Fun
Without Prejudice
Steve Jobs said stay hungry and keep having fun, and we do. We have the most hysterical life Yvette and I trying to raise all these boys. Cruz is one and nearly walking, Acer is a Three year old wrecking ball, and we have a large Husky who we call the 'Village Idiot" who is pretty and large and even lies down to eat, she is soooooooo lazy. Bonnie is a German Shepard who is 11 and we are nursing her until she stops picking up her plastic chicken leg that squeaks, and lies down in her sleep, because the boys will Not give up on her.
we have an extremely large lazy cat too, Nicholas and every time one of the boys come in, they have to sniff him, don't ask us why, it's a boy thing. Laziness of Teenage boys is beyond all hope in this household, they stare at you blankly, mumble, don't shower, love being dirty and don't want to do anything except play with PS3 and the internet. They only come alive when a friend comes over and then they are a pain in the arse because the friends are even smellier and more annoying than the ones we already have. I'm trying to think if they are worse or better than girl teens, no contest, they win. The good thing about them is they are not around much and can feed themselves, but don't, wanting Chicken chippees and chips and fast food and do not put on an ounce of fat.
That could have something to do with the fact that their parents, put together,do not make a whole human being, physically or otherwise. Only Joking, Yvette, Yvette is a crack up, she tells it like it is to everyone. we call her the Roberta Williams of our family. She is high maintenance but she has a good heart underneath. She has a 30" by 24" by 31" frame and I have seen her also punch out men, Simon , mostly. she wrestled him to the ground at 8 months pregnant as he was trying to grab Kyan and keep him, eight months pregnant, think about that.
They make me laugh as all the girls are a bit like their Dad in that way, Deb and Yvette jumping out of the car at the same time once, as a man (bloody Wog ) cut Deb's car off in the city, and I screamed at them to get back in, they were both pregnant. They were going to "tell" him off. We are all wicked and when we all get together we swear like men, fuck every second word. Deb treats Andrew with distain and he loves it, he loves it. Once when she was 8 months pregnant (God, are they ever not?) Andrew and her moved in to their perfect new house in Rowville, it was mud and moving furniture and Andrew was assigned to put up the colonial double bed. Deb, Mara and I were doing other things and all the time we were unpacking and we could hear this vague tap tap tap. Debbie hearing this marched into the bedroom and Andrew was convinced he couldn't get the frame square, ineffectively tapping with a small hammer. Deb exasperated said,
"Give me that fucking hammer",
smacked it hard once.
"Now it's square"
and and it was square, and she stomped out of the bedroom, Andrew backed up against the curtains.
No one can make me laugh like Andrew Hood, he is a brilliant man. Once he and best friend Johnny Barker went to the casino, had several large drinks and Johnny is not a nice drunk and got in an argument with an Asian girl, saying something about love you long time baby, and her and her boyfriend left returning with a gang. And they picked up Andrew, well under the weather by this stage and SCUD him along the floor on his face! He turned up at home with a big carpet burn on his forehead and Debbie said,
"Serve you right!"
And every time he goes anywhere there is always, "an incident", to the ATM, the bank, supermarket wherever, there is always "an incident". Seeing his hero Robert Harvey in front of him in the queue at an ATM and when he turned around, Andrew fell to pieces, stuttering and gabbling and he felt like a twit. but he's a great Sales rep with the gift of the gab, hard working and a good dad and perfect hubby, Debbie just does not choose to see it that way.
One of the best "incidents' I ever saw, was one night, Deb pregnant again waiting with the very proper, Ashleigh Hood for Daddy to come home with fish and chips, hours she waited, refusing to feed Ashleigh until Daddy came home And at nine o'clock with a grizzly Ash, Andrew arrived home, spastic drunk with a soggy parcel under one arm, Debbie said, icily,
"where have you been, Andrew"
"The bakery", he said.
"A bakery ?"
"Yes the bakery Deb and there was such a queue"
I left the room about then and sat at the bench, in the kitchen,
Still Andrew argued he had been at the bakery and you could smell the waves of alcohol, coming off him.
I wanted to creep out the front door and run and never come back.
"Dont lie to me Andrew, you have been to the Pub"
"No Deb, I have been to the bakery"
There was a loud bang making me jump and the slamming of the bedroom door,
4 year old Ashleigh wandered into the kitchen,
"Mummy turned over the coffee table and Daddy is sitting in there covered in chips"
Love Janette
Steve Jobs said stay hungry and keep having fun, and we do. We have the most hysterical life Yvette and I trying to raise all these boys. Cruz is one and nearly walking, Acer is a Three year old wrecking ball, and we have a large Husky who we call the 'Village Idiot" who is pretty and large and even lies down to eat, she is soooooooo lazy. Bonnie is a German Shepard who is 11 and we are nursing her until she stops picking up her plastic chicken leg that squeaks, and lies down in her sleep, because the boys will Not give up on her.
we have an extremely large lazy cat too, Nicholas and every time one of the boys come in, they have to sniff him, don't ask us why, it's a boy thing. Laziness of Teenage boys is beyond all hope in this household, they stare at you blankly, mumble, don't shower, love being dirty and don't want to do anything except play with PS3 and the internet. They only come alive when a friend comes over and then they are a pain in the arse because the friends are even smellier and more annoying than the ones we already have. I'm trying to think if they are worse or better than girl teens, no contest, they win. The good thing about them is they are not around much and can feed themselves, but don't, wanting Chicken chippees and chips and fast food and do not put on an ounce of fat.
That could have something to do with the fact that their parents, put together,do not make a whole human being, physically or otherwise. Only Joking, Yvette, Yvette is a crack up, she tells it like it is to everyone. we call her the Roberta Williams of our family. She is high maintenance but she has a good heart underneath. She has a 30" by 24" by 31" frame and I have seen her also punch out men, Simon , mostly. she wrestled him to the ground at 8 months pregnant as he was trying to grab Kyan and keep him, eight months pregnant, think about that.
They make me laugh as all the girls are a bit like their Dad in that way, Deb and Yvette jumping out of the car at the same time once, as a man (bloody Wog ) cut Deb's car off in the city, and I screamed at them to get back in, they were both pregnant. They were going to "tell" him off. We are all wicked and when we all get together we swear like men, fuck every second word. Deb treats Andrew with distain and he loves it, he loves it. Once when she was 8 months pregnant (God, are they ever not?) Andrew and her moved in to their perfect new house in Rowville, it was mud and moving furniture and Andrew was assigned to put up the colonial double bed. Deb, Mara and I were doing other things and all the time we were unpacking and we could hear this vague tap tap tap. Debbie hearing this marched into the bedroom and Andrew was convinced he couldn't get the frame square, ineffectively tapping with a small hammer. Deb exasperated said,
"Give me that fucking hammer",
smacked it hard once.
"Now it's square"
and and it was square, and she stomped out of the bedroom, Andrew backed up against the curtains.
No one can make me laugh like Andrew Hood, he is a brilliant man. Once he and best friend Johnny Barker went to the casino, had several large drinks and Johnny is not a nice drunk and got in an argument with an Asian girl, saying something about love you long time baby, and her and her boyfriend left returning with a gang. And they picked up Andrew, well under the weather by this stage and SCUD him along the floor on his face! He turned up at home with a big carpet burn on his forehead and Debbie said,
"Serve you right!"
And every time he goes anywhere there is always, "an incident", to the ATM, the bank, supermarket wherever, there is always "an incident". Seeing his hero Robert Harvey in front of him in the queue at an ATM and when he turned around, Andrew fell to pieces, stuttering and gabbling and he felt like a twit. but he's a great Sales rep with the gift of the gab, hard working and a good dad and perfect hubby, Debbie just does not choose to see it that way.
One of the best "incidents' I ever saw, was one night, Deb pregnant again waiting with the very proper, Ashleigh Hood for Daddy to come home with fish and chips, hours she waited, refusing to feed Ashleigh until Daddy came home And at nine o'clock with a grizzly Ash, Andrew arrived home, spastic drunk with a soggy parcel under one arm, Debbie said, icily,
"where have you been, Andrew"
"The bakery", he said.
"A bakery ?"
"Yes the bakery Deb and there was such a queue"
I left the room about then and sat at the bench, in the kitchen,
Still Andrew argued he had been at the bakery and you could smell the waves of alcohol, coming off him.
I wanted to creep out the front door and run and never come back.
"Dont lie to me Andrew, you have been to the Pub"
"No Deb, I have been to the bakery"
There was a loud bang making me jump and the slamming of the bedroom door,
4 year old Ashleigh wandered into the kitchen,
"Mummy turned over the coffee table and Daddy is sitting in there covered in chips"
Love Janette
