Manners Maketh The Man
Without Prejudice
It's not feasible that men can have the lot. Nor women for that matter. If he's a big business man his attention is elsewhere. His challenge is in his climb to the top of whatever his tree is. I admire ambitious men. They sacrifice a lot for where they are headed. Relationships can usually not survive that sort of one way commitment. Driven men are just that, driven men. Type A personalities, usually. The wives or girlfriends of such men have to learn to cope on their own or not at all.
One of my daughters friends worked at an exclusive school in Melbourne. The amount of drumken socialite women was large. Some she had to arrange for taxis home from charity events. These were women who didn't need to work and were married to fabulously wealthy men. Who were never home. Women, especially young women, need attention.
They like the lifestyle and all that goes with it but they are still women and need affection and love. They can find it in their children but often need male attention as well. So what do they do?. Take lovers of course or drink, do drugs, anything to fill the emptiness they feel. The women she told me of were Doctors wives or Lawyers wives. Pampered in every way except perhaps the one thing that they craved, love and attention.
So too does the stay at home Mum, She is often too busy with little kids to go seeking trivial pursuits. But sometimes the thought of endless days of brain mush might do her head in, too. Having a career before hand and spending time with little kids is enough to send some women into reckless behaviour. An affair for a woman will usually be fuelled by rage.
As far as the stay at home Mum is concerned she is often restless and bored. 3 year olds and babies do not give her the outside stimulation that she often craves. I met so many of those women when I went to the UK in 82. Women who escaped their husbands and kids one night a week and met up in clubs. Numbers were exchanged, kisses were exchanged, body fluids might be exchanged in a dark corner some where or up against a wall outside. It was a free for all the likes of which I had never seen. Any scales I had over my eyes were gone forever when I left Yorkshire.
So too at home in Australia. Syl my best friend told me she stepped out on her back porch to see her back fence neighbour in a serious clinch with a man who was not her husband. Syl worked afternoon shift at a cigarette factory and she said the goings on in the car park had to be seen to be believed. We were all so young and tied up at home with small kids. I was lucky in a way, mu husband let me go out dancing and he would mind the kids.
He didn't want to know where I had been or what I was up to. And I didn't bother getting up to anything as I was happy enough to just get out and away from the kids and him. My friends and I would go to Caseys in Hawthorn or The Hunters Lodge. We would dance and and dance, drink and smoke and for a few hours would be the girls that we really were. We could dress up and party. If a man asked for our phone numbers we would give them false ones as we knew it was going no where.
I never kissed a man, allowed him to buy me a drink or sat at his table. We all went together and came home together. I was grateful to my husband to have a baby sitter, him, and his car. I was never tempted by other men, most of whom would have been married, anyway.
When I was single I went berserk for the first twelve months of being free. Went out with lots of men, younger usually and fun. My girls were gob smacked as to what I could pick up. But I was only reacting to a broken marriage. I had been in a marriage that I took seriously. I liked being married and the respectability it brought. I just didn't like who I was married to. I loved him I just didn't like him that much.
He always said I should have been married to a "Myron", someone who worked 9 to 5 and came home on the dot for tea. Instead I was married to a Man that worked 7 days a week for the first 12 years, while I raised 4 kids that i had in the space of 6 years all on my own. I resented him, I raged at him, I was alone all the time. No one to take up the slack or lessen the stress. It seemed to me it was all about the money and not about the Family. And I was right.
No one congratulates you on a clean floor. No one pats you on the back for clean washing, or a made bed. And then Germaine Greer arrived. And we were told as women we could have it all.
It's not feasible that men can have the lot. Nor women for that matter. If he's a big business man his attention is elsewhere. His challenge is in his climb to the top of whatever his tree is. I admire ambitious men. They sacrifice a lot for where they are headed. Relationships can usually not survive that sort of one way commitment. Driven men are just that, driven men. Type A personalities, usually. The wives or girlfriends of such men have to learn to cope on their own or not at all.
One of my daughters friends worked at an exclusive school in Melbourne. The amount of drumken socialite women was large. Some she had to arrange for taxis home from charity events. These were women who didn't need to work and were married to fabulously wealthy men. Who were never home. Women, especially young women, need attention.
They like the lifestyle and all that goes with it but they are still women and need affection and love. They can find it in their children but often need male attention as well. So what do they do?. Take lovers of course or drink, do drugs, anything to fill the emptiness they feel. The women she told me of were Doctors wives or Lawyers wives. Pampered in every way except perhaps the one thing that they craved, love and attention.
So too does the stay at home Mum, She is often too busy with little kids to go seeking trivial pursuits. But sometimes the thought of endless days of brain mush might do her head in, too. Having a career before hand and spending time with little kids is enough to send some women into reckless behaviour. An affair for a woman will usually be fuelled by rage.
As far as the stay at home Mum is concerned she is often restless and bored. 3 year olds and babies do not give her the outside stimulation that she often craves. I met so many of those women when I went to the UK in 82. Women who escaped their husbands and kids one night a week and met up in clubs. Numbers were exchanged, kisses were exchanged, body fluids might be exchanged in a dark corner some where or up against a wall outside. It was a free for all the likes of which I had never seen. Any scales I had over my eyes were gone forever when I left Yorkshire.
So too at home in Australia. Syl my best friend told me she stepped out on her back porch to see her back fence neighbour in a serious clinch with a man who was not her husband. Syl worked afternoon shift at a cigarette factory and she said the goings on in the car park had to be seen to be believed. We were all so young and tied up at home with small kids. I was lucky in a way, mu husband let me go out dancing and he would mind the kids.
He didn't want to know where I had been or what I was up to. And I didn't bother getting up to anything as I was happy enough to just get out and away from the kids and him. My friends and I would go to Caseys in Hawthorn or The Hunters Lodge. We would dance and and dance, drink and smoke and for a few hours would be the girls that we really were. We could dress up and party. If a man asked for our phone numbers we would give them false ones as we knew it was going no where.
I never kissed a man, allowed him to buy me a drink or sat at his table. We all went together and came home together. I was grateful to my husband to have a baby sitter, him, and his car. I was never tempted by other men, most of whom would have been married, anyway.
When I was single I went berserk for the first twelve months of being free. Went out with lots of men, younger usually and fun. My girls were gob smacked as to what I could pick up. But I was only reacting to a broken marriage. I had been in a marriage that I took seriously. I liked being married and the respectability it brought. I just didn't like who I was married to. I loved him I just didn't like him that much.
He always said I should have been married to a "Myron", someone who worked 9 to 5 and came home on the dot for tea. Instead I was married to a Man that worked 7 days a week for the first 12 years, while I raised 4 kids that i had in the space of 6 years all on my own. I resented him, I raged at him, I was alone all the time. No one to take up the slack or lessen the stress. It seemed to me it was all about the money and not about the Family. And I was right.
No one congratulates you on a clean floor. No one pats you on the back for clean washing, or a made bed. And then Germaine Greer arrived. And we were told as women we could have it all.
