Infidelity and Gilbert O'Sullivan
Without Prejudice
Back to Brunette at last and still surviving x
I don't care what the experts say, infidelity is the worst thing that can happen in a relationship or marriage. It breaks you, the whole thing is broken. There can be forgiveness, a bandaid can be patched over it but it kills, the pain of infidelity is like no other. Especially if you have trusted, heard things, seen little things and kept on trusting not wanting to see, not wanting to give voice to your fears.
Then when you know, when you find out for sure and cannot be fooled anymore it totally destroys you. They were right you were wrong and "they" whoever they are have that have told you can no longer remain your friends. You want to kill them too.
I know that the experts say that money stress kills themost relationships, but I found the opposite to be true. Money worries were nothing to me with the family life I had, high days and holidays when we had money and literally starving when we didn't. That was the fifties and sixties and lots of families were like that.
Money lost or won will not destroy you the way infidelity will. It rips at your heart, your self esteem, makes you feel worthless, not wanted, hated, taps into every insecurity you have ever had about yourself. You imagine the " couple" laughing at you, about you, the thoughts in your head, the images you imagine in your head will never leave you. It's the betrayal that hurts you most. Why on earth another female would set out to hurt you in that way is beyond comprehension. Are there no single men out there ?
Un single men are a no no, it should be tattooed on your heart when you are born as a female. Same for men. Men like variety, men are naturally sexual beings, more so than us we hear. What a load of shit and a poor excuse. It's to do with having a big ego as far as I am concerned, you can tell all your friends your wife doesn't understand. It's about putting aside the needs of others and only thinking of yourself.
Naughty little secrets are not fun when someone else is getting hurt and trust me you are not just hurting that person, you have the ability to negate them, make them less than nothing, because you will have to lie. And nothing hurts more than when someone lies and lies and lies, it degrades you, you who know the truth, have known it for a while. Being lied to strikes at your very core, makes you think you are going mad, or are bad for mistrusting in the first place.
I don't care if your wife or girlfriend doesn't understand, leave that person, leave, split up, divorce and then be attracted to someone else. We are all attracted to someone else, it doesn't mean we are going to do something about it. In fact don't. It's too hurtful for the person you once professed to love. And even if they forgive you, stay with you, they will never ever forget the hurt.
I had two little girls in two years and was pregnant again. My husband at the time said get rid of it or I am leaving you. I was 19, just turned and wanted another baby, thought it was all part natures great plan. I had to fly interstate, have an abortion and fly home with my two little girls in tow. When I arrived home I found another women's underwear in the house. That destroyed me.
He denied it of course, chased me down the hall and hit me when I slammed the door. Two months later the husband of my best girlfriend , my husbands ex fiancé, rang and said they were having an affair. He denied it of course. And threatened me. She is old, now, still adores him, and from the day I found that underwear I knew, just knew, ever after that although I stayed married I couldn't have cared less.
All bets were off as far as I was concerned and what was good for the gander was good for the goose.by then we had been married all of two years
I didn't want the abortion and had even named the baby, I knew it was another girl somehow and had named her Claire from the song by Gilbert O' Sullivan. I had to fly to Qld, get help from my sick Mum, fly to Sydney, find the clinic way over the other side of Sydney from Campbelltown, where ironically I had been married. Leave the girls with my Sister who hated the idea if me having an abortion. Like as if I was happy about it !
I can remember being in the clinic overnight with all these single teen girls who wanted their problem quickly solved, I was the only one that was married. I cried quietly a little and still do when I hear Gilbert O' Sullivan. Not much so Claire but the lonely and sad " alone again, naturally. That was how I felt at the time and the sweeping poignant song will now and forever affect me like that.
Love Janette
I don't care what the experts say, infidelity is the worst thing that can happen in a relationship or marriage. It breaks you, the whole thing is broken. There can be forgiveness, a bandaid can be patched over it but it kills, the pain of infidelity is like no other. Especially if you have trusted, heard things, seen little things and kept on trusting not wanting to see, not wanting to give voice to your fears.
Then when you know, when you find out for sure and cannot be fooled anymore it totally destroys you. They were right you were wrong and "they" whoever they are have that have told you can no longer remain your friends. You want to kill them too.
I know that the experts say that money stress kills themost relationships, but I found the opposite to be true. Money worries were nothing to me with the family life I had, high days and holidays when we had money and literally starving when we didn't. That was the fifties and sixties and lots of families were like that.
Money lost or won will not destroy you the way infidelity will. It rips at your heart, your self esteem, makes you feel worthless, not wanted, hated, taps into every insecurity you have ever had about yourself. You imagine the " couple" laughing at you, about you, the thoughts in your head, the images you imagine in your head will never leave you. It's the betrayal that hurts you most. Why on earth another female would set out to hurt you in that way is beyond comprehension. Are there no single men out there ?
Un single men are a no no, it should be tattooed on your heart when you are born as a female. Same for men. Men like variety, men are naturally sexual beings, more so than us we hear. What a load of shit and a poor excuse. It's to do with having a big ego as far as I am concerned, you can tell all your friends your wife doesn't understand. It's about putting aside the needs of others and only thinking of yourself.
Naughty little secrets are not fun when someone else is getting hurt and trust me you are not just hurting that person, you have the ability to negate them, make them less than nothing, because you will have to lie. And nothing hurts more than when someone lies and lies and lies, it degrades you, you who know the truth, have known it for a while. Being lied to strikes at your very core, makes you think you are going mad, or are bad for mistrusting in the first place.
I don't care if your wife or girlfriend doesn't understand, leave that person, leave, split up, divorce and then be attracted to someone else. We are all attracted to someone else, it doesn't mean we are going to do something about it. In fact don't. It's too hurtful for the person you once professed to love. And even if they forgive you, stay with you, they will never ever forget the hurt.
I had two little girls in two years and was pregnant again. My husband at the time said get rid of it or I am leaving you. I was 19, just turned and wanted another baby, thought it was all part natures great plan. I had to fly interstate, have an abortion and fly home with my two little girls in tow. When I arrived home I found another women's underwear in the house. That destroyed me.
He denied it of course, chased me down the hall and hit me when I slammed the door. Two months later the husband of my best girlfriend , my husbands ex fiancé, rang and said they were having an affair. He denied it of course. And threatened me. She is old, now, still adores him, and from the day I found that underwear I knew, just knew, ever after that although I stayed married I couldn't have cared less.
All bets were off as far as I was concerned and what was good for the gander was good for the goose.by then we had been married all of two years
I didn't want the abortion and had even named the baby, I knew it was another girl somehow and had named her Claire from the song by Gilbert O' Sullivan. I had to fly to Qld, get help from my sick Mum, fly to Sydney, find the clinic way over the other side of Sydney from Campbelltown, where ironically I had been married. Leave the girls with my Sister who hated the idea if me having an abortion. Like as if I was happy about it !
I can remember being in the clinic overnight with all these single teen girls who wanted their problem quickly solved, I was the only one that was married. I cried quietly a little and still do when I hear Gilbert O' Sullivan. Not much so Claire but the lonely and sad " alone again, naturally. That was how I felt at the time and the sweeping poignant song will now and forever affect me like that.
Love Janette
