Thank You My Darling Readers
Without Prejudice
I cannot thank you my readers enough. You have followed me for nearly a year now and I am so grateful. I would have been happy for a 100 people to like my stories but now there are 20,000 of you and growing by 200 every day. I just love you guys !
The writing has been so good for me and has helped me get back to normal weight, reconnect with my family and has healed my heart over and over. As my Family Doctor, Dr Johnston says it has been my therapy. At first I had to be pushed to do it. Pushed by my younger brother David and my baby girl Lauren R.I.P. to write,
"Just write"
I have laughed out loud and sobbed. I have recalled what great parents I had and ditto to my wonderful family. I have talked of my remaining 3 girls and the frustrations of being Mum and Dad for the last 23 years. I've worked through the difficulties and out the other side and there is so much more to write.
I'm a lucky woman and I know it and I thank you, my readers every day for reading and not judging me. I've taken on drug dealers and criminals, yelled at nut jobs and almost became one myself. I've fallen in and out of love many times and usually with the wrong men. I've copped a few blows in my life and I probably deserved some and not others.
I've put my girls first before me and I was glad to do so, honoured to do so as they needed a strong decent Mum and I was determined to be that. A role model for them as a strong woman. But I am human too and have fallen down more times than I care to remember. Fallen to the floor in supplication to a God I never believed in and asked for forgiveness and help. And it always came.
I have lived, laughed, cried, crawled before I could walk, had hope for the future, sometimes, just a spark, in a sea of grey. I have spoken of depression and winter depression, of high times and sad times and I hope I have always "Never Come Lightly To The Blank Page" I have always wanted to tell my truth as I saw it.
My ex husband was not pleased to read my words even though I never really was as harsh and uncaring as I could have been. I was happy he and I split up as we were never suited. However we shared a history and children and that I wanted to explore to better understand myself and others. I never wanted to make the same mistakes again and being human I did.
I have grabbed people and threatened to kill them, I have hit a man once in retaliation and fear and I am ashamed to say I loved it. At the time I felt 15 foot tall and not unlike Zena, The Warrior Woman. I have crawled under dirty houses to rescue kids, taken them in and looked after them and loved them. And often they will snap or bite just like rabid dogs and I have faced one of those too, although he was a pit bull and not really rabid.
I've worked at jobs I hated at first and learned to love, like cleaning. And I've worked at high end jobs that I found boring and trite. I have lived over and over the death of my daughter and I know now I will miss her every day for the rest of my life. Lauren was a really beautiful girl and I don't say that just because I am her Mum. She was, is and will always be a guiding light for the rest of us. All of us put together could not possibly hope to match her innocence and care but we try.
I've helped people to be housed, to have hope when there is none and now I help myself first, the better to serve others. And more importantly I have learned to back away when people don't want help. I now allow them to make up their own minds even if I see the bleeding obvious.
Thank you all my readers, each and every one of you. Without you I would not have continued when the going was rough. I feel so much better these days than I did twelve months ago. Writing has helped, music has helped, Campe den helped and the love and support of my Family has helped. My sisters and brothers especially who refused to give up> My daughters who refused to give up on me and you, thank you.
Love Janette
I cannot thank you my readers enough. You have followed me for nearly a year now and I am so grateful. I would have been happy for a 100 people to like my stories but now there are 20,000 of you and growing by 200 every day. I just love you guys !
The writing has been so good for me and has helped me get back to normal weight, reconnect with my family and has healed my heart over and over. As my Family Doctor, Dr Johnston says it has been my therapy. At first I had to be pushed to do it. Pushed by my younger brother David and my baby girl Lauren R.I.P. to write,
"Just write"
I have laughed out loud and sobbed. I have recalled what great parents I had and ditto to my wonderful family. I have talked of my remaining 3 girls and the frustrations of being Mum and Dad for the last 23 years. I've worked through the difficulties and out the other side and there is so much more to write.
I'm a lucky woman and I know it and I thank you, my readers every day for reading and not judging me. I've taken on drug dealers and criminals, yelled at nut jobs and almost became one myself. I've fallen in and out of love many times and usually with the wrong men. I've copped a few blows in my life and I probably deserved some and not others.
I've put my girls first before me and I was glad to do so, honoured to do so as they needed a strong decent Mum and I was determined to be that. A role model for them as a strong woman. But I am human too and have fallen down more times than I care to remember. Fallen to the floor in supplication to a God I never believed in and asked for forgiveness and help. And it always came.
I have lived, laughed, cried, crawled before I could walk, had hope for the future, sometimes, just a spark, in a sea of grey. I have spoken of depression and winter depression, of high times and sad times and I hope I have always "Never Come Lightly To The Blank Page" I have always wanted to tell my truth as I saw it.
My ex husband was not pleased to read my words even though I never really was as harsh and uncaring as I could have been. I was happy he and I split up as we were never suited. However we shared a history and children and that I wanted to explore to better understand myself and others. I never wanted to make the same mistakes again and being human I did.
I have grabbed people and threatened to kill them, I have hit a man once in retaliation and fear and I am ashamed to say I loved it. At the time I felt 15 foot tall and not unlike Zena, The Warrior Woman. I have crawled under dirty houses to rescue kids, taken them in and looked after them and loved them. And often they will snap or bite just like rabid dogs and I have faced one of those too, although he was a pit bull and not really rabid.
I've worked at jobs I hated at first and learned to love, like cleaning. And I've worked at high end jobs that I found boring and trite. I have lived over and over the death of my daughter and I know now I will miss her every day for the rest of my life. Lauren was a really beautiful girl and I don't say that just because I am her Mum. She was, is and will always be a guiding light for the rest of us. All of us put together could not possibly hope to match her innocence and care but we try.
I've helped people to be housed, to have hope when there is none and now I help myself first, the better to serve others. And more importantly I have learned to back away when people don't want help. I now allow them to make up their own minds even if I see the bleeding obvious.
Thank you all my readers, each and every one of you. Without you I would not have continued when the going was rough. I feel so much better these days than I did twelve months ago. Writing has helped, music has helped, Campe den helped and the love and support of my Family has helped. My sisters and brothers especially who refused to give up> My daughters who refused to give up on me and you, thank you.
Love Janette
