The Dead Puppy Theory
Without Prejudice
One of my girlfriends has a theory on relationships, she calls it the Dead Puppy theory, saying,
"What do you do when your puppy, dies?"
"Answer, you get another one"
Well thats her theory any way.
And it is only theory, she said earlier this year, after moving out from her "Soul Mate" of 3 years, that she is never ever having anything to do with a male, ever again. Ever! But I doubt it.
Past behaviour becoming new behavior if we are not careful. We have to leave the past in the past and move on. Therefore having a "new Puppy" should cure us of all our ills, but it doesn't.
Changing ourselves is the only answer because you can't change a man, ever. he is what he is, and you accept him that way or not at all.
She made a big mistake my friend a few years ago. She divorced her hubby when she really loved him.
And she has never stopped moaning about it since.
And yet at the time she couldn't stand him, offering us her friends, money, to take him away.
Telling him to go to prostitutes in St Kilda, writing contracts and making M and I sign them as witnesses, that she would never have him back, ever again.
It was so full on, her wanting to be rid of him, she was seeing another man who was dull and undynamic and she kept staying out nights, Stating the her husband didn't care where she was and one day he was waiting for her.
And told her he wanted a divorce and they did, quicker than normal, Within five months.
So he could marry A Thai beauty Queen of 19 and he was 60. It didn't work out but he seems to be happy now, marrying a Muslim and changing his religion.
he seemed to find a sense of happiness.
My friend is still as mad as a cut snake.
I doubt she will find her elusive mate as she never knew who her Father was and her Mother left her with relatives at 4.
Her Mother getting across the border without her child and didn't ask for her until she was settled in a new country with a new man.
By that time my friend was 13, she barely knew the stranger that said she was her Mother and in a new country, not speaking English at all. Tough stuff.
And she had left the parental home by 16, her Step Father getting a bit creepy, and boarded with a family, till she married. Just the one marriage and three boys, close in age and she was alwasy expected to work and she was happy in those days.
Handsome young husband, healthy sex life, (Her hubby caught with Porn from Holland) in the back of the fridge they were returning to Australia with. ) He was healthily sexual, Dutch and fantastic to look at and he knew it.
She was not happy for long, however, having to return to work with 3 small boys under 6, the oldest twins, she had her hands full.
Her Husband said he needed help with paying the mortgage, so she went to work, afternoon shift at a tobacco Factory in Cheltenham.
And she resented it, always tired, no sleep, boys during the day, trying to get a nap in before work.
And more importantly she resented the Good Looking hubby, who took the whole of the Summer off, turning himself nut brown and looking better than ever. he was a little vain.
So she met a man at work and the inevitable happened. She said Afternoon shift was rife with intrigue, people sneaking out to the car park to have sex in cars.
She was more discreet and she left her hubby, getting a flat with the three boys, but she came back fairly quickly. And they moved suddenly, to the hills.
The new house fabulous, and she still wasn't happy, working Sundays at St Kilda in a restaurant as a waitress. Almost manic in her overwork, and she met another, man. or two
One a Soccer player, this time, fit, famous, and she felt so unfit she began running. Pointing him out on the TV, when he appeared, she felt also Rich and Famous, almost by Osmosis,
And they split up, her and hubby again, she persuaded him to move out and she was moving someone else in that afternoon.
Until she woke up realised the man she had met was a liar and a con artist and dumped him unceremoniously and asked her hubby back.
I was in awe of her. It was dizzying, and so rebellious of her and I wondered why the hubby was so patient. She said he knew and "got off" on it. Which shocked me even further.
She was almost ten years older than me and would always say,
"Wait till you get to my age and your back is bent and your arms ache"
And I would reach her age and didn't ever feel that bad.
She was always happy and kind and funny and a great friend as well, generous to a fault, totally outrageous. And brave, always racing in where angels feared to tread, I always wondered about that.
Other pressures drove her, she hated being uneducated and we nearly came to blows when I went back to school.
I never ever heard the end of it, just sheer jealousy, but it was draining. I still had to work part time, take care of a hubby and 4 kids, not studying until 11pm every night, and waking sometimes slumped over my desk.
Still not finished a 5,000 word essay on Loneliness or War poetry. I was lucky that I was fairly bright and could cram a lot of knowledge in cribbed from notes and cheat sheets.
Staying up nights before exams and thinking I wouldn't get it but failure was not an option. I wanted to do it for my Mother, who always wanted me to be educated, saying,
"Educate a man and you educate the man, but educate a woman and you educate the family". so I was determined to pass.
And when I did and was presented with the prize for Humanities in English it really blew me away. I couldn't wait for the results then and I passed, gaining enough points to get in to Teachers College at Rusden.
Nothing worth having comes easy, ever, It's just plodding and willing yourself on sometimes. nothing giving you the incentive some days, but you just have to keep going, putting one foot in front of the other.
I had the tantalising carrot in front of me, dreamed of, being handed the certificate on a stage and I chased that dream down and made sure it was not just an elusive one.
So I resented the fact she thought it all came so easy. It sure wasn't easy and B didn't care if I passed or not, until the September when I was nearly there
He then saw it as a cause celebre and told me to "box" on, sensing I was near the end and just burned out. His motivation getting me up and moving again.
So she, my friend hasn't replaced her puppy yet, maybe like she said, she never will.
Sometimes you can't replace something old with something new too quickly, you have to wait, until the empty part of your heart is healed and maybe she's done just that, I hope so,
Love Janette
One of my girlfriends has a theory on relationships, she calls it the Dead Puppy theory, saying,
"What do you do when your puppy, dies?"
"Answer, you get another one"
Well thats her theory any way.
And it is only theory, she said earlier this year, after moving out from her "Soul Mate" of 3 years, that she is never ever having anything to do with a male, ever again. Ever! But I doubt it.
Past behaviour becoming new behavior if we are not careful. We have to leave the past in the past and move on. Therefore having a "new Puppy" should cure us of all our ills, but it doesn't.
Changing ourselves is the only answer because you can't change a man, ever. he is what he is, and you accept him that way or not at all.
She made a big mistake my friend a few years ago. She divorced her hubby when she really loved him.
And she has never stopped moaning about it since.
And yet at the time she couldn't stand him, offering us her friends, money, to take him away.
Telling him to go to prostitutes in St Kilda, writing contracts and making M and I sign them as witnesses, that she would never have him back, ever again.
It was so full on, her wanting to be rid of him, she was seeing another man who was dull and undynamic and she kept staying out nights, Stating the her husband didn't care where she was and one day he was waiting for her.
And told her he wanted a divorce and they did, quicker than normal, Within five months.
So he could marry A Thai beauty Queen of 19 and he was 60. It didn't work out but he seems to be happy now, marrying a Muslim and changing his religion.
he seemed to find a sense of happiness.
My friend is still as mad as a cut snake.
I doubt she will find her elusive mate as she never knew who her Father was and her Mother left her with relatives at 4.
Her Mother getting across the border without her child and didn't ask for her until she was settled in a new country with a new man.
By that time my friend was 13, she barely knew the stranger that said she was her Mother and in a new country, not speaking English at all. Tough stuff.
And she had left the parental home by 16, her Step Father getting a bit creepy, and boarded with a family, till she married. Just the one marriage and three boys, close in age and she was alwasy expected to work and she was happy in those days.
Handsome young husband, healthy sex life, (Her hubby caught with Porn from Holland) in the back of the fridge they were returning to Australia with. ) He was healthily sexual, Dutch and fantastic to look at and he knew it.
She was not happy for long, however, having to return to work with 3 small boys under 6, the oldest twins, she had her hands full.
Her Husband said he needed help with paying the mortgage, so she went to work, afternoon shift at a tobacco Factory in Cheltenham.
And she resented it, always tired, no sleep, boys during the day, trying to get a nap in before work.
And more importantly she resented the Good Looking hubby, who took the whole of the Summer off, turning himself nut brown and looking better than ever. he was a little vain.
So she met a man at work and the inevitable happened. She said Afternoon shift was rife with intrigue, people sneaking out to the car park to have sex in cars.
She was more discreet and she left her hubby, getting a flat with the three boys, but she came back fairly quickly. And they moved suddenly, to the hills.
The new house fabulous, and she still wasn't happy, working Sundays at St Kilda in a restaurant as a waitress. Almost manic in her overwork, and she met another, man. or two
One a Soccer player, this time, fit, famous, and she felt so unfit she began running. Pointing him out on the TV, when he appeared, she felt also Rich and Famous, almost by Osmosis,
And they split up, her and hubby again, she persuaded him to move out and she was moving someone else in that afternoon.
Until she woke up realised the man she had met was a liar and a con artist and dumped him unceremoniously and asked her hubby back.
I was in awe of her. It was dizzying, and so rebellious of her and I wondered why the hubby was so patient. She said he knew and "got off" on it. Which shocked me even further.
She was almost ten years older than me and would always say,
"Wait till you get to my age and your back is bent and your arms ache"
And I would reach her age and didn't ever feel that bad.
She was always happy and kind and funny and a great friend as well, generous to a fault, totally outrageous. And brave, always racing in where angels feared to tread, I always wondered about that.
Other pressures drove her, she hated being uneducated and we nearly came to blows when I went back to school.
I never ever heard the end of it, just sheer jealousy, but it was draining. I still had to work part time, take care of a hubby and 4 kids, not studying until 11pm every night, and waking sometimes slumped over my desk.
Still not finished a 5,000 word essay on Loneliness or War poetry. I was lucky that I was fairly bright and could cram a lot of knowledge in cribbed from notes and cheat sheets.
Staying up nights before exams and thinking I wouldn't get it but failure was not an option. I wanted to do it for my Mother, who always wanted me to be educated, saying,
"Educate a man and you educate the man, but educate a woman and you educate the family". so I was determined to pass.
And when I did and was presented with the prize for Humanities in English it really blew me away. I couldn't wait for the results then and I passed, gaining enough points to get in to Teachers College at Rusden.
Nothing worth having comes easy, ever, It's just plodding and willing yourself on sometimes. nothing giving you the incentive some days, but you just have to keep going, putting one foot in front of the other.
I had the tantalising carrot in front of me, dreamed of, being handed the certificate on a stage and I chased that dream down and made sure it was not just an elusive one.
So I resented the fact she thought it all came so easy. It sure wasn't easy and B didn't care if I passed or not, until the September when I was nearly there
He then saw it as a cause celebre and told me to "box" on, sensing I was near the end and just burned out. His motivation getting me up and moving again.
So she, my friend hasn't replaced her puppy yet, maybe like she said, she never will.
Sometimes you can't replace something old with something new too quickly, you have to wait, until the empty part of your heart is healed and maybe she's done just that, I hope so,
Love Janette
