The Future
Without Prejudice
No more looking back. Give yourself and all you have ever met, a fresh start. Forget their sins and failures and your OWN.
I read that this morning and I thought how apt it is, to do that. And we are having a fresh start today, (more about that later,) but really is there any point in not forgiving, ???
Or forgetting, it's hard to do both. Forgive as much as you want but don't forget the lesson learned. We all do, we are only human, but if you develop it as a habit it will stay with you for life.
That was then and this is now, and if I can go on believing in life and all the good stuff after losing a lovely child, you can too.
I am no different to anyone else, I have even at my age, still things to forgive and get over, but I'm trying, and as my Mother always said,
"Yes, very !!!!!"
I forgave my ex husband when I realised he just is the character he was. He was a bigger than life character that is missing an empathy gene. He can be kind and generous but he is what he is. Just fairly crazy and a bit too cruel and nasty tempered. He is the Scorpion in the fable of the frog and the Scorpion and that is unchangeable.
The counsellors said after Lauren died, he would always be the man he was, and they were right. He will always hurt the things he loves most. It's just his nature. He likes being bad tempered and irascible, a bit of a Sociopath but he's comfortable the way he is, you just can't change a person's nature.
I try these days to only hang around with happy productive people. miserable people are just plain hard work. You seem to get sucked into their vortex of misery, addicts are some of the worst. Sitting there with smug faces as if to say,
"The world owes me a living"
The world doesn't own anyone a living, life is what you make it!
And the reason I am such a little "know it all" is because I really have seen it all before. I would be hard pressed to not have met at 60, most of the same type of characters, I have been meeting all my life. I have been smart enough to realise I don't want to listen to their pathetic excuses as to why they are such "losers".
Most Junkies or ex junkies take too many drugs and are therefore "fucked Up", I'd say a lot of them are LAZY, and don't want to do the work and people that let them get away with that sort of behaviour are even worse. A kid is a kid is a kid, no matter what the age.
The tantrum throwers aren't getting what they want, so they shout and yell. They are best ignored until they are ready to start behaving themselves. There's a lot of silly men that do that. Men hate being rejected it's true, but no good woman is going to put up with tantrums.
And men hate being nagged, there is always a part of men that wants to stay little naughty boys. Yvette and I are experts in the ways of boys growing in to men. We've raised 7 of them, mostly without men and so far they are turning out "Reasonable" We know how to get them to do what we want. And we know when to back away when they are being "Men".
Yes, honey we have seen your willy, now put it away.
I remember the delight of Kyan coming out of the bath and seeing his cuzzy bro with no clothes on as well. Kyan at two and three loved to just be naked, all the time.
But when he saw his 2 year younger cousin naked, he said,
" Dylan's got a willy, too, and mines, BIGGER !"
Yvette replied,
"Yes baby and you are going to be saying that all your life "
We had another one that used to stuff clothing inside his clothes, ultimately looking like a Michelin man. We had no idea why but we had a feeling it was something sexual or he was freezing to death all the time. In the ways of boys, we've had just about 23 years of experience. Nothing shocks any more.
We had to raise them as women on our own as the sweet innocent boy, Simon, who fathered 5 of the boys would not could not get off drugs. Hapless criminal as well. Yvette adored him but gave up trying to "Save" him from himself.
Simon is quite happy being what he is and every so often goes "away", refer to previous comment, "Hapless Criminal". He's a lovely guy but a mess on drugs, which his boys by now have grown used to. They luckily don't follow him, although the oldest one was heading down the slippery slope for a while. It's taken 2 years and much heartache and counselling to get over that major hump.
That remains a fluid plan (lol). He wants to be a Policeman and so does his younger brother, Zak, we always joke that the first person they'd be arresting would be their Dad. Well the boys are back at home after being away in their own unit for a while. Yes, we are overcrowded.
Mum seems to be happy that her boys are all home under the one roof. We were on the radio on Friday telling Bridget Duclo what to expect when you have teen boys staying over at the weekends, she'd never had a son's mate staying over before.
Yvette and I couldn't stop laughing, Food, Mess, Noise, lots of mumbling, packaging from junk food and lots of Food. Snacks, "real food" like dim sims, hot dogs, cereal, milk, more junk food, Jai our almost 14 year old has Dominos Pizza on speed dial.
We have the cocky oldest one, who thinks he is God's gift to females. Yeah right ! The shy good looking second oldest, who is just beautiful, Zach would be the best of the lot to be married to. Then there's good looking lazy arrogant Brock, who lounges around a lot and spends more time thinking how to be lazy that doing anything.
Then Jai, who is freaking "Sheldon" from The Big Band and is trying to not be a "know it All", but we are still waiting on that one. He can sing and act and he's a personable, confident striking looking red head and I love that. Then there is Kyan who is soft and shy and loves everyone and gets bullied of course so we have to toughen him up.
There'a Acer, who needs no toughening up as he already is and so is his little bubble of delight brother, Cruz, Cruz is happy and confident too and just starting to get cheeky.
Boys are lovely. I had 4 girls and I would say girls are harder work. All that emotion and hormones. Aaarghh
Love Janette
No more looking back. Give yourself and all you have ever met, a fresh start. Forget their sins and failures and your OWN.
I read that this morning and I thought how apt it is, to do that. And we are having a fresh start today, (more about that later,) but really is there any point in not forgiving, ???
Or forgetting, it's hard to do both. Forgive as much as you want but don't forget the lesson learned. We all do, we are only human, but if you develop it as a habit it will stay with you for life.
That was then and this is now, and if I can go on believing in life and all the good stuff after losing a lovely child, you can too.
I am no different to anyone else, I have even at my age, still things to forgive and get over, but I'm trying, and as my Mother always said,
"Yes, very !!!!!"
I forgave my ex husband when I realised he just is the character he was. He was a bigger than life character that is missing an empathy gene. He can be kind and generous but he is what he is. Just fairly crazy and a bit too cruel and nasty tempered. He is the Scorpion in the fable of the frog and the Scorpion and that is unchangeable.
The counsellors said after Lauren died, he would always be the man he was, and they were right. He will always hurt the things he loves most. It's just his nature. He likes being bad tempered and irascible, a bit of a Sociopath but he's comfortable the way he is, you just can't change a person's nature.
I try these days to only hang around with happy productive people. miserable people are just plain hard work. You seem to get sucked into their vortex of misery, addicts are some of the worst. Sitting there with smug faces as if to say,
"The world owes me a living"
The world doesn't own anyone a living, life is what you make it!
And the reason I am such a little "know it all" is because I really have seen it all before. I would be hard pressed to not have met at 60, most of the same type of characters, I have been meeting all my life. I have been smart enough to realise I don't want to listen to their pathetic excuses as to why they are such "losers".
Most Junkies or ex junkies take too many drugs and are therefore "fucked Up", I'd say a lot of them are LAZY, and don't want to do the work and people that let them get away with that sort of behaviour are even worse. A kid is a kid is a kid, no matter what the age.
The tantrum throwers aren't getting what they want, so they shout and yell. They are best ignored until they are ready to start behaving themselves. There's a lot of silly men that do that. Men hate being rejected it's true, but no good woman is going to put up with tantrums.
And men hate being nagged, there is always a part of men that wants to stay little naughty boys. Yvette and I are experts in the ways of boys growing in to men. We've raised 7 of them, mostly without men and so far they are turning out "Reasonable" We know how to get them to do what we want. And we know when to back away when they are being "Men".
Yes, honey we have seen your willy, now put it away.
I remember the delight of Kyan coming out of the bath and seeing his cuzzy bro with no clothes on as well. Kyan at two and three loved to just be naked, all the time.
But when he saw his 2 year younger cousin naked, he said,
" Dylan's got a willy, too, and mines, BIGGER !"
Yvette replied,
"Yes baby and you are going to be saying that all your life "
We had another one that used to stuff clothing inside his clothes, ultimately looking like a Michelin man. We had no idea why but we had a feeling it was something sexual or he was freezing to death all the time. In the ways of boys, we've had just about 23 years of experience. Nothing shocks any more.
We had to raise them as women on our own as the sweet innocent boy, Simon, who fathered 5 of the boys would not could not get off drugs. Hapless criminal as well. Yvette adored him but gave up trying to "Save" him from himself.
Simon is quite happy being what he is and every so often goes "away", refer to previous comment, "Hapless Criminal". He's a lovely guy but a mess on drugs, which his boys by now have grown used to. They luckily don't follow him, although the oldest one was heading down the slippery slope for a while. It's taken 2 years and much heartache and counselling to get over that major hump.
That remains a fluid plan (lol). He wants to be a Policeman and so does his younger brother, Zak, we always joke that the first person they'd be arresting would be their Dad. Well the boys are back at home after being away in their own unit for a while. Yes, we are overcrowded.
Mum seems to be happy that her boys are all home under the one roof. We were on the radio on Friday telling Bridget Duclo what to expect when you have teen boys staying over at the weekends, she'd never had a son's mate staying over before.
Yvette and I couldn't stop laughing, Food, Mess, Noise, lots of mumbling, packaging from junk food and lots of Food. Snacks, "real food" like dim sims, hot dogs, cereal, milk, more junk food, Jai our almost 14 year old has Dominos Pizza on speed dial.
We have the cocky oldest one, who thinks he is God's gift to females. Yeah right ! The shy good looking second oldest, who is just beautiful, Zach would be the best of the lot to be married to. Then there's good looking lazy arrogant Brock, who lounges around a lot and spends more time thinking how to be lazy that doing anything.
Then Jai, who is freaking "Sheldon" from The Big Band and is trying to not be a "know it All", but we are still waiting on that one. He can sing and act and he's a personable, confident striking looking red head and I love that. Then there is Kyan who is soft and shy and loves everyone and gets bullied of course so we have to toughen him up.
There'a Acer, who needs no toughening up as he already is and so is his little bubble of delight brother, Cruz, Cruz is happy and confident too and just starting to get cheeky.
Boys are lovely. I had 4 girls and I would say girls are harder work. All that emotion and hormones. Aaarghh
Love Janette
