Pick Ups, Everywhere
Without Prejudice
My very good friend T. Says I seem to be able to pick up a man, anywhere. I didn't know I was able to do this until she mentioned it, but I guess I do.
I meet them on planes, garages, malls, work, neighbourhood, hospitals, weddings, funerals, today one working in a Supermarket. I don't try I only love who I love but am friendly chatty and like people. The one today went out of his way today to show me the specials. I had only asked where the Vicks Vaporub was. The Vicks is supposed to keep the wolves from the door or in my case a friendly enthusiastic puppy, a German Sheperd, and a muscled up Husky. Both girls.
I had heard Vicks rubbed on surfaces will stop dogs. Keep them away as they hate the smell. Ha, as if ! I rubbed it on the doors that they rush to every time they are opened, not a chance. I coated the back verandah ledge where the pup leaps onto. The side fly wire door where she likes to nuzzle as soon as any one tries to exit or enter it. No go.
So back to the friendly man at the Supermarket, I was rabbiting on about my grown child who is convinced she has a demon inside her. Don't ask !
All my children are unusual, outspoken, Alpha females and it's my fault as I brought them up that way. Well they are mine if they do something bad and my ex other halves when they do something good. My Mother always said if the cat had kittens it would have been her fault.
So, the man said,
" It's her Husband "
" What ? " I replied, rooting around in the freezer for dim sims. My glasses falling forward and I gazed over the top at him in some puzzlement. Sometimes, I swear I feel like the slightly befuddled Mother in My Family And Other Animals. Glasses steamed up and hair escaping from a bun.
" The Demon ", he said somewhat patiently.
" A Demon, her husband ? " I replied, sotto voice.
" Yes, it's her Husband that's the problem, not a demon "
I must admit I was surprised at his statement and the fervour with which he uttered it, and wanted to know more but was a bit scared to ask. He looked favourable enough, tall, good looking, muscled up, in his forties. But he had moved that tiny bit closer to where I was and I thought, hmmmmmm
He was male and should know male behaviour better than I. To be fair it always shocks the hell out of me, male behaviour or even male attraction. They say you are the average of the five people you hang around with most, for me that's a daughter of great fertility, and seven boys and 2 demented dogs. So I am loyal, demented and a teenage boy and we all know teenage boys take no notice of anyone but themselves, grunt and eat a lot.
I fled around the corner of the aisle saying I had to get bananas and oranges and waved him off with a cheery wave and not a backward glance. I knew, just knew he was moving in for the kill, my phone number, a date, heaven forbid. I always feel sorry for men like that, fancying me. They have no idea what a controlling bitch I really am and eat little boys like him for breakfast.
They think I'm a " nice friendly funny woman " they haven't a clue. I outstrip most men by a lot, a lot, as I have a very high I.Q.And am a total snob. A perfectionist, my therapist told me, almost O.C.D and anal. I would only bore them to death with my finicky ways and all the boring facts and figures I can recite at the drop of a hat.
I was surprised at the husband being the demon quote though, I repeated it to the overly fertile daughter and she agreed. IRS always the husband she said and I had to agree.
Love Nette x
My very good friend T. Says I seem to be able to pick up a man, anywhere. I didn't know I was able to do this until she mentioned it, but I guess I do.
I meet them on planes, garages, malls, work, neighbourhood, hospitals, weddings, funerals, today one working in a Supermarket. I don't try I only love who I love but am friendly chatty and like people. The one today went out of his way today to show me the specials. I had only asked where the Vicks Vaporub was. The Vicks is supposed to keep the wolves from the door or in my case a friendly enthusiastic puppy, a German Sheperd, and a muscled up Husky. Both girls.
I had heard Vicks rubbed on surfaces will stop dogs. Keep them away as they hate the smell. Ha, as if ! I rubbed it on the doors that they rush to every time they are opened, not a chance. I coated the back verandah ledge where the pup leaps onto. The side fly wire door where she likes to nuzzle as soon as any one tries to exit or enter it. No go.
So back to the friendly man at the Supermarket, I was rabbiting on about my grown child who is convinced she has a demon inside her. Don't ask !
All my children are unusual, outspoken, Alpha females and it's my fault as I brought them up that way. Well they are mine if they do something bad and my ex other halves when they do something good. My Mother always said if the cat had kittens it would have been her fault.
So, the man said,
" It's her Husband "
" What ? " I replied, rooting around in the freezer for dim sims. My glasses falling forward and I gazed over the top at him in some puzzlement. Sometimes, I swear I feel like the slightly befuddled Mother in My Family And Other Animals. Glasses steamed up and hair escaping from a bun.
" The Demon ", he said somewhat patiently.
" A Demon, her husband ? " I replied, sotto voice.
" Yes, it's her Husband that's the problem, not a demon "
I must admit I was surprised at his statement and the fervour with which he uttered it, and wanted to know more but was a bit scared to ask. He looked favourable enough, tall, good looking, muscled up, in his forties. But he had moved that tiny bit closer to where I was and I thought, hmmmmmm
He was male and should know male behaviour better than I. To be fair it always shocks the hell out of me, male behaviour or even male attraction. They say you are the average of the five people you hang around with most, for me that's a daughter of great fertility, and seven boys and 2 demented dogs. So I am loyal, demented and a teenage boy and we all know teenage boys take no notice of anyone but themselves, grunt and eat a lot.
I fled around the corner of the aisle saying I had to get bananas and oranges and waved him off with a cheery wave and not a backward glance. I knew, just knew he was moving in for the kill, my phone number, a date, heaven forbid. I always feel sorry for men like that, fancying me. They have no idea what a controlling bitch I really am and eat little boys like him for breakfast.
They think I'm a " nice friendly funny woman " they haven't a clue. I outstrip most men by a lot, a lot, as I have a very high I.Q.And am a total snob. A perfectionist, my therapist told me, almost O.C.D and anal. I would only bore them to death with my finicky ways and all the boring facts and figures I can recite at the drop of a hat.
I was surprised at the husband being the demon quote though, I repeated it to the overly fertile daughter and she agreed. IRS always the husband she said and I had to agree.
Love Nette x
