Matriach
Without Prejudice
Nifty always called me the Matriach, not liking her, as it meant I stayed too much away from him. But they were already here and they still needed a Mother, my girls.
I met him 1994, he had been in Australia for 5 years, since 89, and he was to be with me until just recently, he has disappeared, lately which is unusual for him.
I guess I will ring his Ma in Ireland, hoping he is living with some nice girl, ruining her life, with his alcoholism, getting worse, poor baby and poor her.(32.10.2011, the Wastrel has gone and got himself married, I am delighted for him )
Alcoholics are a breed of their own, no one can live with one, unless you want to spend a lot of time on your own. It's good if they admit it but denial is the first symptom, so what do you do???
You wait until all hope dies and then you run away, as an alcoholic just wants to drink themselves to death basically.
I was lucky Nifty was aware he liked it and told me to never ask him to give up, taking 10 years to say it. but I was glad he did So he freed me, and that was good.
I loved him or I wouldn't have stayed so long, 20 years of marriage to a violent man and 10 years with a man who abused alcohol.
Tells you something about me. I like to "save" people. But not any more, now it's all about me, they call it the Martyr syndrome.
But I love the Matriach term, especially The Matriach I was when I was with him. When I first introduced him to the girls, Deb said
"Can't you get someone your own age??
Alena liked him because he was a happy drunk, he looked young and she said
"Stick it up Dad"
In fact she did, telling him I had a much younger boyfriend and shortly after that he met his future wife who had gone to High School with My girls, but 1 year younger.
I didn't care about any of that, Nev was intelligent, witty, funny and I really didn't think it would go anywhere. It was just fun. Lusty and loving and affectionate and NEW.
It was all new, Soccer at South Yarra and drunken after match sessions at The Windsor Castle with it's pink elephants on the roof and Nifty's bike usually chained to a post outside.
And we couldn't get enough of each other what I loved about him was his affection, showering me with it. And I needed it, craved it.
I loved his being young, although when we filled out our rent application for the flat In Glen Iris, I felt people were looking at our age difference. And I felt that for about 6 months then I just forgot it.mentally we were the same age,
He was far more intelligent than me but I was modern. His knowledge in Geography, history, english, politics, current events and mine in TV movies and general knowledge and I trounced him easily at Trivial which he didn't like so I let him win a few times.
He loved old fashioned music and I liked it, but I liked what my kids liked too. And he would look at me puzzled,
" How do you do that?"
"What?"
"How do you know all those songs, those new songs???
"I like everything, I was taught to appreciate music, all music"
"What a wonderful gift your Father left you"
Back to the Matriach, Yvette had Kyle and had just had Zach, Deb was a career girl, no kids, but was going out with her future husband and Alena had just bought her first house and had a baby, Jade.
This was 5 years after their Sister had died and 6 years was what I had been told about being able to move on, properly move on.
Poor Nev, he had no idea of what he was entering into. Waiting one night patiently while Yvette was getting ready to go out. 3 hours it took and he refused after that to wait for her ever again.
He couldn't understand my attachment to Kyle, throwing his car seat once in to the back seat in contempt. He wanted me to move in with him within 3 months of our first meeting
"No"
"Why?"
"You need more time"
But what I really meant was that I needed time.
He would not be able to understand my devotion to my kids, not having any, but he was anti kid,
shuddering at kids playing around when we went to Dips Tavern.
Saying they shouldn't be allowed in restaurants.
"Oh. listen to that, that voice is going in my ears like a drill"
And I wouldn't have even heard, and I liked kids around, I took them to restaurants and movies. Taking Kyle to see Casper The Ghost and loving the time spent with him.
But the funny Nev was a lot of fun, he was outrageous after a few drinks and everyone knew it. He danced, sang, inspiring others to do the same, he loved being physically fit, playing Soccer regularly.
And I made him wait for 6 months before moving in with him, just dated him and wasn't he happy as a little puppy, cooking for me, taking me out to movies and asked me to marry him, drunk. and I said, alright, knowing I wouldn't.
And he only wanted to spend time with me, just unbelievable was his devotion. And I stopped seeing the girls and grandkids as much.
And I grew out of The Matriach and became a girlfriend/fiance. And I think I dropped ten years. He was so impulsive, we would just load the car and take off for the weekend and even though I felt the need to nurture my kids tugging at me my desire for fun was more important.
And we went To Queenscliffe and Bright And Korumburra and Wonthaggi and Wilsons Prom. At Queenscliffe we stayed a few day both having holidays from work.It was fantastic and so was Bright. we both loved getting out of the city, but we loved the city just as much and crawled all over St Kilda, stopping at Monroes and The Espy.
And we went away with the Soccer, Ballarat, Epping, Mornington, staying up till all hours and we had our own flat, our little love nest. And Nev was amazing in that he loved affection so much,
coming up behind me at the sink as I was doing something mundane, washing dishes or peeling potatoes.
He would kiss me on the back of the neck, side of the neck and I would not react or hold out as long as I could.
All men should do that, it's so pleasurable for a woman and within minutes, pinny thrown over my head, by me and poatoes or dishes forgotten.
He held my hand when we walked, rubbing my thumb, he listened to what I had to say and tried to change my opinion.
Those days were some of the best of my life, walking down avenues, hand in hand and just talking , never bored. Finding restaurants that became our resturants.
Going shopping, he growing impatient at shoes and clothes and loving Supermarkets and I let him do all the shopping and most of the cooking. I was no longer a Matriach and it felt great.
Love Janette
Ps I am delighted and shocked he married and I really would love for him to have a child or two,
Love The ex Darling, Janette
Nifty always called me the Matriach, not liking her, as it meant I stayed too much away from him. But they were already here and they still needed a Mother, my girls.
I met him 1994, he had been in Australia for 5 years, since 89, and he was to be with me until just recently, he has disappeared, lately which is unusual for him.
I guess I will ring his Ma in Ireland, hoping he is living with some nice girl, ruining her life, with his alcoholism, getting worse, poor baby and poor her.(32.10.2011, the Wastrel has gone and got himself married, I am delighted for him )
Alcoholics are a breed of their own, no one can live with one, unless you want to spend a lot of time on your own. It's good if they admit it but denial is the first symptom, so what do you do???
You wait until all hope dies and then you run away, as an alcoholic just wants to drink themselves to death basically.
I was lucky Nifty was aware he liked it and told me to never ask him to give up, taking 10 years to say it. but I was glad he did So he freed me, and that was good.
I loved him or I wouldn't have stayed so long, 20 years of marriage to a violent man and 10 years with a man who abused alcohol.
Tells you something about me. I like to "save" people. But not any more, now it's all about me, they call it the Martyr syndrome.
But I love the Matriach term, especially The Matriach I was when I was with him. When I first introduced him to the girls, Deb said
"Can't you get someone your own age??
Alena liked him because he was a happy drunk, he looked young and she said
"Stick it up Dad"
In fact she did, telling him I had a much younger boyfriend and shortly after that he met his future wife who had gone to High School with My girls, but 1 year younger.
I didn't care about any of that, Nev was intelligent, witty, funny and I really didn't think it would go anywhere. It was just fun. Lusty and loving and affectionate and NEW.
It was all new, Soccer at South Yarra and drunken after match sessions at The Windsor Castle with it's pink elephants on the roof and Nifty's bike usually chained to a post outside.
And we couldn't get enough of each other what I loved about him was his affection, showering me with it. And I needed it, craved it.
I loved his being young, although when we filled out our rent application for the flat In Glen Iris, I felt people were looking at our age difference. And I felt that for about 6 months then I just forgot it.mentally we were the same age,
He was far more intelligent than me but I was modern. His knowledge in Geography, history, english, politics, current events and mine in TV movies and general knowledge and I trounced him easily at Trivial which he didn't like so I let him win a few times.
He loved old fashioned music and I liked it, but I liked what my kids liked too. And he would look at me puzzled,
" How do you do that?"
"What?"
"How do you know all those songs, those new songs???
"I like everything, I was taught to appreciate music, all music"
"What a wonderful gift your Father left you"
Back to the Matriach, Yvette had Kyle and had just had Zach, Deb was a career girl, no kids, but was going out with her future husband and Alena had just bought her first house and had a baby, Jade.
This was 5 years after their Sister had died and 6 years was what I had been told about being able to move on, properly move on.
Poor Nev, he had no idea of what he was entering into. Waiting one night patiently while Yvette was getting ready to go out. 3 hours it took and he refused after that to wait for her ever again.
He couldn't understand my attachment to Kyle, throwing his car seat once in to the back seat in contempt. He wanted me to move in with him within 3 months of our first meeting
"No"
"Why?"
"You need more time"
But what I really meant was that I needed time.
He would not be able to understand my devotion to my kids, not having any, but he was anti kid,
shuddering at kids playing around when we went to Dips Tavern.
Saying they shouldn't be allowed in restaurants.
"Oh. listen to that, that voice is going in my ears like a drill"
And I wouldn't have even heard, and I liked kids around, I took them to restaurants and movies. Taking Kyle to see Casper The Ghost and loving the time spent with him.
But the funny Nev was a lot of fun, he was outrageous after a few drinks and everyone knew it. He danced, sang, inspiring others to do the same, he loved being physically fit, playing Soccer regularly.
And I made him wait for 6 months before moving in with him, just dated him and wasn't he happy as a little puppy, cooking for me, taking me out to movies and asked me to marry him, drunk. and I said, alright, knowing I wouldn't.
And he only wanted to spend time with me, just unbelievable was his devotion. And I stopped seeing the girls and grandkids as much.
And I grew out of The Matriach and became a girlfriend/fiance. And I think I dropped ten years. He was so impulsive, we would just load the car and take off for the weekend and even though I felt the need to nurture my kids tugging at me my desire for fun was more important.
And we went To Queenscliffe and Bright And Korumburra and Wonthaggi and Wilsons Prom. At Queenscliffe we stayed a few day both having holidays from work.It was fantastic and so was Bright. we both loved getting out of the city, but we loved the city just as much and crawled all over St Kilda, stopping at Monroes and The Espy.
And we went away with the Soccer, Ballarat, Epping, Mornington, staying up till all hours and we had our own flat, our little love nest. And Nev was amazing in that he loved affection so much,
coming up behind me at the sink as I was doing something mundane, washing dishes or peeling potatoes.
He would kiss me on the back of the neck, side of the neck and I would not react or hold out as long as I could.
All men should do that, it's so pleasurable for a woman and within minutes, pinny thrown over my head, by me and poatoes or dishes forgotten.
He held my hand when we walked, rubbing my thumb, he listened to what I had to say and tried to change my opinion.
Those days were some of the best of my life, walking down avenues, hand in hand and just talking , never bored. Finding restaurants that became our resturants.
Going shopping, he growing impatient at shoes and clothes and loving Supermarkets and I let him do all the shopping and most of the cooking. I was no longer a Matriach and it felt great.
Love Janette
Ps I am delighted and shocked he married and I really would love for him to have a child or two,
Love The ex Darling, Janette
