1989
Without Prejudice
1989 was a year that brought some of the greatest joy I had in life up until then and the worst sorrow. I didn't even know I was alive till 1989. It was to change everything, turn my life on it's head. Everything I had known till then was about to be challenged, every fibre of my being was to be changed. And it all began so innocently.
January of 89 was no different than any other year that had gone before. Although my Hubby was going through a mid life crisis. Deb was 18 and driving, Yvette was 17 and still with Simon as her boyfriend. Alena was about to turn 14 and Lauren the baby was 111 and in her first year of High School, Chandler High, where Alena was going.. My ex and I ran a big business together and we had sailed through the eighties and the recession we were meant to have without losing a cent. In fact we had a licence to print money.
We had a Ferrari in the driveway, a pool in the back yard and sauna and spa and all the trappings that a hard working and wealthy lifestyle could bring. Except time, we didn't have time. We didn't have time for the family, we didn't have time for ourselves we just didn't have time. If we had but known what the end of the year would bring we would have found time, but we didn't. We were still chasing the eternal dollar. He wanted bigger, he wanted better. I helped him to make it and it became our obsession.
Both of our obsession.
People no longer understood us. He was to say at the beginning of that year he could hold a birthday party in a phone box and still be lonely. It was true, the higher we climbed to the top the lonelier it became and he and I were locked in our successful life together. The girls were fast growing into women. He would turn 42 that February and was still rocking from his visit to the Philippines the year before. He was sorry for the poor. He was shocked with the business men he went with , who had girlfriends and families over there, kept secret from the wives and families here in Australia.
It changed him, it changed his morals and it changed him. He could not would not settle at home any more. He was gone by the April to a unit in Dandenong. Lauren and BFF went to visit him there and he had meat sitting in the pantry and bloody. They put it in the fridge for him. He seemed to have no idea what he wanted any more but one thing was for sure it wasn't us.
The first signs of what were to come was a rumour that Yvette was pregnant. It was just a rumour but she stayed away at Simon's house and didn't contact us. One time she came home and he beat her. Locked her in the Bathroom and called her names and punched her full on into the bath. She was screaming and I broke in and he left her alone then. We were all shocked at his behaviuor and had no idea as to what caused it. He was beyond angry.
Yvette left the house never to return and she was pregnant and he would not allow her name to be mentioned in the house again. Lauren turned 12 in the March and insisted we all go to the Keysborough Hotel for tea. Lauren inisted Yvette come, She said.
"It's my 12th Birthday and I want her there, she is my Sister"
So Yvette came and we had fun and he sat there the whole time in stony silence, not reacting and not speaking to any of us. In the end we were gald Yvette was there, she was pregnant and as Deb had said,
"She's not terminating the baby, she's going to have it no matter what anyone thinks, so we should support her in her decision"
So that is just what we did. he stopped speaking to us all about then.
My ex Step Mum was coming over from England with a girlfriend to see my Dad. So at Easter for some insane reason, Deb, me, her friend Grace and him decided we would go on a short cruise and have my ex Step Mum mind the girls. It was just Alena and Lauren but Yvette came home while we were away so she was there too. They all befriended each other and had a great time.
We, however, didn't. Within two days of sailing he stopped talking to us as his camera was stolen. He had left it behind at a Modeling shoot Deb was asked to be in. Somehow it was our fault. Everything was our fault, so we ignored him and had a good time by ourselves. We went to the Isle of Pines and Mystery Island without him. We bought gold necklaces and other jewellery and perfumes at ridiculous prices. He found the casino on borad and was a lot happier as he started winning. By the time we hit Noumea he was very happy and bought the girls earrings he chose to take home. Even some for Yvette.
He bought me underwear and perfume and stockings, everything he could and he had great taste. We relaxed and enjoyed ourselves and ate and drank like there was no tomorrow. On the last few nights he ordered the best champagne for us and we drank bottle after bottle of it. He kept on winning and was lucky like that, maturally. We then had fun at Trivia Nights and Concerts, sightseeing and tours and soon it was time to go home. Back to work and the last year of our marriage.
The winter hit hard that year and he was soon heading off to the Phillipines again but said Korea to buy wire. Deb was working in the buisness then and said he was spending $12,000 a trip on going there. She suggested we go to Bali as it was only $800 each with accomodation thrown in. So Alena, Lauren, Deb and I went, guiltlessly and spent up large on his American Express card. He rang me from supposedly Kore but I knew he was in Manila. The girls had gone out on a tour and I was stuck in the loo with Bali Belly.
I thought it was so ironic as I sat there, (There was a phone in the loo!) and as he told me shit in one ear it was coming staright out of me at the other end. I nearly laughed out loud at his lies but kept my laughter hidden, I was in way too much pain as it was. He had a Philipino Bar maid girl friend and he was trying to stop her from prostituting herself. Or so he said. He was sending her $400 a month to stay off the streets and be available for him only when he went over, stupid idiot.!
Me, he just lied and lied to and in the end I didn't care. He was a selfish lover and I knew that better than anyone and I thought she can have him, serious. I was scared of the future as I helped him run the business and we were good at it together. But I had no idea of the test that was about to come and if I had I would have had nothing to do with him from then on. But I didn't have the courage at the time, that came later. At that time I was just a scared pampered little child.
To be continued
Lauren turned 12
1989 was a year that brought some of the greatest joy I had in life up until then and the worst sorrow. I didn't even know I was alive till 1989. It was to change everything, turn my life on it's head. Everything I had known till then was about to be challenged, every fibre of my being was to be changed. And it all began so innocently.
January of 89 was no different than any other year that had gone before. Although my Hubby was going through a mid life crisis. Deb was 18 and driving, Yvette was 17 and still with Simon as her boyfriend. Alena was about to turn 14 and Lauren the baby was 111 and in her first year of High School, Chandler High, where Alena was going.. My ex and I ran a big business together and we had sailed through the eighties and the recession we were meant to have without losing a cent. In fact we had a licence to print money.
We had a Ferrari in the driveway, a pool in the back yard and sauna and spa and all the trappings that a hard working and wealthy lifestyle could bring. Except time, we didn't have time. We didn't have time for the family, we didn't have time for ourselves we just didn't have time. If we had but known what the end of the year would bring we would have found time, but we didn't. We were still chasing the eternal dollar. He wanted bigger, he wanted better. I helped him to make it and it became our obsession.
Both of our obsession.
People no longer understood us. He was to say at the beginning of that year he could hold a birthday party in a phone box and still be lonely. It was true, the higher we climbed to the top the lonelier it became and he and I were locked in our successful life together. The girls were fast growing into women. He would turn 42 that February and was still rocking from his visit to the Philippines the year before. He was sorry for the poor. He was shocked with the business men he went with , who had girlfriends and families over there, kept secret from the wives and families here in Australia.
It changed him, it changed his morals and it changed him. He could not would not settle at home any more. He was gone by the April to a unit in Dandenong. Lauren and BFF went to visit him there and he had meat sitting in the pantry and bloody. They put it in the fridge for him. He seemed to have no idea what he wanted any more but one thing was for sure it wasn't us.
The first signs of what were to come was a rumour that Yvette was pregnant. It was just a rumour but she stayed away at Simon's house and didn't contact us. One time she came home and he beat her. Locked her in the Bathroom and called her names and punched her full on into the bath. She was screaming and I broke in and he left her alone then. We were all shocked at his behaviuor and had no idea as to what caused it. He was beyond angry.
Yvette left the house never to return and she was pregnant and he would not allow her name to be mentioned in the house again. Lauren turned 12 in the March and insisted we all go to the Keysborough Hotel for tea. Lauren inisted Yvette come, She said.
"It's my 12th Birthday and I want her there, she is my Sister"
So Yvette came and we had fun and he sat there the whole time in stony silence, not reacting and not speaking to any of us. In the end we were gald Yvette was there, she was pregnant and as Deb had said,
"She's not terminating the baby, she's going to have it no matter what anyone thinks, so we should support her in her decision"
So that is just what we did. he stopped speaking to us all about then.
My ex Step Mum was coming over from England with a girlfriend to see my Dad. So at Easter for some insane reason, Deb, me, her friend Grace and him decided we would go on a short cruise and have my ex Step Mum mind the girls. It was just Alena and Lauren but Yvette came home while we were away so she was there too. They all befriended each other and had a great time.
We, however, didn't. Within two days of sailing he stopped talking to us as his camera was stolen. He had left it behind at a Modeling shoot Deb was asked to be in. Somehow it was our fault. Everything was our fault, so we ignored him and had a good time by ourselves. We went to the Isle of Pines and Mystery Island without him. We bought gold necklaces and other jewellery and perfumes at ridiculous prices. He found the casino on borad and was a lot happier as he started winning. By the time we hit Noumea he was very happy and bought the girls earrings he chose to take home. Even some for Yvette.
He bought me underwear and perfume and stockings, everything he could and he had great taste. We relaxed and enjoyed ourselves and ate and drank like there was no tomorrow. On the last few nights he ordered the best champagne for us and we drank bottle after bottle of it. He kept on winning and was lucky like that, maturally. We then had fun at Trivia Nights and Concerts, sightseeing and tours and soon it was time to go home. Back to work and the last year of our marriage.
The winter hit hard that year and he was soon heading off to the Phillipines again but said Korea to buy wire. Deb was working in the buisness then and said he was spending $12,000 a trip on going there. She suggested we go to Bali as it was only $800 each with accomodation thrown in. So Alena, Lauren, Deb and I went, guiltlessly and spent up large on his American Express card. He rang me from supposedly Kore but I knew he was in Manila. The girls had gone out on a tour and I was stuck in the loo with Bali Belly.
I thought it was so ironic as I sat there, (There was a phone in the loo!) and as he told me shit in one ear it was coming staright out of me at the other end. I nearly laughed out loud at his lies but kept my laughter hidden, I was in way too much pain as it was. He had a Philipino Bar maid girl friend and he was trying to stop her from prostituting herself. Or so he said. He was sending her $400 a month to stay off the streets and be available for him only when he went over, stupid idiot.!
Me, he just lied and lied to and in the end I didn't care. He was a selfish lover and I knew that better than anyone and I thought she can have him, serious. I was scared of the future as I helped him run the business and we were good at it together. But I had no idea of the test that was about to come and if I had I would have had nothing to do with him from then on. But I didn't have the courage at the time, that came later. At that time I was just a scared pampered little child.
To be continued
Lauren turned 12
