Freedom
Without Prejudice
I am at heart always a part Scots woman, learning it from My Mother who lived in Scotland a long time and she from Grandma Bruckshaw and my Dad's sisters, Heather and Gladys. We were fierce little scots if pushed and I have to be pushed a lot, preferring to peace and quiet. Ian paid me a beautiful compliment once, he said I was like, Lauren as a child, believe it or not. You can only look at the past through the eyes of the adult you are, filtering, your true memory. I always remember Ian saying when I was older that I was a little whinger and I was. Sometimes it's easier to believe the bad stuff a person was saying about you, than the good.
A true Scots woman is proud, proud beyond belief, my Mother would never ever take charity no matter how poor we were, she said "Och!", a lot and I never realised it was a noise of disgust until Nifty told me I said it a lot. ( Well, I probably said it a lot around the "Nifty Nevster") And Other Scottish things come to me unbidden, bag pipes, love them, bravery, same, and freedom, true freedom is so rare and so delightful. It's like being very very rich, you can do what you want, eat when you want, and I think I am way too complex for most men so I tend to leave them alone. Neville was the closest match, but he LOVED to drink and that was always going to be a non starter, but the rest was worth it. I have rellies that just adore him, still, Alena, Yvette, Mara, Karin Berry, Kerry Cue (Cue loves him because she LOVES drinkers, just like her dad, the beloved Mr Cue, (the not so Sqeezy Man ) And Karin with her beloved Dad Bruce Berry ( Chuck ), and kerrie with Tiny, all us girls lucky and know it.
So Kerrie's free and so am I, we only have to worry about kids and enough money these days, not being told off for wanting things the way we want them. And the cost of that is not always having a man around. Someone to shove that fence post in hard, or fix the washer on the tap. But we have the Ministry for that and they are gagging for the jobs, the men that work for the Ministry, they are well paid and they are helping the elderly and most of their customers would be grateful to see them and I bet they go in to some horrible places too.
I think if you are given a gift you should look after it, I love my home and it's a reflection of me, inspiring pictures and colour and quirkiness and pretty and sexy and knowledgeable. And memories of Lauren in her picture of her dream House with its stables and pool and baby room and horses and I love to look at it, seeing her taking her time on it, tongue poking out in concentration. Holly Cooper brought it one day from School, Laurens art Portfolio, months after she died. We laminated and framed everything, the Poison poster, The sea creature, The Dream House, even down to the brown paper cover. Love!
So true freedom comes at a price, a hard fought one, especially when your children are older, they want mum to be Mum and sometimes Mum just wants to be Janette. Much better!!! xoxo
I am at heart always a part Scots woman, learning it from My Mother who lived in Scotland a long time and she from Grandma Bruckshaw and my Dad's sisters, Heather and Gladys. We were fierce little scots if pushed and I have to be pushed a lot, preferring to peace and quiet. Ian paid me a beautiful compliment once, he said I was like, Lauren as a child, believe it or not. You can only look at the past through the eyes of the adult you are, filtering, your true memory. I always remember Ian saying when I was older that I was a little whinger and I was. Sometimes it's easier to believe the bad stuff a person was saying about you, than the good.
A true Scots woman is proud, proud beyond belief, my Mother would never ever take charity no matter how poor we were, she said "Och!", a lot and I never realised it was a noise of disgust until Nifty told me I said it a lot. ( Well, I probably said it a lot around the "Nifty Nevster") And Other Scottish things come to me unbidden, bag pipes, love them, bravery, same, and freedom, true freedom is so rare and so delightful. It's like being very very rich, you can do what you want, eat when you want, and I think I am way too complex for most men so I tend to leave them alone. Neville was the closest match, but he LOVED to drink and that was always going to be a non starter, but the rest was worth it. I have rellies that just adore him, still, Alena, Yvette, Mara, Karin Berry, Kerry Cue (Cue loves him because she LOVES drinkers, just like her dad, the beloved Mr Cue, (the not so Sqeezy Man ) And Karin with her beloved Dad Bruce Berry ( Chuck ), and kerrie with Tiny, all us girls lucky and know it.
So Kerrie's free and so am I, we only have to worry about kids and enough money these days, not being told off for wanting things the way we want them. And the cost of that is not always having a man around. Someone to shove that fence post in hard, or fix the washer on the tap. But we have the Ministry for that and they are gagging for the jobs, the men that work for the Ministry, they are well paid and they are helping the elderly and most of their customers would be grateful to see them and I bet they go in to some horrible places too.
I think if you are given a gift you should look after it, I love my home and it's a reflection of me, inspiring pictures and colour and quirkiness and pretty and sexy and knowledgeable. And memories of Lauren in her picture of her dream House with its stables and pool and baby room and horses and I love to look at it, seeing her taking her time on it, tongue poking out in concentration. Holly Cooper brought it one day from School, Laurens art Portfolio, months after she died. We laminated and framed everything, the Poison poster, The sea creature, The Dream House, even down to the brown paper cover. Love!
So true freedom comes at a price, a hard fought one, especially when your children are older, they want mum to be Mum and sometimes Mum just wants to be Janette. Much better!!! xoxo
