What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted ?
Without Prejudice
When do we give up ? At what point do we say enough is enough ? Does infidelity in a marriage mean that we must give up on a person we have loved for a long time? Women have to be considered in their actions. How will it affect her, how will it affect the kids ? Our first instinct is to condemn the other party as we are hurt and feel rejected and is that enough to end a marriage ?
Or we condemn the other party and hate them with a passion. And is it then that "other" person's fault that the marriage ended? Isn't it more that the main relationship is in trouble ? And if the "other" person is removed and their is no counselling, will there be another ? So when do we give up ? Do we seek excuses for the affair or do we self examine and find ourselves wanting ?
I recently went through exactly that situation and found to my surprise I was shattered. Shattered beyond all belief. I knew by that night I was not going to sleep for at least six weeks. Heart broken didn't even come in to it. I fell apart and wondered at my reaction. They say a life unexamined is not worth living and I wondered endlessly as to what I had done wrong ? I couldn't eat, nor sleep and I am old enough and wise enough to know better.
I turned my face to the wall and sobbed like a baby, hurt beyond all measure. To him it wasn't even important. I guess he didn't know the depth of my silly feelings. He had been hurt and he saw his actions as nothing, something I should just understand and I didn't. Since he had been hurt he thought all women were the same, shallow and uncaring. Just "gold diggers".
It would have been better if he had told me himself but I felt like I wasn't even worth that sort of respect. And worse than that our friendship was gone and gone forever and I guess I grieved that more than anything. We had been able to bounce off each other and then I felt betrayed and cast aside.
What becomes of the broken hearted ? Some men seem to get hurt once and their ego demands retribution. Do they not realise they are half to blame? That in every marriage, every relationship there is two people ? That half and half is the way it works. Do they have to rush out and hurt other women to feel better and nurse their hurt and their grudges. .......yes, they do.
I have known older men who were hurt once and carry that hurt for the rest of their lives. They then think all women deserve to be not trusted and that the cause of the infidelity lies not with them, but with "Her". "She" is to blame, she is the bad one and it has nothing at all to do with them. They learn nothing and either stay on their own wearing their heart ache like a badge of courage. Or move from woman to woman and the same problems continue.
A life unexamined.
I grow weary of such men, they bore me. the same arguments over and over.
And what became of this broken heart, well it breaks just like anyone elses but I am sure in time it will recover and now I feel too old and too weary to ever try again.
Love Janette
When do we give up ? At what point do we say enough is enough ? Does infidelity in a marriage mean that we must give up on a person we have loved for a long time? Women have to be considered in their actions. How will it affect her, how will it affect the kids ? Our first instinct is to condemn the other party as we are hurt and feel rejected and is that enough to end a marriage ?
Or we condemn the other party and hate them with a passion. And is it then that "other" person's fault that the marriage ended? Isn't it more that the main relationship is in trouble ? And if the "other" person is removed and their is no counselling, will there be another ? So when do we give up ? Do we seek excuses for the affair or do we self examine and find ourselves wanting ?
I recently went through exactly that situation and found to my surprise I was shattered. Shattered beyond all belief. I knew by that night I was not going to sleep for at least six weeks. Heart broken didn't even come in to it. I fell apart and wondered at my reaction. They say a life unexamined is not worth living and I wondered endlessly as to what I had done wrong ? I couldn't eat, nor sleep and I am old enough and wise enough to know better.
I turned my face to the wall and sobbed like a baby, hurt beyond all measure. To him it wasn't even important. I guess he didn't know the depth of my silly feelings. He had been hurt and he saw his actions as nothing, something I should just understand and I didn't. Since he had been hurt he thought all women were the same, shallow and uncaring. Just "gold diggers".
It would have been better if he had told me himself but I felt like I wasn't even worth that sort of respect. And worse than that our friendship was gone and gone forever and I guess I grieved that more than anything. We had been able to bounce off each other and then I felt betrayed and cast aside.
What becomes of the broken hearted ? Some men seem to get hurt once and their ego demands retribution. Do they not realise they are half to blame? That in every marriage, every relationship there is two people ? That half and half is the way it works. Do they have to rush out and hurt other women to feel better and nurse their hurt and their grudges. .......yes, they do.
I have known older men who were hurt once and carry that hurt for the rest of their lives. They then think all women deserve to be not trusted and that the cause of the infidelity lies not with them, but with "Her". "She" is to blame, she is the bad one and it has nothing at all to do with them. They learn nothing and either stay on their own wearing their heart ache like a badge of courage. Or move from woman to woman and the same problems continue.
A life unexamined.
I grow weary of such men, they bore me. the same arguments over and over.
And what became of this broken heart, well it breaks just like anyone elses but I am sure in time it will recover and now I feel too old and too weary to ever try again.
Love Janette
