Grumpy Man
Without Prejudice
I called him a grumpy man a few weeks ago. He is our neighbour. He lost a son a two years ago. Then his girlfriend left him, twelve months ago. She had a baby, not his, he said. Age was 43 and wanted a baby more than anything. They tried IVF and it didnt work. And when he went to Adelaide for work for 10 weeks, she went back to IVF and used donor sperm and had the longed for baby at last. She told him and one year later she left.
He was bitter for a while and said so. Hated women, but missed the baby.
So we talked a while ago and I brought up the loss of his son who had died.
"Don't want to talk about it, nor about "her" either. I hsdnt mentioned her. I let him alone and ignored him pretty much. But he came to see me the next day and offered help with a practical problem we were having. I called him grumpy man and he said,
" I am grumpy, depends on what you are talking about"
So I waved at him when I saw him and left him alone. He has to come to terms with things himself I thought.
Today he was relaxed and jolly. He called me over as I wrestled with the hose that loves to kink.
Turns out he has met someone, a lovely someone. She lives far away and he said that was a good thing. Turns out he has been married twice and will never marry again. Hmmm. So he says. But the lady is strongly spiritual like he is, he tells me. I would never have known he always seemed so hostile even before he lost his son.
Always helped us out but never ever wanted to talk. Told us every thing we did wrong, barking dog, skinny dog, kids on the road, kids being cheeky. But he was with her then and I wonder how happy he really was. She said he was Bi Polar once, and cried on her first Mothers Day, ever. She was a very big girl, walked every day but the weight never seemed to come off.
Yvette and I thought they were married and the grim faced caretakers of the street. She would need a start on the car and Yvette would say, you go ask him and I would say, no you ask. He was like a Nazi and I thought he was just plain tiresome. We kept the dog quiet and the kids as he said once he would tell the Ministry if Yvette didn't behave herself. Long before I came here.
Today he opened up with obviously new love in his heart. Told me how lucky the kids were to have me living here. How great the boys are, he went up to Jai and told him how proud of him he was for joining the army cadets. He has a son in the army. He has 2 remaining sons, the youngest is the one that died.
He asked me how my kids were and I said, fighting. And sighed. He said his two are the same. One hates the other. I said it happens and we both laughed. He opened up and told me of his new love, only weeks after saying he would never have another. He talked of his son and his hard childhood. He said people may think I am a grumpy bastard, hell, I probably am, but I will help anyone. You know that and I said, I did.
He talked and talked and I just listened. I told him congratulations on the new love and I wonder if under that gruff exterior beats a romantic heart. I told him I also have someone but have a problem with his age. I said he is also spiritual. and comforting. He didnt comment.
He's a good man underneath all that "guff" and I wished him well and a Merry Christmas
It's funny how you live beside someone and never really know them until something happens. Good on him, I hope for him it all works out and we are attending his wedding in 12 months time. Well you never know ! I'm also a romantic at heart.
Love Janette
I called him a grumpy man a few weeks ago. He is our neighbour. He lost a son a two years ago. Then his girlfriend left him, twelve months ago. She had a baby, not his, he said. Age was 43 and wanted a baby more than anything. They tried IVF and it didnt work. And when he went to Adelaide for work for 10 weeks, she went back to IVF and used donor sperm and had the longed for baby at last. She told him and one year later she left.
He was bitter for a while and said so. Hated women, but missed the baby.
So we talked a while ago and I brought up the loss of his son who had died.
"Don't want to talk about it, nor about "her" either. I hsdnt mentioned her. I let him alone and ignored him pretty much. But he came to see me the next day and offered help with a practical problem we were having. I called him grumpy man and he said,
" I am grumpy, depends on what you are talking about"
So I waved at him when I saw him and left him alone. He has to come to terms with things himself I thought.
Today he was relaxed and jolly. He called me over as I wrestled with the hose that loves to kink.
Turns out he has met someone, a lovely someone. She lives far away and he said that was a good thing. Turns out he has been married twice and will never marry again. Hmmm. So he says. But the lady is strongly spiritual like he is, he tells me. I would never have known he always seemed so hostile even before he lost his son.
Always helped us out but never ever wanted to talk. Told us every thing we did wrong, barking dog, skinny dog, kids on the road, kids being cheeky. But he was with her then and I wonder how happy he really was. She said he was Bi Polar once, and cried on her first Mothers Day, ever. She was a very big girl, walked every day but the weight never seemed to come off.
Yvette and I thought they were married and the grim faced caretakers of the street. She would need a start on the car and Yvette would say, you go ask him and I would say, no you ask. He was like a Nazi and I thought he was just plain tiresome. We kept the dog quiet and the kids as he said once he would tell the Ministry if Yvette didn't behave herself. Long before I came here.
Today he opened up with obviously new love in his heart. Told me how lucky the kids were to have me living here. How great the boys are, he went up to Jai and told him how proud of him he was for joining the army cadets. He has a son in the army. He has 2 remaining sons, the youngest is the one that died.
He asked me how my kids were and I said, fighting. And sighed. He said his two are the same. One hates the other. I said it happens and we both laughed. He opened up and told me of his new love, only weeks after saying he would never have another. He talked of his son and his hard childhood. He said people may think I am a grumpy bastard, hell, I probably am, but I will help anyone. You know that and I said, I did.
He talked and talked and I just listened. I told him congratulations on the new love and I wonder if under that gruff exterior beats a romantic heart. I told him I also have someone but have a problem with his age. I said he is also spiritual. and comforting. He didnt comment.
He's a good man underneath all that "guff" and I wished him well and a Merry Christmas
It's funny how you live beside someone and never really know them until something happens. Good on him, I hope for him it all works out and we are attending his wedding in 12 months time. Well you never know ! I'm also a romantic at heart.
Love Janette
