I LOVE The Russians
Without Prejudice
The Russian people were the first of my International readers to come on board and read my stories. My Grandson Brock said they were just hackers that were trying to hack my account and I said,
"Nyet'
I seriouly love my readers, I am 33,000 readership now and figure that's about a third of the MCG. Melbourne Cricket Ground that holds a 100,000. I am so very grateful to them all as without them I would have found it hard to continue. So much of my life has to go into my stories and I neither wanted to be arrogant or smug about it. I just want them all to know that I am so terribly pleased and proud that they read them.
I write about the tough stuff as life and all its twists and turns resonates in all of us. No one has it easy. For every Family there is heartache and hope, heartlessness and Joy. As a good friend of my brother's said. R.I.P. Roy Litterick, who died tragically young at 50, (nicknamed Littledick)
"We can't help the shit that life hands us, but we can sure as hell decide how to handle the shit "
And that is so true for everyone. We don't always understand but we can learn to live through it, live around it and decide to handle it and not let it bring us down.
There are triumphs and tragedies for everyone. Great sorrows and great happiness. We have to grin and bear it at times and not let it get us too down or we will be of no use to anyone. I wanted to kill myself many times after my daughter died. I felt like life could hand me no worse sentence. No Mother can lose a child and not be forever changed by it. I have my days when I just want to wallow and then I have days when I want to celebrate her life. She mattered.
I know from having my own Mum suicide how many times us kids blamed ourselves or Dad. But she was terribly ill, only a terribly illl person takes their own life. My other girls still needed me, at that time, my baby Grandson needed me, Kyle who was 2 weeks old. His Mum was a mess at losing her beloved younger Sister. So were my other girls and doubly hard they were teenagers themselves as was she.
The Teenage years are hard enough without the loss of a sibling. My girls went through hell and I so admire them now as they are strong capable women and I am their biggest fan. The first few years were unbearable, absolute shit. We all fought and wanted to die and we had no where to hide our anger and frustration, our grief was overwhelming as I am sure you will understand.
Lauren hurt no one in her life and when we saw Rapists and Murderers we wanted to kill them and we were angry that they were still alive and she wasn't. How does that equate ? How ? but we came to an understanding, just as the expert grief counsellors said we would. They said we would find a reason for her being born and a reason for her dying. I know that sounds impossible and as you tuck your kids up in bed tonight, understand what I am saying.
We don't know what we have until it's gone. Lauren was a stunning, beauty. Not just in her looks but she was stunning in who she was. She came out of nowhere and was without a doubt one of the most lovely children you could hope to meet. Everyone was touched by her in some way. She loved her life and she loved her people. She wanted to be a Mum, just like her Mum. No bigger compliment could have ever been made to me.
I was blessed to be her Mum, I know that. Her Sisters were blessed to ber Sisters, they know that. We can't change what happened to her. But we can sure as hell make sure what we do makes a difference to others. In that way her Grace and Love and hope for Joy in the world will continue. We live in a mad crazy at times world. We all wonder why we are here. We are here to make a difference. Lauren was bold and not scared to say she loved people. And she acted accordingly.
I wondered when she died if I had told her enough how much I loved her. I sat as a Mother in her empty room and looked at her clothes. Two little leather jackets she had, hand made in Bali. I cried when I looked at them and gathered them up to see if I could still smell her essence and of course I could. I still can. I don't need photos or any other objects to know she was here. My Mother In Law said a womderful thing to me at the time.
"You don't need photos of her, you carry her in your heart."
I do, we all do, for all of us there is a lost child, sister, brother Mum Dad at some time we will carry in our heart. No human being is exempt. Not all of you will lose a child like I did. But all of us at times will bear the unbearable, and hopefully it will spur us on and not drag us down.
I was blessed to have her to love for 12 and a half years. And by her dying it made me a better person. A more understanding, less judgemental person. A Human being with the frailties that being human brings. And a person that I hope reaches out to others and says,
"Can I help ? " Just as she would have done.
So thnk you Russians for starting the ball rolling and getting me to continue to write. I just love you guys xxoxoxox
Love Janette
The Russian people were the first of my International readers to come on board and read my stories. My Grandson Brock said they were just hackers that were trying to hack my account and I said,
"Nyet'
I seriouly love my readers, I am 33,000 readership now and figure that's about a third of the MCG. Melbourne Cricket Ground that holds a 100,000. I am so very grateful to them all as without them I would have found it hard to continue. So much of my life has to go into my stories and I neither wanted to be arrogant or smug about it. I just want them all to know that I am so terribly pleased and proud that they read them.
I write about the tough stuff as life and all its twists and turns resonates in all of us. No one has it easy. For every Family there is heartache and hope, heartlessness and Joy. As a good friend of my brother's said. R.I.P. Roy Litterick, who died tragically young at 50, (nicknamed Littledick)
"We can't help the shit that life hands us, but we can sure as hell decide how to handle the shit "
And that is so true for everyone. We don't always understand but we can learn to live through it, live around it and decide to handle it and not let it bring us down.
There are triumphs and tragedies for everyone. Great sorrows and great happiness. We have to grin and bear it at times and not let it get us too down or we will be of no use to anyone. I wanted to kill myself many times after my daughter died. I felt like life could hand me no worse sentence. No Mother can lose a child and not be forever changed by it. I have my days when I just want to wallow and then I have days when I want to celebrate her life. She mattered.
I know from having my own Mum suicide how many times us kids blamed ourselves or Dad. But she was terribly ill, only a terribly illl person takes their own life. My other girls still needed me, at that time, my baby Grandson needed me, Kyle who was 2 weeks old. His Mum was a mess at losing her beloved younger Sister. So were my other girls and doubly hard they were teenagers themselves as was she.
The Teenage years are hard enough without the loss of a sibling. My girls went through hell and I so admire them now as they are strong capable women and I am their biggest fan. The first few years were unbearable, absolute shit. We all fought and wanted to die and we had no where to hide our anger and frustration, our grief was overwhelming as I am sure you will understand.
Lauren hurt no one in her life and when we saw Rapists and Murderers we wanted to kill them and we were angry that they were still alive and she wasn't. How does that equate ? How ? but we came to an understanding, just as the expert grief counsellors said we would. They said we would find a reason for her being born and a reason for her dying. I know that sounds impossible and as you tuck your kids up in bed tonight, understand what I am saying.
We don't know what we have until it's gone. Lauren was a stunning, beauty. Not just in her looks but she was stunning in who she was. She came out of nowhere and was without a doubt one of the most lovely children you could hope to meet. Everyone was touched by her in some way. She loved her life and she loved her people. She wanted to be a Mum, just like her Mum. No bigger compliment could have ever been made to me.
I was blessed to be her Mum, I know that. Her Sisters were blessed to ber Sisters, they know that. We can't change what happened to her. But we can sure as hell make sure what we do makes a difference to others. In that way her Grace and Love and hope for Joy in the world will continue. We live in a mad crazy at times world. We all wonder why we are here. We are here to make a difference. Lauren was bold and not scared to say she loved people. And she acted accordingly.
I wondered when she died if I had told her enough how much I loved her. I sat as a Mother in her empty room and looked at her clothes. Two little leather jackets she had, hand made in Bali. I cried when I looked at them and gathered them up to see if I could still smell her essence and of course I could. I still can. I don't need photos or any other objects to know she was here. My Mother In Law said a womderful thing to me at the time.
"You don't need photos of her, you carry her in your heart."
I do, we all do, for all of us there is a lost child, sister, brother Mum Dad at some time we will carry in our heart. No human being is exempt. Not all of you will lose a child like I did. But all of us at times will bear the unbearable, and hopefully it will spur us on and not drag us down.
I was blessed to have her to love for 12 and a half years. And by her dying it made me a better person. A more understanding, less judgemental person. A Human being with the frailties that being human brings. And a person that I hope reaches out to others and says,
"Can I help ? " Just as she would have done.
So thnk you Russians for starting the ball rolling and getting me to continue to write. I just love you guys xxoxoxox
Love Janette
