nuts but it took us a while to figure that out. Yvette and I moved with Kyle to a little house in MacFarlane Avenue Dandenong.
We hadn't heard from Alena and Mara, staying as they were with B and Stephanie in the new house which he bought out of the business.
A birthday went past and we didn't hear from them. Wierdly I found a big sign on top of the wardrobe in the house. It just said one word.
"Help"
Yvette said if I rang the house she would answer but that Alena and Mara had a phone in their bedroom and we rang them on that. Alena was paranoid and frightened, she couldn't talk about it.
So Yvette gave Alena a plan. She was to sneak out the back door, climb the back fence amd run to the Servo on the main road and Yvette would pick her up.
Alena said, she remembered, her heart absolutely pounding in her chest, as she climbed the fence and ran for her life.
I saw Yvette walking past me to go and meet up with Alena and she was carrying a big butchers knife,
"What are you doing?"
"If they try and stop me, I am going to stab them"
"Oh, OK"
She met up with Alena and when Alena came she was maybe 50 kilos,skinny, tiny and Alena has always been rubunesque. It was strange and she was speaking garble and she was totally paranoid.
Turns out good old Stephanie was giving the girls speed. At Easter tying a gram of it on their Easter Eggs. Alena 17 amd Mara 15. Turned out Stephanie was encouraging Mara and some young boys to break and enter, factories, or shops.
It was freaky scary stuff. Alena calmed down and we fetched Mara out of there as well. Then Yvette's and Debbies cars were repossesed.
Yvette was dragged off to the Police in Chelsea for some trumped up charge which she had dismissed on site, but we still had to go and sort it all out.
Stephanie bought a brand new Celica, and it was parked in the main street one day, Alena and Mara seeing it and scratching names in the paint work. And running to the house in McFarlane where Yvette and Kyle were and warning her to get out, that they had scratched the car.
Yvette opened the door later to her Dad, Stephanie and B's friend F, who had a spanner in his back pocket.
She was beaten up, baby Kyle dragged off her, and he went into the lounge room and Yvette's friends grabbed him up and ran to the Police Station and got help.
She was put in hospital and I finished work early and went to see her.
"He wouldn't stop, Mum, he just wouldn't stop and I am his daughter" and she cried and I was helpless to see her, bruised and battered as she was.
So we came down for the trial (Yvette and I and Kyle Had moved to Qld) and he had tried everything for her not to take him to court. He rang, Debbie rang, Alena too, but the police wanted Yvette to box on.
Debbie and Alena didn't hear the end of it from him, he pleaded cajoled them to stop their sister taking him to court. he sais to the girls it was a waste of time and Yvette would lose.
So we came back for a week, arriving in Melbourne and heading straight for the County Court.
B was there and wouldn't look at us, He tried to plead not guilty and in the end they said if he pleaded guilty, he'd be better off. They had the photos of her injuries, he tried to say she beat herself up.
If he pleaded not guilty and was found guilty he would go to jail. We were happy with that but he wasn't, so he pleaded guilty to assault.
Yvette was given $12,000 for pain and suffering from Criminal Compensation. he never apologised. And what happened to Stephanie??? She went away, we ignored her totally and she went away and fell in love with someone else.
Leaving B for him and having a baby we heard. A boy. The guy she left B for ended up dying in a solo car accident, she we heard jumped off a bridge in Brisbane.
So many rumours, but apparently it's true, Stephanie's son now living with and being raised by her boyfriends parents.
Love Janette
