And The Young Lover Calls
Without Prejudice
Clinton calls and wants to "Swing Past". And I am off to my daughters as she is in deep depression and I know I need to help. How ironic. He doesn't understand that I am too busy fir him. I know he adores me and I have been pushing him away for four and a half years, because of his age. My therapist said he has no judgement on age but I do.
Clint is 25 years younger than I. And wants kids one day, so what is the point. I know I would find his company comfortable, but I have things to do. Mince pies to make, a great new book to read, a daughter to help. He has nothing else except for work, a massage, sex and I don't want any of them. He is gentle, intelligent, shy and loves the same music. He and I love Johnny and Mary
By Robert Palmer number one. I was shocked when he told me.
I should leap at the chance to see him shouldn't I. But I don't. It's a Thursday afternoon and he's at a loose end. He is a Greek God of firm abs, tall, a spunk. I should be impressed a. Great
Grandmother like me. But I am not. And he loved me when I was fat. So I should be flattered. But I am not.
I want someone who I can have a future. There is no future with a youngster. I will not buy a house, marry or go anywhere with him. His mates think I am too old for him and he doesnt tell them he sees me. My suggestion. He doesn't ring by a Wednesday evening and say lets go somewhere. He rings at the last minute expecting me to welcome him with open arms. I can no longer do that.
I tell him I am busy, which is true, and will call hm later and I won't. I wsnt for once to do what I want to do. I find the thought of spending my time, going nowhere, just rapping is not what I want. I want to work, run, jump, walk, go outdoors, help someone with something, be doing, not talking. I talk all day. I wsnt to bury myself in work and me, just me.
I have made progress. I no longer jump at a males request. I am no longer a people pleaser, hoping by being good I impress. I have no desire to please or bury me in someone else's personality. I have moved forward, one tiny step at a time. It's not that he bores me, he's funny, sweet, a thinker, a feeler, but then so am I.
Step up Clinton. Step up to being a man, not a child. I have raised boys, now and want a man that can stand by my side, stand toe to toe with me. Present another point of view than mine. I would never admire a man that didn't disagree with me. That stands up to my controlling over anxious nature and says,
"you're wrong",
because of course I am wrong a lot of the time. I over think, out of anxiety. Who am I to be right all the time. It's impossible, so I won't call him. Not that he will give up, but perhaps in time he will. I shoo him away and he comes back, never taking offense, . Poor baby. He will find someone, a nice someone, he's kind and understanding. And I wish him all the kids he can have.
Love Janette
Clinton calls and wants to "Swing Past". And I am off to my daughters as she is in deep depression and I know I need to help. How ironic. He doesn't understand that I am too busy fir him. I know he adores me and I have been pushing him away for four and a half years, because of his age. My therapist said he has no judgement on age but I do.
Clint is 25 years younger than I. And wants kids one day, so what is the point. I know I would find his company comfortable, but I have things to do. Mince pies to make, a great new book to read, a daughter to help. He has nothing else except for work, a massage, sex and I don't want any of them. He is gentle, intelligent, shy and loves the same music. He and I love Johnny and Mary
By Robert Palmer number one. I was shocked when he told me.
I should leap at the chance to see him shouldn't I. But I don't. It's a Thursday afternoon and he's at a loose end. He is a Greek God of firm abs, tall, a spunk. I should be impressed a. Great
Grandmother like me. But I am not. And he loved me when I was fat. So I should be flattered. But I am not.
I want someone who I can have a future. There is no future with a youngster. I will not buy a house, marry or go anywhere with him. His mates think I am too old for him and he doesnt tell them he sees me. My suggestion. He doesn't ring by a Wednesday evening and say lets go somewhere. He rings at the last minute expecting me to welcome him with open arms. I can no longer do that.
I tell him I am busy, which is true, and will call hm later and I won't. I wsnt for once to do what I want to do. I find the thought of spending my time, going nowhere, just rapping is not what I want. I want to work, run, jump, walk, go outdoors, help someone with something, be doing, not talking. I talk all day. I wsnt to bury myself in work and me, just me.
I have made progress. I no longer jump at a males request. I am no longer a people pleaser, hoping by being good I impress. I have no desire to please or bury me in someone else's personality. I have moved forward, one tiny step at a time. It's not that he bores me, he's funny, sweet, a thinker, a feeler, but then so am I.
Step up Clinton. Step up to being a man, not a child. I have raised boys, now and want a man that can stand by my side, stand toe to toe with me. Present another point of view than mine. I would never admire a man that didn't disagree with me. That stands up to my controlling over anxious nature and says,
"you're wrong",
because of course I am wrong a lot of the time. I over think, out of anxiety. Who am I to be right all the time. It's impossible, so I won't call him. Not that he will give up, but perhaps in time he will. I shoo him away and he comes back, never taking offense, . Poor baby. He will find someone, a nice someone, he's kind and understanding. And I wish him all the kids he can have.
Love Janette
