Keep Looking--Don't Settle
Without Prejudice
Don't settle, ever. Not good enough is just that, and we do settle at times in life, whether we are happy or not. My Dad as he was dying asked me if I was happy. I lied and said,
"Yes",
more to keep him happy than anything. I didn't really think about it, I was 44 and didn't think about happiness, I'd lost a child, what was Happiness? I wondered. true happiness?? And if we had it all the time would we want it ? How could I trust anyone else to make me happy if I wasn't happy. I began to think about it and I knew that passion makes us happy. My dying Dad was never as happy as he was on stage playing or rehearsing music, writing it, singing it, playing it. it was his passion and so were women, Dad lit up when a woman came into the room, any woman, no matter the age. he liked and trusted women and that made him happy. He loved his kids devotedly and we made him happy, and grandkids made him especially happy. He married women with kids and loved them too. So it seemed to me to be happy a lot of the time, it came down to Passion, loving what you do, who you surround yourself with and being decently content.
I live that life these days, My writing, My Passion, my job, food, sleep, thoughts, lover, a drug but a good one. I surround myself with family, kids and Grandkids and people I genuinely like and admire. We laugh a lot and we have all these challenges but it's fun in the pursuit of raising boys. I feel like I have been doing it all my life, raising kids and I want to do other things now. I am going to go back to do more study, maybe Romantic Lit or something, I want to go to the UK, again and New York for the shopping and Las Vegas for the tackiness even though I am not a gambler. And maybe the greek islands just because it was where Gerald Durrell had lived and "My family And Other Animals" is one of my most favourite books of all time.
My little dwelling is all about me and I love it, it's mine for life and I can move it to the country or land somewhere and that's a great feeling. It's Mine! And its simple but very adequate for one person , all new and ruthlessly maintained and 50 dollars a week, bless! So I can write now, not constrained by anything, money, time. other responsibilties. Gone, out, let me be at peace for a while so I can write and I promise to come back brighter and stronger than ever. We only have one life and why not live it? The kids amuse me constantly,
As i write this Acer and Kyan are at the door pretending to be Woody And Buzz Light Year
and come in all bubbly and bright. Acer's 3rd Birthday today and it would have been my Dad's birthday today, his 90th, and I feed them treats as all Nana's should and I kiss them and hug them and I get this every day, it's blinding! And suddenly Steve Jobs comes to me again, stop haunting me Steve! And I want a man just like him, someone that brings fun and beauty and passion into so many peoples lives. Be Inspiring, he said, and Keep looking---Don't Settle!
.
Don't settle, ever. Not good enough is just that, and we do settle at times in life, whether we are happy or not. My Dad as he was dying asked me if I was happy. I lied and said,
"Yes",
more to keep him happy than anything. I didn't really think about it, I was 44 and didn't think about happiness, I'd lost a child, what was Happiness? I wondered. true happiness?? And if we had it all the time would we want it ? How could I trust anyone else to make me happy if I wasn't happy. I began to think about it and I knew that passion makes us happy. My dying Dad was never as happy as he was on stage playing or rehearsing music, writing it, singing it, playing it. it was his passion and so were women, Dad lit up when a woman came into the room, any woman, no matter the age. he liked and trusted women and that made him happy. He loved his kids devotedly and we made him happy, and grandkids made him especially happy. He married women with kids and loved them too. So it seemed to me to be happy a lot of the time, it came down to Passion, loving what you do, who you surround yourself with and being decently content.
I live that life these days, My writing, My Passion, my job, food, sleep, thoughts, lover, a drug but a good one. I surround myself with family, kids and Grandkids and people I genuinely like and admire. We laugh a lot and we have all these challenges but it's fun in the pursuit of raising boys. I feel like I have been doing it all my life, raising kids and I want to do other things now. I am going to go back to do more study, maybe Romantic Lit or something, I want to go to the UK, again and New York for the shopping and Las Vegas for the tackiness even though I am not a gambler. And maybe the greek islands just because it was where Gerald Durrell had lived and "My family And Other Animals" is one of my most favourite books of all time.
My little dwelling is all about me and I love it, it's mine for life and I can move it to the country or land somewhere and that's a great feeling. It's Mine! And its simple but very adequate for one person , all new and ruthlessly maintained and 50 dollars a week, bless! So I can write now, not constrained by anything, money, time. other responsibilties. Gone, out, let me be at peace for a while so I can write and I promise to come back brighter and stronger than ever. We only have one life and why not live it? The kids amuse me constantly,
As i write this Acer and Kyan are at the door pretending to be Woody And Buzz Light Year
and come in all bubbly and bright. Acer's 3rd Birthday today and it would have been my Dad's birthday today, his 90th, and I feed them treats as all Nana's should and I kiss them and hug them and I get this every day, it's blinding! And suddenly Steve Jobs comes to me again, stop haunting me Steve! And I want a man just like him, someone that brings fun and beauty and passion into so many peoples lives. Be Inspiring, he said, and Keep looking---Don't Settle!
.
