Secrets
Without Prejudice
We've kept them as a family for years. My Family, my extended family. We who are so excitable and wear our hearts on our sleeves. But we kept secrets, well.
My Mother would have been a very unhappy woman when she found out she was pregnant at 42, she kept it secret from us until 6 weeks before Helen was born, leaving us puzzled.
When she started acting "funny", we told no one, no Teacher, no family, no friend.
We kept Jamie secret too, our questions, never asked, never answered. And when 40 years had passed, we talked about him, at last being able to let out grief, so long stored up.
We, the girls and I kept secret B's violent behaviour, and he kept on being an arsehole, so we let it out, after 21 years. And he didn't like it. Too bad, he needs to learn how to behave like a Man, not a silly bully.
And Maddy's secret came out and she's getting counselling for it now.
We've hidden affairs, secret loves, obsessions and buried them if it's to protect others, some things go to the grave with you,
Jackie said that to me once and I wondered what secrets she kept, my normal sister.
I kept secret my depression diagnosis till Jackie told me six months later she had it also. So with Mum's clinical depression still in our minds, we told, hoping to help others. And Ourselves. We found out so many people also had it and could be helped.
I can tell depressed people just by hearing them, now. It tends to follow in families, so we are hyper vigilant about symptoms, especially with males.
Males not tending to let out their hurts and pain, keeping the stiff upper lip, and covering it in drink or drugs. No wonder they need women to talk to. They can let it all out to a woman and knows he won't be seen as weak, or judged.
I would hate to be a man. I know I can cry and get sympathy and hugs and kisses and pats and I get understanding, especially from the "boys" as Yvette and I taught them not to hold it in.
We lost Bonnie, 2 weeks ago, our family dog for 11 years. And all the boys cried, wiping away angry and sad tears, even Joe Cool, Kyle, and not Brock, so he's to be watched by us.
He's quite an angry boy, but he seems to know what he wants in life, but he's still moody and angry a lot of the time. Not sure how much is just teenage angst and how much could be depression.
It's harder to diagnose in males, they tend to just get angry and short tempered, not sleeping so well, sexual dysfunction. But they not going to let that secret out, waking early in the morning and not being able to go back to sleep is one of the key signs.
Or hypermania, sleeping a lot, especially day times, not wanting to get out of bed, such a teenage habit, anyway.
And being overly happy and agitated, excitable and yelling a lot.
We know the signs now and I found out all these years later, that the new drugs were not available when my Mother was alive, they just sedated them and that was the worst thing they could do, they are talking about using ecstasy as treatment now for depressed people.
Ther's no shame in it, just a chemical imbalance in the brain, simple really. And changing your lifestyle, getting connected to people that share your values, family, kids, basic life, simple.
And taking time to yourself. We live in such a hurried, harried, world, that time to yourself is precious and should be more important than anything. Time out to day dream and read a book, have a bath, not logging in to Facebook, to see who "likes" you.
I like all the modern technology, love it, but have learned to keep it as a tool and not an indicator of Social Standing.
Secrets are things you keep if lettimg them out would hurt other innocent people. And some are just dumb and should be dragged out into the light, like depression, like suicide, like grief, because everyone has really bad things happen to them and a problem shared is a problem halved.
Share your disappointments and share the things that make you feel great. because we are living this life, right now is all we have, so love, dance, think, dream, believe in the goodness in people, be brave and suck it up when you have to, stay strong, intelligent and sexy.
Sometimes secrets can be naughty and that's why we love them, nothing more exciting than a naughty little secret. xoxo
Love Janette
We've kept them as a family for years. My Family, my extended family. We who are so excitable and wear our hearts on our sleeves. But we kept secrets, well.
My Mother would have been a very unhappy woman when she found out she was pregnant at 42, she kept it secret from us until 6 weeks before Helen was born, leaving us puzzled.
When she started acting "funny", we told no one, no Teacher, no family, no friend.
We kept Jamie secret too, our questions, never asked, never answered. And when 40 years had passed, we talked about him, at last being able to let out grief, so long stored up.
We, the girls and I kept secret B's violent behaviour, and he kept on being an arsehole, so we let it out, after 21 years. And he didn't like it. Too bad, he needs to learn how to behave like a Man, not a silly bully.
And Maddy's secret came out and she's getting counselling for it now.
We've hidden affairs, secret loves, obsessions and buried them if it's to protect others, some things go to the grave with you,
Jackie said that to me once and I wondered what secrets she kept, my normal sister.
I kept secret my depression diagnosis till Jackie told me six months later she had it also. So with Mum's clinical depression still in our minds, we told, hoping to help others. And Ourselves. We found out so many people also had it and could be helped.
I can tell depressed people just by hearing them, now. It tends to follow in families, so we are hyper vigilant about symptoms, especially with males.
Males not tending to let out their hurts and pain, keeping the stiff upper lip, and covering it in drink or drugs. No wonder they need women to talk to. They can let it all out to a woman and knows he won't be seen as weak, or judged.
I would hate to be a man. I know I can cry and get sympathy and hugs and kisses and pats and I get understanding, especially from the "boys" as Yvette and I taught them not to hold it in.
We lost Bonnie, 2 weeks ago, our family dog for 11 years. And all the boys cried, wiping away angry and sad tears, even Joe Cool, Kyle, and not Brock, so he's to be watched by us.
He's quite an angry boy, but he seems to know what he wants in life, but he's still moody and angry a lot of the time. Not sure how much is just teenage angst and how much could be depression.
It's harder to diagnose in males, they tend to just get angry and short tempered, not sleeping so well, sexual dysfunction. But they not going to let that secret out, waking early in the morning and not being able to go back to sleep is one of the key signs.
Or hypermania, sleeping a lot, especially day times, not wanting to get out of bed, such a teenage habit, anyway.
And being overly happy and agitated, excitable and yelling a lot.
We know the signs now and I found out all these years later, that the new drugs were not available when my Mother was alive, they just sedated them and that was the worst thing they could do, they are talking about using ecstasy as treatment now for depressed people.
Ther's no shame in it, just a chemical imbalance in the brain, simple really. And changing your lifestyle, getting connected to people that share your values, family, kids, basic life, simple.
And taking time to yourself. We live in such a hurried, harried, world, that time to yourself is precious and should be more important than anything. Time out to day dream and read a book, have a bath, not logging in to Facebook, to see who "likes" you.
I like all the modern technology, love it, but have learned to keep it as a tool and not an indicator of Social Standing.
Secrets are things you keep if lettimg them out would hurt other innocent people. And some are just dumb and should be dragged out into the light, like depression, like suicide, like grief, because everyone has really bad things happen to them and a problem shared is a problem halved.
Share your disappointments and share the things that make you feel great. because we are living this life, right now is all we have, so love, dance, think, dream, believe in the goodness in people, be brave and suck it up when you have to, stay strong, intelligent and sexy.
Sometimes secrets can be naughty and that's why we love them, nothing more exciting than a naughty little secret. xoxo
Love Janette
