Bah Christmas Humbug
Without Prejudice
I would love for it to be a Happy Christmas but it never seems to work that way for me. My girls made an effort last year as I asked them to. I begged for one Christmas that they could all enjoy and get along. This year, its all weird again and I guess I didnt ask for it.
Let's not even talk about my foster daughter who has turned every family member off with her extreme narcissism and disloyalty. We never see her, nor do we want to.
Tonight I went inside and did some computer stuff and burst into tears. Zach my lovely Grandson of nearly 18 talked to me. He told me of his friends family who get together at the Pops house and have a big BBQ and party on into the night. I would love to have that but the reality is that is never going to happen.
This one hates that one and that one hates this one and as a Mother its disappointing and sad. There is only 12 months between the oldest and second oldest and they have hated each other all their lives it seems. I cant get a call from the oldest without her mentioning her two "retarded" sisters.
I am not a fan of people that have to run others down to make themselves look good and I wish she would stop. The youngest is catatonic at the moment. She has lost an enormous amount of weight in the last 12 months and no matter what the test it comes back negative. Meanwhile she just sits and tells me she is not going to ever get well as she can't eat.
The second oldest is negative, a pessimist, even though her long held dream is about to come true and she will marry like her Sisters on February 14th, 2013.
Its what she wants and her friendly boyfriend has turned back into the normal guy he was when we first met 5 years ago. He had drug issues, that delightful thing called Ice. He is off it all now after two incarcerations and daily drug testing. He lost his Dad last year to a sudden heart attck and now his Mum is very very sick from cancer.
We are going to her daughters place for Christmas as God forbid it may be her last. I hope not but we all fear the worst. We will try and make it the best day ever for her sake but no doubt I will come home and burst into tears again. How one body can contain so many tears is beyond me.
I'm allowed to be sad at Christmas my therapist says. And I feel it in every pore of my being now that I have stopped getting busy. The neighbour next door is the same, works all the time up to Christmas day. When you have lost a child like he and I have anniversaries are always awful.
Im way down the track from him. For him it has only been two years, his 18 year old son hung himself. He didnt want to talk about it but now tells me he is seeing a counsellor and so am I, after 23 years.
Christmas can be Bah Humbug to some. Ozzy Osbourne says
"Its only another day if you don't drink", and I don't.
I know if I did I would come home with a steaming hangover which I would have to spend 2 days getting over, the pounding head, the vomiting, the stomach ache. Its almost like I am allergic to it.
Sadly, my son in laws nephew, Tye, died last Thursday night. He went to a party, drank a lot and fell asleep and didn't wake up. There will be no coroners report until two weeks as there are an enormous amount of bodies ahead of his. That is so sad for Uncle Willy, the Father of Tye as his wife died not even two years ago. There can be no funeral until the body is released and that is terrible for the family over Christmas/
I should count my blessings but I am a worrier, the non eating one worries me. I cant snap her out of her mind state. Shes been to hospital, she has seen Doctor after Doctor, nothing helps. I ended up telling her off in an attempt to shock her out of it but only succeeded in alienating her husband, who is grieving for the extended family.
Then I hear a girl in India was gang raped and is critical in hospital on life support. The good thing is that the population is protesting rather than putting up with the horror of what can happen to some women in India. Or anywhere. Could we catch the rapist that keeps stalking around the Eastern Suburbs in Melbourne ??? He has been able to get away with so many sexual assaults.
I dont mean to yell down froma Soapbox, I know a woman just killed a man but the ratio is 98% women and 2 % men. Attacks are aimed more at women and kids, boys and girls. It is so wrong. Where are we as evolving human beings. We don't need to do these things to other human beings. It has to start with Education and not me as I cant even keep my own girls in line.
Love Janette
I would love for it to be a Happy Christmas but it never seems to work that way for me. My girls made an effort last year as I asked them to. I begged for one Christmas that they could all enjoy and get along. This year, its all weird again and I guess I didnt ask for it.
Let's not even talk about my foster daughter who has turned every family member off with her extreme narcissism and disloyalty. We never see her, nor do we want to.
Tonight I went inside and did some computer stuff and burst into tears. Zach my lovely Grandson of nearly 18 talked to me. He told me of his friends family who get together at the Pops house and have a big BBQ and party on into the night. I would love to have that but the reality is that is never going to happen.
This one hates that one and that one hates this one and as a Mother its disappointing and sad. There is only 12 months between the oldest and second oldest and they have hated each other all their lives it seems. I cant get a call from the oldest without her mentioning her two "retarded" sisters.
I am not a fan of people that have to run others down to make themselves look good and I wish she would stop. The youngest is catatonic at the moment. She has lost an enormous amount of weight in the last 12 months and no matter what the test it comes back negative. Meanwhile she just sits and tells me she is not going to ever get well as she can't eat.
The second oldest is negative, a pessimist, even though her long held dream is about to come true and she will marry like her Sisters on February 14th, 2013.
Its what she wants and her friendly boyfriend has turned back into the normal guy he was when we first met 5 years ago. He had drug issues, that delightful thing called Ice. He is off it all now after two incarcerations and daily drug testing. He lost his Dad last year to a sudden heart attck and now his Mum is very very sick from cancer.
We are going to her daughters place for Christmas as God forbid it may be her last. I hope not but we all fear the worst. We will try and make it the best day ever for her sake but no doubt I will come home and burst into tears again. How one body can contain so many tears is beyond me.
I'm allowed to be sad at Christmas my therapist says. And I feel it in every pore of my being now that I have stopped getting busy. The neighbour next door is the same, works all the time up to Christmas day. When you have lost a child like he and I have anniversaries are always awful.
Im way down the track from him. For him it has only been two years, his 18 year old son hung himself. He didnt want to talk about it but now tells me he is seeing a counsellor and so am I, after 23 years.
Christmas can be Bah Humbug to some. Ozzy Osbourne says
"Its only another day if you don't drink", and I don't.
I know if I did I would come home with a steaming hangover which I would have to spend 2 days getting over, the pounding head, the vomiting, the stomach ache. Its almost like I am allergic to it.
Sadly, my son in laws nephew, Tye, died last Thursday night. He went to a party, drank a lot and fell asleep and didn't wake up. There will be no coroners report until two weeks as there are an enormous amount of bodies ahead of his. That is so sad for Uncle Willy, the Father of Tye as his wife died not even two years ago. There can be no funeral until the body is released and that is terrible for the family over Christmas/
I should count my blessings but I am a worrier, the non eating one worries me. I cant snap her out of her mind state. Shes been to hospital, she has seen Doctor after Doctor, nothing helps. I ended up telling her off in an attempt to shock her out of it but only succeeded in alienating her husband, who is grieving for the extended family.
Then I hear a girl in India was gang raped and is critical in hospital on life support. The good thing is that the population is protesting rather than putting up with the horror of what can happen to some women in India. Or anywhere. Could we catch the rapist that keeps stalking around the Eastern Suburbs in Melbourne ??? He has been able to get away with so many sexual assaults.
I dont mean to yell down froma Soapbox, I know a woman just killed a man but the ratio is 98% women and 2 % men. Attacks are aimed more at women and kids, boys and girls. It is so wrong. Where are we as evolving human beings. We don't need to do these things to other human beings. It has to start with Education and not me as I cant even keep my own girls in line.
Love Janette
