May My Joy Remain In You And May Your Joy Be Full
Without Prejudice
Joy abounds at the house today. Not only is my daughter going to be the proud grandma of a little girl, but on or around the same day in January 2014 she will be the proud Mother of her own baby girl. After seven boys. Oh the joy.
She's stunned, and still in shock. She still thinks at 20 weeks, pregnant, as she is now, a penis will grow in a few weeks. But they confirmed it today. No Placenta Previa like last time with Cruz and a female, a girl, a Princess in waiting. She has no idea of a name, even. She was convinced it was a boy and had a name picked out.
But she had a tiny inkling it might be a girl, she of the size 6 frame has gained weight, a good lot of weight. She looks like an egg on legs. All baby bump out in front. I had an inkling it was a girl too, as she showed me some blood test results, and I noticed the heartbeat was high.
And thought,
" Hmm, my Doctor told me my 4th was a girl as the heartbeat was high "
He then asked me what I had, already.
" Three girls "
He stammered and said he might be wrong, but I knew he wasn't.
A 4th girl was just fine and sure enough it was.
And being silly one night we did the pendulum thing with a ring. And it showed a girl.
We were scared to believe it, but the intuition we both felt was true.
Now maybe she will stop, ha ha. She wanted to give her new partner three. And two little boys and a girl is a nice number. And I am sure the nay Sayers will say
" Another Baby ? Is she mad ? "
She is not mad, she loves being a Mother, loves her kids. When Acer was born almost five years ago, I was outside and watched her through the window. She held the baby on eye level to her, out in front. And it was a look like an avaricious person looking at a gold bar. That baby was a million dollars to her and he was number 6.
Her love shone out to him like a laser from her brown eyes to his. She drank him in, and I was taken aback at the intensity of the gaze. It was pure unmitigated love. I was humbled by the gaze. In awe of it. She was proud. Never an academic, never a career girl, but she has this amazing ability to give birth. Lovely, lively, healthy children. I said to her once, jokingly, she should have babies for others who can't have them.
She couldn't give them up, she replied and I knew she couldn't.
And her first boy was born 23 years ago. He was a joy too, but she was very young then, andlost her youngest sister to a tragic accident, two weeks after his birth. So she went into shock and an awful Post Partum depression. Now she has babies for her little Sister she says, as she will never have them, and loved babies. Her sister, Laurens favourite book, Baby Island.
And after she died, we found her Bible, a little black bible, and one sentence was circled in pink pen.
" May my Joy, remain in you and may your Joy be full "
She was not a devotee of religion per se, but a lover of life, love, her sisters, her friends. Everyone. Lauren, just loved everyone. She left little notes for friends and relatives. She gave away things to loved ones, she was peace and love, just peace and love. Her life was happy, and at 12 it was like she leapt the Maslows Heirarchy of Needs. She was a self actualised human being.
Impossible to believe I know, but I knew it then and I know it now. Her Joy remains in us and in times like today we celebrate, laugh, smile and give thanks for our blessed lives and for new lives and loves to come xoxo
Joy abounds at the house today. Not only is my daughter going to be the proud grandma of a little girl, but on or around the same day in January 2014 she will be the proud Mother of her own baby girl. After seven boys. Oh the joy.
She's stunned, and still in shock. She still thinks at 20 weeks, pregnant, as she is now, a penis will grow in a few weeks. But they confirmed it today. No Placenta Previa like last time with Cruz and a female, a girl, a Princess in waiting. She has no idea of a name, even. She was convinced it was a boy and had a name picked out.
But she had a tiny inkling it might be a girl, she of the size 6 frame has gained weight, a good lot of weight. She looks like an egg on legs. All baby bump out in front. I had an inkling it was a girl too, as she showed me some blood test results, and I noticed the heartbeat was high.
And thought,
" Hmm, my Doctor told me my 4th was a girl as the heartbeat was high "
He then asked me what I had, already.
" Three girls "
He stammered and said he might be wrong, but I knew he wasn't.
A 4th girl was just fine and sure enough it was.
And being silly one night we did the pendulum thing with a ring. And it showed a girl.
We were scared to believe it, but the intuition we both felt was true.
Now maybe she will stop, ha ha. She wanted to give her new partner three. And two little boys and a girl is a nice number. And I am sure the nay Sayers will say
" Another Baby ? Is she mad ? "
She is not mad, she loves being a Mother, loves her kids. When Acer was born almost five years ago, I was outside and watched her through the window. She held the baby on eye level to her, out in front. And it was a look like an avaricious person looking at a gold bar. That baby was a million dollars to her and he was number 6.
Her love shone out to him like a laser from her brown eyes to his. She drank him in, and I was taken aback at the intensity of the gaze. It was pure unmitigated love. I was humbled by the gaze. In awe of it. She was proud. Never an academic, never a career girl, but she has this amazing ability to give birth. Lovely, lively, healthy children. I said to her once, jokingly, she should have babies for others who can't have them.
She couldn't give them up, she replied and I knew she couldn't.
And her first boy was born 23 years ago. He was a joy too, but she was very young then, andlost her youngest sister to a tragic accident, two weeks after his birth. So she went into shock and an awful Post Partum depression. Now she has babies for her little Sister she says, as she will never have them, and loved babies. Her sister, Laurens favourite book, Baby Island.
And after she died, we found her Bible, a little black bible, and one sentence was circled in pink pen.
" May my Joy, remain in you and may your Joy be full "
She was not a devotee of religion per se, but a lover of life, love, her sisters, her friends. Everyone. Lauren, just loved everyone. She left little notes for friends and relatives. She gave away things to loved ones, she was peace and love, just peace and love. Her life was happy, and at 12 it was like she leapt the Maslows Heirarchy of Needs. She was a self actualised human being.
Impossible to believe I know, but I knew it then and I know it now. Her Joy remains in us and in times like today we celebrate, laugh, smile and give thanks for our blessed lives and for new lives and loves to come xoxo
