How To Love Your Life, Living In The Now
Without Prejudice
I don't know if this will work for you, but it worked for me. It took a while to sink in but after Going to a health retreat, two years ago, it's the way I live today and it's a lot happier.
The life coach asked us to write 3 goals for the next twelve months, they must be handwritten as there is a connection between the written word and the brain. Then put them somewhere and forget them. Sooner or later they will bubble up into your conscious brain, anyway. Or work away in your subconcious, percolating, waiting until you are ready.
The three goals came true for me and I would have never believed it. Never.
It took hard work, though. I had to do a complete honest review of my life and there was no point in blaming anyone else. I believe after you turn 16 you are responsible for your life, anyway, so you just have to be really honest. What do you want, what are you prepared to do about it ?
I was not a healthy weight, I hadn't been a healthy weight for years. The weight went. I hadn't written anything for twenty odd years, not since my youngest daughter died in 1989. I couldn't, wouldn't. But in the end I did and now write full time. I wanted to write a book, in stories at first and then a novel. When I received an email from a Publisher, to be published I went in the bathroom and threw up.
Interesting.
I had a history of choosing abusive men, one violent, one alcoholic, I had to have counselling to get over that history and I recommend it to everyone. I found out that what I thought of as a happy childhood was not so happy. I was certainly loved and cared for but it was not perfect. i had been excusing men's and a girlfriends bad behaviour for years as I thought, poor things, had a bad childhood. Suffer, so did I. So the memories went and I dumped the friend.
My brother said he envied my life and when I asked why he said because of my kids and Grandkids, I have many. I must admit I was shocked as I thought he, ( my younger brother and Sister are all wealthy successful business people.) had no problems and envied them.
Not true he said, he envied me as I can step out the door every day and hug a grandchild. True. His only grandchild lives in London and he adores him. I have almost 14 and live close to all of them. I live in a unit behind seven of them, all boys and the youngest is two. Heaven on a stick for a child lover. All my brothers and sisters revere kids and I am the lucky one, I am surrounded by them.
I can get sticky kisses and hugs and laughs every single day. Grandkids are just divine. All the love and none of the responsibility. And I love that I have a role as backup to a family and to all my girls. I had to realise I didn't have to hover over them as I had been after the death of my youngest child. I knew death from 5, when my older brother died at age 11. I knew the dead dont come back and I had to make peace with that, accept it and move on.
That was hard.
Harder still was to stop whingeing about my life, never satisfied, always wanting more. I realised I had a great life and needed to live more in the moment. Not hurry through life, trying to reach perfection. That I should slow down and enjoy every moment. Enjoy the kids and not be cleaning them up, tidying them up, herding them up. Anxiety had to go. Worry had to go, obsessiveness had to go.
I was O.K. I was down to normal weight, a healthy weight for me. I was writing every day and loving it as it's always been my passion. I could save money on a much smaller income and not have the stress of working for a Boss. That my side line of selling retro items in EBay for extra income was not a chore but a delight. That if I liked, loved something, so would others. Very satisfying.
That my writing about personal things on my blog helped others and women especially would contact me about it. Winter depression or S.A.D. Teens cutting themselves, violence, drugs, kids. I don't hold anything back when I write and had to let go my shyness or hatred of criticism. I also wrote about my loves, writing,music, freedom, cooking, cleaning, makeup, clothes, shoes, decorating, sex, kissing, affection.
. I realised I had a rich store of experience, travel, relationship issues, life issues, weight issues. I had been addicted to nicotine for years, allergic to alcohol for years, .....that had to go. I had blackouts from alcohol and still drove. I had tried marijuana and loved it, but it was too expensive so that had to go. I hated to exercise so had to find ways to keep fit that didn't involve boring exercise but fun exercise that I would keep up.
I had always been a swimmer, can water ski, parasail, feel at home in the water as I do on land. I used to dance, jazz ballet, ballet, ball room, so I went back to dancing, swimming, and cleaning houses to burn off the excess energy I gained from losing 26 kilos. One minute I was 84 kilos and the next 58. I had to burn off energy excessively, so found I could clean a house a day.
I also had to exercise my mind, to stave off boredom or relax me after writing. I had a problem with that until I discovered Candy Crush, it's like a game of chess to me. Luckily my oldest darling daughter, Debbie bought me an IPad and its everything to me, thank God for her and Steve Jobs.
So now I live my life realistically. It's all about the now, the living in the moment. I could put it down to getting older, realising that there is less time before me than behind me. But it's not just that, although that's probably part of it, I put it down to being given good advice by my life coach. Live, love, laugh, be content with who you are. Get back up when you feel like you are down there on the floor. Other people are struggling with so much worse.
Help others, there is no feeling more satisfying, we are all here together. And let it go. The past is gone and you can learn from it but not stay there, the future is not here yet, there is only now, right now. Someone asked a man of ninety, who was coming to the end if his time on earth, what he wished he had more of in life, he replied,
"I should have eaten more ice cream "
But the main wish of the dying, was that they wished that they had said more to those that they loved, opened their hearts, said the things they should have said, healed rifts, been not scared to speak up, right wrongs. There's a lesson in that for all of us ......
And have that ice cream. Live more in the moment, be happy with what you have, be glad of what life has handed you, and more important than anything, love. Love what you do, love the people that come in to your life, they are there for a reason. And as Patrick Swayze said,
" It's amazing, you take it with you, the love inside, you take it with you. "
Love Janette
I don't know if this will work for you, but it worked for me. It took a while to sink in but after Going to a health retreat, two years ago, it's the way I live today and it's a lot happier.
The life coach asked us to write 3 goals for the next twelve months, they must be handwritten as there is a connection between the written word and the brain. Then put them somewhere and forget them. Sooner or later they will bubble up into your conscious brain, anyway. Or work away in your subconcious, percolating, waiting until you are ready.
The three goals came true for me and I would have never believed it. Never.
It took hard work, though. I had to do a complete honest review of my life and there was no point in blaming anyone else. I believe after you turn 16 you are responsible for your life, anyway, so you just have to be really honest. What do you want, what are you prepared to do about it ?
I was not a healthy weight, I hadn't been a healthy weight for years. The weight went. I hadn't written anything for twenty odd years, not since my youngest daughter died in 1989. I couldn't, wouldn't. But in the end I did and now write full time. I wanted to write a book, in stories at first and then a novel. When I received an email from a Publisher, to be published I went in the bathroom and threw up.
Interesting.
I had a history of choosing abusive men, one violent, one alcoholic, I had to have counselling to get over that history and I recommend it to everyone. I found out that what I thought of as a happy childhood was not so happy. I was certainly loved and cared for but it was not perfect. i had been excusing men's and a girlfriends bad behaviour for years as I thought, poor things, had a bad childhood. Suffer, so did I. So the memories went and I dumped the friend.
My brother said he envied my life and when I asked why he said because of my kids and Grandkids, I have many. I must admit I was shocked as I thought he, ( my younger brother and Sister are all wealthy successful business people.) had no problems and envied them.
Not true he said, he envied me as I can step out the door every day and hug a grandchild. True. His only grandchild lives in London and he adores him. I have almost 14 and live close to all of them. I live in a unit behind seven of them, all boys and the youngest is two. Heaven on a stick for a child lover. All my brothers and sisters revere kids and I am the lucky one, I am surrounded by them.
I can get sticky kisses and hugs and laughs every single day. Grandkids are just divine. All the love and none of the responsibility. And I love that I have a role as backup to a family and to all my girls. I had to realise I didn't have to hover over them as I had been after the death of my youngest child. I knew death from 5, when my older brother died at age 11. I knew the dead dont come back and I had to make peace with that, accept it and move on.
That was hard.
Harder still was to stop whingeing about my life, never satisfied, always wanting more. I realised I had a great life and needed to live more in the moment. Not hurry through life, trying to reach perfection. That I should slow down and enjoy every moment. Enjoy the kids and not be cleaning them up, tidying them up, herding them up. Anxiety had to go. Worry had to go, obsessiveness had to go.
I was O.K. I was down to normal weight, a healthy weight for me. I was writing every day and loving it as it's always been my passion. I could save money on a much smaller income and not have the stress of working for a Boss. That my side line of selling retro items in EBay for extra income was not a chore but a delight. That if I liked, loved something, so would others. Very satisfying.
That my writing about personal things on my blog helped others and women especially would contact me about it. Winter depression or S.A.D. Teens cutting themselves, violence, drugs, kids. I don't hold anything back when I write and had to let go my shyness or hatred of criticism. I also wrote about my loves, writing,music, freedom, cooking, cleaning, makeup, clothes, shoes, decorating, sex, kissing, affection.
. I realised I had a rich store of experience, travel, relationship issues, life issues, weight issues. I had been addicted to nicotine for years, allergic to alcohol for years, .....that had to go. I had blackouts from alcohol and still drove. I had tried marijuana and loved it, but it was too expensive so that had to go. I hated to exercise so had to find ways to keep fit that didn't involve boring exercise but fun exercise that I would keep up.
I had always been a swimmer, can water ski, parasail, feel at home in the water as I do on land. I used to dance, jazz ballet, ballet, ball room, so I went back to dancing, swimming, and cleaning houses to burn off the excess energy I gained from losing 26 kilos. One minute I was 84 kilos and the next 58. I had to burn off energy excessively, so found I could clean a house a day.
I also had to exercise my mind, to stave off boredom or relax me after writing. I had a problem with that until I discovered Candy Crush, it's like a game of chess to me. Luckily my oldest darling daughter, Debbie bought me an IPad and its everything to me, thank God for her and Steve Jobs.
So now I live my life realistically. It's all about the now, the living in the moment. I could put it down to getting older, realising that there is less time before me than behind me. But it's not just that, although that's probably part of it, I put it down to being given good advice by my life coach. Live, love, laugh, be content with who you are. Get back up when you feel like you are down there on the floor. Other people are struggling with so much worse.
Help others, there is no feeling more satisfying, we are all here together. And let it go. The past is gone and you can learn from it but not stay there, the future is not here yet, there is only now, right now. Someone asked a man of ninety, who was coming to the end if his time on earth, what he wished he had more of in life, he replied,
"I should have eaten more ice cream "
But the main wish of the dying, was that they wished that they had said more to those that they loved, opened their hearts, said the things they should have said, healed rifts, been not scared to speak up, right wrongs. There's a lesson in that for all of us ......
And have that ice cream. Live more in the moment, be happy with what you have, be glad of what life has handed you, and more important than anything, love. Love what you do, love the people that come in to your life, they are there for a reason. And as Patrick Swayze said,
" It's amazing, you take it with you, the love inside, you take it with you. "
Love Janette
