Lauren and Beauty
Without Prejudice
You never forget them nor their beauty. Lauren at 12 was beyond beautiful, she was electrifying. The year she died she was becoming the woman she was destined to be. She was in love with 1927, Guns N Roses, Poison and her "newborn" doll. She was a child in so many ways and a woman in others. About 3 weeks before she died she said to me from the backseat of the "truck" we owned, the Limited Edition Jeep Cherokee.
"Mum", she said.
"Yes", I replied.
"You know how you don't like my messy room ?"
" Mmm", I replied, one eye on the road ahead.
"Well, its my life so I want you to just shut the door"
"Ok"
Lauren's room had always been a small bone of contention between us. It was always a mess, no matter how many times I cleaned it or complained. You literally could not get from the door to the window for mess. And yet, she would step out of it neat as a new pin. Hair immaculate, clothes pretty and clean, and we dubbed it "pig pen" in a funny way.
That year she also went to Bali with Me and Deb and Alena. She was already a veteran flyer to interstate but this was the first time she had been overseas and to say she adored it would be an understatement. She ate Bali up, made it hers, her love, her experience.
She was "the Otter" and in Bali what we saw of Lauren was her head or tail disappearing under the water in the huge pool at The Hotel Putri Bali, or bargaining fiercely with the street vendors. She was the best out of all of us at bargaining, swimming and making friends with everyone and anyone. She delighted in it all.
Her and I were the only ones that jumped off the small boat to go snorkelling in the warm waters. The others stayed on the boat in the early morning sun. Queasy. However once we dragged our selves back on to the boat she was immediately sea sick, violently over and over, never a good traveller, Lauren. One of those kids that they have to stop the school excursion bus for so she could be sick.
And the "coconut" which she and Alena had found and kept trying to break by throwing off the top level of stairs. Deb and I had to go out and threaten them with terrifying punishments if they didn't stop with their constant thump thump thump in trying to break that damn coconut! They just laughed and kept on doing it so we retired to pool and swim up bar and consoled ourselves by running up the bar tab which we booked up to my ex hubby.
Obsentisbly he was in Korea searching for wire for the Business, but really he was in The Phillipines spending time with his new mistress Anna Lynne, a bar girl of 18, he wanted to "save" from a life of prostitution. He wanted to bring her out to Australia as our housekeeper. he was nuts but we just listened to his rants against us. He had 3 pages of written complaints about mje and the girls as to what we had done wrong to him.
He often read them to us and we just listened.
Number one on the list was us eating his chocolate which he kept hidden in the safe in the bedroom along with thousands of dollars which he would show us and then lock away. He spent $12,000 on each trip to the Phillipines and he gave us 4, me and the 3 girls Four Hundred dollars spending money for ten days in Bali. As much as he was sending Anna Lynn for a month to keep her off the streets'
He came home that time with VD tablets in his case, half used and threatened to hit me when I discovered them, they were for a "friend" he said. We all knew what he was up to but no one cared. He had already moved out and we still ran the business together but there was no love lost between him and I. I despised him, hated him.
When Lauren died in a drowning tragedy 5 months later at 12, he moved back home to be "Of Comfort to the family", we wished he hadn't. I asked him to leave within five months and even though I was terrified of him in the past I wasn't when I asked him to leave. I hated his guts by then and never ever missed him and yet had been married to him from 17 for 20 years. Given birth to his children, lain cheek by jowl beside him in bed for 20 years.
Lauren was my thought. She was dead and he, this nasty jealous, vindictive man was still alive, it was nuts. I hated him then and am indifferent to him now. All these years later he sees not one of his girls, hasn't for years nor any of his beautiful grand kids. And what we hear back from him after 22 years is that we are all a waste of space and he has a "perfect" life now.
None of his family can stand him as he is a blow hard and can never be wrong and every one else is shit. He really believes that. He lives on acres somewhere and if he can rubbish someone else he will. He hates all his old workers, idiots, they have driven his trucks off cliffs, sued him, threatened him with guns and he blames them all, never ever himself.
Lauren remained devoted to her Dad as that was who she was. But she came back to me 18 months after she died and had 3 messages with her.
1. Her Dad and I weren't meant to be together, we were on different paths in life.
2. I was going to be "fine", better than "fine" and
3. I was to write....., not letters to her. I was just to write......
So Lauren remains in our hearts and minds as a loving being that cam into our lives to show us all the beauty of true love and happiness and then she was gone. Only her physical body gone but her spirit lives on her spirit remaining in beauty, sweetness and innocence.
Thank you for reading,
Love Janette
You never forget them nor their beauty. Lauren at 12 was beyond beautiful, she was electrifying. The year she died she was becoming the woman she was destined to be. She was in love with 1927, Guns N Roses, Poison and her "newborn" doll. She was a child in so many ways and a woman in others. About 3 weeks before she died she said to me from the backseat of the "truck" we owned, the Limited Edition Jeep Cherokee.
"Mum", she said.
"Yes", I replied.
"You know how you don't like my messy room ?"
" Mmm", I replied, one eye on the road ahead.
"Well, its my life so I want you to just shut the door"
"Ok"
Lauren's room had always been a small bone of contention between us. It was always a mess, no matter how many times I cleaned it or complained. You literally could not get from the door to the window for mess. And yet, she would step out of it neat as a new pin. Hair immaculate, clothes pretty and clean, and we dubbed it "pig pen" in a funny way.
That year she also went to Bali with Me and Deb and Alena. She was already a veteran flyer to interstate but this was the first time she had been overseas and to say she adored it would be an understatement. She ate Bali up, made it hers, her love, her experience.
She was "the Otter" and in Bali what we saw of Lauren was her head or tail disappearing under the water in the huge pool at The Hotel Putri Bali, or bargaining fiercely with the street vendors. She was the best out of all of us at bargaining, swimming and making friends with everyone and anyone. She delighted in it all.
Her and I were the only ones that jumped off the small boat to go snorkelling in the warm waters. The others stayed on the boat in the early morning sun. Queasy. However once we dragged our selves back on to the boat she was immediately sea sick, violently over and over, never a good traveller, Lauren. One of those kids that they have to stop the school excursion bus for so she could be sick.
And the "coconut" which she and Alena had found and kept trying to break by throwing off the top level of stairs. Deb and I had to go out and threaten them with terrifying punishments if they didn't stop with their constant thump thump thump in trying to break that damn coconut! They just laughed and kept on doing it so we retired to pool and swim up bar and consoled ourselves by running up the bar tab which we booked up to my ex hubby.
Obsentisbly he was in Korea searching for wire for the Business, but really he was in The Phillipines spending time with his new mistress Anna Lynne, a bar girl of 18, he wanted to "save" from a life of prostitution. He wanted to bring her out to Australia as our housekeeper. he was nuts but we just listened to his rants against us. He had 3 pages of written complaints about mje and the girls as to what we had done wrong to him.
He often read them to us and we just listened.
Number one on the list was us eating his chocolate which he kept hidden in the safe in the bedroom along with thousands of dollars which he would show us and then lock away. He spent $12,000 on each trip to the Phillipines and he gave us 4, me and the 3 girls Four Hundred dollars spending money for ten days in Bali. As much as he was sending Anna Lynn for a month to keep her off the streets'
He came home that time with VD tablets in his case, half used and threatened to hit me when I discovered them, they were for a "friend" he said. We all knew what he was up to but no one cared. He had already moved out and we still ran the business together but there was no love lost between him and I. I despised him, hated him.
When Lauren died in a drowning tragedy 5 months later at 12, he moved back home to be "Of Comfort to the family", we wished he hadn't. I asked him to leave within five months and even though I was terrified of him in the past I wasn't when I asked him to leave. I hated his guts by then and never ever missed him and yet had been married to him from 17 for 20 years. Given birth to his children, lain cheek by jowl beside him in bed for 20 years.
Lauren was my thought. She was dead and he, this nasty jealous, vindictive man was still alive, it was nuts. I hated him then and am indifferent to him now. All these years later he sees not one of his girls, hasn't for years nor any of his beautiful grand kids. And what we hear back from him after 22 years is that we are all a waste of space and he has a "perfect" life now.
None of his family can stand him as he is a blow hard and can never be wrong and every one else is shit. He really believes that. He lives on acres somewhere and if he can rubbish someone else he will. He hates all his old workers, idiots, they have driven his trucks off cliffs, sued him, threatened him with guns and he blames them all, never ever himself.
Lauren remained devoted to her Dad as that was who she was. But she came back to me 18 months after she died and had 3 messages with her.
1. Her Dad and I weren't meant to be together, we were on different paths in life.
2. I was going to be "fine", better than "fine" and
3. I was to write....., not letters to her. I was just to write......
So Lauren remains in our hearts and minds as a loving being that cam into our lives to show us all the beauty of true love and happiness and then she was gone. Only her physical body gone but her spirit lives on her spirit remaining in beauty, sweetness and innocence.
Thank you for reading,
Love Janette
