Midnight Escape How To Escape A Violent Relationship
Without Prejudice
I escaped a violent marriage and you can too. Maybe you think you are stuck with nowhere to go.maybe you fear the unknown, it's a human beings biggest fear. But you will escape and you will be fine and I cannot tell you what to do, but I can give you some guide lines, that may help.
if you are in a situation where you don't feel right or are wishing it will get better, have all the concerns that all women in your situation have. Don't despair, don't give in. You matter, even though you have probably been told you don't, you do.
First and foremost, get some help. Get some counselling to get YOU back, get your strength back, your confidence back. Lie if you have to about going to see someone to seek help. A controlling man wants you where he can find you, at all times, so say you are having therapy for something else. He will not go with you if you say it's help for the marriage. Will try and talk you out of it. He has all the answers, he thinks.
Be ten jumps ahead.
Realise that no matter how much you you think you love him, you can't love someone you fear, Its impossible.
Men don't become violent overnight, it's an insidious thing. He's all ready instilled fear in you. A loud voice, throwing things, destroying things. You've seen his temper in other ways and fear you are next. Don't be scared. At heart he's a bully and bullies are un confident fearful little boys. You have to take a stand but not until you have escaped the situation.
He may have already isolated you from family and friends, you don't know who to trust anymore. There are millions of other women all over the world that are in your position, have been in your position or will be. It's got to be about you from now on, you and your kids if you have them. You are damaging your kids by staying. Trust me, I know.
The most important thing is to have a bolt hole. Other women who have been through the same thing will help. He won't leave, unless it's your house and you can have him removed but then expect him to come back to harass you. And he will, a man gets very territorial about the house, the cars, the furniture, the possessions, money.You he considers also a possession.
Don't be scared of losing anything, everything is replaceable, except you and your kids lives.
These days there are good agencies that will help you and your children. Money will come, furniture will come, but the most important thing is you, your welfare, your happiness.
He will have already told you that you will never get someone else. You will and better.
He is frightened as deep down he knows he's been a bad husband and will promise anything to keep you, may cry, beg, don't believe him and don't feel sorry for him. He will try everything, especially fake illness. Don't be fooled. He will be fine. Men replace and women grieve. He will just replace you. Or end up in his own. But he will rarely seek help himself, he totally believes there is nothing wrong with him, it's all you.
But he has already made his choices in life, you didn't make them for him. Violence is always the fault of the perpetrator, not you, although he will try and pin it on you.
You made me mad, you made me do it. Load of hogwash and he knows it.
Worse than violence is the sucking up, that's harder to put up with but don't believe him for a minute, not a second.
Start making your plan today. You have to.
You will be better off, you will be happier, I never missed mine from day one. Not once and yet had been married twenty years. In his mind he was the best, I was to blame or 99,9 % to blame, he liked to say. And the trouble is they believe that, go on believing you were better off with him. Believe you will come back as you have so many times. Back to the same old drama, berating, arguing, he's right your dumb, fat, unloveable.
Don't believe a word.
I escaped a violent marriage and you can too. Maybe you think you are stuck with nowhere to go.maybe you fear the unknown, it's a human beings biggest fear. But you will escape and you will be fine and I cannot tell you what to do, but I can give you some guide lines, that may help.
if you are in a situation where you don't feel right or are wishing it will get better, have all the concerns that all women in your situation have. Don't despair, don't give in. You matter, even though you have probably been told you don't, you do.
First and foremost, get some help. Get some counselling to get YOU back, get your strength back, your confidence back. Lie if you have to about going to see someone to seek help. A controlling man wants you where he can find you, at all times, so say you are having therapy for something else. He will not go with you if you say it's help for the marriage. Will try and talk you out of it. He has all the answers, he thinks.
Be ten jumps ahead.
Realise that no matter how much you you think you love him, you can't love someone you fear, Its impossible.
Men don't become violent overnight, it's an insidious thing. He's all ready instilled fear in you. A loud voice, throwing things, destroying things. You've seen his temper in other ways and fear you are next. Don't be scared. At heart he's a bully and bullies are un confident fearful little boys. You have to take a stand but not until you have escaped the situation.
He may have already isolated you from family and friends, you don't know who to trust anymore. There are millions of other women all over the world that are in your position, have been in your position or will be. It's got to be about you from now on, you and your kids if you have them. You are damaging your kids by staying. Trust me, I know.
The most important thing is to have a bolt hole. Other women who have been through the same thing will help. He won't leave, unless it's your house and you can have him removed but then expect him to come back to harass you. And he will, a man gets very territorial about the house, the cars, the furniture, the possessions, money.You he considers also a possession.
Don't be scared of losing anything, everything is replaceable, except you and your kids lives.
These days there are good agencies that will help you and your children. Money will come, furniture will come, but the most important thing is you, your welfare, your happiness.
He will have already told you that you will never get someone else. You will and better.
He is frightened as deep down he knows he's been a bad husband and will promise anything to keep you, may cry, beg, don't believe him and don't feel sorry for him. He will try everything, especially fake illness. Don't be fooled. He will be fine. Men replace and women grieve. He will just replace you. Or end up in his own. But he will rarely seek help himself, he totally believes there is nothing wrong with him, it's all you.
But he has already made his choices in life, you didn't make them for him. Violence is always the fault of the perpetrator, not you, although he will try and pin it on you.
You made me mad, you made me do it. Load of hogwash and he knows it.
Worse than violence is the sucking up, that's harder to put up with but don't believe him for a minute, not a second.
Start making your plan today. You have to.
You will be better off, you will be happier, I never missed mine from day one. Not once and yet had been married twenty years. In his mind he was the best, I was to blame or 99,9 % to blame, he liked to say. And the trouble is they believe that, go on believing you were better off with him. Believe you will come back as you have so many times. Back to the same old drama, berating, arguing, he's right your dumb, fat, unloveable.
Don't believe a word.
