My Bucket List
Without Prejudice
I want my girls to be friends. I can't remember the last time they were all together and as a Mother it disappoints me. It's really tiring and upsetting they can't be like my family who all work to get along. Mine don't, never have. My family lost a beloved brother and it pulled us together. My girls lost a sister and it blew them apart.
Even though they are now grown women with so many delightful kids between them, they bitch fight, back stab, hurl punches, strangle each other , slap each othe and spit out venom and hatred at each other. I hate it and wish it would stop, but not in my lifetime. It's like the Middle East a problem that will never be resolved. But I would still like it.
In regards to grown kids, years ago I was at a meeting, still a youngish Mum. And we had to introduce ourselves, and share a little of our lives. It went all around the room and a lady in her seventies or so stood up, said her name and details and then said.
" I have grown children, who have all moved Interstate, thank God ! "
And sat down.
i thought what a cruel Mother, and smiled indulgently at my darlings.
Now I know exactly what she means....................
Next.........
I want to visit New York, just once, for the shopping. And to say I have been as it looks so dynamic and exciting. I would have to be heavily sedated to get there as I HATE flying and get worse each time I do so. Maybe a cruise ?
Same goes for the Greek Islands and I want to jump off the back of a boat and into azure coloured warm seas, brown as a berry and frolic like a dolphin for a while
Ditto for Cabo, where the sea otters are and be as one in the sea and I am sure her spirit will be there, my little Otter, the little one, the peacemaker, her hair long and flowing behind her and for my heart not to hurt every time I think of her. Like a giant fist that reaches inside me and squeezes, each time.
I want to get more room for my big collection of shoes and more wardrobe space for my clothes as there is no way, no how I am giving them up.
Learn a new language and be fluent in It. I have a smattering of Spanish and an old friend that speaks it, so we could Hola Amiga all day long. And drink Sangria when she visits.
I would love to do something large and noble but in the mean time do small acts that are small and noble and lead up to bigger things.
I want to see more Grandkids and now great Grandkids as all my life I have loved kids, babies, toddlers, teens, doesn't matter, I just want more.
I love to see them happy and laughing and enjoy their joy at Christmas and birthdays and running under the sprinklers on hot days and watching them as they sleep, their mouths sweetly soft in repose. And more hugs of joy as when I have been away for a while and they run to the gate, agitated for it to be open.
I'd like a really pretty garden with weeping cherry trees and flowers, loads of flowers, that looks like an English cottage garden, with a flagged terrace and an arbour where I could sit on warm days and just reflect in the scents and the peace.
And when my time is up I would like all the ignorance, hatred, cancers of the soul and body be gone. That people who only hate were happy instead. And I would never be scared or frightened as I know there is more, more to come and I will see her again, Lauren, and hand in hand we will be together once more. I will see that beautiful face, hear her voice, smell her hair, stroke it. and know sheer joy once again.
I want my girls to be friends. I can't remember the last time they were all together and as a Mother it disappoints me. It's really tiring and upsetting they can't be like my family who all work to get along. Mine don't, never have. My family lost a beloved brother and it pulled us together. My girls lost a sister and it blew them apart.
Even though they are now grown women with so many delightful kids between them, they bitch fight, back stab, hurl punches, strangle each other , slap each othe and spit out venom and hatred at each other. I hate it and wish it would stop, but not in my lifetime. It's like the Middle East a problem that will never be resolved. But I would still like it.
In regards to grown kids, years ago I was at a meeting, still a youngish Mum. And we had to introduce ourselves, and share a little of our lives. It went all around the room and a lady in her seventies or so stood up, said her name and details and then said.
" I have grown children, who have all moved Interstate, thank God ! "
And sat down.
i thought what a cruel Mother, and smiled indulgently at my darlings.
Now I know exactly what she means....................
Next.........
I want to visit New York, just once, for the shopping. And to say I have been as it looks so dynamic and exciting. I would have to be heavily sedated to get there as I HATE flying and get worse each time I do so. Maybe a cruise ?
Same goes for the Greek Islands and I want to jump off the back of a boat and into azure coloured warm seas, brown as a berry and frolic like a dolphin for a while
Ditto for Cabo, where the sea otters are and be as one in the sea and I am sure her spirit will be there, my little Otter, the little one, the peacemaker, her hair long and flowing behind her and for my heart not to hurt every time I think of her. Like a giant fist that reaches inside me and squeezes, each time.
I want to get more room for my big collection of shoes and more wardrobe space for my clothes as there is no way, no how I am giving them up.
Learn a new language and be fluent in It. I have a smattering of Spanish and an old friend that speaks it, so we could Hola Amiga all day long. And drink Sangria when she visits.
I would love to do something large and noble but in the mean time do small acts that are small and noble and lead up to bigger things.
I want to see more Grandkids and now great Grandkids as all my life I have loved kids, babies, toddlers, teens, doesn't matter, I just want more.
I love to see them happy and laughing and enjoy their joy at Christmas and birthdays and running under the sprinklers on hot days and watching them as they sleep, their mouths sweetly soft in repose. And more hugs of joy as when I have been away for a while and they run to the gate, agitated for it to be open.
I'd like a really pretty garden with weeping cherry trees and flowers, loads of flowers, that looks like an English cottage garden, with a flagged terrace and an arbour where I could sit on warm days and just reflect in the scents and the peace.
And when my time is up I would like all the ignorance, hatred, cancers of the soul and body be gone. That people who only hate were happy instead. And I would never be scared or frightened as I know there is more, more to come and I will see her again, Lauren, and hand in hand we will be together once more. I will see that beautiful face, hear her voice, smell her hair, stroke it. and know sheer joy once again.
