On writing 16.10.2011
Without Prejudice
It's both cathartic and draining, remembering my girls as babies is wonderful and saddening in a way, now they are grown women and writing about Lauren, absolutely hardest. Harder than anything but I want the girls to know her as I knew her, as her Mum.
And I think she was a gift to me for 12 years. And I have a feeling, she freed me, she freed me from a horrible life. I realised when Bob and I split I had changed, irrevocably.
I couldn't go back to comfort and convenience, and an outburst of violence every 3 months. It was sick, he was sick and I should have left him years before. And stayed left. I hated myself for a long time because of that.
Then I once again had counselling, and decided it was not my fault. It was his sickness, not mine, and as I wrote about my Dad, I realised I loved him very much, but hated his lies and his affairs, and I am afraid I am not very trusting of men because of that, insecure, anxious,
Creeps me out.
And I hate violence.
Love my kids and adore my grand kids, that's a given.
Don't like pretention, Like a simple life, kids, writing, cooking all ways at home and I love that.
I love being able to be free and do what I want.
I love that I have had so many experiences in life and can see the ridiculous in a lot of things.
I love that people like reading my blogs and tell me and tell me off too if I go a little raw.
(Thanks, girls, I told you not to read the rude ones)
I love the characters I have met, characters such as Ivan Munchan, no side to him, he just is what he is. And Cuckoo, and Nev, the wastrel, who healed me with love and affection, and I will always love him, even if he is a brainy little annoying alcoholic. I loved his mind, always his mind.
And Clint so perfectly is what he is, and there is no going out of the square.
I love that I went to Camp Eden and it changed my life, for the better, even though it was hard to be there.
It's great in the writing to realise how many places I have been to, all over the world and had my family with me as they are all crazy and funny and it was great to have that as a kid. I always felt we were the kids in "My Family and Other Animals", Mum, the batty Mother.
It was great to be loved, accepted for just being yourself, admired, praised and smacked if necessary. And I loved recalling the swimming and the dancing and the fashion, I still have so many to go, ........stories,
Love Janette
It's both cathartic and draining, remembering my girls as babies is wonderful and saddening in a way, now they are grown women and writing about Lauren, absolutely hardest. Harder than anything but I want the girls to know her as I knew her, as her Mum.
And I think she was a gift to me for 12 years. And I have a feeling, she freed me, she freed me from a horrible life. I realised when Bob and I split I had changed, irrevocably.
I couldn't go back to comfort and convenience, and an outburst of violence every 3 months. It was sick, he was sick and I should have left him years before. And stayed left. I hated myself for a long time because of that.
Then I once again had counselling, and decided it was not my fault. It was his sickness, not mine, and as I wrote about my Dad, I realised I loved him very much, but hated his lies and his affairs, and I am afraid I am not very trusting of men because of that, insecure, anxious,
Creeps me out.
And I hate violence.
Love my kids and adore my grand kids, that's a given.
Don't like pretention, Like a simple life, kids, writing, cooking all ways at home and I love that.
I love being able to be free and do what I want.
I love that I have had so many experiences in life and can see the ridiculous in a lot of things.
I love that people like reading my blogs and tell me and tell me off too if I go a little raw.
(Thanks, girls, I told you not to read the rude ones)
I love the characters I have met, characters such as Ivan Munchan, no side to him, he just is what he is. And Cuckoo, and Nev, the wastrel, who healed me with love and affection, and I will always love him, even if he is a brainy little annoying alcoholic. I loved his mind, always his mind.
And Clint so perfectly is what he is, and there is no going out of the square.
I love that I went to Camp Eden and it changed my life, for the better, even though it was hard to be there.
It's great in the writing to realise how many places I have been to, all over the world and had my family with me as they are all crazy and funny and it was great to have that as a kid. I always felt we were the kids in "My Family and Other Animals", Mum, the batty Mother.
It was great to be loved, accepted for just being yourself, admired, praised and smacked if necessary. And I loved recalling the swimming and the dancing and the fashion, I still have so many to go, ........stories,
Love Janette
