On writing 3
Without Prejudice
I began this blog as a favour to my Brothers David and George, and they especially wanted stories of Bob, because they think he's good reading, a real character. They wanted the Paris story and the weeing out the window story, and the Farm, because they were there, George worked for Bob many times as did Dave, one time him and Roy Litterick ( Roy Littledick )working at Deadline Dougs Place at Cranbourne whitewashing the whole place, stables, everything. And they turned around to find Dead Line Doug's very expensive race horse drinking their paint, all of it !
Dave painted Bob's prized GT, Bronze wine, 12 coats, it was stunning. Dave and Kerry Cue taking it back to bare metal and Dave taking Bob for a ride in his black souped up Sandman Panel van, slewing into corners and heading straight for brick walls, swerving at the last minute. Dave was 19 and a drags fanatic, so was Kerry, she did a standing start to whatever in 6 seconds, in barefeet, beating Dave. ....David said when Bob got out of the car he was white.
Bob had a loud voice and dominated every conversation and had an amazing capacity for alcohol and more than anything we shared, we all liked the same music. Countdown had just started then and were avid, eager fans, Skyhooks and Black Sabbath, Deep Purple, were Dave's favourites. George with Kristofferson and Jose Feliciano, I bought Rolling Stones and Bob Dylan and Johhny Cash to the mix and Bob liked Rod Stewart, Fleetwood Mac and Janis Joplins version of Me and Bobby Mcgee.
And the " Pushbike Song", which I sang in labour with Deb, AFTER, they gave me the epidural. before that I think I had been just moaning and getting nowhere. But my Doctor, a heart Specialist from Murrumbeena, A dapper little Jewish man that looked and sounded like Hercule Poirot, was a love and gave me an epidural which was unheard of in 1970 and it was very fine. let me tell you. I went from getting nowhere to no pain, it was unbelievable.
He was little bit befuddled though as he turned up two days later to give Deb a circumcision and I gently explained I'd had a girl.
So Bob was an outgoing Man and probably had a bit of ADHD, as we have a grandson that has it, loud voice, annoying, always got to be moving and that was downgraded from OCD when he was 7. He's Ok and a genius, two of Yvette's boys are, Brock and Jai which is always a stunning revelation to Yvette. And last night she said to me, she's nearly 40, although it's hard to tell, with her skinny little body,
"Mum, why doesn't Dad like us? I have 7 beautiful Sons and he never wants to see them, ever, they are his grandsons", and she cried and Yvette does not often cry, she's one tough cookie.
And then,
"It's like we never mattered, that whole twenty years we had with Dad, it's like it never happened",
Well some of that I guess is the fact that he hates the word violence because he never was, in his mind. He told Deb to tell the divorce lawyer he her Dad had never struck me with a closed fist. A closed fist being a beating I guess, and pulling out your hair, dragging you along the hall, kicking you, trying to strangle you against a wall, hitting your head into the floor, throwing you outside naked, while your babies are inside and he is going to kill them and then you, that's not violence and then with your eyes blackened and your lip bloodied, he wants to kiss your battered face, getting aroused and you just want to die at that moment. And it's not the violence it's the fear that kills love, and he would beg me to forgive him and he would buy me "Stuff" and then everything would be Ok and then every three months it starts to build again. you can't love someone you fear, it's a natural equation.
the girls feared him, I feared him, his workers feared him, because he wasn't against giving them a boot up the arse or debt collectors, I've seen him punch them up, and he "happened" to run over a parking Inspector one day in Dandenong, clipping him with the truck tray and knocking him out. He's punched on in streets, stopped the car in traffic with his girls watching him out the back window as he would put his hands round the throat of another driver and squeeze hard as they madly tried to wind up their windows. he loved power and he loved control and when he took a swing at the barrister in the Family Law Court, my Solicitor said to me,
You were married to a Man that was a little worse than a Thug, " and I was cringing inside. He did try, to overcome some of his problems, but with money and Power he got worse, and worse and he was confused and din't know what to do. he had everything in the world and he felt like he had nothing, done nothing, achieved nothing, and that was when he turned 39 and bought a Ferrrari. I thought it was funny, the girls were sort of impressed at first and then they wouldn't let him pull it up out of the front of their very ordinary High School. And when we went for drives in it, we all had to convince him that people were looking and they were. And then we had it parked in our driveway in Keysborough, in front of our very ugly brown brick veneer house.
And i understood that about him, I understood his need to be somebody, to show how well he was doing, but nothing was ever enough. I was at Rusden teachers College by then doing my Dip Of Ed which he did not encourage, I think he could sense me pulling away, fearing my independence. And the day he came home from the Phillipines the last time he had tablets in his case for Syphillis, half empty. They were for a "friend", as the friend was married and could not afford to let his wife find them. And Bob WASN'T ?????
So he was gone then, one more affair too many, enough. He moved out then, getting a flat in Dandenong and when Lauren died at the end of that year, he moved back in again, to be of "Comfort" to the family" and after counselling I asked him to leave and I can honestly say i didn't miss him for one second. he's happily married again now, and has two boys and I take that as a compliment to me and I will NEVER remarry and he can make out of that whatever he wants. Three weeks after i started this Blog, he was on to me, and I was furious, hadn't he taken enough from us, now he was taking my words too, the Fuck head,
I have never been tempted in twenty years or have ever thought about typing his name into a search engine and looking him up, What For ??????
Love janette
I began this blog as a favour to my Brothers David and George, and they especially wanted stories of Bob, because they think he's good reading, a real character. They wanted the Paris story and the weeing out the window story, and the Farm, because they were there, George worked for Bob many times as did Dave, one time him and Roy Litterick ( Roy Littledick )working at Deadline Dougs Place at Cranbourne whitewashing the whole place, stables, everything. And they turned around to find Dead Line Doug's very expensive race horse drinking their paint, all of it !
Dave painted Bob's prized GT, Bronze wine, 12 coats, it was stunning. Dave and Kerry Cue taking it back to bare metal and Dave taking Bob for a ride in his black souped up Sandman Panel van, slewing into corners and heading straight for brick walls, swerving at the last minute. Dave was 19 and a drags fanatic, so was Kerry, she did a standing start to whatever in 6 seconds, in barefeet, beating Dave. ....David said when Bob got out of the car he was white.
Bob had a loud voice and dominated every conversation and had an amazing capacity for alcohol and more than anything we shared, we all liked the same music. Countdown had just started then and were avid, eager fans, Skyhooks and Black Sabbath, Deep Purple, were Dave's favourites. George with Kristofferson and Jose Feliciano, I bought Rolling Stones and Bob Dylan and Johhny Cash to the mix and Bob liked Rod Stewart, Fleetwood Mac and Janis Joplins version of Me and Bobby Mcgee.
And the " Pushbike Song", which I sang in labour with Deb, AFTER, they gave me the epidural. before that I think I had been just moaning and getting nowhere. But my Doctor, a heart Specialist from Murrumbeena, A dapper little Jewish man that looked and sounded like Hercule Poirot, was a love and gave me an epidural which was unheard of in 1970 and it was very fine. let me tell you. I went from getting nowhere to no pain, it was unbelievable.
He was little bit befuddled though as he turned up two days later to give Deb a circumcision and I gently explained I'd had a girl.
So Bob was an outgoing Man and probably had a bit of ADHD, as we have a grandson that has it, loud voice, annoying, always got to be moving and that was downgraded from OCD when he was 7. He's Ok and a genius, two of Yvette's boys are, Brock and Jai which is always a stunning revelation to Yvette. And last night she said to me, she's nearly 40, although it's hard to tell, with her skinny little body,
"Mum, why doesn't Dad like us? I have 7 beautiful Sons and he never wants to see them, ever, they are his grandsons", and she cried and Yvette does not often cry, she's one tough cookie.
And then,
"It's like we never mattered, that whole twenty years we had with Dad, it's like it never happened",
Well some of that I guess is the fact that he hates the word violence because he never was, in his mind. He told Deb to tell the divorce lawyer he her Dad had never struck me with a closed fist. A closed fist being a beating I guess, and pulling out your hair, dragging you along the hall, kicking you, trying to strangle you against a wall, hitting your head into the floor, throwing you outside naked, while your babies are inside and he is going to kill them and then you, that's not violence and then with your eyes blackened and your lip bloodied, he wants to kiss your battered face, getting aroused and you just want to die at that moment. And it's not the violence it's the fear that kills love, and he would beg me to forgive him and he would buy me "Stuff" and then everything would be Ok and then every three months it starts to build again. you can't love someone you fear, it's a natural equation.
the girls feared him, I feared him, his workers feared him, because he wasn't against giving them a boot up the arse or debt collectors, I've seen him punch them up, and he "happened" to run over a parking Inspector one day in Dandenong, clipping him with the truck tray and knocking him out. He's punched on in streets, stopped the car in traffic with his girls watching him out the back window as he would put his hands round the throat of another driver and squeeze hard as they madly tried to wind up their windows. he loved power and he loved control and when he took a swing at the barrister in the Family Law Court, my Solicitor said to me,
You were married to a Man that was a little worse than a Thug, " and I was cringing inside. He did try, to overcome some of his problems, but with money and Power he got worse, and worse and he was confused and din't know what to do. he had everything in the world and he felt like he had nothing, done nothing, achieved nothing, and that was when he turned 39 and bought a Ferrrari. I thought it was funny, the girls were sort of impressed at first and then they wouldn't let him pull it up out of the front of their very ordinary High School. And when we went for drives in it, we all had to convince him that people were looking and they were. And then we had it parked in our driveway in Keysborough, in front of our very ugly brown brick veneer house.
And i understood that about him, I understood his need to be somebody, to show how well he was doing, but nothing was ever enough. I was at Rusden teachers College by then doing my Dip Of Ed which he did not encourage, I think he could sense me pulling away, fearing my independence. And the day he came home from the Phillipines the last time he had tablets in his case for Syphillis, half empty. They were for a "friend", as the friend was married and could not afford to let his wife find them. And Bob WASN'T ?????
So he was gone then, one more affair too many, enough. He moved out then, getting a flat in Dandenong and when Lauren died at the end of that year, he moved back in again, to be of "Comfort" to the family" and after counselling I asked him to leave and I can honestly say i didn't miss him for one second. he's happily married again now, and has two boys and I take that as a compliment to me and I will NEVER remarry and he can make out of that whatever he wants. Three weeks after i started this Blog, he was on to me, and I was furious, hadn't he taken enough from us, now he was taking my words too, the Fuck head,
I have never been tempted in twenty years or have ever thought about typing his name into a search engine and looking him up, What For ??????
Love janette
