Camp Eden Revisited Via Beachmere
Without Prejudice
While I was in Beachmere I had time to reflect on the last 12 months and how far I had come since my trip to Camp Eden . My Brother was revisiting for a week and my older Sister the following week for her first visit. The Brother In Law who stays home happened to mention it. He said his friend had said its the type of place where rich fucked up people go and they tell you they love you and send you home. What a load of crock! I found it the most amazing place. It certainly was not expensive at $1,100 where 5 star food and accommodation is available. Where you are surrounded by luxury and pampered within an inch of your life. And the people there do not run around saying they love you, they are there as your guides if you want them and fade into the background if you don't. The journey to yourself at Camp Eden is about you, all about you. There, where there is no phones, no emails, no family or friends just nature, you are obligated to make the best of it. It's all up to you. I found that what I thought were major problems were nothing in comparison to what others were going through. And it humbled me. At the end I was so glad to be me and living my basic life. I was grateful for my life. One Man was on his second go round with stomach cancer, a beautiful gentle Latino Man who had family and children and could play a guitar and make it weep. He never complained or bitched or moaned. He was an inspiration for the rest of us who where there for being fat, or wanting to give up cigarettes, or alcohol. I would however recommend for the sake of others that if you are there to give up smoking you wear patches. We heard of several people that left as they couldn't bear being without the crutch of cigarettes and the crash you definitely will have if you try going cold turkey. Ditto to alcohol. That's a specialised care in itself. One young woman was there as she had tried to take her own life, she had 3 young boys and she was addicted to everything except to them. She was self obsessed, self centred and a total whirling, twirling, edgy nightmare that needed hospital and a psychiatrist and not Camp Eden. She had one massage and cried for 5 hours she told us and by that time we really didn't care. She had told me she was addicted to everything, marijuana, speed, ice/ chard, alcohol, uppers, downers. I just wanted to slap her silly and tell her to grow up. Another lady said she had no money, rented her place, was on a crap wage as a dental nurse but wanted to "Be Someone". She was in her 50;s, never been married, never had kids. She too amazed me as she went to buy a $800 blender to show off to her friends when she arrived home. It was her 3rd visit and as far as I was concerned she had wasted her money. She was a really nice person and everyone confided in her and burdened her with their problems and yet she had so many of her own. It was daft!. She liked to be seen as some sort of Earth Mother, she was ultra fat and unhealthy and unfit as was I. She was my role model of what I didn't want in my life anymore. Being pretentious and sad is not going to do yourself any favours. Camp Eden is a matter of getting the bit between your teeth and doing the work and it is hard work. Suddenly you do not have the props you have used on the outside to hold you up. You are there with strangers and that's OK. But no one is used to having time for themselves any more. To reflect, to realise, to say, hang on a minute, this life I am living is the one I want. Nothing is more revealing than being asked, "What did you want to be when you were 5, or 10" "What were your hopes and dreams when you thought you had all the time in the world , say when you were 15 or 16?" And now you are older, have you reached your goals or are you still concerned about what others think ?" "Are you living the life, you set for yourself at 21, or are you living someone Else's dream ?" I realised I was fat at 84 kilos and very unfit. I am only 5'1" and that's a lot of weight to be carrying on a small frame. I had given up smoking six months before and taken up eating in compensation. The lady with the blender was the same. I looked at her body and saw my own. Saw her as me, except at 5 I knew I wanted kids and marriage. And at a little older wanted to be an author. So we were the same but different her and I. She was what I could have been, maybe if I hadn't married or had kids. However my Scottish nature would never have let me pay $800 for a blender I could buy for $40 at Kmart. And I know blenders tend to get put away in cupboards and never used. I thought about all my "stuff" I had at home. Drawers of knives and forks, I live on my own, how many do I need? The girl that I shared with was lovely, beautiful, friendly, just 30 and been with a man for 8 years and within 6 months of getting married and buying a house he left her. She had depression she told me and I had already guessed that. As I have it and can sense it in others. The guy, the hubby was still keeping her hanging on after twelve months of separation. I knew the answer for her but was afraid to utter it. But just before I left I did, what the hell!. She needed to hear it. He rang her the last night to say he was picking her up and she told him not to bother and I felt like cheering. She said it with a smile on her face too. The lady with the blender was too far gone I decided and maybe I was too. I lived my life for my kids and grand kids and I didn't want to hear it, but the others told me, anyway. I was glad they did. and when I went home nothing had changed externally but everything had changed internally and my whole world was about to be tipped on its head and nothing that had gone before would ever be the same To Be Continued........
While I was in Beachmere I had time to reflect on the last 12 months and how far I had come since my trip to Camp Eden . My Brother was revisiting for a week and my older Sister the following week for her first visit. The Brother In Law who stays home happened to mention it. He said his friend had said its the type of place where rich fucked up people go and they tell you they love you and send you home. What a load of crock! I found it the most amazing place. It certainly was not expensive at $1,100 where 5 star food and accommodation is available. Where you are surrounded by luxury and pampered within an inch of your life. And the people there do not run around saying they love you, they are there as your guides if you want them and fade into the background if you don't. The journey to yourself at Camp Eden is about you, all about you. There, where there is no phones, no emails, no family or friends just nature, you are obligated to make the best of it. It's all up to you. I found that what I thought were major problems were nothing in comparison to what others were going through. And it humbled me. At the end I was so glad to be me and living my basic life. I was grateful for my life. One Man was on his second go round with stomach cancer, a beautiful gentle Latino Man who had family and children and could play a guitar and make it weep. He never complained or bitched or moaned. He was an inspiration for the rest of us who where there for being fat, or wanting to give up cigarettes, or alcohol. I would however recommend for the sake of others that if you are there to give up smoking you wear patches. We heard of several people that left as they couldn't bear being without the crutch of cigarettes and the crash you definitely will have if you try going cold turkey. Ditto to alcohol. That's a specialised care in itself. One young woman was there as she had tried to take her own life, she had 3 young boys and she was addicted to everything except to them. She was self obsessed, self centred and a total whirling, twirling, edgy nightmare that needed hospital and a psychiatrist and not Camp Eden. She had one massage and cried for 5 hours she told us and by that time we really didn't care. She had told me she was addicted to everything, marijuana, speed, ice/ chard, alcohol, uppers, downers. I just wanted to slap her silly and tell her to grow up. Another lady said she had no money, rented her place, was on a crap wage as a dental nurse but wanted to "Be Someone". She was in her 50;s, never been married, never had kids. She too amazed me as she went to buy a $800 blender to show off to her friends when she arrived home. It was her 3rd visit and as far as I was concerned she had wasted her money. She was a really nice person and everyone confided in her and burdened her with their problems and yet she had so many of her own. It was daft!. She liked to be seen as some sort of Earth Mother, she was ultra fat and unhealthy and unfit as was I. She was my role model of what I didn't want in my life anymore. Being pretentious and sad is not going to do yourself any favours. Camp Eden is a matter of getting the bit between your teeth and doing the work and it is hard work. Suddenly you do not have the props you have used on the outside to hold you up. You are there with strangers and that's OK. But no one is used to having time for themselves any more. To reflect, to realise, to say, hang on a minute, this life I am living is the one I want. Nothing is more revealing than being asked, "What did you want to be when you were 5, or 10" "What were your hopes and dreams when you thought you had all the time in the world , say when you were 15 or 16?" And now you are older, have you reached your goals or are you still concerned about what others think ?" "Are you living the life, you set for yourself at 21, or are you living someone Else's dream ?" I realised I was fat at 84 kilos and very unfit. I am only 5'1" and that's a lot of weight to be carrying on a small frame. I had given up smoking six months before and taken up eating in compensation. The lady with the blender was the same. I looked at her body and saw my own. Saw her as me, except at 5 I knew I wanted kids and marriage. And at a little older wanted to be an author. So we were the same but different her and I. She was what I could have been, maybe if I hadn't married or had kids. However my Scottish nature would never have let me pay $800 for a blender I could buy for $40 at Kmart. And I know blenders tend to get put away in cupboards and never used. I thought about all my "stuff" I had at home. Drawers of knives and forks, I live on my own, how many do I need? The girl that I shared with was lovely, beautiful, friendly, just 30 and been with a man for 8 years and within 6 months of getting married and buying a house he left her. She had depression she told me and I had already guessed that. As I have it and can sense it in others. The guy, the hubby was still keeping her hanging on after twelve months of separation. I knew the answer for her but was afraid to utter it. But just before I left I did, what the hell!. She needed to hear it. He rang her the last night to say he was picking her up and she told him not to bother and I felt like cheering. She said it with a smile on her face too. The lady with the blender was too far gone I decided and maybe I was too. I lived my life for my kids and grand kids and I didn't want to hear it, but the others told me, anyway. I was glad they did. and when I went home nothing had changed externally but everything had changed internally and my whole world was about to be tipped on its head and nothing that had gone before would ever be the same To Be Continued........
