A Better Life and Dr Phil

Without Prejudice

My little bride to be, Yvette xoxo



Watched Phil McGraw today, and he has a new book out about living, really living in the world we have today. Not in the world that our parents had but in the world as it is today. The complex fast moving world we have now. Technology is to me one if the best things ever. We have miracle breakthroughs in medical technology, We seem to be set to reach the stratosphere in human advances. And yet, for me, it seems too fast, too complex, too much.

I was brought up in the fifties where we were lucky to have enough food, enough money and played in the street. We didn't even know what a pervert was, barely saw a drunk and drugs ?.. Never heard of them. I know its an old tired argument but are we really better off now than we were then.? In this hedonistic world are we losing sight of ourselves as just plain old humans.

I am 60 and consider myself a broad minded person with values and morals, I am sure not perfect, heaven forbid, that would be boring, but I care about the world, I care about others, I love my kids and Grandkids with a passion that knows no bounds. I lost a child and will always feel empathy for others that are suffering. I cried again a little today for the old lady that found her beloved dog in the middle of the devastating tornado in Oklahoma. She stretching out her cut arms to her beloved dog that had disappeared.

And the volunteers that work tirelessly to help the injured, it makes me want to go there, to help out, to do something, just DO anything rather than play another computer game, buy a handbag I don't need, listen to celebrities bemoaning their hard lives as they haven't made another trillion dollars this year to spend whacking junk in their arms or up their noses.

I want a real world, a mannered world, a safe clean world for my Grandkids.

So I listen to Dr Phil and decide to start taking steps to have a richer more authentic life. Reach down into my being and pull my being up by the boot straps. I take an inventory of my friends and family. I'm a nice girl, a good girl, a do unto others type of woman, but there are people in my life that are whiners, back stabbers, jealous people, negative and I decide to cut them loose from my life.

We all know our detractors deep down but put up with them out of loyalty, they are our family, or so called friends. And we are used to them, better the devil you know, than the devil you don't know, blah blah, but it's time wasting and drains you. So I trim down my friends, non functioning jealous people. I decide to not even bother with an explanation. As my brother said once,

"They KNOW why"

And of course they do. My parents called them chancers in the old days. People that don't like themselves that much and want to take it out on the world. To use, abuse, back stab. Out they go and I breathe a sigh of relief. I know who my real friends are, I know the people I can trust with my heart, friendship, love, emotion.

And more  than anything  I have to believe in myself. Believe that if the whole world was against me, my values, my thoughts, my being, my beliefs, matter, to me.

I can't begin to tell you the negative comments I had from others when I began to write. I was soooo excited to get readers and baiters would say, don't say this, don't write about that. But I had to, I had to find my voice, my truth and I had to not be scared to say it. Most writers are shy people, retiring, quiet. I had to conquer the fear of criticism. I had to be ready to defend my writing.

And it has been the best thing I have ever done. My weight plummeted, my confidence grew, because finally I was doing the one thing I had always been able to do from a little girl. To tell a story. The story teller, the little shy observer book worm in a rowdy family of loud, extroverted siblings. It is my passion, my love, my muse, my nourishment, my sex, my friend, myself.

It was easy to let the detractors go, some came to admire my persistence, my talent honed over lonely hours, crying into the keys at times. But I was coming forward, no matter what. And others began to respond. Emailed me and asked my advice on depression, or the loss of a beautiful child, teens cutting themselves, teens on drugs, domestic violence. And I realised I could help, by my writing, I could reach many.

And on this incredible journey my Daughter, my brother Jamie, my Mum, my Dad came with me. They were there every step of the way, their ghostly presence felt, urging me on. Drying my tears, laughing with me, entering my dreams, whispering, Write, just write. Bless them and all the good people that surround me, celestial and right here. And may you too find your passion and be able dance around the lounge room in delight.

When I was told I would be published I immediately threw up in the bathroom sink. That's me !

Love Janette.