The Disembodied Voice
Without Prejudice
I sallied forth to the Airport again last night. Mladenka was returning home and of course Baby Andrej. I knew it would be hard to say goodbye but it had to be done. Mladenka in the last few days was getting homesick for home and hearth. She hasn't flown since she was 7 and was having her second flight in a week.
My brother warned me of the traffic going the other way back to Redcliffe and we could see the traffic wending it's slow way out of the city. Bumper to bumper it was and it was just three o'clock. We were heartily glad we were going the other way and I decided to take it slow as we approached the airport, of course I had done it too fast, just half an hour to get there.
I parked close to the entrance doors to the terminal in the multi story car park and we gathered up baby and car seat and bags and suitcase and like beasts of burden we slowly trailed inside the massive terminal. All around are signs to say
"Don't forget to pay for your parking before you exit"
Seems like there is never a human these days just automatic everything. We went straight to Jetstar to unload the baggage. An old man stood at the entry wearing a smart red vest. He looked at Mladenka's boarding pass and at the two of us standing there loaded up.
"You can't come in here till 4.35", he said and handed back the passes.
"Can't we just put the luggage in " I said. It was just on 4pm.
"You can put the luggage on at 4.35, Madam" he said again in an oh so patient voice as if I was clearly mentally deficient.
Being me, I replied,
Oh, for fucks sake"
and we retired to a cafe to sit and wait the half hour or the exact 35 minutes.
To our left was a table of 3 women in their 30's. Upwardly mobile yummy mummy's in juicy couture with school age kids. All the 3 were on their Iphones and there was no conversation at the table. Behind me was an American girl talking loudly in to her phone and her companion was on her smart phone checking for Facebook updates. Did she think she was Julia Gillard and was needed to run the country ???
A young child of one of the 3 women approached his Mother and she said to him patiently,
"Go get you Ipad out honey "
I wondered how we ever lived without modern technology? Maybe we spoke to each other like Mladenka and I were. She went off to pick out an over old plastic wrapped sandwich of gristle that was hard enough to pop your fillings out and we crunched into it in silence. It was a bargain for $10.50. (I kid you not !)
At the carefully allotted time of 4.35 Mladenka was able to check her bags in and we meandered towards the gate lounge. I left Mladenka there and baby and went in to the book shop slash Newsagent. I surveyed the crime fiction shelves looking for my favourite Author Sue Grafton. I heard she had a new book out in the Alphabet Murder series, A is for Alibi, etc. I've been collecting them since Andrej's Dad, Kyle was a Pup.
I looked at popular novels, zilch, and then at crime, double checking twice, so I asked the Assistant for her assistance. She crossed to her brand new super duper computer,
"No", she said, "Looks like we haven't had them for a while"
I went looking for something else to amuse me, "Power play for Upwardly Mobile Morons who don't want to work but want all the trappings " type of thing didn't grab me. Or how to have your bum whipped in a shade of grey, by a dirty old man Then I magically found the new Sue Grafton in non alphabetical novels of fiction. It was a mirage, the computer had said no. But I picked it up anyway and raced back to the front counter before the book melted before my eyes.
"Oh, where did you find that ?" She asked.
I just smiled and waved vaguely behind me
"Over there".
I said goodbye to my Melbourne travellers and beat a hasty retreat for the exit. Airports make my eyes and throat ache, same as Doctor's waiting rooms and dentists. I virtuously went to pay for my parking,
Remember Pay For Parking Before You Leave, Big Important signs everywhere ? Well I fed the ticket in $17.00, and went to put in my Eftpos card, very small sign then said, we accept only cash or credit card. Hmmmm
I pushed an alarm button and a disembodied voice of a young girl boomed out at me. Was it the same young girl of the book sellers, it sounded like it, maybe she moonlighted as a parking person. I quickly explained my situation and her reply (I'm sure it was the same girl)
"You have to go back in the Terminal, access another machine and get the cash out and come back".
I peeked around the machine and saw a girl standing at an office door talking to me on a mike. Ha, wasn't the same girl.
So I stomped, yes, stomped back to the terminal, stomping in my heels and eventually found a cash machine grabbed out twenty dollars and raced back to the Parking Machine, fed my ticket back in $23.00, Bingo !!!
Back on the intercom again, Zzzzzzz went the buzzer, the girl was so close I could hear her buzzer buzzing.
The air turned blue as I spoke, (Ok, I shouted ) at the bleeping bleeping machine trying to charge me an extra six dollars for two minutes worth of stomping. She promised to adjust and all the customers milling around heard my wrath.
As a parting shot to the machine and its disembodied voice I pushed the button and said,
"How about you get some huge signs that say, the bleeping parking machine only takes credit cards and cash and Not Eftpos" I did not say, You Dimwit but she would have got the drift. I had my new adjusted ticket in my hot sticky little hand first, I'm no dimwit.
I took off out of the place as if the Hounds Of The Baskervilles were snapping at my heels and approached the Boom Gate. I gently placed the ticket in as I had a feeling I was being watched as some sort of radical, ha ha, and Bingo! it came up
"You Have Not Paid Your $23.00"
Zzzzzz, I pushed the intercom marked with a tiny green phone symbol.
"Its the $17.00 lady"
The disembodied voice sighed, ha, same girl. she was a multi tasker I must say.
I explained my predicament,
"Did you take the fresh ticket I gave you" she asked, patiently I swear I had to bite my tongue till it almost bled,
"Yes", I said meekly,
The boom gate lifted.
"have a nice day" I heard from the disembodied voice but I was away and zooming home and it was just an echo in my head. I won't say what I said in reply as my Mother told me not to curse, but it wasn't,
"Have a Nice Day "
I sallied forth to the Airport again last night. Mladenka was returning home and of course Baby Andrej. I knew it would be hard to say goodbye but it had to be done. Mladenka in the last few days was getting homesick for home and hearth. She hasn't flown since she was 7 and was having her second flight in a week.
My brother warned me of the traffic going the other way back to Redcliffe and we could see the traffic wending it's slow way out of the city. Bumper to bumper it was and it was just three o'clock. We were heartily glad we were going the other way and I decided to take it slow as we approached the airport, of course I had done it too fast, just half an hour to get there.
I parked close to the entrance doors to the terminal in the multi story car park and we gathered up baby and car seat and bags and suitcase and like beasts of burden we slowly trailed inside the massive terminal. All around are signs to say
"Don't forget to pay for your parking before you exit"
Seems like there is never a human these days just automatic everything. We went straight to Jetstar to unload the baggage. An old man stood at the entry wearing a smart red vest. He looked at Mladenka's boarding pass and at the two of us standing there loaded up.
"You can't come in here till 4.35", he said and handed back the passes.
"Can't we just put the luggage in " I said. It was just on 4pm.
"You can put the luggage on at 4.35, Madam" he said again in an oh so patient voice as if I was clearly mentally deficient.
Being me, I replied,
Oh, for fucks sake"
and we retired to a cafe to sit and wait the half hour or the exact 35 minutes.
To our left was a table of 3 women in their 30's. Upwardly mobile yummy mummy's in juicy couture with school age kids. All the 3 were on their Iphones and there was no conversation at the table. Behind me was an American girl talking loudly in to her phone and her companion was on her smart phone checking for Facebook updates. Did she think she was Julia Gillard and was needed to run the country ???
A young child of one of the 3 women approached his Mother and she said to him patiently,
"Go get you Ipad out honey "
I wondered how we ever lived without modern technology? Maybe we spoke to each other like Mladenka and I were. She went off to pick out an over old plastic wrapped sandwich of gristle that was hard enough to pop your fillings out and we crunched into it in silence. It was a bargain for $10.50. (I kid you not !)
At the carefully allotted time of 4.35 Mladenka was able to check her bags in and we meandered towards the gate lounge. I left Mladenka there and baby and went in to the book shop slash Newsagent. I surveyed the crime fiction shelves looking for my favourite Author Sue Grafton. I heard she had a new book out in the Alphabet Murder series, A is for Alibi, etc. I've been collecting them since Andrej's Dad, Kyle was a Pup.
I looked at popular novels, zilch, and then at crime, double checking twice, so I asked the Assistant for her assistance. She crossed to her brand new super duper computer,
"No", she said, "Looks like we haven't had them for a while"
I went looking for something else to amuse me, "Power play for Upwardly Mobile Morons who don't want to work but want all the trappings " type of thing didn't grab me. Or how to have your bum whipped in a shade of grey, by a dirty old man Then I magically found the new Sue Grafton in non alphabetical novels of fiction. It was a mirage, the computer had said no. But I picked it up anyway and raced back to the front counter before the book melted before my eyes.
"Oh, where did you find that ?" She asked.
I just smiled and waved vaguely behind me
"Over there".
I said goodbye to my Melbourne travellers and beat a hasty retreat for the exit. Airports make my eyes and throat ache, same as Doctor's waiting rooms and dentists. I virtuously went to pay for my parking,
Remember Pay For Parking Before You Leave, Big Important signs everywhere ? Well I fed the ticket in $17.00, and went to put in my Eftpos card, very small sign then said, we accept only cash or credit card. Hmmmm
I pushed an alarm button and a disembodied voice of a young girl boomed out at me. Was it the same young girl of the book sellers, it sounded like it, maybe she moonlighted as a parking person. I quickly explained my situation and her reply (I'm sure it was the same girl)
"You have to go back in the Terminal, access another machine and get the cash out and come back".
I peeked around the machine and saw a girl standing at an office door talking to me on a mike. Ha, wasn't the same girl.
So I stomped, yes, stomped back to the terminal, stomping in my heels and eventually found a cash machine grabbed out twenty dollars and raced back to the Parking Machine, fed my ticket back in $23.00, Bingo !!!
Back on the intercom again, Zzzzzzz went the buzzer, the girl was so close I could hear her buzzer buzzing.
The air turned blue as I spoke, (Ok, I shouted ) at the bleeping bleeping machine trying to charge me an extra six dollars for two minutes worth of stomping. She promised to adjust and all the customers milling around heard my wrath.
As a parting shot to the machine and its disembodied voice I pushed the button and said,
"How about you get some huge signs that say, the bleeping parking machine only takes credit cards and cash and Not Eftpos" I did not say, You Dimwit but she would have got the drift. I had my new adjusted ticket in my hot sticky little hand first, I'm no dimwit.
I took off out of the place as if the Hounds Of The Baskervilles were snapping at my heels and approached the Boom Gate. I gently placed the ticket in as I had a feeling I was being watched as some sort of radical, ha ha, and Bingo! it came up
"You Have Not Paid Your $23.00"
Zzzzzz, I pushed the intercom marked with a tiny green phone symbol.
"Its the $17.00 lady"
The disembodied voice sighed, ha, same girl. she was a multi tasker I must say.
I explained my predicament,
"Did you take the fresh ticket I gave you" she asked, patiently I swear I had to bite my tongue till it almost bled,
"Yes", I said meekly,
The boom gate lifted.
"have a nice day" I heard from the disembodied voice but I was away and zooming home and it was just an echo in my head. I won't say what I said in reply as my Mother told me not to curse, but it wasn't,
"Have a Nice Day "
